AN: This chapter doesn't have the "past part". Listen to the song's words carefully, it fits perfectly this chapter's idea.

Stupid boy

She laid her heart and soul right in your hands

And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans

I guess to build yourself up so high You had to take her and break her down

Blair found herself moving towards the familiar room. She took a deep breath as she saw the numbers written in a dark grey. 405.. She was still asking herself why she was even doing this. She just couldn't stay away, now could she? She was so mad at herself. She was Blair Waldorf, she was not weak, she did not depend on anyone, damn it she was Blair Waldorf but she just couldn't spend a second without thinking of him.

Blair's POV:

Do you know how it is like to lose the only thing that makes you feel alive? When you give your everything but apparently your everything is not good enough, cause when you need him to be there he freaks out. That's when I became ashamed of myself, of the emotions I was feeling and at the desperate thought of getting them out of me. I wanted them to be gone. I wanted to be what people thought that I was but at the same time I didn't want to live up to anyone's expectations. My low self-esteem was slowly taking control of my actions, thoughts and just for a moment, a tiny little moment I lost it all. I used to lose it all.. But nobody has ever known that, nobody has ever seen the hurricane that takes control over me whenever somebody messes up with my emotions. I wasn't going to open myself up, not anymore. I was supposed to be strong. I kept repeating to myself, I am Blair Waldorf but really, who was Blair Waldorf without Chuck Bass? Cause I haven't figured out the answer yet and you wanna know why? Because I have never truly let him go. At times i wanted to go back and feel the pain that i used to feel when we were together. I felt like it was worth it. I even went to sleep in the early hours of the evening hoping that my dreams would get me closer to him, or if not, at least back in time. Sometimes i used to fear Chuck's humanity. I used to try to find people he had loved along the years just to make myself sure that he was capable of love. Wasn't he? Could he just open himself up? That just wasn't important anymore, or was it?

I got out of my mind when I realized that a cold tear ran down my cheek. For the past months I had been struggling not only with the heartbreak but also with the flashbacks that followed and now I was just getting it all out on him. I had been waiting for so long for this, for the chance to give him a little piece of my mind. I opened the door, not as gently as I did the previous time. He immediately looked at me not really believing that I was there.

"Nate must have given you good arguments, never thought that I'd see you back in here." his soft voice echoed through the hospital room. I felt a bittersweet taste in my mouth as I remembered the previous conversation that I had with Nate.

"Why should I even go back Nate?"

"He needs you Blair, he wants to fix it all."

"Do I look like I can be fixed Nate?" I started screaming, bringing some sense into him like my life depended on it.

"Do you even know why he got here in the first place?"He continued calmly, ignoring my raised voice. I shook my head waiting for him to continue.

"He was so drunk Blair, after you had gone he just lost it all. That night he saw a brunette wearing a yellow headband. Considering his statement, she looked so much like you from behind. He started stumbling towards you - well her, and he began crying like a little baby. Your name was the only word that left his mouth that night. That was when a car came and hit him. He didn't play attention to my warnings, nor did he want to. He just wanted you."

"I might go and see what he has to say." I replied quietly feeling guilty that I had even agreed to do such thing.

"Was I just a toy?" I blurt out.

"You were my everything Blair. You know it, you know how much I l-"

I interrupted him not wanting to hear those words leaving his mouth ever again. "Hush. I needed you Chuck. For once in my fucking life I needed someone and guess what, you were never there. I am over you."

"Is this what you really think or is it just what you are trying to make yourself believe?"

"You out of all the people, you used me."

"I didn't use you Blair."

"Of course you did. When I wasn't strong enough you just ignored me."

"Don't you think that it hurt me to see you crying yourself to sleep every night? Don't you think that I was terrified? You didn't speak to anyone. I was scared of hurting you more, I didn't know what to say or do. I have never been in that situation."

"I just needed you to be there."

"Please, just let me make it up to you."

"How can you even say that Chuck? Make it up to me? You're speaking like you hooked up with some girl for a night and it's not such a big deal. You can't take it all back. I'm sick of your games, how could I even trust you?"

"It can't be over." His voice began to shake.

"Get over yourself." I replied with no emotion. My voice, I think it scared him. It was so plain, it showed him my "indifference". He didn't want to face that. He didn't want to believe me and I could only image all the questions that were going through his head.

I needed air. I wanted to get out of the room as I felt the familiar taste of the salty tears running down my cheeks, touching my lips and going down my neck. He grabbed my hand with the strength of a healthy person that I didn't expect him to have. I sat on his hospital bed with my back turned towards him. I didn't want to face him. He slowly took me in his arms, his features showing me compassion. His hand was slowly wiping away the tears that couldn't stop coming. I felt so fragile, it seemed like he didn't want to break me. I closed my eyes as I listened to his comforting words echoing through my mind. They captivated my attention, his scent making him way too irresistible. His cologne was a soft mix of bittersweet aromas. I breathed it in, inhaling the scent I used to know so well. I slowly faced him afraid of the effect it would have on me. He started to lean in and I somehow found the power to push him away, ignoring the lack of affection that had been haunting me. My voice began to raise. Oh, how annoyed I was.

"How can you fucking dare to try to kiss me? After the pain you had put me through." His caring soft eyes were scanning my face.

"You just need to listen to me Blair! Goddamnit, listen to me!" He shouted the second part and made it sound so harsh that I instinctively backed away.

"I'm just done with this." He grabbed my hand and stopped me from leaving.

"No! You stop running away! Tell me what you want from me, just tell me Blair." He sounded desperate, needy. Too bad I wasn't going to give him what he had been wanting all this time.

"I wanted - " He interrupted me getting more and more furious. We were both shouting at the point. I was sure the nurses would come in any moment.

"No! Fuck it! Just fuck it Blair! I made a mistake, a big one and I am sorry. But you need to tell me what you want from me. Not back then, right now. Tell me B!"

"It's not that easy."

"Dammit, can't you see it? You just need to fucking open up."

"Don't go all angry on me cause I am the one who is supposed to be angry. How much can one take? Huh Chuck? How much?"

"I can help you. I. can. help. you." He repeated it over and over again, the more he said it, the angrier i was. I felt like kicking something in agony, I felt like slapping him, screaming louder, punching him, destroying him. But instead I closed the space between us, making our lips collide in a fight of domination. How I missed his soft lips and velvet touch. The passion was there, it had always been. His lips were angrily devouring mine making it difficult for me to breathe from time to time. His hands were moving down my curves making goosebumps along their way. My legs were wrapped around his waist and my hands were lost in his hair.

Chuck's POV:

Passion, love, ache, want, lust, desire, sorrow, happiness.. It was amazing how all these feelings managed to surround me at once. All I could see was Blair, she was all I wanted to see. I didn't believe it when she found the strength to kiss me but that was Blair. She surprised me with her determination, stubbornness and want.

She pulled away looking puzzled. She had kissed my lips one more time before going out of the room, leaving me breathless.

AN: Please review and let me know if I should go on with the story.