Title: EROs?
Pairing: Naruto/Sakura
Summary: Who would have thought the Hokage wannabe and the Protégé of the Hokage would actually…and in the Hokage's room too!
Word Count: 2502
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. (sigh) If I did I wouldn't be writing this type of crappy stuff right?
A/N: About the title, Eros in Greek mythology is the God of sexual love and beauty. The word is also just the opposite of Sore. Haha…this title is completely random and found by accident. Promise! (such is the power of chance and luck :DD) Also ERO is a japanese for pervert, hentai, ecchi etc...not too sure..
004. Sore
"You sure you're okay Naruto?"
"Um..yeah..er..no I think."
"Well…want me to help you?"
"Really? Thank you so much Sakura-chan!"
It all started with Kotetsu and Izumo.
The two friends and the Hokage's unofficial delivery slash messenger boys were as usual carrying heaps upon heaps of paperwork for their Hokage to throw—er sign. Aside from the usual cursing and wondering of how specifically they got this job, they hurriedly made their way to the Hokage's room. They don't want to face with the Hokage's wrath once she realizes that the papers were a minute late…or it was just that she'll blame the two of them to escape the tedious task that is paper work. (Which happens all the time, thankfully Shizune is there to the rescue else they'll find the Hokage tower flooded with unfinished paper work.)
It was supposed to be a fine, normal, repetitive and ordinary day but when they almost reached the Hokage's room, they heard something that made their lives, including the whole Konoha shinobi and civilian alike, change forever. And no, it was not a battlecry, nor a declaration of war nor the Hokage approving the rule that every citizen should wear pink on Saturdays. It was more specific but undistinguishable.
It was a moan. Specifically a male moaning.
Immediately they dropped the mountain stack of papers. As if the Hokage asked them to dance naked, Kotetsu and Izumo's eyes widened the size of plates and their jaws hanged completely to the floor.
"H-Have you heard what I just heard?" Kotetsu whispered frantically to his companion. Izumo, too shocked and astounded to move, simply nodded his head madly. Gulping the two looked at each other, silently wondering how the hell they should face this situation. But before they can knock to know who the hell was in there and, oh gods, to confirm whether they are actually doing what they think they are doing, a somewhat breathless and female voice spoke.
"Hey, you heard that?"
"Heard what?"
"Something fell outside…maybe it's Tsunade-sama?"
"Ahhh…n-no…I don't think she's here yet…Ugh…Don't stop Sakura-chan…"
"…"
A shocked silence befalls the two of them. With their eyes dangerously popping out of their sockets and their noses almost bleeding heavily, they can only stare at the door dumbfounded. But then another moan sounded through the doors which made them literally flinch. Who would have thought the Hokage wannabe and the Protégé of the Hokage would actually…and in the Hokage's room too!
"T-they're not…" Izumo whispered feeling his mouth ran dry with apprehension.
With a new determination they nodded at each other before they pressed their ears to the door.
They're not peeping. Absolutely! This is for confirmation…yes, confirmation—Holy shit! He moaned again!
The second one was Konohamaru.
He was just looking for a certain blond-haired idiot, as usual, to challenge him for another duel. When he hadn't found him in his house, in Ichiraku's, in his favorite hangout which is the pink-haired woman's house, Konohamaru knew something was wrong. So using his brain a bit, he decided to directly ask the Hokage if his boss was actually sent to a mission he was not aware of.
He was absolutely shocked, to say the least, when he found the two renowned ninjas, completely respectable and admired, have their ears pressed to the Hokage's door snickering and blushing as blood flew freely from their noses. In short, they looked like idiots.
Feeling that this is not his cup of coffee, he was about to go back down when he heard a distinctly familiar voice.
"Down here..Sakura-chan…ahh…that's i-it"
"Naruto-niichan?" Konohamaru exclaimed, happy that he was able to find what he was looking for. Immediately the two ninjas look his way with slight panic, making shushing gestures at him.
"What?" He whisphered, coming closer to the two.
"You do not want to interfere with them if I were you." The one ninja that was called Koizumi muttered sagely, which was completely hilarious with blood flowing down his nose.
"Yes, they are having some intimate time together you know!" The other one named Izumo whisphered winking at him.
Eyebrow rose in confusion, Konohamaru decided to follow their lead and pressed his right ear to the door. Immediately after a few seconds, his eyes popped, jaws dropped to the ground and blood flowed from his nose.
"AH! I-I heard Konohamaru's voice…"
"Hm…Probably wanting to ask you for another duel…"
"Ugh… yep, probably… that feel's so good Sakura-chan…"
"So you want to go?"
"No! Don't stop Sakura-chan…haa..haa…"
"Well I won't complain if you want to go…ugh..now."
The third one was strangely, team Gai.
The four-man team actually just arrived from their latest mission which spanned a total of two weeks. Utterly tired and low on chakra reserves they opted to first report to their Hokage. However they did not find the busty blond woman and what they found there instead were three ninja, two of which they least expect to, with their ears pressed on the doors and blood flowing from their noses.
"What the hell." The Hyuuga muttered darkly while the bun-haired girl slapped her hand to her forehead.
"What are you doing my fellow youthful ninjas?" Gai shouted loudly, making the three jump out of their position before frantically shushing the ever exuberant ninja. Deciding that the best way to deal with Gai AND Lee was to go somewhere as far as possible from the room to avoid detection and possible black eyes, they made a 'follow us'' gesture to the four ninjas.
When they were a safe distance away (from Gai and Lee's voice reaching the room), they immediately explained the situation.
"Ah! So that was it! The two youthful ninjas is sharing their passions of youth! How utterly dramatic and romantic! Truly youthful!"
"Gai-sensei! Gai-sensei!" Lee enthusiastically called while raising his hand. "I do not understand! What is the passions of youth? How do I share it?"
"Oh Lee! I have forgotten how innocent you are! Alas I do not know if I'm the best teacher to explain this! Nevertheless you can know by observation! So let us go and observe how they share their passions of their youth!"
"Gai-sensei!"
"Lee!"
"Ga—" And so this name calling continued for a long time before the two dashed off to press their ears to the door which earned them, after some seconds, popped eyes and, you get the drill, bloody noses.
"I don't believe you." Tenten muttered, arms crossed. "Well us either." Kotetsu said while Izumo and Konohamaru nodded. "Those two have been denying it! But look at this now." Izumo added. "Maybe their passions burst out! You know like what Gai-sensei said!" Konohamaru piped in which was met with blank stares. "How about it Hyuuga," Kotetsu regarded the silent occupant of the conversation.
"Use your Byakugan to see what's really happening there right now." This was met with one of the world's deadliest glare to date, the Hyuuga Neji glare no. 1.
"Ahahahaha…I think that means no." Kotetsu muttered nervously while sweating profusely. The deadly aura surrounding the five was broken when the weapon mistress decided once and for all to confirm whether such accusations were true. Pressing her ear to the door, she immediately blushed, stepped away and proceeded to run out screaming bloody mur—no screaming Ino's name.
"You wouldn't believe this!" was the last thing they heard from her before she vanished with a trail of dust and dust.
And so the fourth and the fifth doesn't matter anymore because in five seconds flat, almost all Konoha citizen whether unintentional or not, were there in neck breaking poses trying to get a glimpse—er noise of what is happening inside. Needless to say, every transactions, every business stopped as if it was a national holiday just to witness the incident that would probably conclude one of the many questions and mysteries of Konoha.
Before this incident, the relationship between the blond-haired jounin and the pink-haired apprentice had been the talk of the town. Everybody wanted them to be together, however the two's romantic relationship seemed to come into a relapse after they had gotten back the Uchiha survivor. However the homecoming of the Uchiha avenger was not the reason why they've decided to suppress their feelings, as what Yamanaka Ino says, it was more of awareness they have for each other that things won't be the same anymore. They are afraid of what will happen now that they have Sasuke safely in their hands and consequently their goals gone.
Thus this started the long chain of rumors and speculations about the two wherein it was ranked no 1 in an article 'What Konoha Citizen suspects to Happen this year' of the Hi no Kuni Times. And such issue had been the long standing receiver of forums, articles, panels and discussions of every newspaper, and even television programs. Sadly, the two oblivious main characters never read the newspaper nor watched the television. The Hokage protégé was always in the hospital and if not training with the Hokage while the Konoha hero was always away for a mission and if not with his rumored lady love then eating his favorite ramen in his favorite stall.
Back to the situation on hand, it was actually a really a funny sight to see. They, meaning the shinobi and civilians, were trying to eavesdrop but their sheer number was bigger than the door. Everyone tried to find their own place no matter how uncomfortable it is just to hear what was happening inside. Shockingly everyone managed to keep their voices down so they can actually hear and they would not be heard. Some shinobi even used their skills to stick the the ceiling. Some to the wall, others just opted to stand at the sidelines and wait for their friends' confirmation. Some even use an ear enhancing jutsu so they wouldn't have to compete for space.
It was this exact sight that the legendary Hokage, Tsunade, her assistant, Shizune and one of the Anbu captain they were having a meeting prior, Uchiha Sasuke, stumbled upon on their return.
"What. The. Hell." She said in a very dangerous tone. Almost instantly, the shinobi and civilians made a shushing sound to the perpetrator thinking that it was just one of the confused citizens. But after a second of registering who she really was, they gulped, eased their way from the door before a brave shinobi explained the situation on hand.
"They're doing what?" The black-haired assistant asked, incredulous to what the ninja had just relayed. Eyebrows burrowed in confusion she mimicked what they were doing earlier before a typical reaction took place, instantly beckoning the Hokage, Shizune was bright red from her head to toe. Tsunade, a little bit angry and a little bit curious took her place next to her assistant's.
It was then that she heard something that she will never forget from her entire lifetime.
"Ah…I wonder why baa-chan's so…uhm...late…ahhh…"
"She's probably…urgh…in a meeting…How's this..?"
"Haa..ha…AH! That feels really good S-Sakura-chan…Ahhh.. Faster and harder please…"
"This is the fastest that I can…you're already slick and wet as it… ugh…is.."
"Anyway…you're so tight last night Sakura-chan so I feel really sore right now..I might not make it…"
"Shouldn't… I be the one feeling sore?"
"Well it was you're inhumane strength! You were riding me the whole AHH… night.."
"Tsunade-sama…Here's the report that you requested." The pink-haired medic announced while handing the Hokage a bright yellow folder filled with papers.
"Ah..yes…That would be all." The Hokage replied looking everywhere but her. If the medic noticed this, she gave no indication of Tsunade's weird behavior.
However before fully stepping out, the Hokage stopped her with her words, "Ah, wait Sakura, do you feel funny? Any nausea or cravings in the morning? You can talk to me you know if you have any difficulties and such…"
"Uhm...no Tsunade-sama, er...is that all?" The pink-haired ninja asked extremely confused with her questions. "Yes, yes…" The Hokage replied.
Saying her goodbyes, the medic quickly closed the door and headed for the stairs when she was stopped by an idiot.
"Sakura-chan!"
"Naruto! I thought you had a mission?"
"Well it was finished early, how about you?"
"Just submitted a report." Eyebrows burrowing in confusion, she asked the blond-haired jounin, "Ne, Naruto, have you noticed anything strange with Tsunade-sama?"
"Well…I don't know but she wouldn't look at me in the eyes whenever we're in the Hokage's room."
"That's exactly it! She wouldn't look at me too! I wonder why? But it's just not her you know?"
Nodding vigorously, He added, "Everyone's acting weird! To start off, Kiba kept congratulating me for a job well done, Neji's been giving me a disgusted look! Ichiraku-jii-san kept giving me discounts and even Shizune-neechan, Kotetsu and Izumo were always giving me weird looks!"
"Me too! Ino and Tenten are not speaking to me as of this moment because I supposedly kept something secret from them! And even the pharmacy girl offered to give me some free pregnancy test saying I might really need them! The nerve! As if I'd get pregnant this early." She said fuming when she remembered the particular incident at the drug store that she frequently goes to. "Hm…Something must've happened.."
"Well…no use thinking about it Sakura-chan! So how about this evening?"
"If it's a dinner to Ichiraku then I want a repeat performance of yesterday night as a compensation." She deadpanned.
"But Sakura-chan! I was sore for a whole day because of that!" He gave a look which almost rivaled 'The Scream'.
"Are you saying that I was too heavy?" She exclaimed preparing to clobber her companion.
"No! No! I meant we are too old to be p-playing horsey you know…um...my joints and muscles are not on their prime anymore….err….?"
"You were the one that offered!"
"But you said you never played horsey before so I thought you might want too…?" Feeling a punch coming in, he ducked.
"You should be thankful that I massaged you afterwards."
"Um...next morning Sakura-chan, the next morning. Anyway you were amazing Sakura-chan! Where did you learn to massage like that. Though I don't like the oils, it feels icky afterwards." He said shuddering when he remembered what he felt.
"I only told you to put small amounts but you just had to dump the whole bottle on your back, it gave me a hard time too you know? Your back was so slippery and such." She said preparing to go, the Blond knowing that the Pink-haired girl was busy decided to forego reporting to the Hokage to chat with his friend.
"But you only said to put it on so I put it on!" was the fading words of the blond as they descended the stairs.
Afterwards the door to the Hokage's room opened and one of the legendary sannin's head poked out, completely out of her wits and in great disbelief.
.
.
.
.
"Massage. The Konoha got an impromptu holiday because of a massage and sore back?"
.
.
.
A/N: I like this title. Surely. XD Anyway sorry again for the grammar mistakes and ruining the characters… especially Kotetsu and Izumo. I don't have time the time to check so sorry for the wrong grammar and thank you so much to those who reviewed..^^
And there you have it my fourth dra-urgh! Oneshot. Oneshot. Please review?