A Mutual Misunderstanding

How many hours had it been, I wondered as I groggily pushed myself off of the couch. The room was filled with the dull light of the early morning. I didn't want to wake up, but it seemed like even my body was telling me that I needed to get ready for school.

I sat up then sank back into the couch. My thoughts wandered as I looked out of the window where the light came from.

Yukinoshita, by the end of today, would be out of my life. Undoubtedly, after the events of yesterday, Yuigahama would also. The Service Club was both disbanded officially and in spirit.

It's fine, I reminded myself.

My eyes felt fatigued, and I could feel dried tears lingering on my skin. I stood up from the couch with plans to wash my face and head to school.

"Onii-chan, you're finally up." I saw Komachi standing by the counter, making morning coffee. I wiped my eyes on reflex. "What happened?" she asked.

"Nothing," I said. She frowned at me. "I just need some sleep, that's all."

"You've been sleeping for forever. Tell me, or I'm gonna get mad." She pointed back to the couch where I had spent my entire night forcing myself to sleep. I didn't want to argue. I sat down but looked back at her as she fumbled around with coffee mugs.

When the coffee finished brewing, she sat down next to me and handed me a mug. I blew on the hot coffee and took a sip.

"So?" She looked at me with a furrowed brow and downturned lips.

I didn't think she needed to know what was going on. This was my problem to deal with, and I had already found my answer. Even if she didn't like that solution, it was too late to change anything. No, there was no need to bother Komachi with what I went through.

And yet, I was reminded of when I told her about what happened during the class field trip, and how she helped give me an answer. Sure her answer turned out to be an excuse to hide my own, but it still helped.

There was nothing I could do. But would telling Komachi hurt? She was willing to listen. She was there for me then, and was here for me now.

And thus, I spoke.

"Yukinoshita is leaving today."

I prefaced my recollection with that, and Komachi paid attention the whole way through. I didn't leave out my plans to confess or Yuigahama's confession. She reacted with excitement to each of those parts, but that quickly faded when I told her the aftermath.

"So, in the end I did nothing. Maybe there was nothing that could've been done in the first place," I said. She scratched her chin while she stared at a single point on the floor. To break the silence, I asked her a question. "Did I overthink things?"

"Onii-chan, thinking is the only thing you're good for. Honestly, that's like your one good point." I didn't know how to respond to that. "So, you need to think some more."

"What do you mean?"

"All Komachi wants is for Onii-chan to be happy. Are you happy with this?"

"No, but…" I trailed off, and Komachi sighed.

"You're seriously frustrating. If you're not happy then do something about it!"

"What could I do now?"

"You need to think more. Like, instead of saying 'there's nothing I can do,' think about it. I don't have an answer for you. Find it yourself." After saying her coarse words, Komachi leaned on me. Her weight was comforting.

"And if you try and fail then Komachi will be here to listen to you. Komachi will always be here to listen to you complain or celebrate or anything. You can even cry on my shoulder if you want. Kyaa, that was super high in Komachi points." Hearing her familiar mantra, I let out a chuckle. She lightly pushed me away, even though she initiated the contact, and went back to sipping her coffee. I drank mine as well.

"Thanks, Komachi," I said after we both finished.

"Any time, Onii-chan." I grabbed our mugs and brought them over to the sink to wash them. When I went to place them in the cupboard, I saw something.

The Pan-san teacup given to me by the Service Club sat amongst the rest of the cups. Maybe Komachi washed it and put it away for me when I brought it home.

The character Yukinoshita was obsessed with stared at me with it's lifeless eyes.

Surely, I could try.

I rushed to the bathroom and washed my face. I looked at myself in the mirror and straightened my uniform. When I came back into the living room, Komachi tilted her head at me.

"I'm gonna go." She smiled at my words, then handed my bag to me.

"Good luck," she said. I nodded and dashed out the door. I started making my way to the station.

With any luck, Yukinoshita wouldn't be on a plane right now. I checked my phone. The time was seven. After I got to Sobu Station, the train ride would take about an hour and a half.

Who would know when Yukinoshita's flight was? Realizing a possibility, I opened up my contacts and made a call.

"Please pick up," I said to my phone, as if she could hear me through it.

"Hikigaya?"

"Hiratsuka-sensei, did Yukinoshita report to you when her flight was?" I asked.

"She said it was ten o'clock out of Narita. I'll text you the airline details."

"Alright, thanks. It looks like I'm going to be late to class." She chuckled.

"So you've found your answer then?" That wasn't the case. I was going to talk to Yukinoshita, but what I was going to tell her was still unclear. It was more like I found my resolve.

"Something like that," I answered. Then, remembering Hiratsuka-sensei's words from before, I asked a question. "The things I could only do now, the things I could still do before Yukinoshita leaves… what did you mean by that, exactly?" She sighed in response.

"The answers we have to different situations won't be the same. That hint was more to get you thinking about what you could do, rather than what you should do. And after all that thinking you've found your answer. You don't need mine." Hearing that, I was satisfied.

"Thank you."

"Anytime, Hikigaya. If you ever need someone to complain to, I'll be around." I thanked her again, we exchanged goodbyes, and I ended the call. Soon after, a message with Yukinoshita's flight details came.

Komachi, my closest stranger, and Hiratsuka-sensei, who had been guiding me all along, had finalized my decision, despite telling me they didn't have answers to give me.

Komachi told me to think more. Hiratsuka-sensei said we all had different answers for our own situations. And they were both there for me when I wanted to talk.

All I was good for was thinking. Komachi was probably right about that. I spent all my time thinking and rationalizing. Even now, as I raced against the clock, my brain was running on all cylinders.

But there were people who would listen to me. There were people who I could share those thoughts with.

Was Yukinoshita included?

I didn't know, to be honest. Yukinoshita seemed perfectly fine with leaving forever. I still didn't know what she was thinking.

But I shouldn't have been using others' answers for my own problems. I needed to think more, and three things were on my mind.

How I felt about Yukinoshita.

What I wanted from our relationship.

How to put those things into words.

And there was another problem: I was running out of time.

I arrived at Sobu Station at around seven-thirty. By my estimates, barring any bad luck with switching lines, I should be able to get to the airport by nine. As long as Yukinoshita wasn't early, I could talk to her before she went to her gate.

It was a shot in the dark, but I had to take it.

I heard a quiet voice as I waited for the train to come.

"Hikki…" I turned and found Yuigahama staring at me. I froze for a moment.

What about Yuigahama? We spent two years together as well. If I said I was going to talk with Yukinoshita, then didn't it make sense that I would also talk to Yuigahama?

I was sure she was still hurt from the day prior, but I approached her anyway. She backed up slightly, but we met face to face.

"We should talk," I said. She looked downwards.

"I… don't know if I want to hear it."

"Even still, we should. We need to." I took a breath. "I'm going to talk with Yukinoshita right now. After school, maybe we can talk about us." She looked back up at me.

"Are you going to confess to her?" she asked.

Was that still my answer, I wondered. I didn't know. I needed to think more. But that was for the future. Right now I needed to say something to Yuigahama.

"I don't know. I'm not sure how I feel. But still… we never said anything about us before yesterday." She took in a sharp breath, and I watched her clench her fists. "But we should."

"... Okay," she said. Hearing that was all I needed to move forward.

The train came, and we both boarded. She got off at the stop for Sobu High. I stayed on the Sobu Line. Then I switched over to the Keisei Line, and eventually, the Narita Line.

During the ride, I thought about the others I had talked to the past couple of days.

Tobe believed that we were close, and that a confession between two people who were close would be a success. However Ebina, the girl he wanted to confess to, only displayed her mask to others. Tobe fell in love with that, and Ebina would surely reject him if he confessed.

Miura loved the Hayama that would live up to everyone's expectations. She was willing to risk their entire relationship with a confession, but gave up when she heard Hayama was moving away. Maybe she realized the risk was greater than the reward.

Yuigahama… I had already sorted out my thoughts about her. But we would talk about us, and, if we discussed everything at length, then those masks we placed on each other might crumble away and reveal our true selves.

Thinking of all these situations, I arrived at my answer. I knew what I was going to say to Yukinoshita.

I arrived at the airport just before nine. The airport was packed with both Japanese and foreign people.

Knowing Yukinoshita, she'd probably come around this time, if not earlier, to avoid any holdups.

I looked around. Surely, she was here. She had to be.

I headed to the check-in area for international flights. I looked at Sensei's message again, glanced around to find that airline, and went in that direction. I stood at the check-in area for her flight, trying to find her amongst a sea of people. I looked back towards the entrance, but she was nowhere to be found.

She couldn't have already headed to her gate, could she? If she did, then it was over. These words would remain unspoken. All this thinking would have been for nothing.

Maybe there was another option, but at that moment, I couldn't see anything but complete separation in our future.

Then, as I started to head back to the entrance, I saw her.

Her slender figure, with her long black hair and skin white as marble, stood out in the crowd. Actually, it was more like I could recognize her anywhere, in any crowd of people. I could even imagine the small, red ribbons tied on strands of her hair.

She was walking towards the check-in area. She looked around at the signs, as if making sure she was going the right way. For once, I was glad Yukinoshita was bad with directions.

I made my way towards her. She stopped walking when she saw me approach.

"Yukinoshita," I said.

"Hikigaya-kun, why are you here?" she asked as she turned to me.

"I want to talk to you." She tightened her grip on her suitcase and began to walk past me.

"... I have a flight to catch." I took a breath before uttering my next words.

"I was going to confess to you yesterday." She stopped walking and turned towards me. I walked forward.

"Hikigaya-kun… I—"

"Please, let me finish," I requested. She nodded. We looked at each other.

I took a deep breath.

"I don't understand you. I thought I did—no, I pretended I did. I forced my expectations upon you. And you defied them. But I still pretended like I understood you. Even until now, I've been pretending.

"Confessing with that on my conscience? There was no way I could do that. And I doubt you would have accepted under those circumstances." She clutched her arm, but didn't look away.

"Therefore, I won't confess any 'love' for you," I said. I breathed in and out. Her lips were turned slightly downwards.

"Is that all?" she asked.

"No," I said, remembering all the things I had thought of saying to her.

"I want to understand you." Her eyes widened. "I want to know more about you. I don't want these past two years to mean nothing for us. So…" I gulped down my saliva and my fears.

"So could we keep in touch?"

There it was. My feelings and desires out in the open. Not hiding behind twisted logic or self deception or vague, meaningless words.

All that was left to this confession was a response.

"Do you have any paper?"

"What?"

"I know your eyes are bad, but are your ears as well?" She grinned at me. "I need something to write on, Hikigaya-kun. Maybe I can pull out a marker and write on your forehead?"

For a second I didn't know what to think. Then, after realizing that this was Yukinoshita's answer, I grinned back.

"Oh? What about my so-called Hikigerms? Aren't you afraid of getting infected?"

"I have hand sanitizer in my luggage, and the marker will be promptly disposed of." She glanced at her phone. "Hurry up, please."

I quickly reached for a notebook in my bag and handed it to her. She pulled out a pen and began scribbling in it. Eventually she handed it back to me and walked to my side. She pointed at things in the notebook as she spoke.

"Here's my mail address. And this is my schedule in Japan time. I'm free from here until then. I assume you're usually awake at that time."

"Yeah."

"Then I'll be expecting calls around then. Video chats would be best. At least once a week sounds reasonable, doesn't it? Also, I'll be in Japan during holidays and school breaks."

"So…"

"I accept, Hikigaya-kun." She smiled at me, and I was reminded of exactly how beautiful Yukinoshita Yukino was. Then she flicked her hair back, and the smile turned into a sneer. "Of course, if you don't call, then I'll assume you weren't serious."

"I am."

"Good." We stood still as people passed by us, some even giving us glances as we spoke. I looked at the notebook and typed her address into my phone. Then I sent a message.

"Have a safe flight," it read. Her phone buzzed in her hand. She started typing as well.

"Thank you." I looked away from my phone and back at her.

"So um… should we, uh, shake hands?" I asked. Yukinoshita started to giggle while covering her mouth. "W-what? It's not like you know how these things work either."

"I don't, but shaking hands is…" She continued to laugh, her body shaking. When she finished, she sighed before speaking again. "Sure," she said as she let go of her suitcase and extended her hand towards me.

I followed suit, and the two of us pressed our hands together. She had a strong grip. Come to think of it, this was probably the first time we had any sort of voluntary skin contact.

She eventually let go, but her warmth remained present on my hand. She grabbed the handle of her suitcase once more.

"I should go now," she said.

"Yeah. Do you know the way?"

"It's just over there, right?" I nodded. "Goodbye then, Hikigaya-kun."

"Goodbye, Yukinoshita."

As she started to walk away, I was reminded of Totsuka's words about friendship. Keeping in touch… spending time together when possible…

This agreement with Yukinoshita was that, right?

I rushed forward and grasped at her sleeve. She looked back at me with her eyebrows raised and eyes widened. I decided to ask that question once more.

"Yukinoshita, could we be friends?" It was the first time she let me finish. She seemed to be pondering her answer, with her hand at her chin.

"That's impossible," she said. "You said yourself that you don't understand me, right?"

"Yeah… I suppose that's true."

"But… here's a consolation prize."

Yukinoshita grabbed my sleeve as well and leaned closer. The scent of jasmine shampoo filled the air around us. She tilted her chin and spoke in a small whisper, and I could feel hot air brushing against my ear.

"I don't understand you, either."

Those words that sounded like an affirmation as well as a promise lingered between us.

We didn't say anything else. She eventually separated from me and began walking away. She turned around and waved. I waved back. Then Yukinoshita walked into a sea of people, and I watched until I could no longer see her figure.

I headed to a vending machine and pulled out a couple of coins. The prices were more expensive than normal, but I was okay with that. I inserted the coins and pressed a button for MAXX Coffee.

I headed up to the observation deck. I sat down on a bench, pulled out a light novel, and sipped on my drink, occasionally checking my phone for the time.

When the clock struck ten, I put my book away and stared towards the airplanes. A plane was slowly getting ready for takeoff. Within a few minutes, it was on the runway and speeding away from me. It lifted off into the sky. I watched it as it shrank and shrank before disappearing into the blue.

On my way back to the station, I felt a spring breeze blow past me.

It would be summer before we knew it. If I remembered correctly, American schools had long summer breaks. If her break coincided with mine, maybe she'd drag me out of the house and away from my books and video games.

Then fall would come. School would be picking up again, and we might not have much time to chat. I wondered about meeting her minimum requirement and if she'd actually give up on me if I didn't.

Winter would be upon us after. Along with it would come the holidays that I'd usually spend alone if not for Komachi. Yukinoshita might be busy with family matters around that time. But… just maybe... we could spend them together. Not just us, but with everyone… maybe even Yuigahama.

And finally, spring would come again. What would change by then? Would we come to understand each other? Would we drift apart by then?

Maybe it didn't make sense to guess at the future like this. But even so, with the wind at my back, I clutched the notebook that sat in my bag, thinking about what was to come for the two of us.

A/N: Thanks for reading this fic. I hope you enjoyed it to its conclusion. Finally finished~~~

Well, not really.

There will be an epilogue, so look forward to it! It might be a while because school and work and video games and… I'm a busy cheese.

This chapter took sooooo long (because of my ineptitude), and there are many, many versions sitting where they belong in my (virtual) trash can. If they were physical manuscripts, I'd watch them burn in my fireplace and warm my hands over their embers.

I would like to thank my beta readers. Seriously, thank you for slogging through thousands of words with me. I could not have done this without you and your criticism. Big thanks to Zingy, Kat, Admiral, and Jin. We made it, boys c:

Also, many thanks to everyone who stuck with this fic. I hope I was able to live up to your expectations.

Reviews:

ChangingOfTheSeasons: You beta read my fic… but neglected to bring any of this up?! You silly goose~ I will be writing a larger response to this under the next cut.

Calvados: Hehe, what love letter? Idiot Hachiman didn't plan ahead~

MisakaLover: I was aiming for that c: Thanks for reading!

Link8: Thanks for reviewing each time buddy. Good luck with your work~

Ralph: Thanks for coming to my defense (jk). Nice to see you in my reviews again, friend.

HarimaHige: It was supposed to just happen quickly with minimal thinking to give a feeling of 8man being overwhelmed by everything. Of course, if I failed to capture the emotions, then this is my fault as a writer. As for Yukino POV, I wanted to keep the story all 8man POV.

BlackPsych: Heh, that's exactly what I was aiming for. Glad to know that feeling was translated through my words. Also, for the record, I'm perfectly fine with a loner ending as long as 8man undergoes big change~

Thanks for all the reviews! I really appreciate that all of you would take the time to type these~

Anyway, the epilogue will be rather short, as this story is technically "complete". However, there is a scene that I envisioned when I originally came up with the idea for this fic, and I'd like to share it with you all. HachiYuki incoming, so if you're not a fan of that, then skip it. The author notes will also be minimal in that one. Probably just review responses.

For future story plans, I do have one idea floating around. We'll see whether or not I can come up with a cohesive plot for it. Let's just say it involves everyone's favorite Onee-chan~

Well, this was probably way too long for an afterword. I'll see you all when the epilogue comes out.

On a certain day in January, while typing an outro that has been done way too many times…

Alrighty ChangingOfTheSeasons, here we go.

"Does his attraction to Yukinoshita need to be explained or is it just taken for granted by the reader?"

Well, 8man did say he was "fascinated" by Yukinoshita. There are other hints/subtext in the LN, but that could just be me reading too much into things. For this fic, however, I decided that he wouldn't be sure of this "attraction," thus making his "answer" unclear.

"It's just that for both Yui and Yukino - he notes these "masks" of expectation, of his judgements on their character. But when he rejects Yui, he uses words such as "deception" and "lies" to justify him rejecting her, yet with Yukino, he only seems to fear rejection and accepting being "alone" with all of his prattle about society, despite them both wearing similar "masks," as he calls them."

I tried to make it seem like 8man was rationalizing his decision to not confess to Yukino. Since Yui fell in love with her image of him, and he thought that was "deception", then surely his confession to Yukino would also be "deception". Thus, I spent less time talking about masks with Yukino. Of course, if my intentions were not clear, then that is my failure as a writer.

Thanks for bringing this up... but could you say it earlier next time?! Just kidding, love. I appreciate your input as always~