Blaine's POV
After the fainting scare yesterday, I laid out plans for studying with Kurt. Tuesdays were also so homework-heavy, so today was the perfect day to start out helping him. During the scheduled study hall, I met up with my boyfriend in the Warblers' practice room.
"In order to get the final answer, you need to cancel those out like normal," I was saying, pointing at the paper but checking to see if Kurt understood.
"They can be cancelled?" he questioned with clear dejection in his tone.
"Yes. It's just something you have to memorize." He sighed in response and hung his head in his hands. I took pity on him and grabbed one of them in my hands.
"Baby, your hands are freezing," I commented cautiously. Kurt shrugged defeatedly. Cold hands meant low blood pressure. That was common sense from health class I took in the summer.
"You need to tell me, have you eaten today?" I pushed. I needed to know. Low blood pressure was a problem, right? And it sometimes came from not eating. My thoughts were interrupted as Kurt pushed away from me violently. He stood up in front of me with a fixed glare.
"That's none of your business. Leave it alone, Blaine," he spat at me. I was shocked. Never have I seen him freak out like that. I know he can be sassy and bitchy in an amicable way, but this… it wasn't like him.
"Calm down, Kurt. I'm just worried for you," I reached out for his hand, but he stepped back once more, shaking his head.
"I will not calm down. Back off with the questions about eating!" Kurt was now yelling, shaking with rage in front of my face. The anger must've proved stronger than his weak state because he went faint for a second, legs wobbling dangerously. Fuck. Not again.
"Whoa, hey," I jumped up to help him.
"It's fine. I'm fine," he shrugged me off. "I have to go," he excused. I was silent as he picked up his things and staggered out of the room.
I didn't know what to do, or think. This was a lot more serious than I thought. I sat back down on the couch, wondering what the hell just happened. I referred back to what set him off: food.
My mind whirred but finally clicked. Kurt's stress was so serious that his skipping meals was an addiction now. A heavy feeling sank in my chest.
Kurt's POV
"In order to get the final answer, you need to cancel those out like normal," Blaine was teaching me patiently. Numbers and words swam in my head. We had only been studying for thirty minutes in the Warblers' room.
"They can be cancelled?" I tried to calmly ask, but everything was boggling my mind up too much. Deep breaths, Kurt.
"Yes. It's just something you have to memorize," Blaine said.
I gave up. I hid my face in my hands so Blaine couldn't see the frustrated tears springing in my eyes. I felt warm hands around mine.
"Baby, your hands are freezing," Blaine mentioned in a low, sweet voice. It was comforting. I simply acknowledged his remark with a shrug. Silence for a moment.
"You need to tell me, have you eaten today?"
I shot up from my seat without a thought. Not this again. Fucking hell.
"That's none of your business. Leave it alone, Blaine," I voiced with some venom. I could only see red. My boyfriend was stunned but his eyes still held that stupid sympathetic sadness. It's my secret. No one can know because no one will understand.
"Calm down, Kurt. I'm just worried for you," he tried to placate me. Does he know how hard it is for me? He can sit there looking so fit and lean. I look like a fucking cow next to him. How could he possibly understand? With my pasty and cellulite-textured skin and double chin and the thick, jiggly legs? He had no place to talk.
"I will not calm down," I countered. The red vision was merging slowly into black, but I continued. "Back off with the questions about eating!" I screamed. The exertion forced my consciousness to falter a bit. The familiar static traveled through my arms. No, no, no, no, no, no, don't faint.
"Whoa, hey," Blaine quipped. He reached out for my arm, but I could only think of the flabbiness, and I pushed my body back into semi-consciousness, avoiding the touch.
"It's fine. I'm fine," I tried to play it off. I needed to get out of there. Blaine's puppy eyes were boring into me too much. I mumbled an excuse and gathered my stuff to head to my dorm room.
As I left Blaine alone in the empty room, I became incredibly aware of what had just happened. I broke into a run, ignoring the still blurry vision from being lightheaded and quickly hid in my dorm room. I let the floodgates open as I curled up on the floor, clutching my throbbing stomach.
I just want to be skinny.