Chapter 4

Isabella woke from her dream, startled into reality by the familiar guitar riff that used to wake her every morning for school. She reached for the off button on the alarm clock before she could get too into the song. Pressing her hands to her eyes and rubbing them, she sat up and observed the pale light of dawn streaming through her window. The shadows of rain drops across the window pane made a spotted pattern across her floor and walls.

Today was the first day back after meeting Edward in the woods, and she was not sure how she would be able to cope on her return to school. Charlie had put her on house arrest since that night and had barely let her out of his sight for the past week. But today they were both going back to real life, and the thought was daunting.

A knock came at Isabella's bedroom door before Charlie stepped in. He took in her appearance quickly, checking she had not cried again in the night: her eyes were not red. "Ready for school, Bells?" he inquired.

Isabella could not ignore the double meaning, and so responded in kind. "Yes, I'm ready." Charlie gave a brief, Chief's nod, then stepped back into the hallway and downstairs to make breakfast.

Isabella left her bed and swiftly dressed, ignoring the soreness still in her arms from the branches that had cut her. When Charlie had found her, she was shivering with cold and curled up on the hard ground with deep cuts in her arms and sodden boots. She looked like death had visited her, and he had no idea if it had because she had not told him anything of what happened out in the woods. He knew it was more than upset with him, for she had not protested when he took her up into his arms and carried her home. Something awful had happened to her and he did not know how to help her.

Charlie looked into therapists in the local area, but the closest one was in Port Angeles and he was not sure she would go; he could not take her himself. Besides, he knew that Isabella was more like him than she ever was her mother. The Swans were not talking people.

. . .

"What do you have lined up for me, tonight?" Isabella said excitedly into the phone. Jasper had called to double check she was still able to meet with him that night.

"Oh, lots of things…" he replied ominously. Isabella's stomach clenched at what he promised.

"That does not help me pick out something to wear," she said jokingly, turning her mind to other things. "Come on, what kind of thing are we going to? I don't want to dress up and then find that we're picking through trash in a dumpster—"

"What gave you the idea that I rummage through dumpsters to pass the time?" he laughed.

"I don't know! Which is the point actually; I really don't know what you have planned tonight."

"You wouldn't think we had been dating for three months, would you?" Jasper murmured. He tried to make it sound like a joke, but Isabella could sense some hurt in his voice. She was instantly remorseful of her thoughtless words.

"I'm sorry, I'm just nervous," she mumbled, hoping to rid his voice of that sadness.

"There's no need to be nervous," he said with a sigh. Finally he relented: "Look, we're just going out to dinner, nowhere fancy. Better? Have your nerves been calmed?"

Isabella grinned. "Much." Jasper could hear the smile in her voice, and could not stop the one also spreading across his face.

"I'll stop by your place at seven, okay?"

"Okay," Isabella replied, twisting a lock of hair around her finger.

"Bye Bella."

"See you tonight."

. . .

"Hello, Bella," was Mike Newton's perpetually friendly greeting. He was just climbing out of his car when he saw her, and his eyes lit up at the sight of her. Isabella had noted long ago that Mike liked her, but could not seem to find it in her heart to feel the same way. He was just… Mike.

"Hi Mike," she replied, stopping, thinking it impolite to carry on walking. Perhaps he could tell her what had happened at school in her absence, not that she really cared. It was something to listen to other than her 'what if' mental ramblings, though.

"I'm glad you're back. I know it was the anniversary. I'm sorry." Isabella waved his condolences off.

"I'd rather not think about it to be honest. What did I miss?" Mike chose to humour her, a smile lifting his face.

"Well, Coach Clapp has broken his leg falling off a ladder, so he's off for the next month…" Isabella was only too pleased to hear that her Gym classes were cancelled. She had never got along with sports of any kind, but Coach Clapp seemed to have a sadistic turn to him and always tried to make her take part. He seemed to think she only needed practice. Isabella knew better.

"Hey!" Jessica called to them across the parking lot as they were about to step inside the main building. "You're back!" The smile that lit up her whole face warmed Isabella. It was nice to know that there were some people who noticed and cared when she was not there. She could cling to these people as she could not cling to Edward.

Jessica caught up to them and they walked together to their respective classes. Jessica chattered away at Isabella with all the latest gossip in the town, clearly glad to have someone who was nice enough to listen. Most people did not care to hear what Jessica had to say.

In Spanish, Jessica eventually worked up the nerve to ask about how Bella was feeling.

"I'm doing fine, thank you," she replied. Jessica could tell she did not truly mean it. The smile Isabella tried to wear only looked like a grimace and Jessica almost wished she had not asked. Almost. Maybe she could help her friend?

"Is there anything you want to talk about, Bella? I'm here if you need me," Jessica said kindly. It sounded like a genuine offer. She had to admit that it was tempting; but it did not take a genius to know that if she attempted to approach anyone with her story, they would most likely ship her off to some kind of mental facility. But she knew it had been real, or else how could she remember it so well?

"Thanks Jess."

. . .

Isabella's buzzer rang, calling her to the phone. She was just putting her rose studs on when it rang. She hastily pushed the backs on as she went to the phone.

"Hello?" she spoke into the handset. She knew who it would be, but just in case, she kept some of the eagerness out of her voice. He was five minutes early.

"Hey, Bella, let me up?" She smiled.

"Sure!" Then she pressed the buzzer, unlocking the door downstairs to let Jasper in. She opened her front door to see him climbing up the stairs. A smile lit his face when he saw her, nearly ready to go except for her makeup. He could not say she was any less beautiful than she already was though and pulled her close for a kiss. Her breath was minty and she smiled against his mouth, wrapping her arm around him and pushing her hand into his hair. Absentmindedly Jasper pushed the door closed behind him and wrapped both arms around her. It was a searing kiss and Isabella had to wonder what had brought it on—not that she was complaining. It was just a shame that they were planning to go out.

After several minutes Jasper finally pulled away from her, but only to look at her face. Her eyes were dark, the colour seemingly intensified by the passion of the kiss. A small smile lifted the corners of her eyes in happiness.

"We're all right, aren't we?" He could sense worry behind the seemingly innocent question and wondered what could have caused it.

"Of course we are." He kissed her forehead in adoration. They were not quite at the 'love' stage yet, but they could both tell that it was close. They were close. She leant against his chest, wrapping her arms around his chest and pressing her face close; she could hear his heartbeat. Steady.

. . .

"What exactly did Edward say to you, Bella?" the woman asked, wearing the customary look of concern all therapists and psychiatrists seemed to wear. Isabella had not wanted this, but when she had not regained the exuberance her father expected of her in three months, he had decided that it was time she went to therapy.

"He said a few things," Isabella replied evasively. She could not see the use in telling this woman anything. They spent only one hour per week together; this woman could not help her to move on when it was the people surrounding her that held her back.

"Anything in particular?" she said nonchalantly. She wore a lilac blouse and short, black pencil skirt with tights and black patent heels. She did not belong in this drab room, talking to this girl who could not open up.

Yet she persevered.

Isabella could not understand it.

. . .

Isabella and Jasper held hands as they walked into a Thai restaurant on 9th Avenue. A waitress showed them to their table and walked away, promising to return for their order. They were sat across from each other, Isabella Swan and Jasper Whitlock, able to observe each other's expressions without anything hidden. Both had decided privately that if a painful issue came up, they would try to be candid; this relationship mattered too much for it to be broken by insecurities and secrets. They both knew it.

Isabella rested her chin on her hands and looked around the room. Its walls were decorated by red paint and mahogany coloured wood panelling went all around the room. This theme continued into the criss-cross pattern of the half walls that separated each booth around the edges of the room. The middle section was open and loud; it seemed like half of Manhattan had decided to converge on this restaurant that particular evening. This made it hard to hear what each other were saying.

Jasper could see Isabella's mouth moving but could not pick out her voice from the other forty voices in the room. He had to ask her to repeat herself three times before he finally understood. If he only had known that it would be so crowded this evening, he would have taken her elsewhere.

"I'm really sorry, Bella," he yelled. "Do you want to go somewhere else? There must be somewhere quieter…" She strained to hear him over the din, but managed after a moment of mulling over the pockets of sound she had heard, putting the words together like a difficult jigsaw puzzle of sound.

She pointed to a drape that hung tied to the post their seats were attached to in the booth. "We could release that?" she suggested.

"Do you think they'd let us?" he replied, certain there was most probably a fire hazard clause somewhere about that.

"We'll see," she said mischievously. At that moment she unhooked the drape on her side and let it fall; Jasper did the same. Now the noise was greatly reduced, they smiled at each other. It was probably only a matter of time until the waitress came to tell them to hang them back up, but they were grateful for the moment of peace. Their hands clutched together across the table.

"What are you having?"

. . .

"Bella? Are you listening to me?" Charlie called, reaching his hand across the table to shake her. She had been doing this a lot recently and it had been part of the reason he had decided to send her to therapy. His deputies had been understanding when he told them he needed time to take his daughter to get some help. They had graciously taken it in turns each week to cover the Chief's shift. It had not seemed to make any difference yet, though.

She blinked twice and focus returned. "Sorry? What were you saying?" Charlie sighed, setting down his fork and clasping his hands together under his chin. Isabella could see he meant to communicate something important to her—not that she particularly wanted to hear it.

"I was saying that maybe you should start hanging out with Jacob Black? You used to be good friends with his sisters, but I don't think Sarah ever let Jacob play with the three of you. She didn't think it would be much fun for the kid, especially as Rebecca and Rachel were going through the teasing phase. But Jake's a good kid, and he's only a couple of years younger than you." Isabella resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Dad, I don't really think that's a good idea. If he's thirteen right now, I doubt if he'd even let me close enough to him for fear of catching cooties."

"Jacob's very grown up, Bella, I don't think he's like that at all…" Charlie said doubtfully.

"Well I don't feel like making new friends at the moment; I have Jess and Angela and Mike. Is there something wrong with them?" Charlie's eyes narrowed.

"There's nothing wrong with them, but you don't ever see them!"

"Yes I do, I saw them only yesterday," she replied curtly.

"I mean outside of school, Bells," Charlie said, his voice waning. He was getting to the end of his tether, and Isabella could see it getting ready to snap.

"I'll arrange to meet up with them this weekend. It's meant to be nice weather… maybe we can go to the beach?" Charlie smiled at the prospect. He could drop her off there on his way to meet Billy. "Okay?"

"Good," he replied, satisfied.

. . .

The waitress, to their surprise, had not asked them to pull the drapes apart again, though of course she had to briefly while she took their order. In truth, she sympathised with the couple; she could hardly hear herself think, so what must it be like to be on a date and in that position? Her manager had never specifically mentioned the drapes could not be closed.

So it was without much quibble that she served them their food, pushing aside the drapes with her customers' aid. They were only too pleased.

"This looks good," Isabella murmured with a wide smile. She picked up her fork—because she had never quite got to grips with chopsticks—and started eating her food straight away. "How did you find this place?"

Jasper swallowed a bite of his own food before he answered. "I came here once for a business meeting. The client was difficult to catch, so I had to go wherever he was going to cut the deal. I remember that I had already eaten my lunch at work, but I went anyway and when I got here the smell of the food just made me hungry again." He chuckled to himself at the memory, at the desperation of being a newbie on the job. Eager to please; no task is too big or too small. That was a while ago.

"Is that when you were new?" she inquired, genuinely interested.

"Yes, I was very new. I had barely been in the job a month."

"I remember that feeling of inferiority you start out with. All the people around you make it look so easy and you just want to be as good as them. You want to fit in." Jasper nodded in understanding.

"That's absolutely it!" Jasper ate another mouthful of his Kung Pao chicken.

"And then there's the 'getting to know you' period where everyone is just probing you constantly for information about yourself. At my place, they're surprisingly snobby about what college you went to. It's a joke really, considering how many of them never even went…" Isabella grumbled, pushing another bite of food into her mouth bitterly.

"It's good when you find someone nice and normal. Then you make friends. That's got to be the best part of it," Jasper replied, hoping to move her mind away from unpleasant memories. "Peter is a good friend of mine; I'd have been lost without him in the start."

"That's great, that you can get along with the people you work with. I haven't yet managed to make any friends here—apart from you, of course." Isabella smiled, though Jasper found this fact saddening. How could she have spent so long in this massive city without a friend?

"Surely there's someone, Bella?"

She shook her head. "Not really. My friends are back in Washington, I try to call them every so often."

"So you've been living here for four years… and you haven't made a single friend?" Jasper was incredulous.

"When you put it like that, it sounds worse than it has been. I honestly don't mind." She really had not minded; Charlie, Angela and Jess were just a phone call away when she was feeling lonely. She had her work to occupy her too, to keep that loneliness at bay as long as possible. Her smile, apparently, was not convincing enough.

"I'll take you to meet Peter and Charlotte next weekend; they've been asking to meet you for weeks now and I reckon it's about time they did." Jasper reached his hand across the table to take hers. It was a comforting gesture, and Isabella found herself nodding in agreement. Why not?

"Okay."

"Great."

A/N: A little different from the last couple of chapters, but I hope you can appreciate what I'm doing here. haha :) Thanks for reading!