Chapter 4: Trudging Onward

"For all intents and purposes, the moment we enter those woods, we're as good as dead!" Rodney declared.

"Rodney . . ." Dr. Beckett began.

"DEAD!" the scientist interrupted vehemently, his panic seizing control of him. "As is, no longer breathing, food for the worms or whatever the hell they have out here, pushing up daisies! We enter those woods and we will never . . ."

"RODNEY!" Carson shouted suddenly. "Snap out of it!" The man was stunned into silence. "You're not gonna die. Colonel Sheppard's not gonna die—I won't hear of it. Now, if we stay here, we might be seen from a jumper, but if they're searching primarily on foot, they probably won't reach us in time—at least not for the colonel. I can't tell you what to do, but it seems the best option is to move into the trees and keep going. Either way, I'm not gonna just stand by and watch the two of you die." Rodney just stared at him for a moment.

"We, ah . . . we don't have much time, do we?" he asked finally.

"Aye," the doctor admitted. "You don't. 'Specially Colonel Sheppard."

"Oh, god . . . we might not make it," the scientist murmured.

"You've got to think positive!" Carson urged.

"I'm not very good at that," Rodney said. "I'm much better at seeing the negative side of things." Dr. Beckett pressed his lips together for a moment before stepping closer to his friend.

"Rodney, I know you're scared of what might happen, but if you give up now, you're condemning not only yourself, but Colonel Sheppard, to death," he spoke grimly, looking into his eyes. "I know you don't want that."

"He's, uh, kinda important to the expedition," Rodney noted.

"Aye, and so are you," Carson told him. Taking a deep, though shuddering breath, McKay reached down and took up the poles of the cot. He briefly wondered how such an action could possibly be causing him pain when he felt so numb.

"Shall we, uh, shall we go?" the scientist asked, nodding in the direction they needed to take. Carson placed a hand on his shoulder and gave an encouraging smile.

"Aye," he said.

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"So we flew around in the jumper for the next hour and a half trying to find the Stargate, wondering how in the world Sheppard managed to lose it," Rodney was finishing off a story as they walked along. "It turns out that we were looking in the wrong place the whole time. I still haven't let him live that one down."

"Sounds like a fond memory," Carson noted. They been traveling for several hours, their pace gradually growing slower and slower.

"I, uh, I gotta stop," McKay finally admitted. He lowered the cot down and all but fell to the ground beside it. "How are the, um . . . arms doing?" he asked, looking up at the doctor.

"I think I'm getting used to the pain," Carson smiled. "I'm fine, Rodney—I've been a heck of a lot worse."

"Here," the scientist said, pulling out a power bar from the small stash that they had. "Eat something."

"Why, thank you," he accepted the offering as Rodney turned to check on their friend's injuries.

"Has he started bleeding again?" the physician asked as the scientist sat back with a sigh.

"No, but his pulse has gotten weaker," McKay answered. "I, uh, I think we're starting to lose him."

"No," Carson told him. "You can't think that way." He pressed a power bar into Rodney's hand. "How are you holding up?"

"Oh, you know . . . bad headache, concussion, ankle screaming in pain—oh, and don't forget the overwhelming feeling that my life's about to end," came the response. "Typical mission, really."

"Rodney . . ."

"I'm just—I'm just so confused," Rodney said, tears glistening in his eyes. "I mean . . . my life wasn't supposed to be like this. I-I feel like I haven't slept for weeks and that-that this is some horrible, horrible dream and that I'm gonna wake up and find that it's started all over again. Like a—a living nightmare."

"But that's not true," Carson assured him, his accent adding to his soothing tone. "Lots of good things have happened."

"Yeah, but-but in my dreams . . ."

"Don't say it," Dr. Beckett commanded as though he could read his mind. "Rodney, this isn't the first trial you've been through. Remember the withdrawals you suffered when you took the wraith enzyme?"

"Yeah," Rodney chuckled at the memory. "I thought you were trying to kill me—I even said so."

"Aye, and that's not all you said . . ."

"This is fun for you, isn't it, watching me like this?" Rodney accused frantically from the infirmary bed.

"I assure you, it's not," Dr. Beckett said, his expression full of sympathy for his suffering friend.

"What is this, payback?" his patient cried angrily. "You're jealous, huh? Jealous of how vital I am to this mission—vital, vital—jealous of how I get to go off-world and, and you get stuck in this stupid, pathetic excuse for a hospital!"

"You know that's not true," Carson patiently told the man.

"Jealous I get all the women and you don't!" McKay screeched.

"Excuse me?!" (1)

"Oh—I did not say that!" Rodney declared, pausing in the middle of taking a drink of water from their one canteen.

"Aye, but you did," Carson grinned good-naturedly. "But the point is that you pulled through then and on many different occasions—this time need not be any different. We should keep going."

"I'm not sure I can."

"I beg your pardon?"

"My ankle an-and my ribs and just about every muscle in my body is aching," the scientist explained. "I'm, uh, I'm just not strong enough."

"Rodney," Carson insisted, pulling the man up as best he could with his injured arms, wincing as he did so (fortunately, Rodney didn't really resist). "You have to keep going." Rodney gazed at the terrain ahead of them and then back at John.

"You're right," he said finally. He once again took up his burden, groaning with the painful effort. Carson regarded him sympathetically.

"Talk to me, Rodney," he said, falling in step behind him. He knew that talking helped take McKay's mind off the pain of each step.

"Okay," Rodney complied. "Well, um, let's see . . . did you hear about the time when Zelenka and I discovered some sort of, uh-uh, what do you call . . . physics lab . . ?"

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(1) 2x11 "The Hive"

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TBC . . .

A/N: Thank you to all of you who have reviewed and have kept an eye out for minor (and not-so-minor) mistakes. Be sure to let me know what you think! Hope you like it . . .