Smashbound
Chapter 4: Epic Win
Fallen: (clenches fist) Those rotten children! They shall pay for what they have done!
Pit: Oh yeah? What did they do?
Fallen: That stupid blonde kid sent me flying into a wall, and the redhead threatened to kill me multiple times! He looked like he was about to!
Pit: Oh, Claus looks like he's going to kill people all the time. And Lucas does have a secret dark side.
Fallen: I'm definitely going to get back at them! They'll realize that what they've done was a terrible mistake!
Pit: Yeah, whatever.
(BACK WITH THE TWINS)
Lucas: I feel like we should watch out for that Fallen guy…
Claus: Thanks Navi.
Lucas: Wow! You're already catching up on inside jokes!
(Ness walks up to the broken door)
Ness: … What happened this time?
Lucas: Fallen broke it.
Ness: Oh, that stupid dark angel who stole my bat? I've been trying to get it back for the past hour. In fact, I came over to ask for help.
Lucas: I'm still surprised as to how fast Fallen gained his reputation.
Claus: Ha! His name is Fallen because he shall fall by my sword!
(Crickets chirp)
Lucas: (raises eyebrow) … Really, Claus?
Claus: Um… Forget I said that.
(A few seconds pass)
Lucas: Hey, I can't see a clock where I'm sitting, somebody tell me what time it is.
Claus: Cuz you're too lazy to turn around and look at a clock?
Lucas: I'm reading your book!
Claus: (turns to clock) It's six PM. Y'know… I want food.
(The twins look at each other for a minute. They have a moment of twin-telepathy (not PSI telepathy), stand up and race out of the door)
Ness: … What the heck was that…?
(Later in the kitchen…)
Head Cook: Hmm, what do we make for dinner… Oh, what might bring you two here?
Lucas and Claus: (at the exact same time) PLEASE MAKE OMELETS.
Head Cook: Um, sure?
(The twins run out the door)
Head Cook: (sigh) Young people…
(Following those two…)
Claus: They probably won't be as good as Mom's, but they're still omelets.
TL: Hi guys! What's up?
Lucas: We just told the head cook to make omelets for dinner.
TL: Is that supposed to be a breakfast food or an everything food? I never really knew.
Claus: We can have it whenever the heck we , it's been forever since we ate them together…
(Claus and Lucas both look at the floor)
TL: H-hey! Don't get all depressed on me!
Lucas: He's right… We should be happier that we even get to live here together.
Claus: Yeah…
(They trudge over to the elevator they took to get to the kitchen)
(A while later, after dinner…)
Claus: Now what do we do?
Lucas: Let's go see if Ness still needs help.
Claus: Fine…
(Later in Ness's room)
Lucas: Hey Ness-
Claus: HOLY CRAP!
Ness: … What?
Claus: You have a Wii U IN YOUR ROOM?!
Ness: Yeah…?
Claus: LET ME PLAY… NAO.
Lucas: Claus! (hits him in the back of the head)
Claus: OW!
Lucas: Ness, I'm assuming you still haven't gotten your bat back from Fallen yet?
Ness: Yeah, that's right. I already snuck into his and Pit's room to see if it was hidden there, but I never found it. Heck, I even suspected that there was some switch leading into a secret basement from there, but there wasn't anything!
Lucas: We'll help you out, okay?
Claus: All right then! Plan A: Look for the bat, or Plan B: Find Fallen and beat the answers out of him! Personally, I'd prefer Plan B.
(Suddenly, Claus whips around, barely catching a figure zipping out of Lucas's room)
Claus: … It was Fallen!
Lucas: What?! Literally right behind our backs?! (runs into his room) He stole Claus's sword and my stick… I guess we're going to have to stick with PSI then.
Claus: MY SWORD?! UNFORFRICKINGIVABLE! WE'RE GOING RIGHT NOW, LUCAS! (grabs Lucas and runs off)
Ness: O_o
(Seconds later…)
Claus: It's no use… I'm going to have to resort to flying indoors! He's too fast! Don't disappear, Lucas! (wings spread and he flies off as fast as Fallen is flying)
(Lucas sighs and runs after him)
(A few minutes later…)
Fallen: Crap… I can't get this guy off me…
Claus: GET BACK HERE DANG IT!
(Fallen turns a corner, causing Claus to barely avoid crashing into the wall)
Claus: NOBODY STEALS FROM ME AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!
Fallen: LUCAS TECHNICALLY DID!
Claus: WELL HE'S MY BROTHER!
(Fallen suddenly turns another corner and presses a button hidden behind a poster. The wall opens up and he flies through, the wall closing behind him)
Claus: (stops and lands) He's gone…
(Claus scans the area and suddenly notices a certain part of the wall that his eye outlined)
Claus: … Hehe.
(Lucas catches up)
Lucas: What happened? Did he get away?
Claus: Nope. (walks over to the poster with the button under it and presses the button, causing the wall to open, revealing a staircase)
Lucas: Whoa…
Claus: I bet this is where he's hiding all the things he stole!
Lucas: What if it's just a secret passage?
Claus: Whatever! (picks up Lucas bridal-style again and flies down the stairs)
Lucas: This doesn't seem very safe!
(At the bottom of the stairs, there is a very spacious room with several entrances, probably from all over the mansion. On the other side, there's Fallen with a pile of stolen items)
Claus: (puts Lucas down) HEY, YOU!
(Fallen freezes)
Claus: You thought you could hide from me, didn't you?! Well, you thought wrong!
Fallen: How did you find me?!
Claus: My right eye.
Fallen: The red one?
Claus: Yeah, it's mechanical. It made the secret passage very obvious, you know.
Fallen: DANG IT! I thought nobody would ever find this room!
Lucas: Who would've guessed there was a secret basement in the mansion?
Fallen: … Me?
Claus: NOW GIVE ME BACK MY SWORD OR YOU PERISH BY MY CANNON! (mechanical arm transforms)
Fallen: Hey, hey, hey. You're taking this way too seriously-
Claus: SHUT UP! (shoots at Fallen. He barely avoids) DON'T FRICKING STEAL FROM PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY ME! THIS TIME, I'M FIGHTING YOU OUTSIDE THE ARENA ON PURPOSE!
Lucas: Wow, that's a lot of caps.
Claus: DON'T BREAK THE FOURTH WALL!
Fallen: Wow. Clearly this guy doesn't like to be messed with.
(In that small amount of time, Claus managed to fly over to the pile of goods and get his sword back)
Fallen: … Oh crap.
Claus: Hey. Fallen.
Fallen: What…?
Claus: SCREW YOU. (strikes him with lightning despite the fact that they're indoors and in a basement at that)
(Fallen drops, fried and unconscious. Claus smiles)
Claus: (puts sword away) Mission accomplished.
Lucas: … So now what?
Claus: Go find something to tie him up with before he wakes up!
(Lucas tosses him a rope)
Claus: … How did you find this so fast?
Lucas: It was lying on the floor.
Claus: (scans) … This is the exact same rope we tied up that Ninten kid with.
Lucas: And that means…?
Claus: Obviously this guy has been stealing stuff from us since Chapter 2.
Lucas: And you're the one telling me not to break the fourth wall?
Claus: I am an ex-commander human chimera psychic who shoots lightning at people with a magic sword, your argument is invalid. (walks over to the still-unconscious Fallen and ties him up) Now call security again, because I still don't know how!
(A few minutes later…)
(More than just security has shown up. In fact, almost every resident in the entire mansion came down, since apparently Fallen is that annoying. I mean, even the hands showed up)
(Snake comes out of a box that somehow appeared next to Claus and Lucas)
Claus: HOLY CRAP WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!
Snake: Good job. I knew you pull it off, kid.
Fallen: THIS ISN'T OVER! (is thrown into the back of a truck by security)
Claus: I kind of wonder why that was so easy…
Lucas: I think the main problem the residents were having was finding him, and then he was avoiding anyone who caught him stealing whatever… But thinking about it is kind of pointless, because he's already being sent off. Now, I'm going to go get whatever he might've taken. (walks away)
(Pit approaches Claus)
Pit: Hey, I know I share a room with that guy, but FYI, he was being kind of annoying about me talking and I had no idea this room exists, so don't kill me for sharing a room with him and not saying anything about what he does.
Claus: … Whatever?
(Lucas comes back)
Lucas: Hey, turns out all he took was our weapons and that pointless rope that I didn't bother picking up, and I got my stick back, so-
Claus: ALL RIGHT LET'S GO! (picks up Lucas and flies out of the basement)
Lucas: STOP DOING THAT WITHOUT WARNING!