Summary: The night was dark and stormy. And very random. R&R!

Disclaimer: No, seriously. I own nothing. Please. Believe me.

A/N: I have nothing to say. I've randomed myself out again. Please review!

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"YOU PUT YOU'RE RIGHT FOOT IN, YOU TAKE YOU'RE RIGHT FOOT, YOU PUT YOU'RE RIGHT FOOT IN AND SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT!" sang Ron as he entered the Great Hall.

"YOU DO THE HOKEY POKEY AND YOU TURN YOURSELF AROUND…THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT!" Draco chimed in, but everybody stared at him and he felt stupid. So he shut up and stared at his hands, wondering when he could next go into a closet.

A man sat down at the Ravenclaw table. "Hello," he said. "My name is Reeves. Keanu Reeves." He whipped a pair of sunglasses out of his pocket and put them on. A big booming voice came out of nowhere.

"HELL WANTS HIM," it said. "HEAVEN WON'T TAKE HIM. EARTH NEEDS HIM,"

"AND I LOVE HIM!" screamed a girl from the Ravenclaw table. Her name was Paige. She didn't realize she had screamed this out loud right in front of Keanu Reeves, so she felt very embarrassed. She and Draco were going to have to form a Stupid People's Club. Keanu Reeves suddenly jumped up and walked over to Paige.

"I love people who love me!" he exclaimed, then bent down on one knee. "Will you marry me?"

"Oh, YES!" Paige said, and jumped up and hugged him. They drove off into the sunset, and lived happily ever after.

Meanwhile, Dumbledore had set up a dance floor so people could dance. Hermione's parents had decided that a rival oil sheik was going to kidnap her, so they gave her 6 bodyguards that followed her everywhere. She wanted to dance, so her bodyguards got up and danced with her. Her face was completely hidden from view, so when Ron went up to ask her to dance, he stared at the one piece of her he could see. Which happened to be her boobs.

"Would you like to dance?" Ron asked.

"I only dance ballet," Hermione's boobs said.

"Oh, well. What a coikidink!" Ron responded, "I only dance ballet too!" The bodyguards spread apart to let Ron in. They formed a wide circle around the two, and Ron threw off his magically appearing jacket. Hermione grand jête-d in her way into his arms, and they proceeded to perform a part of Swan Lake. Ron ended on one knee with Hermione in the air above him.

"That was beautiful!" cried one of Hermione's body gaurds, wiping a tear from his left eye (his right eye couldn't tear because of an accident involving a pickaxe).

"Hermione!" Ron declared, "You have made me a man! For now and forever on I shall be known as Ronnie Rasco!" He magicked up a chair and sat down in it as the rest of the Hall came up to pay their respects to Ronnie Rasco.

Draco, however, did not like being upstaged by Ron (er, Ronnie). So, he decided to put a Top Secret Plan into effect. His Top Secret Plan involved his secret society. First, he would get everyone to wear the nice green pins. Then, at a certain hour and a certain minute and even a certain second he would make sure everyone screamed out "DRACO IS A SEXY BASTARD!" After that, he was positive, no one would care about Ron after that. They'd be too interested in him. He told his Top Secret Plan to Pansy, but those two weird unbelonging people, Izzy and Eric, overheard it and started laughing. "Go giggle in the back of the room, girls," he pouted.

"OOOHHHH!" Pansy screamed. "Feelin dissed, huh, huh?" Draco kissed her just for sticking up for him, and they moved slowly into the closet for the eleventy-twelfth time, Draco forgetting all about his Top Secret Plan.

Meanwhile, Ginny was having a bit of a problem. Two hot guys and just surrounded her. She should have been please, because guys never surround her, but there was something wrong with these guys. They were growling. And had very point teeth. And their faces were sort of, well, squished in. With lots of lines. Actually, they didn't look so hot anymore.

"Mmmmm. Juicy," one of the guys said. He moved in closer to Ginny, and was about to stroke her neck (Ginny had heard this meant the guy was interested in her), when a girl fell in from the ceiling. She knocked the guy off of Ginny, and punched him in the nose. The other guy came up to fight her, but she smashed him in the face with her foot. She swung around, taking a piece of wood out of her sleeve, and drove it into one of the guy's heart. The other guy watched on in horror, and only halfheartedly tried to combat the girl when she came for him. Both of the guys disappeared. The girl smiled, and turned to Ginny.

"My name is Buffy. Nice to meet you!" she said.

"Ginny. That's my name, don't wear it out," Ginny said in an attempt to sound suave. Just then, a nearby door was swung open. It hit Ginny in the head and knocked her out. Buffy bent down to help her, but froze as she saw who came out the door. It was Draco, and Buffy thought him to be the hottest man ever. She flicked the girl kissing his neck off of him like someone would flick a fly, and jumped on top of Draco.

"Let's go, hot stuff," Buffy said, and walked into the closet, slamming the door behind her.