They had arrived in Lancre. In fact, Agnes and Vlad were engaged in polite conversation with Verence and Magrat, both of whom, typical to their natures, were being understanding and reasonable about the situation. It was driving Perdita mad.

'So you're saying that you are harmless vampires?' Verence wanted to be very clear on this point, after the last time.

'Yes.' Vlad was louging beside her, as always looking completely at home in any place. He kept glancing her, with slight concern, as though he thought that she might at any moment dissolve into tears at the wariness of her old companions. He had been extremely solictious since they had decided to go to Lancre. She found that, while it was slightly hurtful that they no longer trusted her quite as much as before, it wasn't something she was going to cry for. Tears were rather pointless and Perdita would never let her forget it.

Shawn Ogg had heralded their arrival. He hadn't made any comment on Agnes new appearance, just mentioned that Nanny would be pleased to see her again. Apparently, whilst her disappearence had been noticed, everyone had assumed that she could cope. They always assumed that.

'And you're going to see Granny and tell her that?' Magrat seemed nervous on Agne's behalf. After the initial explanition of the new modern vampirism Magrat had been relatively friendly.

'I don't really see I can do much else.' Agnes had the nagging feeling that sooner or later she would have to talk to Granny and would rather make it sooner-she couldn't live with the vague sense of impending doom.

'Good luck.' Verence said it without thinking.

'Thank you. I'm sure we'll need it.' Vlad smiled toothily. On a vampire smiles can be truly devestating.

They left Lancre Castle and headed to Granny Weatherwax's cottage.

***

As they walked through the woods Vlad looked at Agnes. She was staring straight ahead in a manner that suggested acute determination to see this through to the finish. He was slightly worried that perhaps this trip would trigger her taking a new and depressive look at her life. He didn't want her to see eternity through in a deep melancholy. He had changed a lot since he had first left Uberwald-he actually cared about somebody else, for one thing.

***

When Vlad and Agnes arrived both Granny and Nanny were there. Agnes was glad. Nanny was guarranteed to be more sympathic, due a mind broad enough to encompass the entire disc.

The four of them stood awkardly in the kitchen.

'So that's where you went. Didn't think to leave a note. We've been having to cope without you. Do you realise how few witches there are now?' Granny Weatherwax broke the silence.

Nanny tried to come to Agnes defence, 'You don't know what it's like Esme. In these kind of situations you just don't leave notes. You're thinking of other things.'

Agnes looked at them. To them she realised, she was no different to how she was last month.

'So you aren't that worried that I'm a vampire?' She couldn't quite believe it.

'Why should I? That's your business and I doubt you'll hurt any one, Agnes Nitt. Just so long as you keep him in check,' a sharp nod at Vlad, 'you're welcome here. I remember old Queen Grimner. You wouldn't be the first vampires to survive on steak. Your cottage is as you left it.' Granny actually winked. 'I knew you could do better than a priest.'

They just need someone to make the tea. That's not so bad. Yes it is. Well at least life won't be boring. Just don't annoy Weatherwax or you'll end up with a garlic stake. That was an awful joke. Who's joking?

'What do you think? Don'tgonearthe is drafty. How about my cottage?' Agnes had to ask.

Vlad rolled his eyes, then smiled.

'I think maybe I could manage a few decades in Lancre. For you.'

Agnes smiled and slipped her hand into his.

'You knew I was a witch before you took my pulse.'

'I suppose I did.'

Granny and Nanny exchanged glances, or in Nanny's case leers.

***

The cottage was apparently absurdly small. Vlad had resolved to petition Verence for a small portion Lancre Castle, a suggestion doomed to failure in Agnes opinion.

'You'll get used to it.' She reassured him.

'I have never lived in anything but a castle in my entire existence. That's 301 years of castle-dwelling.'

'Then it's about time you tried something else isn't it?'

'Perhaps. As I've already agreed to stay here for a while I guess I'm stuck with it. There's cobwebs in here Igor would be proud of.'

'Sorry about that. Housework was never that important, not when there was witching to be done. Since you won't have much to do in Lancre perhaps you should take on the housework?'

'I don't think so somehow Agnes darling. Anyway Verence has asked for my assistance as an advisor. He believes I've seen a lot of change in my life. He keeps saying there is no substitute for experience.'

Agnes looked at the handsome figure leaning on the wall across from her. He seemed grudgingly content with life in Lancre. Perhaps this time the happy ending really was for her. Forever.

'Aren't you glad I returned for you?' Vlad was gazing back at her now.

'Immensely.' She meant it too.

'You don't know how glad I am to hear that.' His voice was a seductive whisper in the silence of the cottage.

Narrative causality demanded a very specific answer.

For the first time she used vampiric speed, to cross the room to him.

'I love you.' She said the words so quietly as to force them to the cusp of hearing.

He took her in his arms, kissing the two puncture wounds on her neck gently before placing his mouth near enough to her ear that his lips brushed it.

'I love you too.'