As I Dream

By: Undecidedlycertain

Chapter Four

When You Find Yourself

Kakashi felt decidedly odd walking down the streets of Konoha with a child in his arms.

His child.

Obito

He weighed nearly nothing, yet he was pretty strong for such a tiny thing, and those big green eyes looked around with such excitement and curiosity that he couldn't help be drawn in by it.

"Ba!" he shouted, pointing at a flock of birds crossing overhead.

Kakashi squinted upward. "Birds. That's right." A prickling of paternal pride swelled with in him. His son was a genius. Only a year old and he could say bird!

His son…

Obito's little arm jerked, one very chubby forefinger pointing toward old lady Hiroto sweeping her front stoop.

"Ba!" he shouted.

Kakashi barked out a laugh. "Right again! Baba!" Old lady Hiroto shot him a dirty look and shook her broom handle as he passed. Obito echoed the laugh, delighted in having amused his current mode of transportation.

The pair drew a fair number of stares, especially so early in the morning when the traffic on the streets was still fairly sparse. Most were curious, a few dewy-eyed – they even got a couple of double takes, but the pair of bobbing white heads were bound to draw some attention…especially since Kakashi hadn't been seen in Konoha in so long.

Obito was fairly content to be carried, happy to look around with wide eyes, taking in everything going on around him.

He didn't even have to haggle with Takae over the onions, thankfully, but as he was waiting for the grocer to wrap them in paper Obito perked up excitedly, pointing over Kakashi's shoulder shouting.

"Ba! Ba! Ba!"

Kakashi turned to see what had caught the little guy's attention this time and smiled.

"Hey, what d'ya know. Right again." He turned to Naruto with a happy smile and a hand raised in greeting. "Baka."

"Ha ha. Real funny." Naruto said with a grin, reaching out for the child who was literally trying to leap into his arms. "Too bad that's what he calls everything. It's the only word he can say."

Kakashi felt an odd pang of loss when his arms were empty and the child was trying enthusiastically to climb up Naruto's arms to grasp his head protector.

"Oi. Cut it out, Obito." Naruto laughed, struggling with the suddenly energized little boy. "How'd you get him to sit so still? I usually end up chasing him all over Konoha when I have him."

"Out smart you, does he?" Kakashi asked blandly, taking the package from Takae. He turned to head back to the Haruno household and Naruto took his cue and followed.

"Yea…I mean…" Kakashi chuckled as his old student sputtered, "You can laugh if you want, but you don't know how he is - ".

Yes, that pretty summed it up. Kakashi shoved his free hand in his pocket, his eyes focusing on the path before him. He hadn't felt so disappointed in himself since he'd failed to save Obito. The original Obito.

"I mean – well, I only meant that…"

"There's nothing to apologize for, Naruto. Its true."

"Who said I was apologizing." Naruto shot back with a cheeky grin. It loosened the tension in Kakashi's shoulders as he laughed quietly.

"So I suppose you're angry with me as well?"

"What? Naw. Unless you make Sakura-chan cry, that is. Why? Is she mad at you?"

"Haven't seen her yet."

"You haven't – oh shit! He didn't get out of the house again did he?"

"What? No – he's done that?" Kakashi cast a surprised, and slightly impressed, look at the child chewing avidly on the leaf insignia.

"Twice." Naruto said proudly. "The first time we thought he'd been kidnapped. Sakura went ape-shit. I really thought she was going to kill me."

"Why would she kill you?"

"Eh, he – he." He scratched sheepishly at the back of his head, ruffling his long blond hair. "I kind of fell asleep when I was s'posed to be watching him. I wont do that again. Believe it." His hand twitched toward his groin protectively and Kakashi cringed in sympathy.

He allowed his head to tilt back and his eyes to slip shut, letting the warmth and darkness soothe his aching head.

"Is she angry with me?" he asked suddenly, not really sure he wanted to know. There was a small tug at his sleeve. He looked over surprised. "Eh? You want me?"

"I think he likes you." Naruto said with a sincere grin as Kakashi settled his son in his arms. Kakashi stared searchingly into Obito's little face as he tucked his chubby fingers in all the empty pockets within reach.

The baby babbled before leaning into him, trying to chew on the zipper of his vest. Kakashi just watched, cringing when his little teeth scraped in a painfully grating way against the metal pull-tab.

"Listen, I figure I owe you, so I'm gonna help you out. Obito 101 - Crash course." Naruto piped up happily. "He loves sweet dumplings, climbing on things, pinching things, and breaking things."

"Sounds charming."

"Yea, he's so cool. But sometimes he cries and you can rub his belly to make him stop."

"I see."

The strange lump in his chest had moved its way into his throat where it was swelling ominously. Two days ago he hadn't even known he had a son. Two days ago he was on his way home with no intentions other than sneaking into Sakura's apartment and having mind blowing reunion sex. Now…

Now he had this amazing little person to contend with…and Naruto knew more about him than he did. He had already missed so much, and he had no clue what to do with the kid. What if he screwed up? What if he forgot his birthday? Hell, he didn't even know when his birthday was!

Damn, he was going to be a shitty father.

"Well, good luck." Naruto said with a wave, snapping Kakashi out of his thoughts.

"You're leaving?" he asked, disgusted in the slight note of panic that carried in his voice.

"Yeah, I have to meet Hinata this morning. Weren't you listening?"

Kakashi looked at Sakura's family home, looming ahead suddenly like something out of a horror movie. Was it just him, or was that the roll of thunder in the distance?

"Don't chicken out now, Sensei!" he said with an encouraging clap on the back.

Kakashi turned and incredulous look on his former student. Naruto had grown into the most powerful shinobi in the leaf village (Sasuke would have been close had he not disappeared after the fight with Itachi and Orochimaru) and it was entirely obvious by the look on his face that he was running away.

"She loves you a lot, you know. She doesn't say it, but you can tell." Naruto said seriously, before turning and throwing a grin back over his shoulder. "Besides, Sakura – chan's not that scary."

Kakashi watched Naruto's back disappear down the road before turning to the house that suddenly seemed entirely too close.

Not that scary?

Yeah right.

"I don't know why you're sweatin' it." Genma had said one night in the pub. "hot as hell." He'd said. "look at that tight, smackable - " well he hadn't actually been allowed to finish that one before he was choking on the splinters of his toothpick.

Kakashi sighed as his eyes skimmed over the same paragraph he'd been reading for the last half hour. The bark behind his back felt coarser than usual, the air stuffier, and his mask unbearably itchy…or maybe he was just antsy today.

"So this is where you've been hiding."

Kakashi sighed, trying to burry himself deeper behind the orange bindings of his notoriously famous reading material. Internally he was screaming at the ridiculousness of the whole situation. Thirty-seven-year-old men didn't hide from little girls. And twenty-three-year-old little girls didn't persue older men with such tenacity.

This was Anko's doing. He just knew it. She had a sick sick sense of humor, and watching Kakashi running around Konoha hiding from a certain short skirted, pink haired kunoichi with a borrowed bag of groceries or potted plant to hide his hard on was probably the best entertainment she'd had in years.

Was it actually possible to die of blue ball? Truly? He knew it was the old college stand-by, but medically…he'd ask Tsundae if he weren't so sure she'd knock him right through the windows at the top of the Hokage Tower.

"I've been looking for my favorite pervert all day." She pouted prettily, the dark lipstick (also Anko's idea) contrasting vividly with her pale skin. At least she'd left the fish nets at home this time. Personally he liked her better without them.

"I resemble that remark." He said dryly, turning the page even though he hadn't read a word on it coherently.

Honestly he didn't know why he was putting up such a fight. Maybe because she meant too much to ruin it with sex. Maybe because he was enjoying their little game too much to end it.

Ugh. He really was a sick bastard.

He turned another page, well aware that she was standing over his stretched out legs and looking down at him with those big green eyes. He also knew she was blushing.

"Was there something you needed, Sakura?" he asked as blandly as possible while the knowledge that he could probably get a nice panty shot if he just tipped his head to the left a little raged rabidly through his head.

As anticipated she huffed impatiently at being ignored in favor of cheap literary porn, but instead of shouting or stomping off like she usually did, Sakura surprised the hell out of him when one slim booted foot kicked Icha Icha right out of his hands.

It flew up and somewhere to the left, but he had no idea where it landed or what happened to it after that, because he had just had a very startling revelation…

"I will not be ignored." Sakura dropped to all fours, crawling slowly up his body to straddle his waist.

…she wasn't wearing panties…

"Ok." He conceded with an asthmatic sounding wheeze. "You win." Kakashi whimpered, his head thumping back against the tree with a thunk.

Well, he was done for. Let the records show that throughout his career as a shinobi Hatake Kakashi stood at 437 wins, 1 loss. But what a way to go… His hands settled gently on her hips, his fingers flexing spasmically as his more primal urges began overriding his good sense.

"Do with me as you will." His expression was the same lazy eyed look he always had, but he knew his control was quickly waning.

Sakura frowned, her arms crossing over her chest. "That's not what you're supposed to say."

"Terribly sorry. You should have given me my script before hand."

She scoffed and swatted his chest. "Silly." Her face was a tell tale pink, and while he could tell that she wasn't uncomfortable being in such a position with him, she was uncomfortable with talking about it. "It's just – ," she admitted in a small voice, "well, its just that Anko said – "

Kakashi barked out a laugh. He knew it! Anko had been coaching her!

Except now Sakura looked offended and a little hurt and was quickly trying to scramble off his lap while struggling keeping some aspect of her modesty intact. He pulled her back down.

"Honestly Sakura, what made you think that Anko would be a good person to go to for advice?"

"Well, she's an older, more expirenced woman."

Kakashi snorted loudly at the more expirenced part. That was the understatement of the year.

Sakura was stammering now. "I just – oh forget it. This was a mistake."

"Why didn't you just talk to me about it?" Kakashi asked gently, brushing her hair out of her face with a gentle motion, letting his fingers trail from the back of her ear down her neck to her collarbone. Her lips parted in a small gasp that nearly made him groan.

"Right." She said a little dreamily, but still managing to keep some semblance of sarcasm in her voice. "Like I was just going to come up to you and say 'oh sensei, I've totally got the hots for you. Wont you bend me over and - ."

Shit. He really did groan at that. Loud enough to stop her mid-sentence.

"Oh my god!" she said incredulously, looking more than a little red now. "You mean that actually works. I thought Pig was just being nasty when she suggested that!"

He looked up into the leafy canopy above him, but no answers were forth coming.

Cool fingertips snagged the edge of his mask, jerking it down before he could react.

"You're blushing!" She was grinning openly, which was much better than the scandalized look she'd been giving him before (which really did make him feel like an old pervert!). Then she laughed: melodious, belly-shaking laughs that had her doubled over against his chest, inadvertently pressing herself more firmly against him. "The Great Sharingan Kakashi blushes!"

But when she looked up it was her turn to blush as they were now nose to nose. His hands went to the curve of her jaw, gentle and coaxing, and he could see in her eyes that she knew what he was thinking. Her eyes had gone all dewy and her lips were slightly parted in that 'kiss me' way.

And he figured what the hell. The mask was already down, he had a beautiful, panty-less woman in his lap, one who had been vying for his attentions for weeks now. One who was oblivious to the fact that she'd had them for a long time now. One who…

Sakura made an impatient noise and closed the distance between them.

Their first kiss was soft and a little awkward…and the hand resting on his chest seemed to wrap around his heart with her gentle, almost shy motions.

"You're not allowed to make me feel these things with out my permission, Sakura." He said a little raggedly when they parted.

"I think that's just the way these things work." She replied a little breathlessly. Her eyes were all he could see, and the sensations between them seemed more than he could control. It was exciting and a little disconcerting at the same time.

"What things?" he whispered against her lips, watching her eyes nearly roll back as they fluttered and closed.

Instead of answering she pressed forward and kissed him again.

"What. Did. You. Do." Pakkun accused harshly, an incredulous look crossing his usually impassive face as he stared down the giggling mini – Kakashi with wary interest.

Obito tugged roughly on one of Pakkun's ears and squee'd shrilly: a double whammy for the poor dog. Kakashi tried not to grin.

"Aw, he likes you Pakkun." he cooed obnoxiously. The dog shot him a dirty look.

"You're just lucky I'm so cute and cuddly." Pakkun replied snidely, while hunkering down and leaping about the delighted child. Obito seemed to have a natural instinct for moving with the dog, which was what Pakkun was taking an interest in as well. He would be a good tracker one day, once Kakashi had trained him up a bit.

It was a humbling thought.

"I need you to get a feel for his scent, too. Apparently he has a habit of running off."

"That's only when Naruto watches him." A soft voice chimed in behind him.

Kakashi felt his senses go into high alert as he turned slowly to find her standing in the doorway watching Obito play happily with Pakkun, a serene smile on her face. He hadn't even sensed her approach.

She was thinner than he remembered, almost gaunt in the hollows of her cheeks and the paleness of her skin, but she had never looked more beautiful to him. She was also dressed differently than he'd ever seen, but the jounin pants and kimono style top didn't concern him too much, though he did mourn the loss of so much bare skin.

He stood, and on instinct began walking toward her to gather her in his arms and twirl her around to hear her gentle laughter - as he had in so many of his daydreams, but stopped himself last minute, choosing instead just to stand near her with his hands in his pockets. He didn't know if she wanted him to gather her in his arms. Didn't know if she was angry, or even if she still wanted that sort of relationship with him anymore.

Her eyes turned to him then; still as green as the first new leaf of spring, and her smile remained in place as she ran her eyes over him with out saying a word.

Then she was in his arms with a flutter of long sleeves and pink hair, and the smell and feel of her was nearly enough to be his undoing. She squeezed him lightly, delicate fingers that he'd seen take out walls of solid rock and rent furrows in the ground nearly a mile long were clenched in the fabric at the back of his vest.

"I – " he started out softly, his breath fluttering through the soft strands of hair at the top of her head.

"Shh." She whispered against his neck. "We have time."

And there, he realized as he pulled her to him fully, was that indefinable spark that had endeared her to him so much to begin with.

God, had he ever felt so full before? Had anything ever felt like home the way this did, standing with her in the circle of his arms, her soft breath puffing against his neck?

She felt thinner though, more frail, which concerned him. Not just like she'd lost weight, but like she'd lost muscle tone too…like she'd been ill.

But she was there, and she wasn't angry, and she was holding onto him like she wanted to sink right in. He could have stayed like that forever.

But then the moment was broken.

Obito cried out in distress as Pakkun dragged him backward away from the koi pond by the back of his little shorts. Both adults had jumped to look after him, before turning back to one another. Sakura stepped away with a small, slightly abashed smile.

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way." She said quietly, moving to lean on the railing that overlooked the garden.

Obito, having already forgotten his quest to scoop the large shimmering Koi from the water, was now learning to chase his tail under Pakkun's careful tutelage.

She laughed softly when he wobbled drunkenly and tipped over. "I had no way of contacting you without jeopardizing the mission, and even if I could have I still wouldn't." She looked up at him defiantly, her eyes gleaming and fierce as always. "You couldn't afford any distractions."

His hand moved to cover hers on the smooth lacquered wood, squeezing gently. "Aa. You're right." He sighed in concordance. "I just – Sakura, I'm so - "

"I know." Her other hand was placed gently atop his. "It's ok."

They watched together as their son crawled through the grass chasing a grasshopper that was valiantly trying to escape his clutches.

A warm breeze slowly caressed the valley, sweeping over the top of the Hokage Mountain where the great keepers of the hidden leaf village still watched over their home. It ruffled the leaves in the trees and swayed the banners and signs hanging over doorways. It snapped the freshly laundered sheets like pennons of peace for their people…and it tussled the soft hair of the woman he loved.

"You cut your hair again."

She beamed up at him then, a playful look replacing the tired shadows lingering in her features. "Do you like it?"

Slowly, he pulled down his mask, his mouth already set in a smile. He let his hands sift through the short hair at the back of her hair before tugging gently at the longer fringe at the front.

"Aa. Its nice." He felt emboldened by the way she was reacting toward him, and surely as things were sure to change, some things were still very much the same.

Like the way her lips parted when his fingers stroked a slow line of fire from the curve of her jaw to her collarbone. And the way her head tilted back for him when his other hand moved to cradle the back of her head.

"I missed you." He conceded, pressing his lips softly, cautiously to hers. He knew the moment her lashes fluttered and settled on her cheeks that she was still his.

"I missed you, too."

There was a splash and a squeal, startling both adults, but it was only Pakkun who had inadvertently fallen into the pond while trying to distract the tot.

They both chuckled as the little dog pulled himself out, grumbling and shaking himself – and soaking a delighted Obito in the process.

"So what do you think of your son, Kakashi?" Sakura asked with a proud smile.

"I think…" he said seriously as the boy finally noticed his mother standing on the porch. A huge grin broke over the child's face, lighting it up like the sun. Kakashi felt a sensational pull in his chest and knew that he was already lost. "I think I'm still in shock, actually."

It was an honest answer. He'd never been able to lie to her – not about the important stuff. Not even when she was a still just a girl. It was much too new to label.

But she smiled and patted him consolingly on the arm. It was meant to be comforting, but the act was comical in its awkwardness and they both ended up laughing.

"It was a bit of a shock for me as well." She cut her eyes at him with a smirk before scooping her son into her arms.

"I can…imagine." He watched with an awed fascination as Sakura stepped onto the plush grass barefooted with her – their child in her arms.

The sun gleamed off Obito's hair as she spun him once before settling him on her hip and smiled at him in the way that mothers have smiled at their children through all of time. At that moment something clinked into place within him.

It was as if he'd finally found something he'd been looking for all his life that he hadn't even known he was missing.