March 22, 2011

Just a few clarifier's

Christian was just as unaware as Lissa about Rose being injured.

This is Rose's memories of her recent past, everything that led to her getting pregnant in the first place.

I will be getting back to the present with the next chapter. Your questions about the baby will be answered then.

Thank you to Rangarose for being my beta. Please read her story Life Changes Sometimes. It is really a great story. It is well thought out and has a lot of emotion in it.

Chapter 4: Why I Did It. Pt. 3

Since I got injured I have been too week to put up my walls. Lissa has had hers up to her normal capacity but it just takes the slightest charge of emotion to pull me into her head. Unfortunately this means that I have had to feel Lissa try to use sex as a means of comforting Christian. I can now say that I know Dimitri is better in the sack than Christian and I will never be able to look fire crotch in the eye again.

I felt the familiar sensation of getting pulled into Lissa's head once again.

Through Lissa's eyes

The Guardian's haven't allowed Christian to visit Tasha at all until today. I am nervous for him and vowed to be by his side. Walking up the steps of the guardian building I have a sinking feeling.

I wonder if Dimitri has gone to see her, probably not; he has been gone on personal business for a few days. I guess the stress of pushing Rose away again and then finding out his best friend tried to kill the queen has taken its toll. I hope he has gone to see his family, as we had been talking about.

I haven't seen Rose ether but after what happened I think she is off kicking the stuffing out of some Dummies in the gym. I really have been a bad friend by not going to find her. I know how much it probably crushed her to have him be so cruel. I understand why he did it though. Finding out that he had fangs and realizing that they only come out around Rose really freaked him out. I had tried to explain to him that he should talk to her about it. Rose doesn't like the high but she was willing to feed me for two years I bet if he needed blood she would not hesitate.

Christian wrapped one hand around my waist and held my hand with the other as we were escorted to the holding cells. He was trembling. We went past the last door accompanied by four Guardians. Tasha was rocking herself in a fetal position. She had a manic look in her eyes.

"Christian! I knew you would come. You have to get me out of here."

"Why Aunt Tasha, why did you do it? What would possess you to try to kill the Queen?" There were tears running freely down his face.

"I did it for Dimitri and the children we will have together. I can't let my babies go off to get killed at 16!"

"Dimitri loves someone else." I was as gentle as possible but she turned on me. I could see her aura light up then flicker. Christian must have felt her magic flare because he responded with a fire block.

"Don't lay a hand on her!"

"Then tell her it is useless to bring up that filthy bloodwhore. Even if she survived getting stabbed by her own stake I doubt that he likes his meat that well done." Tasha cackled. My mind went blank. I couldn't process anything she just said. I heard her scream out! "She used to call me scar face bitch but at least I have a face!"

I was being pulled along quite forcefully and we had gotten half way to the infirmary before it registered. Oh my God, it was Rose; Rose was the guardian that Tasha tried to kill! Tears began to roll down my cheeks blurring my vision. If not for Christian pulling me along, I would not have made it to the infirmary so fast.

He found out the room number and pulled me along. In the elevator I thought about all the times that I had tried to talk to her through the bond but she never called or text me in response. How many times over this past five days my crazy emotions have been on a roller-coaster, yet not once did she call to give me support let alone comfort Christian? He is like a brother to her and she cares about him so much yet she wasn't there for him. The only explanation for her absence was that she couldn't come. Oh God I hope she is alive. I will KILL Tasha myself if Rose is dead!

We burst into the room; I took a quick look around. Dimitri was asleep in the second bed. Adrian was sitting on a chair and I could tell he was in a deep sleep. I looked to the first bed. It couldn't be; I couldn't tell if it was Rose. The patient was dressed in gauze like a mummy from head to toe. I looked at the aura and saw the unmistakable shadows.

I ran to the bed not thinking to be careful; I sat down and placed my hands on her. Her eyes popped open and she screamed out in pain. Before I knew it I was ripped away from her. Dimitri held me in a vice like grip while Adrian approached me trying to calm me as I fought to go back and heal her. Christian stood there horror struck by the sight of Rose.

Back in Rose's head

"Liss, Liss it is ok you can heal me just be very careful." I whispered weakly. Dimitri let her go and she walked up to me slowly. I closed my eyes when she sat on the bed. The smallest movements hurt. She placed her hands on my torso and chest. I felt her summon spirit and channel it into me. The pain began to ease slowly. The pain in my chest however remained even after the rest was near gone.

The nurse, who had come running in when she heard my cries of pain, stood by and watched my monitors. When Lissa was done healing me she sagged and it was Christian who carried her to the bed that Dimitri had been sleeping on. The nurse left but returned shortly with a Doctor and a feeder. She scolded Lissa and Christian for coming into my room without first putting on a mask, gloves and a paper gown. The feeder went to Lissa's bed and as soon as she had been fed, Lissa looked much better.

"I am afraid I need at least you men to leave the room, I need to examine Guardian Hathaway to see how much the Princess was able to heal."

"I want to stay." Dimitri looked over at me with pleading eyes.

"Sit on the other bed but close the curtain." I could see that he was about to protests but I gave him a glare. He sighed and went to the other bed closing the curtain around him. Adrian wrapped an arm around Christian and led him out of the room.

The doctor started with my lower body; carefully cutting the gauze away. The burned skin was still there but it was easy to see that underneath was new skin. Using saline and fresh gauze the doctor washed a portion of skin. I felt no pain and the old, burnt skin came off with little effort. It was light and pink like baby skin and there was little evidence of my natural tan. She continued all the way up. Lissa began sobbing when she realized how badly I had been burned.

I really didn't know the extent of my burns till I heard the doctor say that it looked like I would be able to keep all my fingers. It felt strange having someone slowly expose my body. When the doctor reached the patch of gauze that covers my stab wound Lissa gasped. I looked down to find that I still had a wound, though it had been closed with stitches. The skin around the stab wound was still burned. Lissa instinctively reached out touching it lightly; I could feel her magic flow to me but the pain didn't go away in the slightest. I asked Lissa to leave it for now; reluctantly she did.

The Doctor redressed the wound and then continued taking off the rest of the gauze. Thankfully the skin on my neck and face looked light and pink the way the rest of my body did. My hair was only short stubble but I guess I am lucky to have any hair. Augh I think I will never forget the smell of my hair and flesh burning. The Doctor gave me a gown and told me I could talk with my friends for a while but she would send a nurse in to take me to the showers.

I spend several tense minutes with Lissa trying to explain to her why I wouldn't let anyone tell her I was Injured. Christian was hurt with me for not telling him either. I was surprised that he refused to go back to see his aunt. Instead he and Lissa stayed at my side with Adrian and Dimitri. Lissa was happy to see that Dimitri and I had begun to work things out.

I still had the infection but since I was not one continuous, open wound Dr. Levikova said that my visitors no longer had to be gowned up but they were to wear gloves and wash their hands upon entering and exiting my room. I was well enough to eat so Adrian ordered an extra-large pepperoni pizza and meat lovers supreme to be sent to my room. To my surprise, but even more to Christian and Lissa's; Tatiana came with a batch of fresh made brownies. Tatiana didn't stay but she said it was a token of appreciation for saving her life.

That night Adrian left to stay with his Aunt but Lissa, Christian and Dimitri refused to leave. Honestly I did feel better with them there. I wished Adrian would have stayed but he promised to dream walk with me so I didn't mind so much. Liss and Chris took the second bed in the room. The Dr gave me permission to have Dimitri in my bed but he had to be fully gloved and fitted in scrubs with a mask. We were not to share a blanket and no funny business; like I would do that with Liss and Chris in the room. It was nice to sleep next to Dimitri.

I woke to the sound of people talking. When I opened my eyes I saw the smiling face of Oksana, behind her stood Mark.

"Good Morning, I see that part of my work has been done for me. How are you feeling?' She whispered softly. I was still to tired to really answer but she didn't seem to really need one.

Dimitri was still asleep with his arm wrapped around me. He must have really been exhausted not to wake up when they came in. When Oksana spoke he tightened his grip on me and nuzzled his face closer in my neck. Both of them smiled at us.

"I am glad to know that the story we were told was true, and you were able to save him." She narrowed her eyes at him for a moment and he let go of me to scratch his head then rewrapped his arm around me.

"Hmm, that is strange; the story didn't say anything about that?" Mark whispered in her ear.

"No but remember what she said about fate having a purpose that we do not yet see, and for this he will be more than before and all that he is will be for her?"

"Ksoni, you know I don't understand most of the things that old woman says. I guess we will have to wait and see."

Mark then turned to me. "Rose we are going to get something to eat and then we will be back. Take your time and let your friends wake up when they are ready"

After another hour of snuggling in Dimitri's arms I woke up again. This time I felt Dimitri gently running his fingers up and down my arm. I sighed in contentment as he whispered "Good Morning Love" into my ear.

Soon Lissa and Christian woke up and decided to change and hit the feeders so that she would be at full strength. She wanted to try to heal me one more time before letting Oksana try. She was very excited to meet the other spirit wielder I had told her about.

When Oksana and Mark came back all my friends were back in my room. I had to have all the men leave the room so that I could have the Nurse expose the stab wound without exposing my right breast. Oksana let Lissa try to heal it but it didn't change in the slightest. She asked me again what I was stabbed with. When I said it was my stake she gasped.

"Rose, you shouldn't be alive!"

"It didn't get my heart."

"I know but you said you were on fire? The heat of the fire would have intensified the charms causing all the remaining magic to be used on you. The stake is an instrument of death. You should have died. I don't think I will be able to heal it on my own. Can we call the other spirit wielder, Adrian, in here to help us?"

"Yes but if you let him in you will have to let Dimitri, Christian and Eddie in too."

Once all of them were in my room she explained again why I should have died and that I would need the power of Lissa, Adrian and Oksana to heal me. Lissa put her hand over the wound while Adrian and Oksana both put a hand on her shoulders. Dimitri held me from behind and I could feel his love for me. The intensity of spirit began to overwhelm me. My chest felt like fire and ice. Slowly the wound closed leaving a slightly puckered patch of skin about an inch in diameter. My once beautiful breast was now marked with the evidence that one again I survived death.

After a while Lissa moved her hand from my wound to my head. The fire and Ice burned my scalp but when they were done I could feel hair tickle the back of my neck and shoulders. Dimitri pressed his cheek against my head and sighed. His hand began to stroke it.

"It is even softer and silkier than before. Like baby hair." His deep voice purred.

"Hey Rosie your hair is a bit on the curly side. It makes you look a bit more like your mom but in a good way."

"Thanks Fire Crotch." I still have trouble looking him in the eye after what I experienced through the bond.

~~*O*~~

Once my blood tests came back clear of infection, I was free to go. Instead of going to my tiny little studio apartment, Adrian brought me and Dimitri to a new condo. There was a bouquet of three dozen roses in a variety of colors: red, pink, cream, yellow, orange, and lavender; sitting in the middle of the coffee table. I picked up the card.

~o~O~o~

"Dear Rosemarie

Thank you for saving my life and that of the special person I spoke to you about. I want you and Dimitri to have this apartment. You will be Guarding Lissa soon as the assignments are announced and Dimitri will be assigned to the court. Good luck

Queen Tatiana.

~o~O~o~

"My Aunt wanted to thank you for being there when she needed you most. She told me that this condo is her gift to you and to Dimitri for having trained you."

"That was extremely nice of her." Dimitri exclaimed.

Adrian and I said our good byes and he left Dimitri and I alone.

Over the next few weeks Dimitri and I settled into a comfortable life together. The relationship was still illegal because we are both Dhampirs. To try and help, Tatiana proposed to lift the ban on Dhampir relationships and marriages as well as making marriages between Moroi and Dhampir acceptable, so that Oksana and Mark would not have to live in shame for the choice they made.

Of course the men on the counsel and some of the woman didn't agree. Their fear was that if Dhampirs could have exclusive relationships with their own kind they might stop having sex with Moroi. Also if they have exclusive relationships there would be less Dhampirs conceived.

Much to Tatiana's dislike a compromise was made. Dhampirs could have relationships with each other and even marry so long as one or both partners remain open to having relations with a Moroi till they produce a child. Once at least one child has been born they were free to be exclusive.

If a Moroi could prove that a Dhampir refused a sexual encounter because of the desire to be faithful to a Dhampir partner or if the Dhampir partner had purposefully prevented such relations from occurring then the offending partner would be sent to prison for five years.

The age decree was postponed by four years so that the Academies could use that time to prepare the Novices to graduate at 16. The Idea still turned my stomach but at least I knew that it turned Tatiana's just as much.

Around this time Adrian decided that I had been right about needing his own space. His cousin Sasha is using the house he inherited from his 'Grandmother' Rebekka so he rented a condo in a building near ours.

Dimitri and I had been together for nearly six months and even though I knew that there were times when Dimitri's fangs were extended and he thirst for me he never asked or tried to drink from me. It was apparent early on that he really didn't need blood to survive but I could feel his yearning sometimes. To be honest I didn't want the weakness that came with the blood loss or the high, but there was an inherent intimacy about giving blood that I desired. One day I decided to broach the subject with him. We sat together in front of the fireplace looking into each other's eyes and holding hands.

"Dimitri, do you look down on your mother for letting your father drink from her?"

"No, I don't. I do look down on him for taking advantage of her that way."

"Did you know I had a conversation with Olena about it once when I was there?"

"No I didn't, what did she tell you?" I sighed and tried to remember her exact words.

"She said; and I'm trying to use her exact words, as I remember them. I know Dimitri's father did many horrible things to me but I know that deep in him was a good and loving man. I loved the man inside of him; his true self that had been crushed by so much childhood pain. He was not so bad the first few years. It wasn't till after he almost lost his mother to Strigoi that he really changed to someone dark and twisted. Anyway you asked if I was ashamed of giving blood to my lover, when you give blood to someone you love, it is a wonderful feeling. When it is your partner and you give blood during sex it is so much more meaningful. There is a sense of giving and receiving at the same time. As you know a man leaves some of his essence in you when you make love, when you give him your blood you are doing the same for him. Yes there is still the high but even without the high I would have fed him."

"Wow she really said that?" I smiled at him and nodded.

"Remember when Lissa and I were away for those two years. I fed her every day or two. She is my best friend, sister, and bond mate; I love her and I do have to admit that though it wasn't a romantic kind of love I can understand what your mom was talking about. It felt good to know I was giving my friend something that she needed to be healthy and happy. I hated the high and the weakness of blood loss mostly because I needed to be strong to protect her."

"But how did you feel about me when I held you captive?"

"I hated that you were using it to keep me weak both body and mind. I missed you so much and kissing you beforehand was wonderful as long as I fooled myself into thinking you were you. I guess you could say I didn't like it because it was something done to manipulate me and it was not my choice. I got addicted to the endorphine high but that is not the same as really sharing intimacy like your mother described."

"Do you hate me for it?"

"No, you were not you."

"I still have the desire for your blood. Even now that we are talking about it I can feel my fangs. Roza how can you not hate me."

"Dimitri, Love, how could you expect me to hate the man I love with all my heart? Don't you see that even when you were a Strigoi, I loved you? You could turn into a purple alien and I would love you. I give to you everything I am; everything that has made me who I am, and everything I will become. I am yours heart, body and soul. Do you love me enough to give me all of you? I want you, everything you are, including the part of you that desire's my blood."

"Do you know what you are saying?"

"Yes I do."

I kissed both his hands and brought them to the buttons of my uniform shirt. We kissed as we slowly undressed each other. He kissed my neck teasing me with his fangs. We stayed kissing and caressing for a long while, rejoicing in the feel of being in each other's arms, feeling our skin brush against each other. The energy that we have always felt when we touch practically crackled around us. When Dimitri made us one I moaned as he breathed my name. He moved over me in a meaningful way, showing me with every stroke that he loved me more than anything. He kissed the scar above my breast where Tasha had staked me. When I was close to reaching my climax he kissed my neck tenderly before sinking his fangs into me. The sensation that burst forth the moment my blood flowed into him was more than enough to bring us both over the edge. He didn't take much blood but it was enough for me to know that this is what lovemaking is supposed to be; at least it is for us. Funny thing was that I didn't get the high like I did from Lissa or from him when he was Strigoi. Still, I felt like I was addicted to his bite…. No, that isn't the right description… I guess I have to say that I was meant for his bite; and he was meant for my blood.

I felt so complete and happy after that. Dimitri and I made love again before falling asleep content in each other's arms. The next morning Dimitri was already working his early shift when I woke up. I took great care to cover my beautiful bite mark with one of the scarves that Abe gave me. I was starved and I must have eaten to fast because I threw up everything. I took some green tea and dry toast before leaving for my shift. On my way there I heard a familiar voice behind me.

"So if it isn't Hathaway, is it true you and Belikov are an item?" I turned around to see Jessie Zeklos.

"My life is none of your business Zeklos."

"Oh but it is sweet thing, it is. I wanted you and he stopped me from having you. From what I understand I can have him arrested for interfering with us procreating."

My stomach fell. Oh God, I never thought anyone would go after Dimitri.

"It wouldn't have happened. I had no plans on having sex with you. Not then not ever."

"I really hope you will reconsider. I think that you should. After all I was just on my way to tell the counsel but if you could see it in your heart to change your mind I might keep it to myself. I will even give you two weeks to think about it." Jessie walked away before I could even react.

I pushed my thoughts to the back of my mind. Lissa, her other guardians and I were going to Lehigh and I needed my mind in the game. Eddie and Lissa sent me lots of concerned looks but I didn't tell them what was bothering me because I needed to focus. I didn't tell any of my usual gang, instead I confided in Mikhail Tanner. I didn't want to involve Dimitri in this yet; I couldn't let him worry about going to prison when he spent time incarcerated when he was first returned to Dhampir.

My time was not yet up when Jessie approached me again.

"I am getting impatient Rose, I want a decision."

"No, this happened a long time ago before the decree was passed."

"They never said it had to be current, and I have witnesses and signed affidavits. You have just pissed me off so now I am going to the counsel." He ran off and since we were in public I could do nothing to stop him.

Apparently the Zeklos Prince agreed with his cousin Jessie. He even suggested that I should be held accountable for Dimitri refusing Tasha's offer to Guard her and have children with her. Tatiana tried to stall the arrest by debating that this was retroactive and the law should only apply to current situations only. She also sent Guardian Tanner who she knew is a good friend of mine to warn me and advised me to find someone I could tolerate and get pregnant quick so that I could protect both myself and Dimitri. That is when I went to Adrian.

Pop Quiz

1. Why do you think it took so long for Lissa to understand that Tasha had been talking about Rose when she was explaining why she tried to kill Tatiana and the Guardian.

2. what do you think Oksana and Mark saw when she brushed Dimitri's mind?

3. Do you think Christian ever spoke to Tasha before her and the guy helping her were executed?

4. How do you think Tatiana felt about how things turned out?

Me:Please Review.

Tatiana: As Queen, I Order you to review.

Tasha's Ghost: Don't Review, Snowgoose doesn't deserve it, She gave Dimitri to that blood whore and let me get executed.

Dimitri and Rose: Shut up and burn in hell Tasha. Readers, please review.