Later that evening I was sitting in the room set aside for me by Steve while he had gone for a run before we headed out, I headed downstairs and found his dad's old piano in the drawing room and after a quick tune up, I sat down and started to play a favourite song. Thankfully I had a good voice and was a decent player and started to sing along to Evanescence, I wrapped myself in the music, relaxing my chest muscles and feeling the strain go out of the scars in my back that always tightened up when I was angry. The music flowed through the house and I was unaware of anything else for the next couple of minutes. It was really the only time I could relax, listening to music, getting the emotional baggage off my shoulders and blowing off the stress…..
"That was amazing Sarah!" said a voice behind me.
Spinning around in the chair I faced Kono and went red, she stood forward and I stood up and came around from the piano; she had her phone out and I could see she was still on a call.
"The caller is going to be pissed that you're talking to me and not them…and the music is nothing, just a little stress relief." I replied nodding to her phone.
"It's Steve, he's going to meet us at the beach bar….." she started.
The glass of water I had been holding suddenly smashed against the wall the second I heard the word 'beach' and I stared at the broken glass, blood and spilt water on the wall. Kono mobilised immediately and grabbed a cloth for my hand. I could hear the person on the phone shout for Kono to find out what had happened. I stared at my hand; I didn't even know what I had done?
"Kono, I'm not really great for tonight….maybe I shouldn't spoil your evening…." I said wincing at the glass sticking in my hand.
"Don't be silly, why you smash the glass Sarah?" she replied calmly.
"Twitchy reflexes probably, you get them playing the piano," I replied quickly.
Both of us turned around at the tire squeals on the tarmac and the sound of running up the gravel driveway, suddenly Steve came running into the house and stared at us both; he immediately clocked the blood over my shirt and arms and came over to check the wounds, pulling me into him and checking my pulse since the wrist wound was an open bleeder.
"That's two injuries in one day Sarah, what the hell's got into you? We need to get you to the hospital." He said tourniqueting my wrist since it was slashed by the glass.
He barely laid his hand on my back and I spun round and went rigid, shaking him off and ran upstairs, Kono looked at Steve and shook her head.
"She was fine when I came in, better than fine as she was singing and playing the piano to the radio, I mentioned to her we would meet you at the beach bar and next thing was the glass was smashed and she went white as a ghost and her eyes. Something is wrong, do you know what, and did the call get through to Bastion?" Kono replied concerned.
"I'm waiting on the call later tonight due to time zones. I'll get her sorted then meet you at the beach bar. Hopefully she might come clean about a few things once relaxed enough." He replied all his senses heightened.
"Do you think it's a good idea for her to be coming tonight? No offence Steve but she is really rattled about something and the way she reacted to the message from you…." Kono started.
"Probably not, but I can't leave her alone if she needs help. I'm hoping this isn't what I think it is, if so, her old CO has a lot of explaining to do!" he continued.
An hour later after arguing I didn't need to go to the hospital, I had been dragged out the house and driven to the ER and was having my knuckles and hand x-rayed and glass pulled out of my hand and wrist stitched back up. The doctors had taken blood, probably thought I was a suicide attempt due to the injury. While I sat and handed the tools to the doctor, Steve was called out the room.
He walked along the corridor towards the small doctor's room and took the clipboard from the surgeon; looking over it he winced and looked up as the doctor began discussing the findings.
"There are lots of medications in her system, antibiotics, painkillers – too many different kinds for her injuries, and anti-rejection meds too. Her blood work is a serious mess and I'm not surprised she is having difficulties controlling her temper as it's a side effect of insomnia mixed with the meds." He informed Steve quietly.
Steve just looked at him confused and then at the screen holding all the information available since the request to transfer arrived.
"Doc, I've only seen her take one morphine tablet today and I checked her bags and the only thing in it was vitamins, surely for a few scrapped knuckles that are okay. Sleep I can't say anything about as she just arrived today from the UK, Jet lag is a possibility." Steve replied.
The doctor shook his head and motioned to the computer screen, typing up a command he brought my medical file and motioned towards the medications that weren't healthcare prescribed.
"She has a serious problem, part of her medical file is still missing from the USAF, but she has been transferred to the USAMH for specialised treatment as requested by her CO in Bastion. That is protocol for people with serious injuries in combat; are you aware of anything I should be made aware of, these tests have given me the right to keep her under a mental health section."
Steve looked horrified and shook his head. He explained he was aware something had happened but wanted this controlled by him, and agreed if it went too far then he would bring me back under controlled sedation and act as my guardian.
By the time he and the doctor arrived back I was all sorted and ready for a beer since they had been a bit stingy with the pain relief, getting off the stretcher I wobbled and stretched my shoulders out. Heading out towards the car I saw the clock and saw it was still early for meeting up at the bar.
"Drop me at home Steven, I'm going to crash on the couch tonight, kind of ruined your night anyhow." I said gasping slightly over a rough patch on the road.
He kept his eyes on the road and then handed me a bag with a clean change of clothes for me and drove onto the highway. I stared at him and then sighed.
"I'm not really in the mood to go out tonight McGarrett, you got your way with the hospital but unless it's a free bar I'm going to crash on the couch." I said as I stared out the window.
Suddenly he pulled into the hard shoulder and turned to face me, he was seriously pissed off and to be honest so was I! Staring at him full in the eyes I saw he was not going to budge a damn inch.
"Let me tell you something! You have been on this island for little over 12 hours now. You haven't yawned, eaten or even relaxed apart from when Kono says you were playing the piano. The doctor took blood on my request….."
"You requested him to take blood….what for?" I demanded incensed.
"To find out why you have been acting oddly. Do you want to start explaining the multiple painkillers in your system?" he demanded.
"Hurt hand Steve, Diclofenac, paracetamol and Ibuprofen are not illegal and the perfect remedy to solve the issue." I said back seething.
"And the morphine, Ketamine, Codeine….hell even the cannabis?" he shouted.
"Not your concern Commander, how I deal with pain is my affair and not yours!" I shouted back getting out of the car and heading along the hard shoulder.
I could hear Steve mutter something and follow me out along the road, he grabbed my elbow and spun me around to face him; he was seriously pissed off, near enough the same as me and all I really wanted to do was kick him hard where it would do him some good…..
He grabbed me again by both elbows and pulled me into his body, giving me shelter from the other drivers going past us, I laxed slightly into his hold and prepared to run if needed, disable if necessary. He looked me straight in the eyes and shook me slightly, I looked up and saw his concern.
"You need to come clean Sarah, we need you here…I need you here! Your medical records are sealed…what happened during that mission that you're not telling us…does your CO even know what really happened? Your health is in serious risk if this behaviour continues and I don't want you hurt!"
His honesty ripped a hole through the barriers around my heart and I gasped very quietly, he caught the small noise and held me tighter, knowing I could run and possibly get injured if I went the wrong way.
"I'm dealing with it….it complicated and personal….you understands what it's like to be SEAL….the team loyalty…." I started then stopped suddenly.
His frown deepens and I see a wave of fear go across his eyes, he must suspect something?
"SEAL? Team loyalty? What the hell were you involved in overseas?" he demanded.
Typical timing and his phone went off with Danny calling to find out where we were, we would be five minutes and to get a jug of water for us both, he glared me down badly when I demanded a beer instead and I sulked in the seat once I was dragged back to the car. Arriving at the beach bar I sighed, took a deep breath, kicked him in the shin and walked off towards the rest of the team.
"HEY! There she is, how's the hand?" asked Kono and Chin.
"Oh alright, bad reflexed to knuckle injury, a couple of stitches no big issues! How's the beer here?" I asked eyeing up the bottles collected in the ice bucket.
"You'll just have to find out in a week or so, no alcohol for you!" said a very annoyed McGarrett.
Danny just sat back and stared at me and McGarrett, he knew something was up….damn it!
Staring at him I snatched my glass of water instead and toasted the group's health and success, we all got talking about how everyone met, developed the team and some of the choicer memories of past cases. When Chin asked how we had met, it was me who swooped in and explained before Steve could censor what came out.
"Oh it was roughly four years ago, southern Iraq, I had just qualified as a medic and was given the honour of pulling out a bullet out this asshats back, he got himself shot; think the navy forgot to teach him how to duck with a big head! So, I had the great delight at pulling his ass out of the firing zone and making sure his 'parts' still worked once the slug was out. Think that covers it Steve don't you?" I said smirking.
He glared at me from across the table and his knuckles went white against the surface.
The cousins could sense the anger between us and said nothing while Danny choked on his beer and coughed.
"Oh Steve, this one is a keeper…..she called you an asshat!" Danny laughed.
"I heard, and it was her ONE free pass, don't forget I'm your boss McGregor! And I can make your life hell." He said through clenched teeth.
Standing up, I grabbed a couple of beers and leaned over him.
"You already did….the damn day I met you and every day after for the choice I made after the talks we had…..so go to hell and shove your job up your ass if your head can make space!"
Storming off, I barely noticed that the table was silent, along with a portion of the bar, Danny looked at Steve and he shook his head, basically telling him that he would explain later if needed.
"Now would be a good time to contact Joe and her old commanding officer, cause she is becoming erratic and very temperamental; I've seen these symptoms before in cops," he whispered to Steve.
"Yeah, me too in SEALS." He replied dialling his phone.