"I would like to
Find a way to open to you
Been a while, don't know if I remember how to
I'm here waiting on the edge
Would I be alright showing myself to you
It's always been so hard to do"

Chapter 4: Stray (Steve Conte)

"Maybe I'm a different breed, maybe I'm not listening. Blame it on my ADD baby…" I sing as the warm shower water cascades over my naked body. Blood is still running off of me in rivulets, although I think the majority of what's left is in my hair. "Sail…" I murmur the last bit as I put my head back into the shower spray. A tide of red water runs down to pool around the drain. I smile at it, still on a high from my kill.

I pour some liquid body wash on my hand, and switch to a new song. "God Almighty, look at that body. Flickers like a sticker on a new Ferrari…" I lather up the mesh sponge and start with my arms, scrubbing vigorously. "She's a scene from a Baywatch rerun…" Next comes my torso and toned stomach, then I reach behind to wash my lower back and ass. "Hotter than a barrel on a squeezed machine gun…" I finish with my legs, and I hear the squeaky hinges of the bathroom door as it opens. I move under the spray again and begin rinsing off.

"Takai?" I ask, when no greeting is immediately given. Silence. I glare at the flimsy curtain, and poke my head out, but all I can see is the metal door of the shower stall. "Takai, you're not funny." I huff, sticking my head back under the spray to start washing my hair. I have started washing my hair, when my shower stall bangs open, making me jump a mile high. I quickly rinse my hair, on alert.

"This isn't funny Takai. It's like a bad scene from a horror movie." I growl at the tall shape I can vaguely see through the plastic shower curtain. When I still don't get a reply, I poke my head out, ready to start yelling only to 'eep' in surprise.

"Damnit! Gaara, you're such a creeper!" I screech, reaching out and grabbing my towel. I turn the shower off and wrap up in the white fluffy towel, and step out, glaring at the red haired shinobi. "What the hell are you doing in the lady's bathroom anyways?" I growl as I storm by, grabbing my clothes and moving to another stall to get dressed.

"Who's blood was that?" He asks in a monotone through the stall door.

I quickly yank up my underwear and pull my sports bra over my head. I had three days to relax, so that meant I was going to dress in jammies. "A rain shinobi's." I say as I yank up green plaid jammy bottoms. I twist the towel in my hair and open the stall door. Gaara is standing on the other side, his arms crossed. "Why the hell do you care anyways?"

"How did you kill him?"

I raise a brow at Gaara. "I tore his heart out of his chest." I say.

"Did it feel good to kill him?"

"You are seriously weird. But since you already know, Houkou was thrilled. It felt good to him. It was just a 'meh' for me. Gobi tends to be a little… theatrical."

"You don't love the feeling of being god over someone?" Gaara asks seriously.

"Ok, really? No. I don't love ending a life. I kill out of necessity, but I didn't like this guy, so I let Gobi have some fun. Now get out of the lady's restroom." I say, arms crossed as I glare at the red head.

"I kill to prove my existence." Gaara says, as if it's a treat for answering his questions.

I look at the guy, I mean really look at him. He was completely serious, his blank eyes studying my face. I wondered which reaction he was looking for. "Killing doesn't prove an existence. It just proves that you're a killer." I say. "Killing someone to prove your existence has seriously got to be the most fucked up thing I've ever heard."

Gaara scowls at me and the cork in his gourd comes out with a squeak and a soft 'pop'. Sand starts sliding out, circling malevolently around my body. "Mother says your blood will taste sweet." He states.

"Uh, hello? Houkou won't let me die. He'll just restore me to being fighting fit." I say, non-plussed by his macho-like behavior. I roll my eyes when the sand just closes in on me. "Ja. Ne." I growl out, disappearing in a cloud of smoke and reappearing in me and my teammate's room.

I lean over and vigorously dry my hair with the towel I had attached to my head earlier. I flip my head up and stalk over to the vanity and angrily tear through the snarls in my blonde hair.

"What's got your panties in a bunch?" Takai asks, as she eyes me over her JTHM comic.

"Stupid Gaara thought it would be fun to accost me in the bathroom." I grind out, ruthlessly tying my hair into two low ponytails.

"What did he do?" Takai asks, putting away her comic to come stand behind me.

"Asked me a bunch of stupid questions. That guy has issues." I shake my head to clear it, after tossing the brush onto the vanity. "He wanted to know if I liked killing, if being the god over someone as I decide their fate feels good." I turn to face Takai, who looks at me curiously. "You know I don't. Remember my first kill? I cried for nearly a week."

"Sensei trained that out of you."

"It still doesn't take away the guilt. I may seem like I enjoy it, but it's mostly Gobi who likes that sort of thing. I escape by giving him power over my emotions."

Takai puts her hand on my shoulder for comfort and I snuggle against her. Very rarely do the two of us show affection for the other like this, but we can always sense when the other needs more support than normal. Takai takes me over to the bed and tucks me in before sliding in on the other side. I snuggle against her back as a silent tear for the man I killed escapes.

I glare at the spot where Kira had been a moment before. How does she know the teleportation jutsu already?

You use a teleportation jutsu. The voice in my head points out. I glare at the raccoon as he shuffles around in his loose restraints.

Shut up. I stalk out of the bathroom, following the little zing I can feel in the back of my head. I soon find her room and peak through the open door. She is snuggled against her female teammate, her face pressed against Takai's back. I listen intently and hear a small sniffle, which is closely followed by another.

You're asking for trouble… But I can't deny how sweet she smells…

I ignore the voice, and move away from the doorframe. I hear movement from the room and peek in again. Takai is glaring at me and Kira is sitting up, tears streaming down her face. She looks up, sees me, and looks away. I glare at her and stalk away. I had no tolerance for crybabies.

It's your own damn fault you know.

I told you never to come into my head again! I yell at the white wolf. He glares at me and growls for me to shut up.

She's crying because of you. She has never once enjoyed killing, and you marching in and spouting off about feeling like a god when you have a person's fate in your control reminded her of how terrified the guy was. Gobi stops his tirade long enough to show me visions of the battle, and I was forced to watch as Kira's wicked canines tore through the man's flesh, as she reached in and plucked out his heart, as she crushed the heart with her foot. And then the feeling of guilt washed over me in a powerful tidal wave. Every time she kills, she lets me take the wheel. Because her guilt in the aftermath is one hundred times worse when she is the one actually doing the killing. She is not a heartless killer, and I would never force her to become one. You need to change. I can feel your interest in her, your curiosity. If you want to sate your curiosity, you need to become a better person. And the first thing you need to do, is stop listening to Shukaku. With that the wolf is gone, and I'm left to my own thoughts.

The next morning I feel bright and chipper again. I fling the covers off my body, throw on some deodorant and saunter out into the hall, my nose leading me down to the kitchens. My mouth waters as I open each door of the three fridges, finding something tastier in each fridge. I finally settle on a raw steak and set the oven to broil. I find a broiler pan and toss the steak on it. Next I find some oil, salt, and pepper. With a fork I prick the steak all over, then add a splash of oil over the top, spreading it around. Next I take the sea salt grinder and sprinkle it over the top of my steak, followed by the pepper from the pepper grinder.

I sniff out an onion and then I find a knife, carrying both over to the metal table smack dab in the middle of the room. I chop up half the onion, then dance my way across the room and get a sauté pan. I rummage in one of the fridges again and pull out some butter. I set the pan on the stove, setting the temperature to high before plopping a dollop of butter in the pan.

I open the stove and toss in my steak, and set the old fashioned spin timer for five minutes. By now the butter has started sizzling in the sauté pan and I toss in the onions, still dancing my way about the kitchen. A laugh behind me gets my attention and I whip around, the knife I used to chop the onion brandished high.

I glare at the man standing in the doorway, and then recognition registers. "You're Gaara's brother, right?"

"Kankuro." He nods, smiling as his eyes rake up and down my body appreciatively. "I wasn't expecting anyone to be up yet."

"I'm a morning person." I say as I turn back to the onions. I lift the pan up and flip the onions around, then set it back on the heat. The timer dings loudly and I look around frantically for oven mitts. I finally find a pair and take my steak out of the oven. The oil sizzles hotly in the catch pan as I set it on the counter. Using the knife I hadn't put down, I flip the thick steak and then toss it back in. I set the timer for another five minutes, then toss the onions once more.

"Steak and onions for breakfast?" Kankuro asks, raising a brow at me.

"Hey, I like my protein. Plus I'm having a craving, which means I'm going to be visited by Aunt Flow soon." I say, then giggle when I catch sight of Kankuro's face.

"That's just too much…" Kankuro says, miming a puking gesture.

"Hey, you asked. As my father used to say, I have no class."

"Used to say?" Kankuro asks.

"It's none of your business." I say darkly, glaring.

"Okay, okay. Would you—." Kankuro breaks off as Gaara brushes in past him, and I glare at the red head.

"I'm mad at you." I say, turning my back on him pointedly. I feel Gaara glaring at me, and I smile at him sinisterly. "Next time you want to ask me questions about killing, don't accost me in the bathroom, while I'm in the shower." I bare my fangs at the red head, and he gives me an icy stare before rummaging in one of the fridges.

I glance over at Kankuro, his jaw on the floor as he looks between me and Gaara. I shrug at him, and then nearly jump out of my skin as the timer goes off again. I rush to put the oven mitts back on and I pull my sizzling steak out of the oven. "Yes, steak…" I whisper to myself, throwing my steak and some onions on a plate.

I settle at the metal table and dig in. The steak melts in my mouth and I can't help moaning in pleasure. My steak was perfect, medium-rare, just like I liked. And the onions were sweet and buttery, only serving to enhance the flavor of my steak more.

Gaara plops down in a seat across from me, a bowl of cereal in front of him. I raise an eyebrow at him, then look at Kankuro, who is staring at his brother like he has two heads.

"Are you going to come eat Kankuro?" I ask. "I'll share my steak, just grab a plate."

"Uh… sure…" Kankuro still seems astounded as he takes a seat next to me and I cut my steak in half. I plop his half on the plate he brought over, then get up and get the onions and spoon the rest onto his plate.

"Oh, and next time you come to Konoha, try not to pick on the Third's grandson." I say as I take a seat next to him. "Naruto won't like it, and trust me, you don't want to piss the kid off, especially now that he's learning… well, never mind." I say, smiling sweetly before tucking back into my meal.

"What's so special about the loudmouth?" Kankuro asks, eyeing me questioningly.

"Well, let's just say… he's like me."

"What does that mean?"

"Ask your brother." I say, giving Gaara a knowing look. His eyes register slight surprise as he spoons some cereal into his mouth.

"Gaara?" Kankuro asks, looking questioningly at his brother.

"…" Gaara stares at Kankuro, blinking slowly, before getting up and putting his empty bowl in the sink. "I would like to speak with you later, in private." Gaara says to me, before leaving the kitchen.

"What crawled up his ass and died?" I ask sarcastically.

"He could kill you, you know. Don't piss him off." Kankuro says to me.

I roll my eyes at the guy. "I can't die."

"That's ridiculous. Everyone can die."

"Everyone except me, Takai, Naruto and Gaara." I say, hoping he gets the point. Kankuro just stares at me quizzically. I sigh and shake my head. "You'll find out soon enough, I suppose." I say as I bring my dishes to the sink.

"What do you four have in common?" Kankuro asks, looking truly dumbfounded.

"Think about it long and hard. I'm sure you'll figure it out." I giggle as I leave the room.

I scratched my head as I surveyed the kitchen. According to the guy sitting at the table, Kira had been here earlier, but had left just moments ago, chasing after his brother he assumed. "What's so special about your brother?" I ask as I find some waffles and pop them into a toaster.

"I have no idea. The last thing she said was that she was like my brother and then took off. I can't see how they're alike though." The guy in the black jumpsuit shrugs, then returns to his steak and onions.

"Steak for breakfast?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"Kira made it."

"That explains a lot actually. Eating meat is in her nature. She couldn't be a vegetarian even if she tried." I say, closing my eyes and nodding my head.

"So how come she's being so nice to her opponents, you too for that matter?"

"Well, I'm a medic nin, so being nice and calm is part of my training. Kira just has a kind heart in general. Although she's slowly losing that kindness the older she gets…"

"How's that?"

"Let's just say that she has a friend who has a lot of influence on her personality. She's great at pretending to be tough, but the toughness she tries to exude is slowly taking over." I grab my waffle and tear into it without any syrup. "Well, have a good day." I say, raising a hand in farewell as I leave the kitchen.

I find Gaara in an abandoned rec room, and plop down on a bean bag chair. He ignores me for a minute, then walks over to stand by me. "Why don't you like to kill?"

"Well, because killing for no reason is wrong. The only reason I killed that rain nin was because he was going to kill me if I didn't kill him first. Why do you like to kill so much?" I ask, rolling onto my stomach on the bean bag and folding my arms under my head.

"When I was a child, my Uncle tried to kill me, on the order of my father, the Kazekage."

My eyes bug out of my head as I stare at the red head. "You're father put a hit out on you?" I whisper.

"Yes. It was then that I realized that I will never be loved, and I have to love myself. And I love only myself. I have no love for my father, my brother or my sister. They are an annoyance. And so because I have to love myself I kill to prove my existence. How do you prove your existence?" He asks me seriously, veiled curiosity on his face.

"Well… to understand I have to take you way back, to when I was a small child…"

"Mommy, why are all the other kids mean to me?" My four year old self asks. Mommy was holding my hand tightly, holding me close to her as we walked through the village.

"Hush little Chibi. They just don't understand you." Mommy says, kneeling in front of me on the sidewalk. I look up at her with big baby blue eyes, as she caresses my face with one hand. I nuzzle into it, a soft smile lighting my face. Mommy smiles at me before picking me up and carrying me on her hip. I snuggle into her warm neck, instantly feeling safer in her arms.

"What don't they understand?" I ask innocently.

"They don't understand how very special you are." Mommy says, kissing my forehead.

"What makes me so special?" Oh, the insatiable appetite of a child.

"You have a gift inside you that makes you special. Now no more questions, it's time to go home." Mommy says sternly, adjusting me on her hip as she dashes through the streets of Iwa.

We get home and Mommy sets me down. I take off my little sandals and place them neatly on the shoe mat before dashing off, looking for Daddy. "Daddy, daddy!" I shout as I find him in his study.

"Hello Kira." He smiles at me and gathers me up on his lap. I hug him around the neck and a plant a soft, wet kiss on his cheek. He pats my head, then runs his fingers through my golden blonde hair. I giggle and bat his hands away.

"You'll mess up my hair!" I squeal, smiling.

"A little girl should be messy sometimes."

"Noooo. Mommy says that little boys are supposed to be messy, and that little girls should be neat and clean."

"Oh she does, does she?" Daddy chuckles, mussing up my hair again. "Well, I guess I'll just have to tell her that my little girl should be messy once in awhile." Daddy chuckles, before tickling my sides.

"No Daddy, no!" I laugh, squirming out of his grip and moving several paces away.

"Go help Mommy with dinner, chibi. Daddy has to finish his reports." Daddy smiles at me once more, and then turns back to his desk.

I scamper out of the study and find Mommy in the kitchen, cooking something on the stove. "Daddy says that little girls are supposed to be messy sometimes." I say clinging to her leg.

"Oh he did, huh?" Mommy asks, smiling down at me.

"Yes."

"Well, my little girl doesn't get dirty, ne Kira?"

"Hai Mommy!" I say squeezing Mommy's leg and then running off.

I go into my room and over to the old doll house that had belonged to Mommy when she was little. I gently pick up the porcelain little girl doll, and hug her to my chest. Mommy had her specially made to look like me. I smooth the blonde wavy hair with a hand, before tucking her into one of the beds in the doll house.

A warning siren blares in the distance suddenly, and seconds later Mommy and Daddy are standing in my doorway. I jump at their grim faces, and Mommy scoops me up in her arms.

"Get Kira to the safe house." Daddy says, kissing Mommy on the cheek, and then kissing me on the forehead. "I have to go to the front lines."

"Right." Mommy says, as she watches Daddy hurry away, worry in her eyes. "Come on little one." Mommy opens my closet door, moves my clothes around, and pushes a secret button in the wall. A small door just big enough for Mommy to crawl through opens in my wall.

"Go on Kira." Mommy says, ushering me towards the yawning dark hole in the wall.

"I'm scared Mommy." I whine, clinging to her legs.

"Do as you're told." Mommy says sternly.

I look at her with wide eyes, then cautiously crawl through the entrance. A small light comes on as I cross the threshold. I turn to look for Mommy, but panic sets in when the wall thuds shut, closing me off from Mommy. "Mommy, mommy!" I screech, pounding on the seamless door.

"Follow the tunnel Kira. Mommy will be waiting at the other end, I promise."

I put my ear to the door, but all I hear is retreating footsteps. "Mommy…" I cry, large tears streaming down my face. After several minutes, I start crawling, following the long tunnel. Lights turn on every twenty feet or so, showing me the path. I crawl for what feels like forever, but finally, I see natural sunlight at the end. I pick up the pace and stop at the end. Large metal bars keep me from going any further. I sit at the end, my knees drawn up to my chest.

I sit like this for what seems like an eternity, but finally I see Mommy's face, her Rock headband glinting in the sun. The bars slowly grind up, and Mommy grabs me in a fierce hug. She puts me on her back, and I wrap my arms around her neck and my legs around her waist.

Mommy leaps away, carrying me through the trees at an impossible pace. I bury my face in Mommy's back, but look up when we stop suddenly. "Mommy?"

"Shh." Mommy hushes me, then leaps backwards, three kunai sticking out of the tree branch we had just been on.

"I'm scared." I whimper, tears leaking out again.

"I know baby." Mommy says as five ninja step out of hiding. They had headbands different from Mommy's, three spiky points, like three connected mountain. Mommy took out several ninja weapons of her own.

"A female ninja escaping with her child…" One of them mutters, an evil smile on his face.

"This will be fun." Another says, stepping back and throwing several shuriken towards us.

Mommy leaps to a clump of grass and puts me down. "Remember how I taught you to hide your chakra?" Mommy whispers hurriedly. I nod my head yes. "Do it now, and run. Don't come looking for me, ok Kira? Run and don't stop until you find someone with a headband like Mommy's.

"But…" I start to protest.

"Now." Mommy hisses, and I bolt through the grass, running as fast as my little legs can carry me.

AN: Two chapters in 24 hours, I'm on a roll! Leave a review and let me know what you think!