This fic happens to mean a lot to me, so I plan on working hard to get this one finished. I love reading all of your reviews, you guys are seriously awesome! And I thought I would just say that if any one of you are going though what Lovino is going through, I'm here. Just PM me and I'll chat with you.

There are major triggers in this fic, but I want members of the fandom that go through eating disorders to understand that there is hope. I hope I'm getting that message through to you guys. I myself didn't have much support or help from family. It was never actually addressed, and I still have bad thoughts about it today. However, I did find lots of people in the fandom that were more than happy to talk to me. I'm grateful for members of the Hetalia fandom that helped me get over it. Maybe not completely, but I'm getting there. But in case any of you are wondering, Lovino's experiences are different from mine. I don't like to self insert in my stories, but in order to get accurate feelings of what he's going through, I did put some of my own thoughts in there.

That's it about me though. On with the story! This one is slightly longer than the others, but I hope you guys don't mind. RxR and what not~

Chapter 4. "I'm friends with this girl called Ana,

I've started eating less,

Hating the person in the mirror,

My life's become a mess."

On the worst days, you feel as though your stomach is going to rip itself open and you are constantly keeling over in pain. You look down to your arms and legs and see hairs sprouting from them. That's a result of starving yourself. As you continue to not eat, your body is constantly cold. Therefore, your body tries to make up for this by growing more hairs to keep you warm.

Another effect is always being tired. You're constantly out of breath and always seem to feel dizzy or lightheaded. Your hair falls out too. With nothing to sustain it, it begins falling away in clumps. Mornings are always the hardest. You have no energy to even sit upright in bed. If you want to talk about long term effects, then scars are definitely one of them. You will live your entire life with stretch marks on your stomach, which is a result from rapid weight loss. Even if you think you managed to get out of it, without any real help, you never really will.

You could eat an entire week or month like normal, then one day it'll hit you. You won't eat and the thoughts will come flooding back. You won't tell anyone though. That's a secret and a problem only you can handle. It's true when they say "Ana" is a horrible friend that won't go away. She'll keep feeding you thoughts until you waste away or until someone helps you get rid of her. She won't allow you to tell anyone, especially your family. It will be just you and Ana.

On the good days, you get compliments. That's it. That's the only perk. You get to hear everyone compliment on how well you're killing yourself.

And yet nobody takes you seriously.

You might have concerned family members or friends, but on average, they don't tend to take action. Everything is up to you. Until the moment when you're either in the hospital recovering, or on your deathbed. Only then is it when everyone seems to get involved.

I know all of this, I recognize all of this and I know what I have. Yet, I can't seem to stop. It's addicting. It shows how much willpower you truly have and it makes you feel better about yourself. I doubt not a lot of people can understand this. Not unless you have it.

But there's one factor in my life. One person that completely ruined this scenario. He was determined to be involved right from the start, and that's what makes him special. He's my hope.

~oO0Oo~

"We'll help you get better Lovi, you can count on it." Antonio whispered into Lovino's ear as he dropped both him and his brother off. Lovino's grandfather still had no clue that Antonio even existed, and if he were to be honest, Lovino would like to keep it that way. He was concerned that his little brother would've said something, but he seemed preoccupied by Antonio's music to care. Feliciano had been too lazy to walk back home anyway.

Lovino was a little irked that Antonio was now talking about treatment options, but at the same time he felt grateful and loved. Antonio moved closer and kissed him softy on the lips. "I can't decide what I like kissing better." Antonio commented against them, moving to place little pecks across his cheek. "I just love all of you."

Lovino blushed bright red, grabbing his bag and throwing it over his shoulder. "S-stop talking like that, it's embarrassing!" He said hastily as he closed the door and tried to race to the front door. Antonio rolled down the window and called out to him, of course.

"Tomorrow. We'll talk more about it." Antonio shouted.

Lovino stopped halfway through the door, turning and narrowing his eyes at Antonio. "I just said it was embarrassing, idiot." He murmured as he went inside and closed the door behind him.

Antonio laughed and rolled up the window. He didn't mean that, but Lovino sure was cute when he was embarrassed. What Antonio really wanted to talk about was ways they could help Lovino. He was getting much too thin. Why wasn't anyone noticing how sick Lovino is? His skin is pale and he has dark circles around his eyes. Each time Antonio hugs Lovino, he feels fragile and delicate. His bones can be felt even through the layers of clothing he sometimes likes to wear. In order to help Lovino, whether he liked it or not, his little brother was going to have to get involved.

Antonio also had things he wanted to do. Lovino had refused to give names during his class with the presentation. But Antonio was fine with that. He had other ways of finding out. He wanted to know just who it was that caused Lovino to completely break apart like that. It hurt Antonio to think about how unstable he was. But he'd get to the bottom of it eventually, perhaps sooner than anticipated.

~oO0Oo~

Antonio got to school earlier than usual. He yawned as he sipped on his coffee and looked out the window. Students were slowly pouring in. Normally, students head straight for breakfast in the cafeteria when they first arrive at school. Antonio was always curious as to where Lovino went during this time. Early morning sunlight flowed in from the windows and made the small corner Antonio was sitting at brighten with warm hues.

"You look so majestic, sitting there."

Antonio turned to see a person he didn't quite get along with. "Arthur." He frowned as the blond-haired boy sat beside him. He had loads of piercings and was wearing almost all black. His shirt had distorted words that Antonio couldn't make out and his boots had small spikes on the sides.

"Are you waiting for those brothers?" Arthur asked in his annoying British accent. Antonio seriously couldn't understand how it could be so popular to the girls.

"Yeah…I need to talk with one of them." Antonio confirmed. He took another thoughtful sip from his coffee as he looked out the window again.

Arthur hummed in response. The two sat in silence for what felt like minutes, before Arthur sighed loudly and clapped a hand on his leg. "Oh bloody hell I can't take it anymore." Antonio shot him a confused look as Arthur inched closer. "Listen, I know there's something wrong with that little Lovino kid. He's sick."

At that Antonio put the cup down rather harshly, taking on a darker look. "What's it to you? If you dare insult him in front of me, I can promise you a broken nose and some knocked out teeth." He threatened viciously.

Arthur smirked. "Oh ho. I'd love to see you try, but no. That's not what I meant. I...I want help too."

Antonio's facial features relaxed, and he picked his coffee up. "Oh. Is that it? You don't look ill." Antonio said haughtily.

"Not me, my step-brother!" Arthur hissed, nearly punching Antonio in the arm. He stopped halfway, his arm in midair. He seemed to rethink his actions, and let his hand drop to his lap. "He and that older Italian have the same illness, I just know it." He murmured. "...Some students here think that Lovino has cancer or something."

Antonio grimaced. "Some students here are complete morons."

Arthur huffed, standing up. "I'll drop by during lunch. But please, let's work on this together. It's difficult as it is wondering what should and could be done. I'm tired figuring this out alone." Arthur smiled and gave a little wave as he strolled away.

It was as Antonio watched him go that he heard someone calling out to him. He looked to the front doors and saw Feliciano and Lovino. His face broke into a grin and he waved eagerly.

"I don't think I've ever seen you in the morning, Antonio." Feliciano commented as he approached him. Antonio looked behind him, where Lovino was shifting on his feet and yawning.

"Good morning, Lovi." Antonio greeted, a little more cheery than he originally meant to.

The immediate blush he received made his morning about ten times better.

"Lovi hasn't been sleeping well. Even after the sleeping pills he's been taking." Feliciano informed Antonio. Lovino shot his brother a glare and stepped forward.

"I just don't feel tired at night." He grumbled defensively.

Antonio smiled, but was currently wondering how he was going to get Feliciano alone. He supposed he could try and talk with Lovino here...he wondered if he might mind. He didn't like going behind his back anyway.

"Hey Feli, do you want to hang out with me and Lovi during lunch?" He asked, giving Feliciano what he hoped was a friendly smile.

Lovino crossed his arms and huffed, but otherwise didn't object. Feliciano, on the other hand, practically beamed. "I would love to! Lovi will never tell me where he goes off to during lunch! I've been so worried and curious!" He exclaimed.

Antonio nodded, laughing at the younger brother's enthusiasm. Feliciano pulled his bag up onto his shoulder and waved to both Antonio and Lovino. "Well, I have to go. I need to check up on Alfred!" He said brightly as he walked away.

Lovino plopped down beside Antonio as soon as he was gone. "...Why'd you invite my brother?"

To Antonio's great enjoyment, it was Lovino that laced their fingers together. He might as well have labeled this as one of the best mornings of his entire school life. "Oh. I just thought it would be nice-"

"Don't give me that bullshit. I know you want to bring him into this." Lovino snapped. He snatched the cup Antonio was still holding in his other hand, and took a sip of it. "Eww. It's bitter. Anyway, I think he knows, and I don't really mind if he comes and sits with us outside, but do not tell him about….incidents..." Lovino decidedly said.

Antonio blinked and tilted his head in confusion. "Incidents?" He asked.

Lovino nodded, handing Antonio his coffee back. "Incidents. With crying. And all that shit. It's embarrassing, and I'd rather forget it ever happened." He murmured.

Antonio nodded, his face breaking into a fond smile. "Of course I won't. It's just between the two of us."

Lovino eyed him suspiciously, slowly nodding in agreement. "Just the two of us." He repeated.

~oO0Oo~

Antonio was nervous. He'd be filling not only Feliciano, Lovino's little brother, in on what was going on, but also his two friends that he knew Lovino didn't exactly get along with. But what the article said was that people who were going through what Lovino was going through needed the support of as many people as possible.

"Pleaseeeeeeee?" Antonio pleaded again, reaching across the desk to repeatedly smack his friend, Gilbert on the shoulder.

Gilbert shrugged him off and rolled his eyes. "Dude, They're serving pizza today! Do you know how rare that is!?"

Antonio continued tapping his shoulder, saying nothing.

Gilbert sighed loudly, once again shrugging Antonio off. "Fine! I'm leaving class early though. I'm not missing out on that pizza." He informed Antonio with a frown.

Antonio practically beamed, and nodded in agreement. Next was Francis, though Antonio knew it wouldn't take much to convince him.

At lunch, they were going to discuss Lovino's illness. Antonio wanted to help. He wanted to understand why Lovino did it to himself and how it even started.

~oO0Oo~

It was obvious what Antonio was doing. It was flattering and really thoughtful, but Lovino highly doubted anything Antonio did was going to help. Every time Lovino reached a goal, such as a thigh gap, he created a new goal to replace the other. There was no end in sight.

He watched, amused as Antonio doodled in his notebook. Which was strange in itself because it was an art class anyway and there was paper provided for them. He lightly touched his hand to get his attention. "Why are you drawing in your notebook? There's paper right beside you." He asked, ignoring Francis and Gilbert's stares.

Antonio paused and looked up, smiling brightly at Lovino. "I draw better in a notebook than I do on drawing paper." He told him easily.

Lovino let a small smile grace his features. "Sure." He murmured amusedly.

With that, Antonio went back to doodling. Lovino had to admit, it did look like a good drawing. Antonio was currently drawing an eyelash on a realistic eye. Lovino was impressed.

However, his smile faded when he thought about how Antonio's efforts will be in vain. He may be trying to help, but honestly Lovino didn't want help. He didn't want treatment options or support. He didn't think he needed it.

After watching Antonio draw for a few more minutes, Lovino came to a decision. He'll play along and see how it goes. It's not like he was going to really listen to whatever it was Antonio was going to say. He didn't understand anything anyway.

~oO0Oo~

"Alright, so ways of recovery. First step: speaking and confiding in an adult." Antonio read aloud. It was Lovino, the French bastard, the creepy red-eyed German, and Lovino's younger brother. If Lovino's nickname's aren't for you, then the people respectively: Lovino, Francis, Gilbert, and Feliciano.

"No. Not gonna happen." Lovino stated flatly as he nudged Antonio's leg with his foot. They were all huddled up in the back of the school. The lunch bell had rang five minutes ago, and Antonio rounded all of them up and forced them to be here. Lovino wasn't exactly mad that he filled Feli and the ugly, older, potato bastard in on what was going on. It surprised him on how comforted he felt when Feli started crying and begging him to get better.

"Fine then. Step two: eat at least once a day, or at least at first. We'll gradually ease you into eating regularly again." Antonio said with a smile once he met Lovino's gaze.

Lovino rolled his eyes and turned away to see what Feli was up to. Currently, he was doodling something in his notebook like Antonio had done. He was very adamant about not letting Lovino see it.

Then the French bastard spoke up. "That's such a simple way of thinking." All eyes turned to him and he grabbed the notebook Antonio had been reading out of. "We don't just say 'Hey, we'll help you get better, here's a burger.' That doesn't work, Antonio." He explained and for once Lovino had to agree with him.

Antonio frowned, snatching the notebook back. "Okay, then what do we do?" He demanded, his eyes locked with Francis'. Lovino seriously bet Antonio thought he was being sneaky, because at the same time he spoke, his fingers slowly intertwined with his. Lovino could feel the blush already forming on his cheeks as he squeezed his hand in return.

"Good thing you asked, because otherwise I wouldn't know how to bring this up." He laughed in relief. "Arthur, you can come out now."

"Oh hell no." Lovino murmured as the blond punk came out from around the corner. He had quite a few piercings in and was wearing almost all black. Lovino tried to read his shirt subtly, but Arthur seemed to notice right away.

"Oh, this is a T-shirt I got from a concert by this one band...um... You probably wouldn't know it though. They're pretty cool, perhaps I'll show you sometime." He murmured as he came up to the group and sat down in-between Francis and Gilbert.

Lovino couldn't think of a response, so he simply nodded. Francis seemed satisfied by their interaction though. "Great! You get along just fine! Antonio here invited Arthur, and I so happen to be best friends with him too so it works out great! Arthur, why don't you introduce yourself properly?"

He spoke with a heavy British accent and Lovino noticed he had the habit of sucking his lip ring into his mouth when he was thinking.

"It's my step-brother. He...he won't eat. He's getting thinner and I don't want to betray his trust, but I also want to get help." Arthur explained. He didn't seem to be talking to the others, only Lovino. Since he kept constant eye contact with him as he spoke.

"That's great! Lovino and Alfred can become friends! Maybe that's what they need to recover from this!" Antonio beamed.

Francis nodded, looking way too pleased with himself. "Yes! And to think such a great idea came from me! I am such a genius!" He bragged, and Lovino had no control over his arm as he picked up Antonio's empty water bottle and threw it at him.

"I know Alfred, he's actually kind of nice!" Feli chirped from beside Lovino.

"He's on the football team with me. Well, was. The coach cut him when he passed out during practice." Gilbert said lazily as he rolled over onto his stomach. He was using his bag as a pillow and sitting in the sunlight, eating a pizza.

Lovino, however, was completely content with sitting in the shade. He wasn't cold, because Antonio had draped his jacket over him. Lovino nestled himself in the jacket, leaning on Antonio. He liked the way Antonio smelled, so much so that he was tempted to ask him if he could wear his jacket until he got home. Therefore successfully bringing it and keeping it home with him! He doubted Antonio would object if he just outright asked him though.

"Okay, so then how do we introduce them?" Arthur questioned impatiently.

Gilbert raised his hand slowly. "I could introduce them. He knows I hang out with Antonio... and Lovino is dating him, so I doubt it would seem weird."

Feli clapped his hands together like an idiot, his smile was blinding. "I'll help too! You two are going to become such great friends, Lovi!" He exclaimed.

Lovino grimaced . Already his friends circle was becoming bigger than he'd like it to be. Adding one more didn't sound very appealing.

~oO0Oo~

When they had only ten minutes left until the bell rang, Antonio stopped Lovino before he could go inside. He had a big grin plastered on his face, his eyes focused only on Lovino. Even as Francis and Gilbert said their goodbyes.

"W-what is it?" Lovino asked him, stammering as he did.

"This weekend, Gilbert, Francis and I are going camping. You should come with us." Antonio said excitedly, his eyes shining.

Lovino tried to frown, he really did. But the way Antonio was slowly inching closer made his heart skip a beat in his chest. He would be spending roughly three days with Antonio…

"If you're uncomfortable with it, Feli can come along too." Antonio added, his arms wrapping around Lovino's small waist.

He returned the embrace, practically melting when Antonio tilted his chin up and kissed his forehead.

"I-I don't mind, but Feli would really like to go camping." Lovino breathed out, his fingers gripping Antonio's shirt.

He chuckled softly, now peppering kisses across Lovino's cheek and one on his nose. "Alright. Then it's settled. You two are going to come with us and we'll go camp at that one spot near the river." Antonio said sweetly.

Lovino perked, pulling away just enough so he could look Antonio in the eyes. "Do you mean the river you took me to and we swam in?" He asked, a little more eager than he would've liked.

Antonio grinned and nodded, sealing their lips together in a kiss. "Yup! Exactly that one~ You can share a tent with me if you want?" Antonio offered hopefully.

Lovino blushed bright red and tried moving away. "W-what!? B-but if we do that, where's Feli gonna sleep-!?" He argued as he glared at the taller man before him.

"Good point...He can sleep with us too, I guess. But I want to sleep near you. I'd rest easier if I did." Antonio murmured as he returned to kissing the living daylights out of Lovino.

"He's scared of his own shadow, I highly doubt he'll sleep anywhere but in the middle." Lovino grumbled, pushing away from Antonio.

Antonio chuckled, ruffling Lovino's hair. "So I suppose that means you're like the tough, brave, older brother?" He asked amusedly.

Lovino huffed, grabbing his bag and hoisting it over his shoulder. "I'm going to be late for class….And yes, I guess that means I am." He murmured in a soft voice, before he opened the doors of the school and disappeared into the crowd.

Antonio couldn't help but smile. Lovino was definitely the cutest.

~oO0Oo~

Now Lovino could see it. Funny. He would've thought he'd be the first person to notice. There Alfred F. Jones was, sitting underneath the shade of the gate. He seemed to be sleeping.

Currently it was the end of the day and some students were walking home. Lovino was standing outside with Feli when he noticed Alfred sitting there.

"Oh, it's Alfred! Maybe we should introduce you two now?" Feliciano asked, getting ready to walk over.

Lovino grabbed him by the arm and pulled him roughly back to his side. "Nope. Leave him alone. Besides, that German bastard wanted to help do it." Lovino grumbled, perking when he saw Antonio pull up.

Feliciano pouted. "He's just right over there! Lovi, he's nice, I promise you!" He tried reasoning, but was met with a pointed glare.

Once Antonio pulled up, Lovino hopped into the passengers seat, while Feliciano climbed into the back.

"Well don't you look lovely this afternoon~" Antonio purred as Lovino closed the door.

He rolled his eyes and looked away. "Do you always have to smother me? I just saw you a couple hours ago..." He grumbled under his breath.

Antonio laughed, trying to lean in for a kiss. "If not me, then who else?~ and yes, an hour and fifteen minutes ago, to be exact."

"You two are so cute!" Feliciano took his chance and practically shouted from the backseat.

"Oh my god." Lovino said exasperatedly and rubbed his temple. Both Feliciano and Antonio laughed in unison.

"Tomorrow….do you want to share lunch?" Antonio suddenly asked as he began to drive them home. It was asked lightly, but Lovino couldn't help but feel irritated.

"No. Leave me alone." He mumbled, closing his eyes.

"….I just...I noticed you don't read much anymore….um, if you're not busy with stuff like reading, maybe….do you want to meet Alfred?" Antonio tried, he gave Lovino a quick glance.

"He's nice!" Feliciano piped in from the backseat.

"If I talk to Alfred, will you leave me alone for the rest of the drive?" Lovino growled.

Antonio was quiet, like he was mulling it over and wondering if he could really leave Lovino alone for the rest of the drive. It wasn't that long of a drive anyway...they lived fairly close to the school. "...All right. Fine." Antonio conceded, sighing as Lovino then turned fully away.

The rest of the two minutes were spent by Antonio showing Feliciano Spanish music. By the time they got to their house, Feliciano was well versed in two of Antonio's albums. Pretty impressive, for a guy that can't remember to tie his own shoes before he goes out the door in the morning.

As Lovino was getting off, Antonio kept giving him the most sincere smile. "Camping." He said, barely containing his excitement.

Lovino tried to keep his frown, but found it nearly impossible when Antonio kept looking at him like that. "Camping." He repeated in a flat tone.

Antonio giggled and begin slowly driving away. "Ask your parents about it." He called out, before he was too far to communicate with.

Lovino grimaced. His grandfather had never met Antonio. He doubted he'd let both him and his brother go on a camping trip with people he didn't know.

He pushed the front door open, sighing as he tossed his bag to the side and began kicking off his shoes.

"Twelve days without any calories, huh?"

Lovino froze. He slowly lifted his gaze and his eyes widened when he saw the small notebook on the table in front of his grandfather.

"I'm going to make this real clear to you, Lovino. Either you stop this nonsense, or I'm calling someone."

That was probably the single most horrible and wrong thing his grandfather has done so far. Threatening Lovino with "help"? His grandfather obviously wasn't as smart as he liked to put off. Lovino tried to ignore the man's stare as he calmly walked to the table, reaching for the notebook only to have it moved out of reach.

"No. We're going to talk."

Lovino wanted to go upstairs and sleep. Preferably for the next ten or fifteen years.