Because I love you
By:IceDragonSlayerEmi
Chapter 4: Stay Strong
A/N: So im giving you all time line here, this Story takes place about a year before the events in finding love again, the sequel to this will take place during the time frame of Forever. Sounds crazy but you'll see my end goal in the long run, thanx to JcL107 and PokemonFanForever for following! Lets get some reviews going here! Now than lets fly my fairies!
-Bickslow's pov-
I see the sun creep threw the bars of my window, I pull myself out of bed and groan, my leg was killing me, the steal rod and pins always hurt when it was cold, it was always cold in this fucking hospital they never turn the heat on, during the summer it was still cold in here till about noon than it turned into a oven. I put on a gray sweatshirt I was given on admittance its nothing fancy just a gray hoodie with a zipper, only difference is I've bitten holes in mine for my thumbs to go threw. I hear my door unlock and step outside facing the wall with my hands behind my back to wait my tun to piss, It was always like this we had to escorted to the bathroom and watched while we went. I see Lisanna walk by out of the corner of my eye, I wonder how long it would take before she gave up me too. Everyone does, why? Because I wont talk, I don't want to. Talking about it would make relive those memories I've been holding back and running from. I would have to relive the memory of something that I didn't do, something that put me in hell. I hear Carl say " Come on Stupid its your turn" I sigh and let him put the handcuffs on my wrist, wincing as I hear the click of the metal ones, I hate metal handcuffs they make me remember the day I was arrested, I wanted to shut down once he had put them on, I almost did but my bladder says other wise, I sigh and let him lead me to the bathroom were he stands right over my shoulder as I pull my dick out " Excuse you but I'm perfectly capable of holding my own dick" I tell him, he slaps the back of my head and it bounces of the wall. I growl in frustration and pain, I wanted to piss on him, last time I did that I got canned and thrown in the hole. I finish and he leads me back to the wall were he slams my face into it, I taste blood in my mouth and can feel it run down my chin. I swallow it. I run my tongue over my teeth and feel another one had broken.
Almost all my teeth were broken from being slammed into wall or slapped hard enough I bounce my head off something. Once bathroom time is over were led to the cafeteria where it's the same lumpy gray porridge they always serve, I groan as I pick it up with my fingers and eat a few bites. Its eat or get a tube shoved down my throat, I give the rest to Master Bating Charlie, I than begin to clean my hands off, I don't get silverware, Why? Because I stab people who try to steal my food. It's not cause I'm violent or dangerous I simply just don't like a mother fucker touching my food, its simple enough keep your hands out my plate and you keep your hand. Not here the first time I stabbed someone was with a steak knife, Martha had decided she wanted my biscuit more than I did, so I stabbed her in the hand, second time Greg the bear fucker wanted my jello I stabbed him with a fork. Another one wanted my peanut butter sandwich, so I stabbed him with a spork, I'm not allowed to have anything to eat with anymore. After breakfast it's the daily dose of chalk tasting pills that make me lucid, they are horrible. Were than led to the day room where I sit in the window and try to piece the fragments of my life back together. Every time I sit in the window I think of my Mama. My Mama was the best sweetest kindest woman ever, she was a full-blooded Gypsy from Romania sent here to keep her from being killed when the Gypsy purge was going on in Romania, she had been sent over as a child, Alashar Therlopis had found her begging in the streets and gave her a home, food and a job. She had me young she was 15 when she got pregnant with me, Alashar let her keep me, she raised me in that carnival. I had learned it all before I was out of diapers. She would always tell me I was smart and to do more than just be a Carnie to make something of myself. I don't think she meant a lunatic drooling in bread though, but here I am. We traveled a lot at first for the longest time I only knew the inside of her Vardo, but when I was 10, we had stopped in Magnolia and she met up with her old friend Makarov, Her and Makarov made a deal that I would live with him from August to May so I could go to regular school, she had homeschooled me for the longest time. I didn't want to leave her, but she made me promise to go and she would see me in the summer. It went like that for years than when I was 14 Alashar had gotten a contract with Magnolia to take up permeant residency here. I loved it because I got to go home every weekend to see my Mama. While they had been traveling, they had picked up Rusty, Alashar had a soft spot for kids who had nothing. That soft spot is what took everything I had ever known away. I knew no one would ever believe me the half breed Gypsy/Boscon mutt, but I knew who it and I'm sat here doing his time for a crime I didn't commit.
I feel a hand on my shoulder, I look threw my mass of hair and see Evergreen she had a cigarette for me, I take it between two fingers and wait for her to light it. Once she does, I sigh in relief. "you ok?" she asks, "I'm Fine" I tell her. "You sure Bix?" she asks again, " Yes Ever I'm Fan Fucking Tastic" I tell her. I did remember Evergreen she used to kick it with me, Laxus and Freed the only girl we had deemed cool enough to chill with. Evergreen had gotten in to the Thunder Legion which what we called ourselves in high school because she stood toe to toe with Laxus in a screaming match over the last slice of Pizza in the lunch line once, from that point she was cool, that and she got good weed.
As I smoke, I remember how it felt to find my Mama like that, I should have been there sooner to stop that skinny little fuck, I should have saved her, but I was to busy getting stoned with Laxus. Fucking Laxus he never came to see me at the hospital just left me there to rot, I thought he was my best friend. Ride or die but no. he just stood back and watched them haul me away. Fuck him. No one knew just how shitty I felt how much I wanted to just die to go be with My Mama. Sometimes I think back to what she used to always tell me " Rămâi puternic pe Fiul meu" which means stay strong my son, I was tired of trying to Stay Strong. I was falling apart. I see Lisanna walk by and she smiles at me, I just look out the window. Every day I prayed for death, I've tried a few times. I look down at my wrist under the leather cuffs I had to wear, there were scars from metal hand cuffs that were left on for so long they had to be surgically removed from my wrists, under that was a scar were I had tried to commit suicide by slicing my wrists on the meat slicer, they just stitched my ass back up. Death never came. I tried to hang my self once too got cut down and now had to be handcuffed 24 hours a day. I spent my whole day with leather cuffs around my wrists. I listen to the chaos around me, fucking Lunatics. They never stopped yelling, there is also the endless loop of Domonique, growing up I had heard it once in my life. Being in Fairy hills it was every day for six fucking years. It used to drive me bat shit crazy, it still does but I've learned to tune it out. I had the feeling to look over towards the record player and saw Lisanna over there, I jump down from my window and run over to her, stopping her hand. I whisper to her " Don't do that Kitten, Any one of them will rat you out, don't think for a second sister Twaty ain't above canning an employee, you'd get your ass beat and they get a piece of candy" . " Its so fucking annoying!" she says. " you get used to it" I tell her as I head back to my window. She walks over to me " What do you want?" I ask her. " Wanna go for a walk?" She asks. " I'm not allowed outside" I tell her. " Oh, Wanna play cards?" she asks " Half of them are missing" I tell her still keeping my eyes on the window. She sighs and walks away. I groan and get up. " Kitten wait," I say, she turns, she was prettier than I remember she was still short but had filled out nicely she was curvier now had finally grown in to her boobs. Her hair was still the color of snow and her eyes were still the same ocean blue I vaguely remembered from high school. "What did you want to talk about?" I ask her, her lips pull up into a small smile. " tell me your side of the story?" She asks. " anything but that" I tell her. We end up talking about what she had been doing for the past six years. Talking with Lisanna was easy she didn't judge me, didn't freak out if I went pervy or creepy on her she just smiled and laughed at my pathetic jokes. Its not long till I had to make the bread that this fucked up place sold to support its self. After that its dinner than more meds to make me numb. Than bed. I was about to fall asleep when Carl comes in with three other orderlies. I sigh and stay still as he pulls my pants down and moves my body up so I was ass up and he pushed himself into me, I sigh as I count to my self waiting for him to be done. I used to fight and scream, cry them to stop, but they never did, like every thing else I became numb to it. Sad fact is I like it. Crazy right? I didn't know they had left my door open, I hear a gasp and see Lisanna standing there watching " What are you doing to him!" she yells. Good job Kitten. I feel Carl pull out and he walks over to her with his dick still out. Grabs her pushing her up on the door, his hand encloses around her neck, I lose it than and try to pull up from the bed to save her, yet I didn't know why " You don't tell anyone what you saw, do you understand you little fucking cunt! Understand?" he snarls at her. I don't hear anything from her, I begin to think he had killed her. " Yes" she squeaks, Carl drops her and she runs off crying, I can hear her shoes hit as she ran down the hall way to the door to the day room. I pull up again but its no use. My head is shoved back down as Carl continues his humiliation. Every day same shit… Mavis Kill me.
A/N: I know Bickslow seems out of Character but remember he has been in a insane asylum for the past six years. Its scared his psyche and he is depressed. You would be too. Leave some words!