Darling, I Want to Destroy You
Chapter 4
By: StalkerDex
"What's the problem?" Stacey asked finally, completely exasperated.
"I…I don't know…I don't know what's wrong with me," he replied, his voice a little frantic.
She rolled her eyes, laying back on his bed and pulling the covers over her. She didn't want to be exposed to him any longer.
"I'm getting tired of this. We never have sex, Kyle…and when we do it seems like this always happens," she said, venom in her voice. He couldn't really blame her. It had happened the last four times they'd tried to have sex.
"I'm sorry, Stace…I don't know what's wrong," he further explained, trying not to be too defensive.
She simply watched silently as he scrambled to get his clothes back on. He was thoroughly embarrassed. He had to get his shit figured out, otherwise he was going to lose her.
"I'm uh…I'm gonna go downstairs," he stated, hanging his head as he walked out of his room. His parents and Ike were already fast asleep. It used to be so exciting when he'd sneak her into his room for a good fuck; now everything was just so routine and familiar. She never did anything different. Plus, she'd gotten to the point to where she genuinely seemed to have no interest in anything he could do for her anyway. Not even just sexually; she just didn't seem to give a shit about anything he had offer. He definitely didn't feel needed by her, and it was an issue.
He swallowed hard as he thought about it all. His life had just grown to be so frustrating…nothing had been right. Things really had gone south about a year or so into their relationship, but ever since Cartman had come back it seemed like it was simply tanking. He didn't know why his return seemed to have such a strong impact on his relationship with Stacey; maybe it was because of all of the things he had said about her. Kyle knew that she didn't like having Cartman around. She certainly hadn't hesitated to voice the fact that she didn't want Kyle to hang around him. It was something they fought about regularly anymore. Of course, he wouldn't stop hanging out with someone for no good reason, and the fact that her and Cartman didn't get along wasn't good enough. He'd never really done anything all that bad to her.
"Kyle," he suddenly heard Stacey's voice ring out from behind him. He turned to see her. She was fully dressed and had her purse on her arm.
"You're going?" he asked stupidly.
"Yeah…I'm going home," she replied, a sadness to her tone.
Kyle nodded at her, not really having anything else to say. She huffed a bit at his lack of response.
"You're unbelievable," she accused before stomping her way out of his house. Good riddance. She was acting like such a bitch.
He shook his head, feeling anger rising in his chest. He was getting so tired of her. Before he knew it he had pulled his phone out of the pocket of his jeans and dialed Cartman's number.
"Hello?" Cartman answered, his voice very hushed.
"Hey," he said, not really sure what he wanted to say.
"What's up?"
"Uh…well…I kinda need someone to talk to…can I see you?" Kyle asked, scratching the back of his head. He'd never asked to hang out with Cartman alone before.
There was a long pause on the other end of the phone before Cartman slowly spoke, "Uh…now's not really a good time, dude…"
Damn…rejected again.
"Why not? Come on…you never hang out anymore…"
"No Kahl…okay? No!" Eric insisted, whispering harshly into the phone.
"Well…" before he could finish trying to persuade him he heard his friend hang up. He shoved his phone angrily into his pocket.
"Fuck this," he mumbled to himself, walking into the living room and grabbing his orange jacket off of the coat rack. He was tired of Eric's games…he was going to go see what the fuck was going on.
He could feel his pale cheeks hot with anger as he stomped out to his car and started it up. The ride was short, so he didn't have much time to cool off, which led to some more cranky stomping as he made his way up to Cartman's door. However, before he could start pounding on it, he heard loud crying from inside.
He stood for a moment, blinking as he listened for what might be going on. After a few seconds of trying to process the situation he could feel himself calm down and he quietly made his way over to the living room window. He crouched down on his knees, lifting his head up just high enough to see in…he was a little shocked at the sight.
Liane was sobbing hysterically as Cartman was trying to pry a crack pipe out of her hands. She was black and blue with bruises on her arms…her pink shirt was torn and hanging loosely off of her thin body.
"Please, Mom…it's okay…just let me have it…I'm going to put it somewhere safe…" Cartman begged, kneeling down beside her. He definitely wasn't being frustrated or violent. He was simply pleading; it was heartbreaking.
"I'm so sorry Eric," she whaled, "I'm a terrible mother…I'm such a bad mother…"
"No, Mom…No you're the best mother. You're my wonderful, beautiful mother and I love you," he replied, lifting her face up so he could make eye contact with her.
She bowed her head in shame, still sobbing. Eric's hazel eyes looked up at the ceiling as he let go of her hand, seeming to give up on retrieving the pipe. He hugged her close and kissed her forehead, allowing her to collapse into him, crying into his shoulder. As he did this, his eyes made their way over to the window.
Kyle felt his stomach drop to the floor, and at first, he wanted to run away and deny that he had ever been there. However, he was unable to move, despite the fact that he knew Eric could see him. He simply stared at him, and Eric did the same for a few seconds before nuzzling his head onto his mom's and lifting one of his hands. He signaled for his friend to come in.
Kyle's eyes widened, and he pointed to himself, trying to confirm that it was okay for him to go inside. Eric nodded.
Kyle swallowed hard, extremely nervous. However, he managed to walk over to the door and let himself in. Liane didn't seem to notice.
"Look, Mom…Kyle's here to see you," Eric said gently, lifting her up just a bit. She leaned away from him to make eye contact with the Broflovski boy.
"O…oh…hello there, Kyle," she said, her voice wavering. Her tears had stopped though.
"Hi, Mrs. Cartman," he replied, smiling warmly at her. Eric watched him carefully as he slowly walked over to the two of them, sitting beside Liane.
"Oh…I…I'm so sorry…I didn't mean for…" she started to explain.
"It's okay," Kyle said softly, smiling at her some more, "I just thought you might like some company."
Kyle watched as she tried to process what he was saying. She didn't seem very lucid. She must've been drunk.
"Why thank you…that's so sweet," she finally said.
"But…I didn't realize how late it was," Kyle went on, "I'm guessing it's probably time for you to go to bed now, huh?"
"Oh…yes…yes it is," she said, sounding a little relieved.
Kyle continued to smile at her, putting his hand on hers.
"Well…I just wanted to say goodnight to you…and I know that Eric and you wanted to go ahead and keep that safe there…if you wanted, I can find a good hiding place for you?" Kyle went on, referring to her pipe.
"Oh…yes…yes that would be really nice," she answered, her eyes glazing over as she handed it over to him. He noticed Eric's body seem to relax.
"Thank you, Mrs. Cartman…I'll go ahead and hide this for you while Eric takes you up to bed, if that's okay?"
Liane smiled warmly at him before suddenly closing her eyes and collapsing onto her son's chest. She was done for the night.
Eric didn't look at Kyle at all as he scooped his mother up and carried her up the stairs. Kyle stayed seated on the floor, shifting uncomfortably as he waited for Eric to tuck his mother in. He had no idea it had gotten this bad. Sure, everyone in South Park knew about her, uh, lifestyle…but she'd always been careful to hide it from her son. He never would've thought it would reach a point like this.
"Hey," Kyle said softly as Eric made his way back down the stairs.
"Hey," he responded, leaning against the wall with his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He was staring at the ground, showing his discomfort with the whole situation.
"I'm…I'm sorry I did that…I shouldn't have just shown up like that," Kyle apologized. Shit…he sure seemed to be doing a lot of apologizing these days.
"Don't worry about it," Eric replied, lifting his head up and making eye contact with his friend. He looked nice tonight. He was wearing a tight black shirt, blue jeans and his black snow boots.
Kyle watched as Eric pushed himself from the wall and walked over to Kyle, snatching the crack pipe from his hand, "c'mon."
He did as he was told, hopping up and following Eric out the back door of his house. He stood on their porch for a second before throwing the crack pipe to the ground, shattering it into a million pieces. Kyle simply watched, quietly understanding the personal hell Eric had been hiding from the rest of the world. No wonder he was always such a dick.
"Thank you," he said quietly, catching Kyle off guard. Did Eric Cartman really just say 'thank you' to him?
"Your welcome," he said stupidly.
Eric rubbed his nose in the cold before turning to look at his friend. He had tears in his eyes, "I've, uh…I've been trying to get that from her for months," he explained, "she keeps it on her while she sleeps…she always wakes when I try to grab it."
Kyle nodded, not wanting to explain the fact that she probably had plenty more. Of course, Eric knew that anyway. He had to let him have this victory.
"So…what did you need to talk about?" Eric asked, seeming a little numb. He had to be that way…it was the only way to deal with things as they were.
Kyle felt his cheeks get hot. It all seemed so stupid now.
"Nothing, dude…just dumb shit. It doesn't even matter."
Eric smirked and shook his head, looking a little frustrated, "look…just because I deal with…this…it doesn't mean that you have to coddle me. For fuck's sake, you drove over here after I told you to fuck off so what is it?"
Kyle really didn't want to talk about it, but he could see that it would be offensive to Eric if he didn't.
"I got into it a little with Stacey, that's all."
"Oh…?" Eric asked, turning towards Kyle. He seemed interested. It bothered Kyle how interested he seemed to be.
"Well…yeah…uh…she was just being kind of a bitch is all…"
Cartman huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, "well…I've been telling you that since day one."
On any other day this would've pissed Kyle off, but…at this moment…he happened to agree with some of the crazy shit Cartman had said in the past.
"Look…you can't make fun of me, okay?" Kyle began, seeming to intrigue Cartman further.
"What?"
Kyle shifted in the snow, noting how they were again alone in the fucking cold. These seemed to be the moments when they were at their best.
"Well…I haven't been able to, uh, get it up…so she fucking made me feel like shit about it tonight."
Eric nodded before putting one of his hands to his chin. He could see the arrogance painting it's way across his face. Here we go…
"Of course you can't. Who wants to fuck a bitch who's fucked everyone else in the school?" he said, smiling.
Again, normally he would've been mad and again, he wasn't.
"Jesus, Cartman, you know she hasn't."
Eric looked him over before sighing, "yeah I know. So what's the deal then…why can't you fuck her?"
"I…I don't know," Kyle replied, realizing that the two of them were actually about to get drawn into a real conversation. Eric had already made himself comfortable, leaning against the wall of his house. Kyle stepped a little closer.
"You don't know? Come on, Kahl. You know what it is," Eric insisted.
"No I don't," Kyle said defensively, "why would you say that?"
Eric rolled his eyes, "well…okay…what sorts of problems have you guys been having?"
Kyle blinked, not sure what that had to do with anything. Nonetheless, he answered, "well…you know…we fight a lot. A lot, a lot."
Eric nodded, "okay…what about?"
Kyle bowed his head, "you."
Eric started to laugh, "seriously…me? Why the fuck are you two lovebirds arguing about me?"
Kyle looked back up at his friend, suddenly opening the floodgates, "because. Because she's being a fucking controlling bitch, that's why! She doesn't like you, so automatically that means I don't get to like you either. I only get to do whatever is 'approved' by her. Whatever I do must be okay with her first! It's so fucking stupid! And then to top it all off everything is such a goddamn routine! We never do anything new, and even when we do our old shit I don't feel like she wants to be there with me…and frankly, I don't want to do anything with her either. It's all so fucking stagnant…I don't even really feel anything but anger and resentment towards her…and I feel guilty about it…even though I know...I fucking know for a fact that she feels exactly the same way!"
Eric smirked at him, his arms still folded across his chest. Kyle blinked at him, waiting for a response.
"Well…what? Anything to say, fat boy?" he asked, a little irritated that a goddamn smirk was the response his friend had to him opening up.
"Nothing…I'm just proud of you, that's all."
"You're proud of me?" Kyle asked, further pissed off.
"Yeah…I'm proud of you."
"Why? Why on earth would you be proud of me?"
"Because," Eric responded, "my little monster finally grew a pair!"
Kyle simply looked at him, a questioning look in his eyes. Eric smiled again, finally uncrossing his arms and placing his hands back into his pockets. He liked his now casual stance much more…he wasn't putting on heirs.
"Why are we talking about this?" Kyle asked, frustrated.
A confused look made it's way across Eric's face, which surprised his friend, "what do you mean?"
"I mean…after what just happened…why are we talking about me and my stupid fucking girl problems?"
"Because…I figured it's the least I could do after you didn't fucking pussy out and run away tonight…"
Kyle simply stared at Eric, realizing what was happening.
"I'm not gonna tell anyone, Eric," he said, assuring him.
Eric shifted uncomfortably before looking back up at his friend, "I know."
Kyle smiled at him warmly, and Eric responded with a somewhat uncomfortable smile.
"You know…people wouldn't judge you as much as you would think, Cartman."
Eric shook his head, surprised the Jew couldn't figure it out. It was pretty goddamn simple.
"I'm not protecting me, Kahl…"
He nodded. Of course he wasn't. It was true…if word got around all of the judgment would've been passed to Liane. He knew there was no way Cartman would let that happen.
"You know…I'm proud of you, too," Kyle said, absolutely genuine.
Eric scratched the back of his head and smiled, "I know that, too."
"Well…uh…" Kyle also scratched the back of his head, "I guess I should go then…I wasn't exactly invited."
Suddenly Eric hopped up from his lean against the house, walking up to Kyle, "it's okay…you don't have to go…" he said, almost pleading.
Kyle was a little shocked at the response, but quickly processed it. They stood together for just a second before Kyle put his hand to Eric's cheek, "I'll stay…I'll stay if you want me to."
Eric swallowed hard at his friend's touch, feeling a pit form in the bottom of his stomach.
"Fuck…I can't fucking take this anymore," he blurted before grabbing the back of Kyle's head and pulling his face to his, kissing him forcefully.
Kyle's eyes were wide and, at first, he pushed against Eric's chest. However, he was unable to force him off and after a moment he closed his eyes and opened his mouth, breathing heavily as he pushed his tongue into Eric's mouth.
The Jewish boy moaned quietly as Eric picked him up. He responded by wrapping his thin legs around Cartman, clawing at the back of his head as he kissed him excitedly. Eric turned them both around pushing him into the wall of his house. The two boys frantically pulled and clawed at one another, exploring each other's mouths forcefully before Eric pushed Kyle off of him. At first, the boy's eyes got wide, thinking that Eric wasn't into it anymore, until his friend had gotten on his knees and unbuttoned his pants.
"Shit…Eric…" he whispered between breaths, feeling like he had to protest.
"Shut up, Jew," he instructed before starting to go down on his old friend.
Kyle rolled his lovely green eyes upward and fluttered his lids closed at the feel of his friend's warm mouth pleasuring him. It was literally the most exciting thing he'd ever felt in his young life. He felt the heat of danger and sin pumping through his veins as he moaned blissfully. This lasted for a few minutes before Eric hopped back up.
"What do you want to do to me?" Eric asked, a tantalizing tone to his voice.
Kyle's normally pale face was completely flushed and he was joyous to see beads of sweat on his skin. He was doing a good job.
"Come on, fat ass…" he whispered, a little breathless, as he grabbed Eric's hand and led him in the house to the living room, "get on the couch."
"Hmmm…no please?" Eric teased, though did as he was instructed.
Kyle smirked at him, still looking out of his element, "what do we have here for, uh…you know…lube wise?"
Eric smiled at him, finding how uncomfortable he was to be enduring.
"There's lotion in the kitchen," he instructed, pointing.
Kyle nodded before walking into the kitchen and spotting a small tube of scented lotion on the table. It must've been Liane's, which was a little weird. Regardless, he snatched it up and went back into the living room, still terribly excited.
"Okay…lay down," Kyle instructed, whispering. He felt like the whole world would hear them if he spoke too loudly.
"Yes, ma'am," Cartman teased some more. Kyle smirked again…he kind of liked how playful he was being. It was cute.
"Okay…" he said, pulling Cartman's jeans down, "are you ready?"
Eric nodded and waved his hand at him, signaling him to hurry the fuck up.
Kyle smiled, applying the lotion to himself before starting to go inside of his friend. Eric let out a few small moans as Kyle eased himself in. It hurt a little, but Kyle was definitely being sensitive to that.
Kyle was totally entranced as he watched the vulnerability on Eric's face. He looked almost angelic as he showed the pain he was feeling, softly moaning with every move. Kyle was slow, watching his friend's face the entire time for cues. It was intoxicating, how good it felt. It was all warm, and gentle…much different from the frantic ravaging they'd done to one another earlier.
This was far more serious…far more intimate. They were trusting one another entirely now, and it was very blatant on Eric's lovely face just how much of a big deal this was. This was, in fact, the most honest moment he'd ever spent with Cartman, and it felt like a drug he had to have.
"You okay?" Kyle whispered into Eric's ear, nuzzling his face as he slowly moved inside him.
Eric lifted his chin, Kyle sliding his hand beneath it, pushing his face closer. They were both drenched in sweat, breathing heavily.
"I'm going to cum," he responded quietly.
Kyle nodded and kissed his friend's cheek, speeding up just a touch. Cartman started to climax first, shuddering violently beneath him and sounding almost like he was crying in the process. It felt so good and it was so stimulating to watch him that Kyle followed seconds after. He shook, rolling his eyes backwards as he experienced the single most intense orgasm he'd ever felt in his life.
"Oh…" he spat out before simply collapsing on top of Eric, completely exhausted.
They breathed heavily together, basking in the afterglow for a few moments.
"Kahl…" Eric said softly, rolling over and sitting himself up. Kyle sat up as well, looking questioningly at his friend.
"What is it?"
He watched, realizing that Eric was extremely uncomfortable with whatever he had to say. Kyle wanted to put his hand on his leg, but somehow, now that they'd gotten that out of the way, he found himself unable to. What did what they had just done mean?
"Will you stay here tonight? You can sleep on my bed…I'll use a sleeping bag…I just don't want to be alone," he admitted.
Kyle felt himself soften up again.
"Of course I'll stay…" he replied, hugging his friend close.
And in that moment, Kyle witnessed one more display of honesty before they slept that night. As he held him close, he began to tremble and, much to Kyle's surprise, he could feel tears on his neck as Cartman, for the first time years, cried.