Chapter 4
I feel as though my heart has been ripped from me, knowing that the pain i feel will never be completely gone. I just watched my husband die and I am on my way back to the Palace alone and heartbroken. Catherine holds me and hears me sobs as the carriage rides back to the Palace, along with Francis' lifeless body in a box being carried for burial. Just this morning, I woke up in his arms and we made love and now i must learn to sleep alone and hurt as his side of the bed would always be empty As soon as we arrive, I let go of Catherine and rn in our rooms, I crawl on his side of the bed and hold his pillow. I lay there and sob as his scent still lingers across the sheets and the duvet. I stand up and sit by his desk and look at a document that was supposedly signed this afternoon by the nobles and awaited his signature and approval, the quill lying there next to the page with fried ink on the tip and his first initial gleaming in the moonlight. I walk over to the closet, and take out the gold jacket he wore at our wedding, I hold it and smell it and don't let it go. I run to the throne room, tear down the curtains and collapse in the middle of the floor, letting the sobs take over. I walk up the steps and see his other crown placed on his chair,he put it there so he wouldn't forget it tomorrow at the Michaelmas celebration. All events have been cancelled as people heard the news, as soon as i arrived back; banners were being taken down and the throne room stood empty with just the thrones in the center. I see Catherine walking towards me, with eyes red as the devil and puffy as a cloud, you could see in her eyes the hurt and the grief that she has succu,ned too, I turn as she begins to speak:
'My dear, I think it's best you sleep." She grabs my shoulder as I'm staring up at his portrait above our thrones.
"I can't!" I exclaim sniffling through my sobs and cries
"If only he told you." She down sadly
"Told me what?!"
silence between us both
"Catherine, told me WHAT?!"
'After the meeting with Nicholas, I called Francis into my office." she paused and breathed
"I told him of the prophecy, that you two thought was fulfilled."
I looked at her confused….then it clicked…..Nostradamus lied to her the night i was going to Bash at the chapel. He lied to Catherine about the prophecy so, she could convince me to marry Francis.
She spoke again…..once she saw me pay attention.
"He looked at me, and didn't even believe it."
"He said, I was crazy for believing that prophecies and superstitions ruled his future with you!"
She paused….to take a breath
"I warned him to take extra guards, wear extra clothing even inform every stationed guard in the place for protection…."
"I even suggested that he tell you, just in case …..you would take precautions."
"He didn't listen to me at all! and now he's lying somewhere lifeless in a box!"
"Catherine, why didn't you tell me!"
"He didn't want for you to be worried or misinformed.'
"HE WOULD BE ALIVE AND WE WOULD BE HAPPY"!
"HE WOULD BE HERE, HELPING PLAN FOR THE MICHAELMAS BANQUET….THAT NOT SO LONG AGO….HE SAVED ME FROM AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE"!
i sob and breathe before continuing.
"You were plotting my death, planning my demise….you're heart black as the evening sky!"
she wanted to reply and i could see the anger
"NO, YOU DO NOT GET TO SPEAK!"
she paused…..
"Mary….Mary"!
"He died saving me, he chose to save me and you stand here and make up stories about how i could have saved him!" "Why didn't you tell me"! "I know i made mistakes with Conde and my marriage, but i deserved to be informed, so maybe he could have lived."
"I HAVe BEEN LEFT WITH NOTHING AND NO ONE." MY COUNTRY IS WEAK, AND THE ONE PERSON WHO PROTECTED IT IS DEAD." MY HUSBAND AND MY MOTHER LAY LIFELESSLY IN A BOX AND YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU…..CATHERINE DE MEDICI WOULD HAVE DONE TO SAVE HIM…."
"YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME, BECAUSE NOW HE IS DEAD BECAUSE OF US!"
"THE PERSON THAT WE LOVED THE MOST, EQUALLY!"
I grabbed his jacket and ran back to my room and sobbed until i fell into a depressive sleep.