OMG GUYS THANKS SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING :) you make me flyyyy (sorry, that's a quote from Friends-which I am watching)

Did you watch PLL this week? AHH Toby is FINALLY in the next one! Hawtie.

I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I hope to clear up any discrepancies that were mentioned in reviews.
This chapter may seem filler-y and parts of it are because I am trying to hone in on how I think Spencer would react immediately afterwards.
For more Author's Note look at the end when you're finished reading!

Also the dress inside is the one she wore to the Father/Daughter dance.

Onto Chapter 4!

Spencer froze.

It was a dream, it had to be.

He wasn't sitting on her best friend's couch. He simply wasn't.

He wasn't sitting there in gray jeans and a white, long sleeved t-shirt that was just tight enough on his biceps. He wasn't sitting there with his not styled at all, yet perfect inch long hair. He wasn't sitting there staring at her with his ocean blue eyes that she so often got lost in during the years they were together. He was not sitting there with his strong jawline and dimple chin she kissed more times than she could count.

He just was not sitting there at all.

And then he stood as he spoke, "Spence..." and she knew he was real.

He was real and he was there and he spoke and the only thing Spencer could think to do was turn around and walk away.

So that was what she did.

She walked away so fast Hanna didn't catch up to her until she was outside of the apartment building.

"Spencer! Spencer!" her friend was calling after her.

Spencer heard her, but didn't bother to stop. She didn't stop until she was back in her car with the doors locked and she knew he couldn't get to her. Because he was real and she never expected him to be real like that again.

There was a knock on the window and Spencer jumped, still holding the wine bottle in her hand. She didn't know where the coffee went and she didn't care either.

She looked and saw Hanna staring back at her with an apologetic face so sincere Spencer couldn't help but unlock the door without having to be asked. Hanna got in quietly.

"That wasn't what it looked like," Hanna stated after a few moments of silence.

"He was real," Spencer simply whispered in return. "I-I I dreamed of that so many times, Han," she said with a buildup of liquid in her eyes. "Th-that he came back with this brilliant explanation an-and I ran into his arms and I lived happily ever after," she went on, her voice becoming hard. "But it was never real. That was real."

Hanna could only nod.

"Wh-why was that real?" Spencer questioned a crack in her tone. "Why was that real?!" she asked so loudly that Hanna jumped.

"Spencer," Hanna started and turned her body to face her friend. "I- the reason I asked you over was to tell you that... to tell you that-"

"That's he's back?" Spencer demanded to know, a stray tear falling. "And you decided to tell me that with him there?"

"No!" Hanna insisted with a shake of her head. "You were like over an hour early. He just- he came over to talk to me... and Caleb. Mostly Caleb. I am so sorry, Spencer, please believe me. I am so sorry," she repeated.

Spencer sniffled and held her face in her hands. "Why is he back?" she croaked.

"He's moving back. He told- well, Caleb told me that he finished school and he is starting a business or something. After that it turned into fighting and I haven't really gotten much information since then. I haven't wanted any, truthfully. He hurt you- no, he broke you and I didn't want to have any part of him moving back here but Caleb and him... they are still friends, Spencer, and I don't know if Caleb knows why everything went down the way it did, but," she stopped. "You weren't supposed to see him like that. I was going to tell you and take it from there. I told him that I was not happy with him coming back, but if he was going to he was not going to surprise you on the street or your apartment or something. That just is not fair. I've been trying to protect you, I swear," Hanna rambled on.

Spencer nodded. "I know," she whispered. Hanna was looking out for her, that she could tell.

Maybe if she was in a different state of mind she would have the energy to be mad, but for now all she could think about was the boy upstairs in her best friend's apartment with the ocean blue eyes and the dimple chin she wanted to kiss like she had so many times before.

They thought she was asleep hours later. She might have been for a while, she didn't know. Everything was a blur.

Hanna took her home, sent the SOS to the other two, and sat Spencer down on the couch with tea as if it could calm her.

She just sat on the couch, the tea in her hands until it turned cool, her mind racing.

He was back? He finished school? He had been in school full time? He had gone to Hollis on and off over the years, when he had the money to spare, but with no direction—just knowing he should further himself somehow. What was his degree in?

He was back. Why was he back? Was it because of her? Was she supposed to just forgive him and run into his arms and somehow everything would be okay again? He was starting a business? In what, construction? Did he even still do that?

He was back. What if he was back to tell her he found someone else, maybe a way to build a bridge between them? Because it was the respectful thing to do. Toby always wanted to do the respectful thing, it was just who he was. But he wasn't very respectful when he left, in the way he left. What if he moved her here and she had to see the bitch every day with the man she loved because she would always love him. She didn't know how not to love him, it was part of who she was.

She had been trying to find a way to make more room in her heart for someone else—so maybe she could find someone else she could be happy with like before with Toby. What if he already found a way to do that? It wasn't fair. He couldn't be the one to walk away and move on first.

She didn't want to cry. She hadn't cried yet. And she knew if she started it would be a while until she stopped. She was getting sick of crying over Toby Cavanaugh, but it never seemed like enough.

How could she still love him? How could a part of her still be in love with him after all he'd done, all he'd ruined? It wasn't fair. None of this was fucking fair. As soon as she is trying to get to a place to move on without him, to live life without him, really live, he comes back? Unfair.

But when had life ever been fair to Spencer? With the way her family was, with how her sister was, with how her brother lost his family, with how she lost Toby. As if all of a sudden it was going to start being fair.

They thought she was sleeping because when the tea went cold Hanna told her to lie down and gave her a blanket, unsure of what else to do. She had never been the nurturing one that was more Emily or even Aria. She loved her friend without a doubt and wanted to help, but she didn't know how. So right then with Spencer acting like a zombie she treated her like one until back up arrived. And when it had Spencer was asleep—not that she minded. A break from Spencer's mind was just what Spencer needed and sleep would do that.

"She's not going to want to eat, Aria," Hanna was saying.

"There isn't exactly a manual for this, Han! People eat when their stressed, maybe this is one of those times. What do you want to do?" the small brunette responded.

"I don't know! Take a bat to Toby's kneecaps?" Hanna replied. "Tie him up and let Spencer get in a few hits and force him to tell us what happened?"

"Hanna," Emily chimed in. "That is not only not helping, but not plausible," she insisted. "Toby's huge and none of us exactly have the strength to take him down."

"Yeah, because that is the problem with that plan," Aria retorted. "We can't take a bat to his kneecaps; we're not cronies of some bookie! We're here to help Spencer, not punish Toby. One problem at a time, okay?"

"I'm kind of here to punish Toby," Hanna insisted. "And help Spencer of course, but you're telling me if Toby was here and tied up you wouldn't take one swing after what he's done to her?" she asked.

"Can we please focus?" Emily spoke up again. "What are we going to do when Spencer wakes up?"

"Spencer is up," Spencer sighed as she sat up on the couch. "Hi, guys," she greeted her friends with a fake smile.

"Oh, sweetie," Aria crooned, coming to sit next to her and took a hand in hers. "How are you feeling?" she wondered.

Spencer shook her head and shrugged. "I don't even know," she answered honestly. "I'm sorry you had to pick up and come here like this," she added on softly.

"I mean this from the bottom of my heart, Spencer. Shut up," Aria stated. "We're your best friends, of course we came."

Emily nodded and took a seat on the other side of her. "We're just not exactly sure what to do," she said honestly.

"Me neither," Spencer agreed, running a hand through her long, brown hair. "I just- there are so many things I want to ask and so many things I am scared to know the answer to," she murmured. "I don't know what to do," she said, her eyes beginning to water. "Fuck, I'm sorry."

"Don't say you're sorry," Hanna stated. "You're allowed to cry. I know you don't like to show it, but with us you're allowed to feel anything, okay?" she said and Spencer nodded, trying to smile, but couldn't quite manage it. "We got you food. Pizza and some other wonderful greasy things, your favorites from the Grille," she offered.

"Thanks," Spencer sniffled, trying to keep her feelings in check. She wasn't hungry, but if she ate something, anything, she knew her friends would at least feel like they were helping her somehow. Them being there was enough for her, but they needed proof of it. "I-I'm not ready to talk about it yet. I've barely been able to think straight since I saw him so," she stopped. "Maybe we can just watch a movie? Something to get my mind off of it."

"Whatever you want," Emily agreed and squeezed her hand.

She wanted to cry. She wanted to cry all over them. She wanted to scream and shout and ask why. She wanted to throw things, break everything, set fire to the box of his things in her closet. For a moment Hanna's plan sounded amazing—tying Toby up and taking a couple swings. But she could never do that, at least not in that way.

He was tangible now, able to be touched, smelt, looked at, all of it. It would be a lie if she said she didn't imagine the dream coming to life. The dream where he came back with some brilliant explanation of why he left and she ran into his arms and he kissed her so thoroughly her knees gave out and they lived happily ever after. She dreamed it, she wished it, and now that he was here she couldn't bear to be in the same room with him again, at least not yet.

Because she couldn't just run into his arms. Because there wasn't any excuse for doing what he did to her. Because even if she could forgive she couldn't forget and walking into his arms right now was not an option, even if her body was longing to.

Even after all of it she wanted to touch him, to kiss him, to feel him, but she was stronger than that. She had more pride than that and knew she deserved better than to just see him and say it was all okay because it wasn't okay. The pain he caused her, the heartache so deep her body hurt too, it deserved more than just a simple apology.

Spencer let the other three pick the movie. She didn't know if she was even able to pay attention to it, but she hoped she could. She ate a little, just for her friends benefit.

They ended up choosing some scary movie on Netflix. Aria always jumped at the littlest thing during those movies and Spencer usually loved to watch her friend's reactions just to laugh at them. Hanna usually talked all through it, saying how stupid all the people were and that was the reason they died. It was the bad movies on Netflix Spencer enjoyed most with her friends—those were the ones they could all talk through and still enjoy the film.

Maybe that was why they chose it, she didn't know. She was just so grateful for them being there, all four of them curled up together on her couch. It was as if they were her strength and she was drawing it in from them. They were her family and they always would be. Anybody else could come and go but these three girls were here to stay and there were no doubts about that.

And she was so thankful for that especially in those moments when her mind betrayed her with thoughts of Toby and how they used to be together, even when they weren't technically together yet.

How do you walk up to the boy you spent over two hours making out with the night before?

"Hey, I don't know about you, but my night was fantastic!" Spencer shook her head. "Hey sweet lips." Sweet lips? What? "I had fun with French last night, or should I say Frenching?" Ugh, with every new like she sounded like some pathetic frat boy, but she didn't know how to handle this.

She usually had more confidence than this with boys. She could flirt and smile at the right times, but with Toby she didn't want to play those dating games. It was so different with him, he treated her different.

With her last boyfriend Alex, it wasn't... butterfly inducing. She got excited to see him, sure, but not like Toby. Just standing there at the end of the hall while creepily watching him from around a corner gave her butterflies. She wanted to touch him, smell him; she wanted him to kiss her like he had the night before. Just staring at him with his head in the locker as he wore a pair of jeans, white t-shirt, and black leather jacket made her want to attack him in a janitor's closet.

Alex always pushed for more. Within ten minutes his hands roamed, some of the top layers started coming off, and soon the kissing would stop and he wanted more. It was never forced, but it was never at her pace either.

Toby... Toby kissed her for more than two hours and no clothes came off. He kissed her for a half an hour before their tongues even came into play. He kissed her for two hours and his hands barely touched her butt. His hands moved alright, but they went from her hair to her neck to her sides and the small of her back.

He kissed her thoroughly, more thoroughly than she had ever been kissed before. It was like... like a lip orgasm or something.

She rolled her eyes at herself. That wasn't even a thing, but if it was Toby completely did it to her.

So how did she approach him? Because she wanted to talk to him, to touch him, to mangle his lips with hers. Ugh, what? He made her... not her, in a good way. He made her giggle and blush and want to push him down and take him right there in the hall.

She ran a hand through her hair. "There should be a freakin' instruction manual for this," she mumbled to herself.

How did something as innocent as tutoring him in French lead to her being afraid to talk to him in the hall at school? Oh right, they started to talk and become friends and spent an innocent night in a hotel room together playing Scrabble and accidentally snuggling as they slept and his chest was drool worthy and drool worthy like that did not happen to her. And then he kissed her and became an addiction, one she didn't want to quit.

"What are you doing?"

Spencer shrieked and turned. "Aria!" she exclaimed. "Don't sneak up on me like that."

"I didn't know I was sneaking! Sorry, geez, what are you doing?" her dark haired friend wondered.

"I, um," Spencer started. "I don't know," she finished with a groan.

Aria looked behind her. "Oh, Toby watch, got it. By the way, I think he heard you scream because he's heading this way," she informed her.

Spencer's eyes widened. "What?"She turned just in time to come in contact with his chest. "Toby, hi!" she greeted.

"Bye Spencer, see you in third period," Aria called as she walked away. Spencer wanted to at least pinch her.

Toby leaned against the wall, his backpack sac over one shoulder. How did someone so genuinely good somehow look bad ass at the same time? "Hey Spence."

Spencer swallowed the butterflies in her throat. "H-Hi," she repeated in a breathy voice. "I- how was your night?" she asked and he grinned. "I meant after, you know, we," she stopped.

"It was boring," Toby answered. Spencer's eyes widened in fright. "After I left your place," he added on.

She visibly relaxed. "I- me too. Did homework, stuff like that, you know me."

Toby nodded, his eyes honing in on hers. Spencer's heart jumped to her throat. "Do you want to study tonight?" he questioned. She opened her mouth to answer, but he cut her off. "I mean, I loved last night, but I am still failing French so... we should probably do that. At least for a while."

Spencer smiled. "Deal. Maybe you can get a reward for pronouncing all your verbs correct," she suggested, getting control of her bearings.

Toby grinned back at her. "I will study before I come over," he promised. "Just so I nail those pronunciations."

"Good. I'll make you fluent yet, Cavanaugh," she insisted.

"What're your feelings on slight PDA, Hastings?" he questioned, stepping closer.

Her eyes lowered. "How slight?" she whispered.

Toby moved in and pressed his lips to hers so lightly it was barely a kiss before he pulled away.

"I- too slight," she protested, grabbing onto his shirt and pulled him to her.

He smiled into the kiss and wrapped his arms around her waist.The bell rang above them and Spencer groaned when they parted.

"Can I walk you to class?" he asked, his arms still wrapped around her.

Spencer blushed for an unknown reason and nodded. "Of course."

She didn't care if people were staring, wondering why they were together or were whispering behind their backs.

Toby made her happy. He was polite and kind and- he said "God bless you" when she sneezed and that was someone worth keeping. He opened doors for her, walked ahead of her in the hall to take the brunt of the masses. He made her feel comfortable like no one had before and she wouldn't care if people pointed at her.

Toby made her happy. She wanted Toby.

She missed how simple it used to be. She wanted to be with him so she was. She loved him so she said it, well he said it first. He made her happy so she was. Everything was so complicated now. She missed the simplicity. Her life was full of complications with her parents and job and life, he brought out the simplicity in her, he was her rock.

Now she was lying awake in the middle of the night as her friends slept wishing for simplicity in her complicated life.

-:-:-:-

When Spencer woke up in the middle of the afternoon Hanna's ass was in her face, Aria had stolen the bottom of her blanket to warm her own feet, and Emily was snoring.

She laughed at the irony. She had missed this yesterday, but right now her feet were cold, she moved away from her friend's behind, and wished she could throw a pillow at the girl two body's down.

For a moment she thought it could have all been a dream. Seeing him, being in the same room with him, hearing her nickname pour from his lips. She shivered at the sound of his voice or the memory of his voice, at least. For a while though it was like she forgot it. She once read that voice is the first thing you lose from your memory when "forgetting" someone.

She was torn from her thoughts by a phone ringing. Hanna's phone, of course. All these years later and Hanna was still the "popular" one of the group.

The blonde rolled, effectively putting her ass in Spencer's face again, causing her to groan. "Yeah?" she answered the phone. "Spencer's. I don't know, maybe," all the girls listened in on the one-sided conversation. "Well maybe you should have thought about that when- oh yes you did! She needs all of us right now, Caleb. I think you can deal on your own for one more night."

Spencer hated that she was causing problems for the two. She loved them both and they shouldn't be in the middle of her drama, but knew Hanna wouldn't have that. She would insert herself in it if need be, especially for her friends.

"Me neither," Hanna continued. "Yes. I said yes, didn't I? The can opener is in the drawer with- no, the one next to the sink. The other side of the sink, Caleb! Yes. I'll call you later. Love you too." She groaned as she hung up. "We've lived together for months and he still doesn't know where shit is."

"Neither does Emily," Aria spoke up.

"What? I do too!" the snorer cut in.

"How you feeling, girl?" Hanna asked, turning over to face her.

"Better if you would keep your private parts out of my face," she answered honestly. "All night it's your ass, in the morning it's your boobs. We should just call this a three way relationship and let Caleb know I am part of the deal," she joked and all the girls laughed.

"You love it!" Hanna stated, pushing her breasts in Spencer's face. "But I always thought it would be Emily to do that," she teased with a wink sent the girl's way.

"Oh, I'm in on it," the girl replied, lunging over Aria to attack the other two.

Aria laughed and groaned at the same time. "Now I have Emily's vagina in my face!"

"Better tell Caleb it's a five some," Emily stated, moving to lay her head on Hanna's side and her legs on Aria.

Spencer smiled at her friends. "Who are we kidding, we're the four some and he's the odd ball out." All the girls nodded and laughed.

Convinced that it would make Spencer feel better after an all day "bonding sesh" Hanna suggested they go out. Spencer surprisingly agreed. She wanted to have fun with her friends, it was their first full weekend together in forever and she could think about Toby later. In fact, she was sure she would think about Toby later, so why not try and get her mind off of it now?

She changed her mind when Hanna chose Thorn—the new bar/latest place to be in town. They had come to a deal, if Spencer spent an hour and a half without complaining at Thorn they could go the Brew afterwards and get coffee and just hang out since it was open way late on Saturdays.

It felt like college all over again. Although usually Hanna could get Toby on her side and they would go out and she would have a great time. The only thing she was looking forward to was the alcohol. She wasn't one to drink all the time, but with her week and especially her yesterday she couldn't wait to get a few drinks in.

"This dress is horrible," Spencer insisted as they walked up to their destination.

"Was that a complaint?" Hanna questioned, turning on her.

"No!" Spencer said with wide eyes. "It's a comment because you put me in YOUR dress." Hanna disappeared for over an hour earlier in the night and came back with a gray, shimmery, faux leather dress that she insisted would look "perfect" on Spencer and she just had to try it on.

She had to admit, it did look good on her, it just wasn't something she was feeling to wear that night. The dress went mid-thigh, ruffled out in a few layers over her breasts before turning into the faux leather to go down her stomach. She left her hair down in loose curls with light, smoky make up and gray heels.

The blonde nodded. "A dress that is too tight on me and fits you like a glove. You look amazing so shut up!"

Aria nodded. "She is right," she agreed. "I mean, you look hott."

Spencer groaned and followed her friends with a frown on her face. She didn't smile until they reached the bar and she stayed there for over half an hour before her friends decided that was not the place for her anymore.

"You sit here and we will order you a soda or something," Emily suggested, helping Spencer up onto the high chair. "Nice job, Han," she grumbled a moment later.

"What? She's happy, isn't she?" Hanna responded with a grin.

"She's three drinks away from puking all over your shoes," Aria corrected. "She's almost more of a light weight than me."

"Almost," Spencer agreed and took another sip of her mixed drink.

"Give me that," Aria said and took the drink from her.

Spencer frowned. "Aria!" She reached for it, but Aria held it away from her.

"Geez, what is this? Straight vodka?" Aria asked after taking a whiff. Spencer shrugged with a sheepish grin. "When she is yakking tonight, you're the one taking care of her," she informed Hanna who scoffed.

"Spencer?" she heard next to her and so she turned, although much slower than usual. "Spencer, hey," the man greeted.

She smiled. "Andrew! Guys, its Andrew!" Spencer greeted and grabbed his arm to look through hers. "Andrew, these are my guys, Hanna and Aria... there is another one, Emily, but she went to get me something non-alcoholic to drink," she introduced.

"Andrew, nice to meet you," Hanna said with a knowing smile. "I've heard a LOT about you," she insisted.

Andrew turned pink and Spencer laughed. "I have too, about you, I mean. I heard about you and your boyfriend in Spencer's cabin," he joked back, fully aware of Hanna's subtle teasing

Never one to embarrass Hanna just smiled with a nod. "One of my finer moments, eh Spencer?" she asked with a wink.

Spencer grinned. "Do you wanna go get a drink with me Andrew?" she asked, hopping down off the chair and tripped slightly, causing Andrew to catch her. "My friend took mine away and hasn't come back yet."

"I- yes, sure," he answered.

She ignored Aria's tug of her other arm and went with Andrew towards the bar. She didn't spot Emily anywhere and with no one around to stop her she ordered another mixed drink that was more alcohol than non.

"It's funny running into you here. I didn't think this was your scene," Andrew mentioned once they ordered.

Spencer exaggeratedly nodded. "Yeah, my friends decided to take me out. I'm having fun though, aren't you?" she attempted to flirt.

"Yeah, yeah, I am just out with a few friends, getting a few beers, you know," he answered.

Spencer tilted her head up at him. He was about as tall as Toby, but more bulky with blue-green eyes. His chin wasn't as defined and he had zero chin dimple. She loved Toby's chin dimple.

He must have thought she was staring in more than just a drunken analyzation because all of a sudden his lips were on her and she gasped a little. He took it as a good thing and continued to kiss her. Spencer's eyes widened as his tongue entered her mouth and she pulled away after another moment.

She busied herself by taking a sip of her drink that had appeared while they were kissing, she assumed.

"I, um," Andrew started, embarrassed.

Spencer shook her head. "No, you're fine," she assured him, but wasn't sure if she was. Was she only going to ever kiss Andrew when she was drinking? And each time was it just going to remind her of how Toby used to make her feel because she didn't feel it with him?

Andrew awkwardly took a swig of his own drink.

Spencer looked across the bar and finally spotted Emily, but she wasn't alone. She was with Caleb... and Toby. She looked like she was fighting with them, more so Caleb than Toby and that confused her. Why was she more mad at Caleb? Shouldn't Toby be the one she was mad at?

All of a sudden Toby backed up with his hands in surrender and went to exit the bar. "I, uh, I will be right back," Spencer excused herself and took off across the bar, moving faster than she should have been if she was past tipsy.

She also had no idea what she was doing. Why was she following Toby? Yesterday- hell, earlier today all she wanted to do was forget him and wish she hadn't seen him the night before.

"What are you doing here?" she questioned loudly, ignoring slight chill in the early spring air. Toby froze mid-step. "Yes, it is me talking to you. What are you doing here?" she asked and he turned around. She focused on the ground and only spoke again when his shoes came into her vision. "And I don't mean here, as in the bar, I mean Rosewood."

It was then she let herself look at him. He was only in a black t-shirt and blue jeans, but somehow his blue eyes shone through the darkness. They were in the back alley of the bar with no one around. He was staring right back at her and she felt herself shiver.

"Don't make me ask you again," she stated.

"Go back inside, Spencer," he simply answered.

She shook her head. "Not until I get my answer. What are you doing here? Is it about that business Hanna said you were starting? Why here?"

"I'm not going to do this with you right now. Please go back inside," he insisted.

"You- you're not going to do this with me right now? Really?" she continued, her anger flaring. "Well, when will I be worth your time, Toby? When I run into you on the street, maybe at the grocery store? Just let me know when I can finally get some fucking answers around here," she said, the alcohol fueling her anger.

"Spencer, not now, okay? You've been drinking, just go back inside and let your friends take care of you," he pleaded, stepping closer.

"No!" she exclaimed. "You can't just come back here like this, like it's no big deal, you're not allowed," she insisted. "So tell me, why are you here? Did you meet some girl out in the big city or wherever you were and come back here to marry her?"

Toby looked like he would have laughed if she wasn't trying to pick a fight with him. "What? No. Spencer, please just go back in-"

"Stop telling me what to do!" she exploded, pushing his chest, causing him to stumble backwards a little. "You don't get to come back and try to take care of me or-or pawn me off on someone else so they can do it. I have been taking care of myself for the past two damn years and I've been doing just fine," she told him.

Toby's jaw clenched. "Fine, you can take care of yourself, just go back in and do whatever you want so I can leave."

"I kissed another guy tonight," Spencer found herself admitting.

His hands turned into fists. "Spencer-"

"And it wasn't the first time either. I did the other night too, in my apartment, on the couch," she went on. "He's a good guy, you know. Someone my parents would approve of, a lawyer with nice, church-going parents."

"Then why don't you go back inside and be with him?" he asked, trying not to let his anger get the best of him. He couldn't do this, not here, not like this.

"Because he isn't you!" she just about yelled. "It's been two fucking years and all that I can do is think about you and it's not fair," she went on, pushing on his chest again. "And then you just come back and look like you and you still-" she stopped herself and turned around to hide her tears from him.

She felt him behind her. "Spencer, please, just go inside, okay? We- we'll talk later," he pleaded softly.

Spencer wiped her eyes and turned only to find him right behind her. Another inch and they would've been touching. "How can you come back and make me feel like you did before, like nothing ever happened?" she asked quietly, looking up into his eyes. Toby just pursed his lips and looked down at her. "I-I kissed that guy and I felt nothing. I've made out with him and just felt guilty. And- and you just come back and stand close to me and I feel more than I have in years," she whispered. "Why?"

"I don't know, Spence, but we can't-"

She stopped him by tugging on his neck and brought his lips down to hers.

Okay so I hate the second half of this chapter, I kind of like the last parts with Toby... I don't know, none of it just seemed to come out right.

Anyways, do you like?
I tried to channel Spencer the best I could. I think she would want to be in denial a bit, at least in the beginning.
The next chapter will be Toby POV-ish.

Review please, I feel horrible about this chapter :(

- Kay