The silences in the truck on the way back to Heartland was loud and empty. It rang in Amy's ears until the sound drowned out everything else and it was just her and the memory of the horses. The sight of them, the smell of the urine and manure, the dryness in her throat, and dust in the air. It was vivid and clear, like the pain. Deliberate and direct, like a blade had found its mark imbedded in her chest. Seeing them suffer was painful, and she was forced to leave them like that, hurt, abused, and left to dehydrate in the heat. It was wrong, wrong in so many ways. Maybe her grandpa was right that they couldn't do anything without breaking the law, but he was still wrong to leave them like that, to just abandon them. She knew she had to do something.
She exited the truck the moment its tires stopped. She felt trapped in hurt and disappointment, it was swallowing her and she had to escape into the fresh, empty air. She let it fill her lungs as the sun began to melt away her grief for the mustangs. Jack and Ty's footsteps crunched in the gravel behind her and she walked away from them quickly, heading for the barn. She needed to be alone, to hear her own thoughts clearly, to untwist the emotions pulling at her.
Ty watched Amy walk away wondering just how much she was hurting. How much pain did it take to drive her away? He knew she was strong. She displayed her strength everyday in the way she pressed through the grief of her mother's death. There were times Ty could see it hitting her like waves. Washing away a smile, stifling a laugh, dragging away the light from her eyes. But instead of letting it drown her, she always took a breath and fought through it. She was strong. But if any part of her was weak it was horses. In them she poured out all the feelings she didn't share with people, and she loved them. Enough to where it endangered her. Their pain hurt her too much, their suffering was more than she could take. That's why she was so good at what she did. Why she could save the ones everyone else counted as lost. She couldn't give up, couldn't let them go. That's also why Ty knew she was probably already broken. And he wanted to help her, to somehow fix her, but he couldn't.
Jack noticed the way Ty's eyes followed Amy. He saw the longing in them, the desire to go to her, to comforter her. But he knew his granddaughter. When her pain became too much of a burden she didn't share it. She didn't let anyone help carry it. She let it collapse over her and consume her. Then she would push away any possible help because she was afraid if people saw her weakness, somehow it would make her even weaker. Jack knew Amy wouldn't want Ty, of all people, to see her upset.
And he was also too fond of Ty to let him get hurt. He didn't want him to feel like he was being cut off, or shut out. He had experienced too much of that in his young life already. He stepped nearer to Ty until he could reach him, and then rested his hand of his shoulder. Ty finally pulled his eyes away from Amy onto Jack's face. The older man gave a small smile.
"Just give her some time. She'll come around." he said. Ty nodded. But he was still convinced that she wouldn't be, not until the horses where safe. "I'm going to have a chat with the police," Jack said. With a gentle hand he gave Ty a squeeze on the shoulder before walking away.
Amy rested her chin on the wood of Spartan's stall, letting the smell of pine fill her nose. Her horse came to her and nosed her hair and face, looking for handouts. When he found no treats he just stood there in front of her. She reached out until her fingers touched him, and then drug them down his face. She slide her hand down his smooth neck, and ran her fingers through his mane. When she had first seen him it had been evening, just before the sun disappeared. He had been thin and filthy, his hair matted with mud. He skin sunk into his ribs, and clung to his hips. Fly bitten sores had covered various places on his body, and his head had hung low, his nose almost touching the dirt. He was weak and broken, body and spirit. At that moment Amy had fallen in love with him. Instant and unexplainable. It wasn't because he was beautiful and strong, like she saw him now, but because he wasn't. Her heart had broken for him, and the broken pieces had found their way to Spartan's, and had attached to his, twisted and interlock together. There was no separating them. She loved him.
That night she had saved him, and had lost her mother too. In that one night everything changed. Her mom had been scared. She would never have said it, and Amy had missed it too. She had only seen the strength and commitment her mother had shown. But now distanced by time, Amy could see that she'd been wrong. Marion had been scared that night. She could remember seeing fear in her mother's eyes. She remembered hearing doubt in her voice. But dedication and love for one horse had over shadowed it, had became more important. Amy felt a need to do the same. She had to put aside her fear and save the mustangs. They couldn't die.
"We're not giving up on them Amy," Ty's voice sounded behind her. She turned her head over her shoulder and saw him standing only a few feet behind her with his hands shoved awkwardly in his pockets. She hadn't even heard him come in the barn. His face looked as serious as she'd ever seen it, wiped of all his usual sarcasm, and no joke on his tongue. He rarely took things seriously when he should, and often joked when he shouldn't. But now he looked her in the eyes, and wore an expression that was determined to convince her, to ease her mind.
"We're not going to abandon them," he said.
"If we wait, it could be too late," she countered. She grateful for Ty's encouragement, but unwilling to leave it at that.
"That's not going to happen," he said, but he didn't know why. He couldn't promise that. Not if he did nothing.
"You don't know that," Amy whispered, like she was speaking only to herself. Like she was trying to remind herself of this truth, not him.
"It could have been Spartan," she said looking back at her horse, her hand absentmindedly stroking him. "Who knows where he would have gone, or what would have happened to him." She couldn't stop herself from comparing them. Spartan had been more damaged then the mustangs where, but that was only because he had longer to suffer, longer to break. Time had eaten away at him, and it had taken so much time to put him back together, to heal him, to nurse the flame in him back to life. Amy knew if the mustangs where left in the condition they where in, they would become worse, weaker and more scarred, just like Spartan had been when she found him. And if she did nothing, they would become unfixable, or die.
Ty felt fear surface inside of him again. She was going to do something reckless. He saw it swimming in her eyes, pushed forward by the pain she felt for them.
"You'll get hurt," he said suddenly, his worry controlling his words. Amy's eyes shot opened and realization appeared in them. He knew, he knew what she was going to do. But how? How did he know her so well? She searched his eyes, looking for any sign that he'd misspoken, that he didn't really know. But all she saw where her own plans laid out in his eyes, like a mirror reflecting her thoughts. He knew.
"Ty," she started to say, but was stopped.
"Amy, listen to me. This is a bad idea. Trust me, I would know," he finished quietly, with regret in his voice. Amy suddenly felt guilt pull on her chest. She knew Ty had made mistakes, he had told her of his past. And now she was rejecting authority, disobeying reason, and putting herself in danger, the very things that had messed up his life. Now he had to watch her do it too, afraid it would get her hurt like it had him.
He didn't know how to portray the emotions he felt, to express the depth of them with just words. They seemed too shallow and empty compared to the strength of his feelings. How could she possible know how much he feared for her, how mush he wanted to protect her if all he could use were words? They weren't enough. He needed something to push them deeper, until she heard them. He reached out until his hands were gripping her shoulders, clinging to her.
"Amy, please," he begged. He could only hope she could feel the desperation through his finger tips. That she could sense the fear in his shaking voice. That she could understand the plead in his eyes. His hands pressed harder into the skin of her shoulders like it would press reason into her. His eyes were begging her to listen, but reflecting back at him was only determination. Saving them was a need, a have to, like it was a life source she couldn't abandon. This was something she had decided she had to do. So in that one moment, without a word spoken, he made a decision as well. He was going too.
"When?" he asked.
Surprise shined in her eyes. Relief filled her, followed by more guilt. She couldn't drag him into this.
"You don't have to come," she said.
"I'm not letting you do this alone," he told her, his words final and complete. He wasn't going to let her get hurt, not before he had done everything he could to keep her safe. "When?" he repeated the question.
"After dark," was her answer.
Ty leaded against his truck, hidden in its shadow. It was dark, but the full moon cast a showing glow over everything. He was careful to stay out of sight as he waited for Amy to come out of the house. He had wanted to leave her behind, to leave without her knowing. It would spare her danger and possible harm. He felt a desire to protect her, and to do whatever it took to keep her safe. He couldn't identify these feelings, but they were the same ones that made him want to be around her, that pulled him near. He would be able do it alone. He wasn't a stranger to this kind of thing. Past mistakes had made him skilled in ways he wasn't proud of even though he knew they would aid him tonight. But Amy would never forgive him if he left her. He was willing to face her anger to keep her safe. But there was something else, something in her, she had to see them saved. She wouldn't be whole until she was there and saw it. He looked up when he heard her coming. She was walking swiftly towards him, glancing back at the dark house.
"Grandpa's asleep," she said as soon as she was close enough to be heard in a whisper. Guilt sat on her face for a moment before she shrugged it off. She couldn't think about him.
The intense summer heat had only cooled slightly when the sun set. Little of the warmth was chased away by the darkness, and Ty could see sweat already shining on Amy's skin. 'Ready?" he asked. She nodded. They climbed into Ty's truck, easing the doors shut as quietly as possible. Once the engine was started, Ty pulled away quickly to hide the sound from unwanted ears. They remained quiet until they were a few minutes down the road.
"What's your plan?" Ty broke the silence. Amy looked at him hesitantly.
"We can let them out, then chase them away so they wouldn't be caught again," she said simply.
"What if someone's there," Ty was forced to reason. They couldn't jump into this without knowing what they were getting themselves into.
"We'll wait for them to leave," she answered.
"And if they don't?" "We'll wait for them to go to sleep, or something," she said not entirely sure. Ty glanced at her, doubt in his eyes.
"We have to try Ty. We can't just let them die." Amy said, answering his silent question, was this worth the risk? Ty glanced from the road to her, his eyes filling with just her face. Shadows wrapped most of her body in darkness, but her eyes were glowing from the moonlight reflecting in them. She looked worry, and scared, and determined.
"I know," he said.
"We're getting close," Ty said as they neared the familiar driveway. "We'll stop here." he pulled his truck as far to the side of the road as possible, where the trees formed a black space to hide in. Quietly the two crept their way along the woods until the barn and then house came into view. Amy moved slowly forward but was stopped when fingers wrapped around her arm and pulled her down to the ground.
"Hold on," Ty whispered glancing around them.
"There's no one here," Amy said just loud enough to be heard, looking at the black house and barn against the dark blue sky. Everything was still and silent, dry and empty. Ty shifted his eyes from one unmoving thing to another, scanning for any disturbance. Slowly he nodded in agreement. It seemed to be clear of anyone. Amy stepped forward again only to have Ty's grip on her arm tighten.
"Amy wait," he whispered, "I'll let the horses out, you stay here." He hoped somehow she would listen to him this time.
"I'm going with you," she answered immediately without even considering his suggestion, like she hadn't really heard what he said.
"Please," Ty said, searching her eyes for agreement, "Just let me do this."
"I'm going to help," Amy said, her voice strong, unrelenting. Ty's heart raced under his ribs. She had to listen. She didn't realized how dangerous this was.
"Amy, I" he stammered, forcing the words out, "I don't want you to get hurt." The fear behind them made it hard to speak. "Please," he whispered again, quieter than necessary. The word felt like it was pushed out of his mouth by air. He was desperate.
Amy looked at Ty, not towards him, at him, in his eyes, at his face. Her confidence began to recede back into her body, and doubt quickly stole its place. For the first time she could remember, he looked scared. All his strength and confidence striped away, leaving his eyes wide and full of hesitation. But it wasn't for himself. He was trying to protect her. A feeling of heat build inside of her at that recognition. It felt almost too hot, like it would burn her. She couldn't tell if it was gratefulness or maybe contentment? Was the part that was too hot, the part that was uncomfortable guilt? Or was it something else new and wakening for the first time? It couldn't matter now though, she quickly decided.
"I'm not going to get hurt. We are going to go down there and let the horses out. Nothing's going to happed." She was far less confident that she sounded, and had to swallow to calm the lurching of doubts and fear swimming in her stomach. Ty's eyes dropped.
"If we get caught-"
"we won't Ty," she insisted. His tense muscles collapsed in defeat and disappointment. He couldn't make her stay.
"Then stay by me," he said eyeing her, refusing to move until she promised. She nodded.
"Let's go," he said quietly as he stepped forward. His hand, which was still holding her arm, slide down her skin, sticky with sweat in the heat, and reached her hand. Without either noticing, their fingers locked around each other's, and their palms pressed together. Their bodies moved in sync as they stepped out of the woods into the open space and ran to the barn. The presser of their hands clasp together pressed confidence back into them. It pressed away the fear. The heat of their touching skin, though unnoticed, was a constant reminder that they weren't alone. They had each other.
Once inside the barn, they moved quickly, with a since of purpose that urged their steps. A smell, thick with pneumonia choked them even after they opened the back doors, which would lead the mustangs away, to freedom. Amy ran to the first stall and unlatched the door, pulling it open wide. Unaware that they where released, the horses inside didn't move.
"Amy, we have to hurry," Ty whispered.
"They'll go, just give them a second," she said. As if cued by her words, the first mustang stepped out, and then darted outside. The others immediately followed. One by one Amy and Ty opened the stalls, watching the horses gallop out, escaping to freedom. "Hurry," Ty urged again.
"Just one more," Amy whispered in excitement as she ran to the furthest stall. Her fingers where just about to pull open the latch when she heard them. Voices, just outside the door, clear, close, and unavoidable. Her heart dropped into her stomach. Fear burned inside of her like fire, and her face flushed with panic. Terror climbed from the inside of Ty's heart out, ripping it apart. His muscles tighten in horror. They were trapped.
Please review! I would love to know what you think. Again, thank you to all that has reviewed, followed or favorited so far. And thanks so much for reading. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Next one should be up soon.