A New Life Chapter 4: All the Small Things… Angelic Shadow, an evangelion fanfic

A New Life (LD Edition)
Chapter 4: All the Small Things… / Angelic Shadow
By: Lord Legato Deathscythe

Disclaimer: see part 1

"Things after that weekend returned to something resembling normal. As far as the school was concerned, NERV had decided that it would be better for us to be home schooled. Security matters were the perfect cover to keep unwanted eyes off us. We just studied, performed sync tests, went through combat training exercises, and somehow found time through all of that to be the children we were."

Shinji stopped for a moment and sipped his tea. It was a sordid affair, but it was somehow one of the happier times of his life. Not many good things had happened to Shinji or Asuka in their younger years. While the change itself was a living nightmare, there was some good to be found in those memories. Most of them were memories of a time when his best friend had been there through everything.

"Then about a month and a half later it happened… and dear God am I glad I changed back. Just thinking of that day is enough to remind me why I never made jokes about that."

Yui sat up and looked at her father, puzzled. "What happened?"

"The same thing that happened to you at that age. My new body decided that it was time for me to become a woman."

Yui got comfortable, because this was going to be good. It would probably explain why Dad was always so easy to talk to when it came to those kinds of woman troubles.

Touji had convinced Shinji to go with him to the mall. He knew that Shinji had been spending more time hold up in her room, and thought it would be good to get her out for a while for something not related to NERV. Besides, he wanted to buy something for his sister Mariko.

Shinji however wasn't looking so well.

"Touji, I have to sit for a bit. I haven't been feeling too well the past couple of days. I don't know what it could be," Shinji explained as she at one of the benches along the walkway.

"Have you seen one of the NERV docs about it?"

"No, it's probably just something I ate," Shinji replied. It was true that her stomach had felt extremely bad. Nausea had been her constant companion for the past two days.

Today was no exception.

Shinji put her hand over her mouth and moved to get up.

"Touji, I got to go to the bathroom. Now!" Shinji said with a gasp as she scrambled to her feet and fled to the nearest restroom hoping to make it to the toilet before her lunch came back to her.

There wasn't much Touji could do except feel stupid. He should have known better then to make Shinji come out in public at all. So he just sat there and waited for Shinji to return.

He waited for a long time.

Maya had just finished up in the toilet and was washing her hands and checking her makeup. Granted, she wasn't with anyone, but you never knew when you might run into a cute guy. Despite the rumor about her and Dr. Akagi, Maya Ibuki was as straight as an arrow.

A young girl running through the bathroom and into one of the stalls, only to throw up a few seconds later, catching the young lieutenant's attention. The sound of a person's last meal haunting them in the worst way followed.

"Excuse me, are you alright miss?" Maya asked as she walked towards the poor girl.

She was answered by the sound of some violent nausea. Maya didn't want to leave the young girl alone, so she went in and started pulling the girls hair from her face and holding it back.

That's when Maya realized who it was. She didn't say anything, instead choosing to just sit there next to the Third Child and ran her hand over Shinji's back. After Shinji finally emptied what was left of her stomach she curled up, holding her abdomen.

Shinji had never known pain like this on a physical level outside of an Evangelion before. It was so horrible all she wanted to do was curl up and try to forget it ever existed. It felt as if her intestines were twisting around inside and being pulled at like taffy. She thought throwing up would have made things a bit better, but she only felt worse and to add insult to injury… she was now starting to shake. Sweat started dripping from her brow as she tried to deal with the pain.

It was pure, unadulterated agony.

"Shinji, it's going to be all right. Just try to relax, okay?" Maya said as she looked through her purse. She had a good idea what was causing the poor girl's problems.

Shinji heard the voice, and didn't care who it was right then. All she cared about was making the pain stop. Every time she moved it got worse, so bad it felt like she was about to be torn apart.

Relaxing sounded like it might be the best option. Remaining motionless lessened the pain to the point that Shinji could open her eyes a bit and see Maya handing her some pills. Shinji took them and swallowed as Maya got her a cup of water. When handed it, Shinji took the water and drank what she could while Maya helped her off the cold tile floor.

When Shinji was sitting with her back against the stall Maya grabbed some tissue and started cleaning the teenager up.

"Shinji, what are you doing out here?" Maya asked. She didn't want to push Shinji too far, and honestly Maya wouldn't know how to reprimand a teen if her life depended on it.

Which, right now, it didn't.

"I came here with Touji. We were going to get something for his sister. I didn't think I was this sick, just some bad fish or something," Shinji answered, her voice strained and tired.

Maya just shook her head. Of course Shinji wouldn't know anything about this sort of thing.

"I'm going to take you home. Just wait here for a bit and I'll go get Touji. Then when we get to the apartment I'll get you situated and call Misato. You'll probably feel more comfortable talking about this with her. Trust me, you aren't sick." Maya said, and then got up to go find Touji.

"What do you mean?" Shinji asked. "I have to be sick if I'm feeling this bad."

Maya bent back down, a caring smile one her face as she placed a hand on Shinji's cheek. "You're not sick Shinji. This is just one of those things all women have to go through in their lives. I suppose you don't even have any pads. Well, I carry some in case of an emergency so I guess you're lucky."

Maya pulled out one of the pads from her purse and gave Shinji a quick and dirty explanation about what needed to be done.

Shinji turned a bright red color from the embarrassment. It wasn't just embarrassment though. Everything Maya told her about what was happening absolutely disgusted the Third Child. Women actually have to do this?

Shinji tried to forget about that for a while, and quietly dealt with the pain while Maya got up and went to find the young Mister Suzuhara.

Touji was worried.

Touji was very worried actually. Shinji had been in the restroom for at least twenty minutes, and Touji worried that she had been extremely ill. But he couldn't just waltz into the ladies room to check without being grabbed by a security guard.

The woman walking out of the restroom right then gave Touji an idea.

"Excuse me, miss?"

"Yes?" the woman asked.

"I was wondering if you could check for someone for me? She went in there a while ago and wasn't feeling too well. I'm starting to worry and I can't go get her. Could you check for me?" Touji asked.

Maya looked at the boy in front of her. Obviously Touji didn't recognize her, but that was understandable. They had only met once, and that was at one of Misato's parties.

Touji had been too busy arguing with Asuka to notice her at the time.

"Are you Touji?" Maya asked.

I guess Shinji asked her to come find me, Touji thought.

"Yeah, that's me."

"I'm Maya, I work with Shinji at NERV. Shinji isn't doing so well so I'm going to drive you both back to Misato's apartment," Maya said.

"So you know about the…?" Touji asked, wanting to make sure.

"I'm actually working with Dr. Akagi on the problem," Maya responded. They both left off what they were referring to – Touji because he didn't even like to think about it himself, and Maya because it was still technically classified.

"So, I'll go get Shinji and help her out. Then we'll get her back to the apartment and settled. That's pretty much my plan," Maya told the relieved teenager.

"Sounds good. I hope Shinji isn't too sick," Touji said, just as clueless as Shinji was.

"Touji, Shinji's not sick."

"Huh?"

"Shinji is suffering from… 'woman problems,' if you know what I mean," Maya said and left it at that.

The confused look on Touji's face told her that the boy had no idea what she was talking about. The young NERV tech couldn't help but chuckle at him.

"I suppose now's as good a time as any to figure it out. You are going to have to deal with women for the rest of your life, so you might as well learn how to deal with everything that comes with it."

Boys.

Maya and Touji helped Shinji up to the apartment. The poor girl, however, was feeling the worst she had ever felt in her life. Even including when her life used to be his life. Shinji just could shake the pain off. But there was more then a tug-o-war going on within her body's organs. Shinji was scared, confused, everything that a young girl going through her first period could be. The fact that Shinji used to be male however added a disturbing dimension to this.

As they walked into the apartment Asuka, who happened to be watching TV with Hikari at the time, looked up and saw the two bring in the bent over Third Child.

"What's wrong with you?" Asuka asked.

Suddenly Shinji burst out in the most emotional and angry display anyone could remember seeing from the usually timid pilot, "WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN ME ABOUT THIS?!" and ran off to the bathroom.

"It was the absolute worst thing I had ever felt in my entire life. The pain, uncertainty, and all of it wrapped in my male mind's disgust with the entire thing. I'm just glad it was Maya that found me and not some stranger. That would have been even worse. You are very lucky not to have had to worry about that, what with your mother and I pretty much knowing what we were doing."

Yui was suppressing some small amount of laughter. It might not have been funny at the time, but it sure amused her to hear how her father had been so clueless about the whole thing. And it gave her father a special perspective about what she had gone through at twelve. This entire story had also given Yui a new perspective on who her father had been. On who he had grown to become.

"Sounds like you had it pretty bad, Dad."

"I did. One of the things I was always grateful for when you were growing up was that your periods seemed to take more after your mother's than after mine. I was all twisted up inside and couldn't even move when that time of the month came. At least you and your mother could still do something. I was always laid up for at least three days."

Shinji drank a bit more tea and checked his watch, time for him to take his lithium.

"I'll be right back kiddo. Time to take my happy pills," Shinji said and stood up, going to take his medication.

While her father was up Yui took a chance to look at more of the pictures, each one an excursion into a hidden part of her parents past. Her mom hadn't made too bad looking of a guy, really. Even switched around as they were, Yui could recognize her parents out of their small group of friends.

It wasn't too hard with her mother: the red hair was a dead giveaway. And even then, the air of defiance and confidence she had always associated with Asuka Ikari was there. Her mother had been a strong woman, and had always loved her children. If anyone tried to get between Asuka and her daughters, they came away with the scars to prove you don't separate a mother and child. Yui wished her mother could have been there to see her baby when she was born.

Shinji walked back into the room, a plate of vegetables to snack on in his hands. She took a carrot stick as he sat done and bit into it as Yui took a piece of celery.

"Well, after that it was for the most part just a matter of sitting and waiting for it to be over. I just lay in bed with a warm pad over my belly and waited it out, getting up for food and going to the bathroom for the most part. Other then that not much happened, and it got slightly better each time I had to deal with it. But after a few days I was back in order for all intents and purposes, but then again you already know how that is," Shinji said.

Yui could see her father's mood shift immediately. It was the same sad look he had whenever he spoke of NERV or the war.

"Then we had to go in for the first Synch Test since the accident. Asuka and I didn't really want to go, but we had a duty to perform. And, honestly, it was something to take our mind off things for a bit. When we synched with the Eva, we had to clear our minds and focus solely on the connection. But the last time we had been in our entry plugs had been when the accident occurred. The results didn't make your mother very happy."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY SCORE IS DOWN TEN POINTS?!"

Asuka was livid, his face having gone red in anger at even the possibility that he had dropped in performance. Shinji, Rei and Asuka were still all in their plug suits as Dr. Akagi reviewed the results of their synch test.

"Both you and Shinji have shown a ten point drop in your synch ratios. This was expected due to recent events. I believe it has to do with the altered biochemistry of your brains and altered physiology due to the change the nano-probes caused. This is only temporary and you should be back to normal ratios within the next few weeks of testing. Aside from that, nothing else has changed. You should both go home and rest. As far as I can determine you are both doing as well as can be expected," Ritsuko concluded her voice as businesslike as always.

"How long are we stuck like this?" Shinji asked timidly. The Third Child wanted to be back to normal as soon as possible.

"Right now we are growing a new batch of nano-probes. It's a very delicate operation and extremely slow. There have been problems with the growth rate and programming. We're hoping we can recreate the accident and have you both back to normal within another four months," Ritsuko answered.

Asuka just sucked it up and set himself towards his goal of reclaiming his lost synch points. In a way that was all he thought about; not even the change had stopped Asuka's endless pursuit of being the best. It was his obsession.

The Children were dismissed and allowed to remove their plug suits. Asuka went into the male locker room and got ready to disrobe as Shinji went into the female locker room. Asuka didn't really mind it too much; the male locker room was completely empty except for him. It gave him the privacy he had been missing since coming to Japan. Shinji on the other hand was horribly embarrassed having to change next to Rei.

Her insecurity had not been unnoticed by Rei, who found it rather puzzling. Ikari should not be uneasy around her, as she had previously seen her naked. And now that Ikari was also female the embarrassment was completely unfounded in her mind. Perhaps she would ask Commander Ikari to help her understand this.

Shinji just went about changing into her street clothes after Rei left.

When Shinji left the locker room, she found Asuka had been waiting for her. In fact Asuka had a rather irritated expression on his face. He stood there impatiently tapping his foot on the ground as Shinji walked towards him.

"Took you long enough. I was starting to think you were doing some perverted things to that body you've got now," Asuka said, however thinking about those "perverted things" came back to haunt the Second Child.

"DAMNIT! Why can't I keep this thing under control?!" He screamed as "Little Asuka" decided that he was interested in something.

"It could be worse I suppose."

"Oh and how could it possibly get any worse then this, Third Child?!"

Just then, a loud siren began to resonate throughout the halls of NERV, and Asuka was about to find out just how bad 'bad' could get.

"Asuka, are you there yet?" Shinji asked. She had been the first in position and had sighted the angel. It sat in the sky like a black marble, streaked in white. Something was making the hair on the back of her neck stand up as she watched the Angel just float over Tokyo-3.

"Not yet. You know an Eva can't move that fast!" Asuka replied, his voice filled with annoyance.

Unit-02 moved slowly through the city, keeping cover behind the taller munitions buildings and power stations. He had just finished switching plugs when he heard Shinji's voice cry out for help.

"AT field detected! Pattern Blue! IT'S RIGHT BENEATH UNIT-01!"

The shadow had covered the street under Unit-01's feet suddenly, that was when it began. Shinji could feel the Eva beginning to sink into the inky black the Angel had created. Fear had engulfed Shinji's mind as she tried to break free, but her legs wouldn't move. Unit-01 was stuck, and going further down.

By the time Asuka and Rei had gotten to a point they could help, it was all over.

I can't believe she got herself into this mess, Asuka fumed. But that wasn't the only thing pissing him off. It wasn't even the biggest thing on his mind. What was had been his failure.

His failure to save Shinji from what had happened. That had struck Asuka rather suddenly, but as he thought of it it made sense really. He wanted to be the best Eva pilot, that meant more then simply high synch ratios and skill. It meant actually performing better then his competition.

And Shinji still had the better kill record. That was annoying as all Hell, that Shinji could have killed as many Angels without the level of training Asuka had. Ever since the war had begun Shinji had been in the lead. Even before Asuka had been given a shot, Shinji had outperformed him. Now, through no fault of her own, Shinji had been sucked into the abyss. Asuka thought on that as the plans were laid, time tables set. Being the best didn't just mean you were the best out of everyone, it meant you became the target of anyone who wanted to take your spot. It also meant being the target of your enemies first off when the best is usually the greatest threat to them.

Now they had called everyone into the briefing area, Rei had already joined them and Asuka was now standing in the back listening. To Asuka's shock, they had not planned on rescuing Unit-01's pilot at all.

Shinji sat in her entry plug. It had been so long since she had been forced to go to to minimal systems in order to survive. For all she knew she would die there. Cold, alone, and for some reason hungry. It seemed out of all the problems Shinji had right now that food being in the top three was in some way a sick joke at her expense. It didn't make sense, none of this did.

All Shinji could do was to try to sleep and conserve some of her precious life support that remained. Even if there was no hope of rescue or survival, she could last a while longer. At least it would be a quiet death, as he body slowly shut down from oxygen deprivation as the LCL went beyond the point the recyclers could handle.

Slowly, Shinji slipped into a restless sleep. As she did she felt as if for a moment she were simply at peace with the world around her. She did not think of anything that would be coming for her, even death. As she slept her mind slipped somewhere.

Shinji was on the train now, speeding around Tokyo-3. She was just looking out the window, watching the great city as she passed. As Shinji turned her head she saw something odd. Whenever Shinji had had these flashes before she had been confronted by the child she had been, this time however.

Standing before her with his hands in his pockets was the boy she had been. His attitude and everything was still the same as it had been, shy and unassuming. However this version seemed a bit more sure of the situation. She wasn't surprised, he always was, no matter what form he took. Even as a small child this specter seemed to always know more then she did.

"You still see yourself as you were before," the other Shinji said.

"Yes, it's who I am," Shinji answered.

"Who you are isn't bound by what you look like. You are who you are, no more, no less," the Other said.

"What does that mean!"

"It means you should accept the reality of your existence," the doppleganger said.

"That is not easy," Shinji said, her voice.

The odd child simply smiled, "It never is."

"I never quiet remembered what happened inside that place. There was nothing, no sound, no up, no down, only unending white light. The next thing I really remember was waking up in NERV Medical yet again," Shinji said as he sipped his tea.

Yui smiled as her father spoke. She had heard much of the war from both her parents, their friends and family. But the way her father spoke now was as if she was hearing it for the first time. Perhaps it was because of what she knew now, or perhaps it was because he wasn't trying to edit himself to ignore that part he'd hidden forever.

She looked at her watch and groaned, it was starting to get late in the day and her husband would be at home worried about her soon. Shinji noticed and smiled, "It's getting late, why don't you go on home for the night. I'll tell you more tomorrow."

Yui smiled and got up with some difficulty. Her father took her hand to help her then pulled her into a light hug. "You take care Yui, I'll see you tomorrow."

Yui left, and as she walked to the elevator Shinji couldn't help but wonder if he was doing the right thing telling her all this. He shook his head, she had a right to know where she came from. Shinji also realized he had a more selfish reason for telling her.

He could no longer hide this from her, anyone else but her.

To Be Continued...

Next Chapter: The Angels keep coming, disregarding the trials of man. Shinji and Asuka slowly come to terms with what has happened with them. And the Fourth Child will be given his chance to take on part of the burden his friends have been forced to carry on their own.

Next Chapter: Thirteen O'Clock