A/N: Hello again! I thought I'd say, and you'll probably be able to tell a bit from this chapter, I'm using characters like Archie and Ruby a lot more in this than the show seems to recently. Maybe I just appreciate them more than the powers that be do!
To the guest reviewer who corrected my spelling mistake in chapter 1 - I owe you a drink. But you also ruined my chill, and that's uncool ;)
Once again thanks for reading/reviewing etc, enjoy chapter 4!
Darling this is when I met you
For the third time, not the last
Not the last time we are learning
Who we are and what we would
You are in the seat beside me
And you are in my dreams at night
- The Head and The Heart, Josh McBride
The night was humid, and stormy, and the only distraction from the incessant rain hitting the windowpanes was Regina calling out in her sleep. Evidently, the dreams were getting more frequent, and although all it took was a few soothing words from Emma to settle her back down, she knew that she had to try and do something about it.
"I'm going to see the psychiatrist today." Emma announced unsurely as her and Regina ate breakfast in bed. "About these nightmares you've been having."
"I see." Regina looked away.
"You can't carry on like this, Regina. I'll see if there's anything he can recommend to stop them, or to help them. I don't like seeing you like that."
"Well it's not exactly a walk in the park for me either!" Regina snapped, getting out of bed after a few failed attempts.
"I'm trying to help, Regina. I'm not the enemy."
"It feels like everything is." Regina put her head in her shaking hands.
"Hey, I know. If you don't want me to go to Archie, I won't. He's a friend, Regina. He's worried about you."
"Go. Please, go to see him. I'm sorry I'm like this, you don't deserve it."
"If you're sure. Right, water, meds, lunch, remote." Emma ran a checklist of the items she had laid out on the dressing table. "Call me if you need anything, literally anything. I'll just be a few hours, I need to stop by the station."
"Stop fussing, I'll see you later." Regina brushed off Emma's concern with a brave face, and got back into bed, pulling her knees into her chin.
"Sheriff Swan!" Archie Hopper greeted Emma with a confused smile as he and Pongo arrived at the office for the day. "Can I help you?"
"I need to talk to you. Regina's been having nightmares, and…" Emma spoke too quickly.
"Come in, come in. Take a seat." Archie looked concerned. "You look exhausted, Emma."
"She's started to remember, Archie."
"And?"
"And I don't want her to. She isn't sleeping. She starts shouting out in the night, kicking, fighting, it's… horrible. She's started getting visions from her past life, you know, ripping hearts out, killing villages. Like Graham did, before he…"
"You think it's your fault." Archie stated, without asking.
"Well, yeah. What else is it going to be? I'm causing her all this pain, and all this worry about herself, and who she is, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I'm the fucking saviour, Archie."
"So?" Archie encouraged her.
"Why do I have to be? Why do I have to do this to her? Can't she just be happy? I can't even spend time with her without hurting her."
"Emma… can I ask you a question?"
Emma nodded.
"How long have you been in love with Miss Mills?" Emma got up and began to pace for a few seconds, running her hand through her hair.
"I don't know what I am.." Emma calmed down a little, "Maybe I am. Maybe longer than I realise. This whole thing has just made it so damn glaringly obvious that I can't ignore it any more. I feel something for her, Archie, whatever the hell it is, but I can't stop hurting her."
"You can't blame yourself for this. It comes with part of the package, I know, but it's not you. You need to work with creating some distance between yourself and the Saviour persona; and I'm aware that you've spent a long time becoming acquainted with it, but at this point it's not doing you any good. I'm not speaking as a therapist, Emma, I'm speaking as your friend. Just give yourself a break. You aren't causing this."
"Yeah, like that would work."
"Do this for Regina, more than anything else. You want to be there for her, to truly be there for her? You need to let go of this guilt. It's going to keep eating you up inside until it gets to the point where you can't even look her in the eye, so it's best to stop it now. And if you do love her, remember: love is selfless, Emma. Be selfless, and let the Saviour attitude go."
Emma knew Archie was right. She knew that as last night went on, she had began to beat herself up more and more over the situation to the point where she considered running out on Regina in the middle of the night, so as to not cause her any more pain.
"Thanks, Archie. Sorry for freaking out."
"It's completely understandable in your situation. Please call me if you ever need someone to talk to, and you feel like you can't talk to anyone else. As for Regina, try getting her outside a little, when she's up for it. Borrow a wheelchair and take her out to get some fresh air, and see if you can get her to do some form of relaxation."
"Yeah right, like she'll go for that."
"Worth a try." Archie smiled in finality, and guided Emma to the door.
"A walk? I'm not sure I'm up for it, Emma." Emma had first raised the idea late the next morning, after another sleepless night spent in Regina's bedroom. Regina had continued to show her reluctance all morning, refusing like Henry on a school day to get dressed.
"Get dressed. Last warning, or I'll have to use ninja tactics."
"What are you going to do; ninja me dressed?"
"I'm afraid that's classified."
"Good lord. Look at my clothes though, Emma, I can't very well go for a walk in a dress this tight!" Regina signalled to the endless rows of pristine work outfits hung in her wardrobe.
"Yeah, you might be right there." Emma rummaged around for a few moments, before finding a faded pair of jeans in the back. "Look, wear these and I'll find you a jersey or a jumper of mine to wear."
"Lucky me." Regina continued sarcastically.
After half an hour more fussing, Emma finally helped Regina downstairs. The wheelchair she had picked up after seeing Archie the day before was folded up leant against the wall by the door, and taking one look at it Regina turned to try and get back upstairs.
"Out of the question, Emma."
"You can barely walk; do you really think I'd let you out on the streets like this?"
"I'll look like an invalid."
"You are an invalid. For the love of god, Regina, get in it." Emma pulled the wheelchair open and pushed it towards Regina, challenging her in her stern facial expression to argue once more. Regina eventually relented, and sat carefully, giving Emma a squinted stare as she did so.
"If you leave me to roll off, I'll call the police on you."
"Honey, I am the police. God, you can be such a child. Here." Emma grabbed the blanket she was carrying from under her arm and laid it over Regina's legs.
"That's hardly necessary."
"I don't want you getting cold, you're in a bad mood enough as it is. Now, if you're good maybe I'll get you a lollipop." Emma teased, tapping Regina on the nose, while the other woman sighed and crossed her arms pointedly.
The two women, with Regina leading in the chair with a scowl on her face, set off down Main Street. Emma stopped every 20 metres or so to show Regina a building, or a person, or explain things about Storybrooke that came to her mind. Regina spent the journey mostly in silence, and Emma worried that she was a little overwhelmed at her surroundings.
"You alright there?"
"Fine, dear. It's just a lot to take in."
"Sure it is, I get it." The two reached Granny's, and Emma put the brake on the wheelchair. "Right, I'm going to go and get us both a drink. Don't cause any trouble." She posed in a mock-firm voice, and Regina laughed in spite of herself as the blonde strolled in to the diner.
A few moments after Emma entered, Regina was struck by the sight of a gorgeous brunette in impossibly tiny shorts exiting, and stopping dead in front of her. "Regina!"
"Hello."
"Gods, sorry. I'm Ruby, I work here. It's really great to see you out, it really hasn't been the same without you."
"Thank you, Ruby." Regina smiled at the woman, who was seemingly making a genuine effort with her.
Emma left the diner not short after, and saw Regina and Ruby, of all people, having a conversation outside the window.
"Hey, Em. So yeah, Regina, if you ever need anything, you know where I am."
"Absolutely. Goodbye, Ruby." Regina smiled as the woman left, giving a cheery wave as she did so. "She seems nice."
"Yeah, she is." Emma was a little shocked at how friendly the conversation had seemed between the two of them. Emma handed Regina her coffee, and began to push her along the pavement.
"..Attractive too." Regina said after a moment, making Emma spit out the mouthful of hot chocolate she was in the process of swallowing.
"She is, is she?"
"Would the old me not have said that?" Regina questioned, hearing Emma choke from behind her.
"No, you definitely wouldn't have done."
"Well, I must have been thinking it." Emma could feel jealousy rising up in her. Regina turned to look at the woman, who had gone silent, a smile forming on her face. "Don't say you're jealous, Emma."
"That's just wishful thinking."
"You're attractive too, dear." Regina reassured her condescendingly, and Emma sighed relaxedly as she continued to push her back home.
A/N: In my head, Archie is an sq shipper. Or at least, he is now.
Don't forget to review or send me a message on tumblr, and also remember to head over to 8tracks and listen to the mix ( /swarklesinstorybrooke/it-doesn-t-always-have-to-be-beautiful-swan-queen) which will give you a preview of some of the songs which will be used later on. Thanks for reading!