Phoenix's note: Sorry I couldn't update last week like I wanted to fans, but I had some issues with the power at my house and had to take care of a few personal needs. Anyway, please read, review, and enjoy the second (and quite long) half of episode 12!
WARNING! This episode contains strong sexual content for the sake of the plotline!
The screen opened up in a wide hallway with little light, where Jimmy could be seen following Twan.
"So, what's the story on this Droid Carnage stuff, Uncle Twan?" Jimmy asked. "Other than robots killing each other?"
"Rumors got it, the Antonucci bros, like all rich kids, got bored with their cash real fast!" Twan explained. "The day before it even came out, they saw the Robot Rebel Ranch sequel and got an idea; why not have machines beat the crap outta each other for fun? Four months later, after gettin' the OK from some legal guys, Droid Carnage hit the scene and kept gainin' fighters and fans for over a year!"
"By fighters, you mean "robots"?"
"Yeah, but not just them! Humans gotta get in on the action, too!"
"So…it's not really just robots fighting?"
"Hell, no! What, you wanna live in a Terminator world or somethin'? Anything can happen with machines with handheld controllers, Jim!"
"Hey, where are we going, anyway?"
"Where do ya think? To get our boy!"
Twan and Jimmy entered a room that the former had a key to. Hooked up against the wall inside was, to Jimmy's amazement, the colossal 7'6 blue-green robot he saw on Twan's Droid Carnage poster earlier on! Twan smiled proud at the robot before he noticed Jimmy's astonished facial expression.
"Jim Greene, say hello to my Carnage Drone, The Ripper!"
"Y-You mean, you're…"
"The one who's gonna win the main event tonight...again? You bet! Open, big guy!"
"Voice recognized! Welcome, Antwan Bennett!" A computerized voice sounded before Twan's droid (The Ripper) opened up like a suit so that Twan can enter it.
"How again could you afford this?"
"Bought a membership card the day before the business launched!" Twan stepped into The Ripper.
"This is so…cool!"
"What'd be even more badass is if I got to fight Black Zero, the Droid Carnage reigning champ, instead of all these chumps!"
Jimmy thought to himself for a second before the screen cut to the Droid Carnage arena, which was heavily packed and featured a combat ring three times the size of an average one! Among the many teenagers and young adults in the arena were the Eds, Kevin, and Nate, whom were at the very front of the ring on the north side. Ed was the only one with food, specifically a huge bowl of Scottish-haggis gravy (All Eds are off).
"My! My!" Edd looked around the arena surprised. "This stadium certainly houses many adolescent citizens we've never had the pleasure of encountering!"
"That's 'cause half these guys are Lemon Brook Dicks!" Kevin pointed out. "What you can't tell by how some got moon-huge moles and fucked up teeth?"
"Shh! I think the last fight is about to start!" Ed licked his entire face cleaning of Scottish-haggis gravy, having put his entire face in the bowl to chow down.
"He's right! Here come two of Antonucci's boys right now!" Eddy pointed to two Caucasian boys with black hair, who apparently filled the respective roles of the referee and the fighter announcer (the older and taller one being the latter while the younger and five-inches shorter one being the former), as they stepped into the ring. The tall one, named "Homer" as evident with the nametag on his silk jacket, reached for the large microphone in the air while his brother, named "Jason" as evident on his own nametag, stood in a corner.
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! YOU GOT YOUR FIVE-COURSE DINNER AND LIKED IT A LOT! BUT NOW, IT'S TIME FOR…DESSERT!" Homer yelled into the mike, prompting excited yells from every person in the arena (save for Edd of course)! "ALL THE WAY FROM LEMON BROOK, THE ONLY OTHER CHALLENGER TO BE ON A FUCKING AWESOME STREAK TONIGHT, GIVE IT UP FOR SHAWN "DEADBLADE" MCKELLAN!"
As half the crowd (obviously the Lemon Brook half) cheered, the McKellan gang (Get your Ed in the game, You're in for an Ed) trudged down a long aisle. Ryan and Justin respectively stood on the right and left side of Shawn, who was inside his colossal 7'7 yellow-orange drone (named "Deadblade", which was also shown on the poster Twan had earlier)!
Shawn entered the ring and started jumping around and throwing random punches in the air arrogantly as his suit made robotic sounds.
"AND NOW, THE PEACH CREEK NATIVE FIGHTER WITH A STREAK JUST AS FUCKING INTENSE AS DEADBLADE!" Homer continued. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, GIVE IT UP FOR, THE PEACH CREEK/LEMON BROOK UNDERGROUND DRONE COMBAT CHAMPION, ANTWAN "THE RIPPER" BENNETT!"
Half the crowd (the Peach Creek crowd, including Eddy, Ed, Nate, and Kevin and excluding Edd) cheered wildly as Twan, in his drone, danced toughly down the aisle opposite Shawn's with Jimmy by his side, who did the same. Twan entered the ring and rather than jumping around arrogantly like Shawn, just stood there and folded his arms as his suit (Twan's) made robotic sounds.
"All right, you two! You know the rules!" Jason ran between the two fighters, who kneeled down to listen to him. "Whoever's down for more than five seconds or gets their butt kicked outta the ring, cryin' or not, loses! Now bop knuckles and wait for the bell!"
Twan held out his knuckles while Shawn aggressively punched them, much to the former's anger! Jason then signaled for his brother to continue on.
"NOW, LET'S GET READY FOR…DROID CARNAGE!" Homer pointed to some promoters at the desk, who rang the bell!
The fight was more intense than any fight with just humans. Shawn lunged at Twan and kicked him in the chest and into the corner before he began throwing rapid punches at him, not managing to land a single successful one due to his (Twan's) forearm blocking!
"C'MON, TWAN!" Jimmy and Nate yelled!
"HE'S GOT HIM PINNED LIKE A KNIFE TO A HAND!" Ed stood up surprised and accidentally tossed his gravy through the air before it landed on a Lemon Brook patron, much to his anger and Kevin's laughter!
"Gotta get outta the corner!" Twan muttered to himself inside the drone-suit.
"Think you had more than enough, so I'll just finish it!" Shawn started to deliver the finishing blow, but Twan quickly thwarted this with a kick to Shawn's abdomen before he (Twan) jumped at him and successfully delivered a blow to his right cheek, causing his (Shawn's) drone-suit to make a loud static noise!
"THERE YA GO! THERE YA GO!" Eddy cheered Twan on!
"TAKE HIS ASS DOWN!" Nate added.
"MAKE HIM EAT THROUGH HIS OWN ROBOT'S MOUTH!" Ed joined in, prompting his friends to look at him strange.
Twan successfully delivered a blow to Shawn's right cheek before he (Twan) ducked to avoid a blow from Shawn's left and responded with a blow to both of his (Shawn's) cheeks!
"ASSHOLE!" Enraged, Shawn swiftly landed a blow to both of Twan's cheeks before he delivered four just as swift blows to his abdomen, forcing him (Twan) back in the corner and for his drone-suit to make a lot of static noise!
"Oh, man! He's back in the corner!" Kevin grabbed his hair. "C'MON, TWAN! GET THAT PUNK!"
"YOU GOTTA GET OUTTA THERE, TWAN!" Jimmy yelled, tempted to hop onto the ring and assist (but knowing that that would be unwise).
Once again realizing that using his fists was not an option so long as he used his arms to forearm-block his opponent's rapid punches, Twan knee-kicked Shawn in the abdomen and successfully delivered a blow to his right cheek, but before he could do so again, Shawn delivered a punch to Twan's left cheek and sent him out into the middle of the ring!
"FINISH THIS GUY, SHAWN!" Ryan cheered Shawn on.
"YEAH, THAT PRICK DON'T LOOK LIKE HE CAN TAKE ANYMORE!" Justin joined in! "PUT 'IM OUTTA HIS DAMN MISERY ALREADY!"
"YOU AIN'T NO CHAMP! YOU AIN'T NO DAMN CHAMP!" Shawn delivered a successful blow to Twan's abdomen, right and left cheeks, and a blow to the back of his head to send him near his corner again! It would appear as if Twan was finished, given the way he was fighting tonight, but suddenly, Shawn's drone-suit started to emit more noticeable external static, but Shawn himself didn't care!
Acting on this, he tried to deliver another blow to Twan, but Twan foiled this attempt when he head-slapped Shawn, forcing him to stumble backwards as his entire drone-suit started to get covered in static!
"YEAH! WHAT'CHU GOT TO SAY NOW, SMART-ASS?" Taking advantage of Shawn's predicament, Twan delivered a potent blow to both of Shawn's cheeks before he delivered a powerful uppercut that sent him (Shawn) flying out of the ring and onto the aisle he (Shawn) walked down, ending the fight!
"YEAH! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT! 'BOUT TIME HE SHUT UP! BUTTERED TOAST PARTY FOR TWAN, GUYS! BRAVO, TWAN! BRAVO!" The Eds, Kevin, and Nate praised Twan for his victory along with all other Peach Creek natives!
"WINNER AND STILL YOUR CHAMPION FOR PEACH CREEK/LEMON BROOK UNDERGROUND DRONE COMBAT, ANTWAN "THE RIPPER" BENNETT!" Homer quickly got in the ring and announced as Jason "held" Twan's arm up! Fired up after Twan's victory, Jimmy swiftly climbed into the ring and took the microphone from Homer, "YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS COOL? YOU THOUGHT TWAN WAS TOUGH JUST THEN?"
"What's Jimbo doin'?" Eddy scratched his head as his friends shrugged.
"MY PAL TWAN CHALLENGES THE REIGNING PROFESSIONAL CHAMPION OF DROID CARNAGE TO A WINNER-TAKE-ALL FIGHT RIGHT HERE IN PEACH CREEK! THAT'S RIGHT! THE RIPPER VERSES BLACK ZERO!" Jimmy yelled, causing a mixture of reactions from the audience! "YOU WANT A FIGHT? THIS IS THE FIGHT! RIPPER! RIPPER! RIPPER…"
Jimmy's starting of a chain of chants spread to Eddy and Nate first. Followed by Ed, Kevin, and Edd. Soon, every Peach Creek resident there chanted "Ripper" before even the Lemon Brook patrons followed suit! The brothers Homer and Jason looked at each other as if what was happening was some sort of wild dream! From her large computer screen, Caitlin gasped and couldn't help but smile before the screen faded to black.
The screen reopened in a parking lot, where Twan and Jimmy could be seen power-walking towards the former's car.
"Can't believe ya did that!" Twan chuckled to himself. "Guess those daredevil lessons Eddy and Ed gave ya did more than I hoped!"
"Well, you said you wanted to get a fight with the champ, Uncle Twan!" Jimmy shrugged. "What, you didn't know that all ya had to do was ask?"
"As if they'll gimme a fight with that monster, Jim!" Twan rolled his eyes. "Do you even know who operates Black Zero?"
"No. Who?" Jimmy asked interested.
"Leon Antonucci! Homer and Jason's big brother and the schemer of the whole Droid Carnage sport!" Twan answered. "While his brothers go as referee and announcer to every game in the freakin' country to keep most of the money for 'emselves, Leon's busy keepin' 'imself and Zero in shape for every fight…or pummeling!"
"Twan, you're the toughest guy I've met! I know this 'cause that's part of the reason I like chilling with you!" Jimmy touched Twan's shoulder. "You'd beat the living crap out of that Leon rich boy with quarter-effort!"
"Not with my skills, Jim! You saw me tonight!" Twan sighed. "I could barely take down McKellan! Even with my common "wear 'im out" strategy! To beat a beast like Leon's Zero, I need a helluva whole lotta fightin' potential!"
"You bet'cher ass, Bennett!" Shawn and his gang stepped in front of the two boys menacingly. "'Cause you and I both know too well that lady luck wanted you tonight!"
"Whadoya want, McKellan?" Twan asked annoyed.
"Well, Deadblade got fried pretty bad and we just found out that we didn't have enough cash to refill our membership cards and have 'im fixed up fer free!" Shawn explained. "But, we thought with you winnin' again, you outta have some green on ya, so why not come to you?"
"It's a game, man. Quit bein' a sore loser and takin' it out on guys like me! It ain't right!" Twan responded annoyed just as Jimmy looked to his left and saw, in the great distance, the Eds, Nate, and Kevin walk out of an arena door and converse.
"Eddy!" Jimmy subtly uttered under a false cough, causing the McKellan gang to look at him and Twan to look around the lot until he noticed his friends in the distance.
"And you!" Shawn pointed to Jimmy. "For a Peach Creek punk freshman who just punched puberty, you've got some balls callin' out Zero with cameras on! Lemme guess! You did some crazy shit today when ya found out ya got peach fuzz pits?"
"Look, McKellan!" Twan turned his attention to Shawn. "If I give ya our green, will ya step off?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah! Sorry, but no. Sure ya beat me and all, but us Lemon Brookers go by a rule! We don't put up with losin' unless the guy we lose to loses somethin' too! And we ain't talkin' about money so much as physical health!" Shawn cracked his knuckles.
"We're both a little old for this shit, man!" Twan took out the handful of money he won in the fight. "Just take the money and-"
Twan never finished his sentence. Realizing there was no reasoning with the McKellan gang, he and Jimmy quickly dashed away from the bullies and towards their friends in the distance! Unfortunately for them, the McKellan gang gave chase! Though originally staying far ahead of the Lemon Brook roughnecks, they eventually and ultimately catch up with the two, immediately beginning to severely beat up Twan (Jimmy was just grabbed and thrown onto the ground)! Ryan picked Twan up and held him into place so that Shawn could attack him.
"Where's The Ripper now, Champ? Huh?" Shawn viciously struck Twan in the stomach thrice!
"Where ya goin', peach fuzz?" Justin pushes Jimmy hard onto the ground before he picked him up by the back of his neck! "Not like you can help that loser!"
"Don't call my friend a loser!" Jimmy viciously broke Justin's nose by bashing the back of his head against his face, forcing him (Justin) to drop him (Jimmy)!
"YOU LITTLE FUCK!" Justin started to stomp on Jimmy.
"Forget him! Get Bennett!" Shawn and Ryan continued to punch and kick a downed Twan!
Several feet away, the Eds, Kevin, and Nate continued to converse until Ed, looking at the corner of his left eye only by sheer accident, noticed the scuffle in the distance!
"Hey, what's going on over there?" Ed pointed in Twan and Jimmy's direction, causing his friends to look in that direction as well.
"Whoa! The worst beating I've ever seen! Not even I gave ya one that bad, Eddy!" Kevin looked on in horror.
Ignoring Kevin, Eddy looked at the scuffle closely to see if he knew who the kids were. "Hey, that looks like…" He squinted once before he saw Jimmy get tossed off of Ryan's back after he jumped on it!
"JIMMY!" Eddy sprinted towards the scuffle with his four friends right behind him!
"RAGGH! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM JIM!" Fed-up, Twan suddenly sprung himself up, brutally punched Justin in the stomach, Ryan in the nose, and Shawn in both the face and the ribs! But before he could throw another punch, Justin caught his fist from behind, spun him around, and punched him over in Ryan's direction before Ryan punched Twan to the ground! The two proceeded to kick both him and Jimmy until…
"All right, stop! QUIT!" Shawn stopped his friends from attacking the two again. "Grab their cash and let's go!"
Ryan and Justin started to reach into both Twan and Jimmy's pockets to steal their winnings, but were foiled when Nate and Kevin jumped on the screen to respectively punch Ryan and Justin away just as Eddy kicked Shawn himself off-screen!
"Nate! Kev! Double D! Grab those two, will ya?" Eddy ordered as he dealt with Shawn.
Nate and Kevin grabbed the badly-bruised Twan while Edd grabbed the less-severely bruised Jimmy so that their friends could deal with the McKellan gang.
"Wedgification…hold the onions!" Ed gave simultaneous wedgies to both Justin and Ryan as they screamed in pain before he spun them around EEnE-style by their underwear, smashed their bodies together, and threw them into a nearby gate-fence, bruising them!
"Ain't one beatin' enough, McKellan?" Eddy cracked his neck to confront Shawn, despite knowing that he (Shawn) was no match for him (Eddy).
"You tell me, Gates!" Shawn swung at Eddy, but Eddy, being faster than Shawn, swiftly grabbed his (Shawn's) shirt and savagely head-butt him in the nose before he (Eddy) punched him in the throat just as quickly! Shawn tried to throw another punch, but Eddy effortlessly blocked it, punched Shawn in the jaw, grabbed his neck, and tossed him into a four-door sedan, breaking its window right window. Still feeling very stubborn, Shawn once again threw a punch at Eddy, but the latter grappled onto his arm, struck it with his elbow, viciously punched Shawn in the abdomen, elbowed him in the back, and kicked him over to Ryan and Justin before he (Shawn) could land on the ground!
"Better not catch you around here again, assclowns!" Eddy threatened before the McKellan gang dashed off-screen. Eddy walked up to Twan and Jimmy, "You guys, all right?"
"I'll live. You all right, Twan? Twan?" Jimmy looked over at the unconscious Twan, who was being held up by Kevin and Nate.
"Oh my! I need to have the medical room prepped immediately!" Edd took out his cell phone.
"Nate, call Caitlin! She needs to see this!" Eddy gravely ordered.
In the Kankers' kitchen, Lee was explaining to her sisters about the DVD disks she found, but refused to give them any details about the contents.
"That's bullshit!" Marie justified. "Our bastard dads ain't bother to send us postcards the past three years much less some DVDs about-"
"You're holding the disk now, dumbass!" Lee interrupted calmly. "And lie to yourself all ya want, but'chu know no one else calls you "Maria"! Not even mom!"
"Okay, assumin' that yer dad bein' on some stupid disk is what turned you soft or whatever," Marie started. "I still don't buy that half-assed story about how all our dads met up and decided to spill why they ain't sent nothin' to us to show us what's goin' on with them!"
"And you don't expect me to be sold by that story you just told about mom hidin' that box in her room, do ya?" May snorted.
"Didn't think I had to tell you two this but," Lee sighed and sat back. "It's all I got left to say to ya!"
Flashback- Several weeks ago during the Christmas special, "Deck the Eds". The Kankers just walked into their trailer after being blasted out of the cul-de-sac by Ed's snow-rocket launcher. They were all visibly angered, but none more so than Lee.
"Pretty nice plan, stupid!" Marie pushed May. "Pelt them with snow until they decide to break up with the Bitchshells and go out with us? Yer such a retard!"
"Like you could come up with anything better!" May pushed Marie even harder! "Call up the crossbones gang and have 'em rape the Bombshells if the Eds didn't go out with us! Like they can't freakin' defend themselves!"
"Buck-toothed slut!" Marie proceeded to choke May!
"Blue-haired, semen-slurping skank!" May choked Marie!
"SHUT UP!" Lee roared, forcing her two sisters across the room! She had had enough.
"Hey, who shoved coal up your ass?" Marie got up to brush herself off.
"Forget it!" Lee frowned as she stomped upstairs.
"Lee, what's-" May started to ask.
"I SAID FORGET IT!" Lee waltzed into Raven's room.
Seconds later, Lee could be seen tossing random things of her mother's around in a fit of rage. Family pictures, her nightstand, her TV, and even her mattress!
"YOU HAVE BAD GUT FEELINGS ABOUT MEN! I SEE THAT! BUT JUST 'CAUSE YOU SUCK AT GETTIN' ONE DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO PASS THAT STUPID-ASS TRAIT ON TO ME! NOT A SINGLE DAMN THING WENT RIGHT FOR ME AND IT'S YOUR FAULT! YOUR FAULT I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND! YOUR FAULT I DON'T EVEN HAVE A GUY FRIEND! YOUR FAULT!"
Lee grabbed her mother's purple vase and smashed it on the floor that her (Raven's) mattress was on and quickly noticed that it made a hollow sound. Something the rest of the floor didn't.
"What the-?" Lee hit the hollow floor three more times before she struck it extra hard and caused it to slide open like a trap-door and reveal the black trunk she would show to her sisters in mere weeks. She snapped the padlock off with her bare hands and saw the DVDs meant for both her and her sisters.
Minutes later, after locking the door to her and her sisters' bedroom, she popped the DVD disc meant for her into their player. The TV screen read, "To my little diamond, Lena Simone." before it showed a redheaded Caucasian man in his early to mid forties smiling and sitting at a desk with a large precious gem and a nameplate that read, "Aaron Sawyer: Head of Mineral Research" Oddly, the man (Aaron) bore a slight resemblance to Lee.
"D-D-Dad?" Lee uttered surprised.
"Lena. My sweet, sweet girl." Aaron started, allowing a tear to escape. "Raven's exes and myself made this disc when you were 13, but knowing your mother, she's bound to lock it away somewhere and tell you something different than what I'm about to say. Can't really blame her, though. But if you're anything like your old man, you're bound to find it after throwing a fit of rage or something some years from now."
Lee looked down surprised and folded her arms.
"But I'll just get right to the point." Aaron explained. "You were too young to know this at the time, but your mother and I thought we were meant for each other. But we were seriously fooling ourselves. She paid a handsome amount to get custody of you and the settlement done with. Sure I could've fought harder to get you, but I had to face facts. Raven would do a much better job raising you than I would. All the promises I've broken. All the benefits of being a workaholic that I couldn't ignore. I am your father, Lena. But I was never your dad. Not till now, anyway. And as your dad, I have but a single request for you. Be nothing like me. An obsessive, worthless failure, who couldn't even look after himself much less his family. You have it in you to be an extraordinary young girl, Lena. I knew that since the day you were born. Be strong and look out for your family, my little diamond. What is and always shall be…more precious to me than any gemstone…is you."
Once the DVD ended, Lee covered her face as she burst into tears at the fact that her father, the man she never really knew, wanted her to be the best person she could and ended up becoming the complete opposite. Which was, in fact, her own father. Lee then looked up at the screen with a determined facial expression, now a changed girl with only one thing on her mind: to blossom and mature like her father wanted.
Moments later, she could be seen behind her trailer burning all of her obsessive pictures of Eddy and her Kanker-perfume formulas in a large bonfire. But before she could throw away a "Bikini Babes" magazine (Urban Ed) (featuring beautiful fictional redheaded model Scarlett Cross in a fur bikini on the cover), she smirked, "Hmm…"
Seconds later, in the Kankers' bedroom, Lee, now being in nothing more than a pink bikini, underwent a complete makeover in a montage fashion. She bit into a crowbar as she waxed both her legs until they were both perfectly smooth. She then proceeded to gel her clean red hair and curl it neatly and beautifully, though we still couldn't see her eyes. Lee then started rubbing a special lotion on her face and several seconds later, began powdering it, putting on light-blue eyeliner, and finally, cherry red lipstick (but her face was yet to be seen).
Next, she slammed a huge tan box (which read, "Things I'll Never Wear" on top) on-screen and opened it to reveal all of the feminine clothes she would be seen wearing merely weeks from now. She slipped on the jeans, the socks and shoes, the shirt, and finally, the jacket.
In the kitchen, May and Marie were arm-wrestling until the montage music ended with Marie accidentally winning when May became distracted by her elder sister's new, off-screen appearance. Marie was just as shocked and speechless.
"Shocker!" The camera shifted to the smiling, feminine, and elegant Lee, who now resembled a miniature Scarlett Cross! "Marie won again!"
The screen flashed white before it cut to the Kankers' trailer in the current time.
"So, yer a daddy's girl, now! Big whoop!" Marie folded her arms. "You still ain't told us why you were all over Farmer Kazek, Ho!"
"And you still didn't scrub underneath the trailer like I told ya fucking two hours ago!" Lee retorted with a smile. "Thought I wouldn't check…Ho?"
Marie groaned in frustration before she walked off-screen and May giggled at her embarrassment.
"You can tell me, Lee!" May snorted.
"Not till everyone's at the table, May!" Lee replied wittily.
"Hey, where was mom in your flashback, anyway?" May asked.
"Same place she is tonight." Lee answered. "Over at Principal Caird's for a pre-date date!"
In Edd's bedroom, which was transformed into a medical room (One size fits Ed, Don't push your Ed), a no-longer-bruised Twan was receiving a massage from Caitlin in his makeshift hospital bed. His wounds were closed, but he was still in slight pain.
"Bet'cher lovin' this, huh?" Twan snickered. "Ya warned me to back off of DC for a while and hours later, I get massacred!"
"Not the type to say "I told you so", sweetie!" Caitlin responded. "Besides, I'm still stuck on what Jimmy pulled last night! I tell you, it's a wild thing when nice, sweet boys finally hit puberty!"
"Told Jim myself! Like the champ really wants to fight a nobody from Peach Creek! A nobody compared to him, anyway!"
"In a world like this, you never know, Twan! They'll either laugh at you or more than likely make you put your money where your mouth is and take you on!"
"Yeah, right!"
Just then, Eddy waltzed into the room with an excited facial expression, "Oh, great! Yer good now! Get downstairs! You gotta see this!"
Twan and Caitlin looked at each other suspicious before, seconds later, the Eds, Nate, and Kevin, accompanied by Twan and Caitlin, sat at the kitchen table as they looked at Edd's laptop and saw the brothers Homer and Jason being swarmed by reporters and photographers as one reporter in particular spoke "What began with a Peach Creek freshman's challenging of the Droid Carnage world champion Black Zero has transformed into a highly controversial demand for said fight! The brothers of Black Zero operator Leon Antonucci, Homer and Jason have, after much thought and pestering of fans for the past few hours, decided to make the fight a reality on MLK day tomorrow! While they have refused to answer anymore questions, they have confirmed that their brother will be flying into the state tomorrow morning!"
Once the clip ended, everyone stared at Twan emotionless while Twan himself continued to look at the laptop flabbergasted. Just then, Jimmy walked on-screen excitedly, his wounds healed and unseen.
"Double D said he had some thingamajig that can sharpen your skills so you'd be able to take down Zero!" Jimmy smirked.
"No." Twan shook his head indifferently.
"No?" Jimmy repeated surprised. "This is what you wanted! All you need now is-"
"Yer right, Jim! I wanted this! I don't anymore!" Twan interrupted upset. "After last night, I want you to chill with your friends, all right? I want'chu safe!"
"Twan, you can't-" Jimmy walked towards Twan.
"I MEAN WHAT I SAY, JIM! STAY WITH YOUR FRESHMAN FRIENDS!" Twan, obviously remorseful about last night's incident, stormed out of Edd's house via his (Edd's) backyard door, much to Jimmy's hurt and confusion. Caitlin quickly hugged Jimmy better before she left Edd's house to follow Twan.
At the X-House, Sugar Bar manager Melissa Cervantes (Feel the Ed!) was sitting in the living room as she watched the Bombshells, Brooke, and Tori dance to a song sung by fictional pop star Kamille, featuring fellow fictional artist Jonesy Ray (as evident with Nazz's Ipod stating the off-screen name of the song and the artists themselves). They were obviously choreographed by Brooke, as all of the girls' dance moves now bordered on professional. Once the song ended and the girls paused in one position, Melissa stood up and clapped impressed.
"That was, like, so much fun!" Nazz panted.
"You know what will be even more fun?" Melissa walked up to the girls. "Seeing all five of you at work on Tuesday!"
"All five?" Brooke repeated surprised. "You mean, I'm-"
"Hired? Why so surprised? These girls could use a choreographer to keep their ideas fresh! Congrats, Brooklyn! See you on Tuesday!" Melissa shook hands with each of the girls before she left the X-house!
"Awesome! Totally sweet! So wicked!" The girls exchanged high fives and hugs.
"'Course you girls do realize that after this scene is over, we don't show up again because Phoenix doesn't want to go over time, right?" Brooke said.
"What?" Tori uttered surprised.
In the Bennetts' backyard, Twan sat at his family's picnic table, still feeling guilty over Jimmy's ordeal rather than his own. Caitlin walked outside and sat next to him to console him.
"Shoulda known this was gonna happen!" Twan frowned. "Never shoulda even thought about takin' 'im somewhere that's got Lemon Brooke bastard scent all over it! And I tried to cancel the fight, but I don't got the financial rights to do that. I dunno what to do, Kate."
"You can stop feeling sorry for yourself." Caitlin rubbed his back. "What happened last night was something you couldn't stop. Not alone."
"But Jim, Caitlin-"
"You taught Jimmy to be firm enough to take things head on, even if he has no chance. He never would've left your side if he had a choice. You have it in you to do the same, Twan. You have it in you to be a better…Uncle!"
"You'll never quit bein' there for me, will ya?"
"Who am I? Monique?" Caitlin joked. She moved closer to Twan, who responded by turning his head in her direction. The two kissed passionately, with Twan no longer feeling upset as a result. As they continued to kiss, the screen faded to black.
The screen reopened on the outside of the Kankers' trailer, where Lee could be seen sitting in a lawn chair sipping hot cocoa before an agitated and dirty Marie and May walked up to her.
"What? Yer done?" Lee raised her right eyebrow.
"Don't think I don't know yer game, big sis!" Marie frowned. "Yer tryin' to get us to do all this stupid-ass work so we'd forget about asking about your sex scene with Kazek!"
"Oh, wow. You couldn't say that a little cleaner?" Lee chuckled.
"It's not funny, Lee!" May snorted. "We've done every shit job around and in the trailer just 'cause you claimed it had somethin' to do with you goin' over to farm boy's house and screaming his name in his bedroom!"
"I said it "symbolically" had somethin' to do with what I was doin', May." Lee set down her hot cocoa. "But you're right. I've put it off long enough."
Flashback- A few weeks ago (picking up right where the last flashback left off) in the Kankers' trailer. Marie and May just stared at their sister in shock, realizing that she had just destroyed all of her physical tomboyish traits.
"See ya!" Lee started to walk out the door.
"Where are you going?" Marie asked.
"To pay some debts!" Lee smirked before she walked out the door. The screen shifted to Rolf's farm, where Rolf himself could be seen muttering angrily to himself as he looked at the long list of chores he still had to do.
"Why should Rolf be forced to consummate everyone's daily labor due to his blood guardians' temporary leisure departure? I ask you!" Rolf complained to Victor, who walked with him and did nothing but bleat once before his (Victor's) attention went straight.
Just then, all of Rolf's animals looked in the same direction as Victor before Rolf himself did so as well. While his livestock remained emotionless, Rolf looked petrified with fear when he saw that what they were all looking at was the smiling Lee Kanker! Sure Rolf acknowledged that she was physically transformed, but had no idea she was mentally that way until she spoke up.
"Hey, um, Rolf!" Lee started, her feminine voice caused Rolf to replace his fear with confusion. "Listen, I know we've had our differences and you've always been disgusted with me and my sisters…but I don't want there to be any hard feelings between us. I was sick. I believed that Eddy and me were meant to be and I wanted to make it happen so badly. Wasn't until yesterday I finally stopped sniffing the crack and opened my eyes. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here because I want to pay off the emotional and mental damages I gave you guys by working like crazy. Don't care how long it takes."
Rolf then displayed no emotion as he looked at all of his animals. He uttered, "Rolf's livestock can unearth false genuine emotion and would form a stampede when united in their fear of your presence, Kanker leader. Rolf is pleased to learn that you have changed mentally as well as physically, yet…how would daily labor assist you in vanquishing what remains of your guilt?"
"My Uncle Nick has a saying. It works, but it's kinda lame." Lee replied smiling. "Hard work positively softens negative emotion."
"Hmm!" Rolf smiled, now bowled-over by Lee's new character.
A montage for all of Lee's activities for the next few weeks began, starting with today. Lee, now in nothing more than a white T-shirt and jeans, used her incredible Kanker strength to stuff a huge amount of meat in Rolf's locker for storage. Next, she washed all of Rolf's animals (the pigs, both of his goats, and his bull) and was currently on his cow and calves. Then, at night, Lee was seen washing the Kazek family's clothes by hand and after she succeeded in hanging them all up to dry, she fell fast asleep on the ground. A proud Rolf picked her up in his arms and put her on his bed before he placed the cover over her.
The next week, Lee could be seen draining tree sap from a large oak tree (Ed Overboard) to go in a large barrel before she carried it over to five other barrels in a corner! After that, Lee could be seen holding onto Rolf's tractor as she cleaned its hood when, only by sheer accident, she looked up at Rolf's room window and saw the muscular foreign teen doing pull-ups while wearing only a wool speedo. Aroused, she blushed and smiled as she looked away. At night, after Lee climbed out of the huge hole she dug, she entered Rolf's bathroom to take a shower. Rolf, having walked by the bathroom and noticed that it was only cracked, couldn't help but peek and see Lee unstrap her bra with her back to the screen. As she turned around to the showerhead, before we could see anything, the screen shifted to an aroused, blushing Rolf, who dashed off-screen.
The following week, Lee was cleaning candied beets (Wish you were Ed) before, unbeknownst to her, Rolf tiptoed behind her with a barrel full of water before he splashed it on her, much to her surprise and shock. Rolf laughed heartily before Lee playfully attacked Rolf with a candied beet and chased him around the farm! Later, both Rolf and Lee could be seen smiling at one another as they made food from giant lobster, squid head, and sea urchin in the kitchen. They teasingly bumped sides and flung water on one another while Ajen and Kyema (Free as an Ed), in the background, looked at the two proud, sensing a growing bond between the two. At night, both Rolf and Lee could be seen riding around the farm in the former's tractor just for the fun of it. They smiled warmly at each other for about eight seconds until, suddenly, they appeared to be moving in for a kiss! But before they could, the tractor ran into a large stump and flipped over, sending the two flying into a mudpit! But rather than being disgusted, they laughed and the montage ended!
Moments later, Rolf was humming in the shower before suddenly, his door opened and the camera approached him.
"YA-SHEH-SHOY!" Rolf yelled startled as he covered his off-screen midsection, having realized that it was Lee who walked into his bathroom wearing nothing more than a long white towel over her body!
"Sorry, if I scared you." Lee smiled amorously.
"Why do you approach Rolf with nothing more than a drying cloth?" Rolf asked surprised, but nonetheless added aroused, "As Rolf's blood guardians have not yet rested for the night!"
"Yeah…yeah, they have!" Lee stepped into Rolf's shower and began to make-out with him passionately. She then dropped her towel as she continued to do so, but her body remained off-screen. Rolf picked her up and slammed her against the wall of the showerhead and continued to make-out with her.
Seconds later, the two could be seen on their knees embracing on Rolf's bed with only Lee's bare back facing the screen. Rolf sunk his face into Lee's neck as he wrapped his arms around her waist and she moaned and breathed heavily. Minutes later, the two were under Rolf's sheets making out with Rolf being on top of Lee. They kissed once more before the screen flashed white and returned to the outside of the Kankers' trailer in the current time.
"And yeah, don't worry." Lee grinned. "I took somethin' to keep you two from becoming aunts."
"You think this is a joke?" May frowned. "Just 'cause Rolf digs you don't mean his friends will! They'll think yer a common slut! Just like those Bitchshells!"
"They're the Bombshells and they're not sluts!" Lee stood up in got in May's face. "They fell in love with the Eds while we wasted part of our lives tryin' to force them to love us! I already moved on, girls! It's time you did, too!"
"Oh, we're movin' on alright!" Marie replied. "To our next plan to get what's ours! With or without you!"
Before Lee walked into the house, she turned around and glared at her sisters threateningly, "Get this! The longer you suck on this pathetic-ass obsession of yours, the worse you'll get! And with me being the oldest and having to take most of the heat, don't think for one damn second that I won't turn some of that heat back on you!...Lock the door when you come in."
Lee walked into the trailer and shut the door behind her.
The screen transitioned to the super-packed underground Droid Carnage arena the following night (the night of the fight), where Eddy, Ed, Kevin, and Nate could be seen sitting at the very back of the seats facing the north side of the ring.
"Hey, Eddy? How come we're sitting way up here when we've got reserved front seats down there where Double D is?" Ed asked.
"'Cause Lumpy, for the eighth time, we gotta keep a sharp eye out for McKellan and his gang of jerk-offs!" Eddy explained. "Can't have 'em floatin' around so they can be pussies and attack and rob Twan when he wins!"
"When he wins?" Kevin repeated. "Bro, he's goin' toe to toe with the world DC champ! There should be an "if" in there! I heard this Leon rich boy's been a cage fighter since he was 8!"
"Relax, Kevo!" Eddy smiled confidently. "I loaned him a secret weapon that'll help 'im win! Well, part of it, anyway!"
"And what if someone steals our seats and we don't see McKellan?" Nate asked.
"Trust me! Sockhead's not gonna let that happen!" Eddy pointed to Edd at the very front of the north stadium. The latter sat there relaxed and, right when four people tried to steal his friends' seats, they were electrocuted by an invisible force field, forcing them to run off!
Just then, Homer and Jason climbed into the ring before the former grabbed the microphone and spoke, "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! BEHOLD THE MATCH OF THE CENTURY! THE FIGHT OF ALL FIGHTS! THE CROWN JEWEL COMBAT EXPERIENCE OF LEGEND! INTRODUCING THE CHALLENGER! THE WORLD DROID CARNAGE CHAMPION AND OUR BIG BROTHER, LEON "BLACK ZERO" ANTONUCCI!"
Just then, Leon, in his drone suit, fell from the stadium ceiling and landed in the ring, triggering loud applause from everyone in the stadium! Leon's black and gray suit was very bulky and beefy; even more so than perhaps any other suit. The helmet-head resembled a brawny skull-head and the suit in general stood 8'5. Inside, we could see that Leon strongly resembled both of his younger brothers, but had dark brown hair and was more muscular than either of them.
"AND NOW FOR HIS OPPONENT!" Homer continued. "PEACH CREEK NATIVE AND REIGNING UNDERGROUND CHAMPION WITH AN ENTOURAGE MEMBER THAT MADE ALL THIS POSSIBLE, IN A WAY, ANTWAN "THE RIPPER" BENNETT!"
As almost everyone in the stadium cheered, they saw that Twan was nowhere to be found. After about eight seconds of complaining and booing, however, the suited up Twan approached the ring down an aisle. Jimmy and Caitlin were right behind him smiling as the crowd continued to cheer. Twan hopped into the ring before Homer explained, "AND REMEMBER! WITH THIS BEING A PROFESSIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP, THERE ARE ONLY TWO ROUNDS, WHICH MEANS BOTH FIGHTERS WILL BE JUDGED ON THEIR PERFORMANCES!"
"All right, champs! You know the rules so I ain't gonna waste my breath!" Jason stepped in between the fighters. "Touch knuckles and wait for the bell."
Leon lightly touched Twan's knuckles as Homer went on to say, "NOW, LET'S GET READY FOR…DROID CARNAGE!"
Once the bell rang, the fight began. At first, it wasn't really a fight. Leon's drone gave him a massive advantage over Twan in terms of strength. Leon brutally punched Twan in both cheeks and in the gut, delivered a head-slap, and knocked him on the floor, causing a portion of the audience to cheer.
"TWAN, GET UP!" Jimmy yelled.
"C'mon, baby!" Caitlin whispered concerned.
Twan got back up and landed a haymaker, but didn't do sufficient damage. Before he could deliver another one, Leon socked him in the gut, in the right cheek, and in the back of the head, forcing him on the ring floor again! Twan sprung himself back up before Leon could elbow-slam him! From inside his drone, we could see Twan smiling, "That's it, big guy! Keep thrashin'!"
Twan successfully landed a blow to an apparent weak-point under Leon's drone's jaw and managed to harm him, a first for the champ! But before he could do it again, Leon socked him in his own jaw and punched him onto the ring floor! He sprung himself back up, only to be knocked into his corner!
"NO! NO! NO! NOT THE CORNER!" Kevin yelled.
"That thing's just too powerful!" Ed worried, not noticing that Eddy was the only one smiling, as he and Twan were the only ones who knew what was happening was a matter of strategy.
"C'MON, TWAN!" Jimmy and Caitlin yelled as Twan was getting pummeled in his corner with his forearms being his only protection! Before Leon could land what could be considered a finishing move, Twan delivered an uppercut that forced Leon backwards, but didn't faze him! Twan attempted a haymaker, but ended up getting knocked on the floor again. Before Leon could strike again, the bell rang, ending the first round! Leon went to his corner to talk to his brothers and his apparent blonde girlfriend while Twan went to his corner to talk to Jimmy and Caitlin.
"What's going on with you?" Jimmy asked worried. "You're getting hurt in there! If you didn't wanna fight, I would've understood and got over it!"
"He's right, Twan!" Caitlin added. "You don't have to fight if you don't want to!"
"Wow. You guys are actually worried!" In his drone-suit, Twan was still smiling. "I'm strategizing! Notice anything about Leon's suit other than it's freakin' huge?"
"Uh…" Jimmy and Caitlin shrugged.
"He's slow!" Twan answered. "Yeah, he used so much power on me that I'm down to my last back-up power cell, but if you remember, his arms are so big, he's gotta use momentum instead of speed to get an edge! And every time he hit me before I could hit him, he was actually keepin' me from hittin' certain points!"
"Where'd you learn all this?" Caitlin asked.
"From a friend whose been in a helluva whole lotta fights! And a friend whose got tech to help me learn just in time for this fight!" Twan smirked, implying that he knows what he knows because of Eddy and Edd! "And of course, a nephew who made it all possible!"
"You mean…" Caitlin looked at Jimmy knowingly.
"Yeah, and let's hope I can finish this fight before it wears off!" Twan nodded.
In the audience, the McKellan gang was looking on at the ring in outrage, but for different reasons.
"I don't believe it!" Ryan exclaimed. "No one's been able to hold their own against the champ for even half a round! What the fuck makes Bennett so special?"
"Yeah!" Justin frowned. "Losers like him don't deserve hot pieces of ass like that girl down there! Right, Shawn?"
"Let's get the hell outta here!" Shawn stood up and began to walk towards the nearest exit aisle, almost as if he saw something!
"What? Why?" Justin asked.
"The fight ain't over!" Ryan argued.
"We'll watch it online! Let's go! Now!" Shawn demanded before Justin and Ryan followed confused.
Before they could reach the aisle, Nate was standing in their way with an angered facial expression. The gang wasn't terrified of him, but of Eddy, who stood a foot behind Nate. As a result, they tried to run towards the other exit aisle, but Ed, whom they're more terrified of than Eddy or Nate, stood in their way as well! They planned to hop from chair to chair down to the front seats (despite people sitting there), but Kevin suddenly stood up and turned around to avert this, making it impossible for them to escape!
"Let's talk outside…about how we listen!" Nate pointed to the exit building.
"Assclowns!" Eddy, Nate, Kevin, and Ed (who somehow got over to where his friends were) followed the McKellan gang out of the stadium, intent on beating them up.
In the ring, a redheaded ring-card girl in a leopard-skin bikini walked on the stage holding a "ROUND 2" sign with the fighters back in the corners. The bell rang before the two stared each other down first. Leon attempted a haymaker, but Twan ducked, punched him in the back, and delivered a powerful uppercut that fazed the champ, much to the Antonucci brothers' shock! Just then, Leon dished out a barrage of punches and succeeded in landing merely one before the faster Twan delivered swift karate-chops to certain points on Leon's drone-suit and a punch in the gut that caused Leon's suit to act odd!
"YEAH!" Caitlin cheered at the fact that her man was winning.
Leon attempted a sucker-punch, but Twan blocked it, delivered a punch to Leon's drone-suit's jaw weak-point, a blow to his left cheek, and another potent uppercut! Inside his suit, Leon was frustrated and decided to push his drone to its power limits! Leon, while still slow, managed to sucker-punch Twan all the way into his corner before he jumped in front of him and began attacking him with rapid punches! Twan kept his forearms in front of his face to block as Jimmy yelled, "TWAN, GET OUT OF THE CORNER!"
"NOT YET!" Twan yelled back, revealing that he was onto Leon's attempts. This exchange happened again when Twan was struck ten more times, "GET OUT! NOT YET!" nine times later, "GET OUT, NOW! NOT YET, KIDDO!" seven times later…Leon's drone suit began to slow down! Even more so than usual! This was obviously due to the damage Twan inflicted on him and the amount of power he used trying to take him (Twan) down!
"Hey, Jim!" We could see Twan's smiling face as he looked at a worried Jimmy. "NOW!"
Twan proceeded to take complete control of the fight with an uppercut, a blow to the gut and chest, and in slow-motion, a blow to the right jaw as he jumped up in the air and the crowd cheered wildly! Twan delivered countless swift punches and karate chops that forced the champ to stumble backwards rather than defend himself. After three more punches and a slow-motion uppercut…Leon was sent flying out of the ring just before time ran out! The entire crowd cheered (even the Lemon Brook kids)! Among them were Eddy, Ed, Nate, and Kevin, whom were sitting in their front row seats for an unknown amount of time.
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" Homer raised his hand in the air. "AFTER A QUICK WORD WITH THE JUDGES, I HAVE SOME NEWS FOR YOU! ON POINTS…BLACK ZERO IS SUPERIOR BY FIVE!" The crowd began to boo, but Homer raised his hand again, "LET ME FINISH! BUT, SINCE HE WAS KNOCKED OUT OF THE RING SECONDS BEFORE THE BELL RANG, THAT MAKES OUR WINNER THE NEW CHAMPION, ANTWAN "THE RIPPER" BENNETT!"
Twan hopped out of his drone suit to have his arm held up by Jason and Homer. Caitlin and Jimmy then hopped into the ring to join them. Twan and Caitlin kissed once before Jimmy gave Twan some dap. Just then, though, Twan picked up Jimmy and put him on his right shoulder.
"YOU DID IT, UNCLE TWAN!" Jimmy yelled.
"WE DID IT, JIM! WE DID IT!" Twan modestly corrected.
As the crowd chanted "RIPPER! RIPPER! RIPPER!" and all of Twan's friends entered the ring (to congratulate him personally), the screen faded to black.
End of episode 12
Did you know: "Robot Rebel Ranch" was the R-rated movie Ed desperately wanted to see in "Dawn of the Eds". I thought the mention of it in this episode would bring back warm memories.
This episode parodies one of the coolest movies of all time (to me anyway), "Real Steel" with a lot of things actually taken from that movie for plot's sake!
Lee's father (whom I named "Aaron Sawyer"), as revealed in "Nagged to Ed", is said to be named "Butch", but I believe that's only a nickname since I have never really heard of a man given the name "Butch" at birth.
"Scarlett Cross" is named and modeled after actress "Scarlett Johansson".
Phoenix's note: Again, sorry that this episode was so freakin' long. I'll try and shorten future ones if it's a problem. Also, I'm postponing the release of the 13th episode in favor of a Valentines' Day special, so I hope you guys'll be in a romantic mood come next month!
Title reference: A Change in Character.
Acknowledging the reference: Not only does it refer to the result of Jimmy hitting puberty, but it also refers to Lee's transformation into an elegant young woman and Brooke into a character we are now familiar with!