Hey guys, thank you again for taking the time to read and review. Splinter was a harder character for me to do. I can't imagine what it would be like to watch your child die and to try and understand that and try to wrap your mind around the fact that you might be watching your son die and that you'll have to face what happens after that with three more kids was a bit overwhelming. I don't feel like I've really got a good grip on Splinter - while he's essential to the turtles and the whole story I don't feel as if I know him as well, so I hope that he doesn't seem too off to anyone. But I gave it my best shot and I'm pleased with what I came up with - considering I had to rewrite it because my computer deleted half of it once.
I know that a few of you have asked me to do Leonardo's point of view, despite the fact that he's unconscious for most of this episode - to try and see what he went through. Or at least my version of it. And I have to say that I was not planning on doing Leonardo, Splinter was going to be my final chapter for this story. But when I was asked more than once I really thought it through and decided to have a go at what Leonardo was struggling with. So I gave it my best shot and I actually found it very easy to do and have already finished it. Unfortunately my week is very busy this week so it'll have to wait until next weekend before I can post it. So in the mean time I hope you enjoy my version of Splinters POV. And thanks again for those who take time to review, I really appreciate it and it's made it worth all the hours I've put into this story. Thanks again!
Chapter 4: Splinter
Parents are not supposed to watch their children die. It's wrong and goes against nature. The old are supposed to die before the young. It's the natural order. Of course sometimes the young are picked off when they aren't fast enough to escape their attackers, but this felt different to me.
I'd known that this world was a dangerous place before I'd even come to New York with my master Yoshi. With what had happened to Tang Shin, Yoshi's true love, I'd learned that things can always take a turn for the worst. And that was why I'd worked so hard to train my sons the art of ninjitsu, so they could defend themselves should they ever need to. But I'd hoped it wouldn't be necessary.
Now I was facing my worst fears as I looked down at the lifeless face of my oldest. Leonardo. He was so still, his breathing shallow, his pulse erratic, his body broken. But worse than that, his spirit crushed by his defeat at the hands of Shredder's minions.
Leonardo had always been strong, always level-headed, with the exception of Raphael getting under his shell. Leonardo and Raphael were bound to clash, they had so much in common. It's hard for a parent to watch their children fight, knowing that you love them both the same, that neither of them is more important than the other, knowing each had their strengths and weaknesses but that they complimented each other well. But also knowing that stepping between them wouldn't solve anything. They weren't little anymore and they needed to learn how to work these things out on their own, for one day I wouldn't be here anymore and they wouldn't have a choice but to resolve these issues when I would no longer stand between them.
"Is he going to make it, Sensei?" Donatello asked me, his voice just shy of cracking, the words laced with fear. The fear of loosing his brother.
I frowned as I pulled the purple blankets Casey had given us when we'd gotten into this trailer tighter around Leonardo's shoulders. I didn't like this. Even as cold as it was in the trailer, even as cold as my other sons were, Leonardo was colder. Every time I touched him his temperature seemed to have dropped. I knew it was natural for cold-blooded creatures temperature to drop when their surroundings were cold, and I'd always accepted that the turtles would always feel cool to me. But this was different. This cold was troublesome. This cold terrified me.
But how did one tell his son that his brother may not survive? That he could be watching his brother die?
No! I wasn't going to believe that. Leonardo was stronger than this, he'd fight it. That much I knew, and I had to have faith that Leonardo would pull through. I had to give him strength, even though I wasn't sure I had any myself at this point. But that didn't matter, Leonardo needed me to be strong right now and I would be strong for him.
"Only time will tell," I said quietly as I looked sadly at Leonardo's peaceful face.
On the other side of the trailer Raphael was staring at Leonardo, his face hard a scowl pulling at his mouth. I sighed quietly to myself knowing that if Leonardo did not pull through this, it would hit Raphael the hardest.
Raphael had always been the hardest of my sons to get through, he kept himself hidden behind a tough shell, letting his anger over rule any emotional outbursts. Instead of being sad he'd be angry and he'd either burn out that anger with extra practice with his wooden dummy and punching bag, or by hitting the surface. Not that I always approved of the second one. I knew how Raphael really felt about his brothers though, and even though he and Leonardo might clash more than either of their other brothers, I knew that the loss of one would be the end for the other.
Raphael might not let on just how badly this broke him, he'd hide the pain behind anger and wise remarks. But he'd loose a part of himself as well. The part that gave him that fighting edge, the part that sparked his spirit. That would die with Leonardo.
Michelangelo and Donatello would be just as devastated, as would I. I highly doubted that new things would be built, that pranks would be played, that video games would be used. Our family would fall when Leonardo did. I knew from the instant I realized that ooze had mutated us that we would always be a unit, if one of us fell the others would soon follow, just like the domino effect.
The trailer rocked and bumped as Casey turned sharply off the main highway to a dirt road, it twisted and turned, and I gripped Leonardo to stop him from rocking too much, trying to prevent further injuries. I wasn't sure how much more he could take, but I knew it couldn't be much. The body goes through a lot in life, and can handle many things - but after a while it becomes too much and the body can't deal with the trauma anymore. And I feared as I looked down at Leonardo's face as I held him that maybe this time Leonardo's body had taken a beating that was too much for it to handle.
Donatello, Raphael and I carried Leonardo inside the worn out old farm house, my sons bearing most of the weight but I carried his legs so they would not drag in the snow. I knew my sons could easily handle it on their own, but I needed to do this too. Needed to be there for Leonardo at all times, so he knew I wasn't going to give up on him, that I wasn't going to leave him. That he wasn't alone. I knew if he was going to pull through this he'd need the help from all of us.
April had already prepared a spot for him on the couch, it was old and moth-eaten, but it was better than the ground. She had her back to us, fumbling with the floo at the fire place. Michelangelo and Casey were getting wood to start a fire.
Raphael and Donatello carefully eased Leo onto the couch and we laid him flat, covering him with the thick quilt to keep him warm. Donatello's eyes were wide with worry and Raphael scowled at the floor, his fingers curling towards his palms then going limp again. He didn't really seem to be looking at anything, rather he seemed to be thinking some deep thoughts about something.
The front door opened with a loud creak and Casey's heavy boots echoed on the wooden floor, Michelangelo's were much softer. Both were carrying arms full of fire wood.
"So it could use some fixin' up," Casey was saying a little defensively to Michelangelo. "The place got a little run down after Grandma passed away."
April succeeded in opening the floo at that moment and a big ball of dust and soot flooded the room. April got a face full of it and began to cough at once, Michelangelo not quite as close but still getting a cloud of his own coughed as well.
"When was that?" Michelangelo asked in a skeptical tone. "In the late Jurassic?"
Casey's eyes narrowed and the lines around his mouth tightened. His long fingers curled around the wood in his arms and a vein popped on his forehead. "Dude, you live in a sewer!"
This time Michelangelo bristled, getting on the defensive. He opened his mouth to snap back but we were all distracted when Leonardo groaned.
"Leo?" Donatello asked his voice not hiding his worry now. His voice went up an octave, alerting me to the fact that something was terribly wrong. I hurried to Leonardo's head and placed a hand on his forehead. He was even colder than he'd been inside the trailer.
I turned to see everyone gathered around, even Michelangelo and Casey both of their mouths open in shock. My eyes narrowed.
"Start the fire now, we need to get it warmed up in here. Michelangelo go upstairs and see what's up there, we may need some extra blankets." Casey immediately started for the fireplace, crouching down and arranging the logs in the old ashes that were littered at the bottom of the fireplace. Michelangelo nodded once and then hurried upstairs.
"I'll go make us something to eat," April suggested as she headed towards the kitchen.
A few minutes later there was a spark as Casey successfully started a fire. The warm glow immediately began to heat up the room, chasing away the chill. Then Casey excused himself into the kitchen as well, leaving me and my sons alone.
Leonardo, my son. I kept my eyes closed as I called Leonardo's name, hoping that on some spiritual plain he'd be able to hear me. I kept my breathing steady, listening for his labored breaths, each one a strained movement. One of my hands rested on his forehead, keeping track of how his temperature fluctuated. It was a little warmer now that the fire was burning well and strong in the fireplace, but still remarkably colder than my own - and those of his brothers. That still worried me, and I feared that despite our best efforts we might loose him anyway.
The battle at April's had been hard on all of us, the hits had often hit home and I could see the results on each of my sons' bodies. Leonardo had gotten the worst of it of course, he'd been alone when he'd been ambushed, so every hit had been harder, each bruise or cut was twice that of what his brothers had. I had no idea how many he'd fought off alone, but I knew that he would have tried as hard as he could to get back to us once those first foot ninja attacked. But I had no idea how far away he'd been when that had happened, or how many more showed up when he had started back. But from the extent of his injuries I knew that there must have been a lot.
Shredder's attack was a cowardly gambit, wearing us down by shear numbers. If he had tried it with us, I'm sure that he had done so with Leonardo first. Leonardo's skills were almost unmatched, he often bested his brothers in sparring matches, but even Leonardo could not have fought off the throngs of foot ninja alone. There had been too many and they had just kept coming. When we took one down five more would be there to replace him. The Shredder had sent his entire guard to attack us, to defeat us, and we had been defeated. If not for that hole in the wall where that old cooling unit had been removed we would not have survived that blast.
"Dinner," April announced as she came in carrying a tray with a large pizza on it. She set it down in front of us while Casey followed with two liters of soda. I wasn't hungry, and doubted that I could have eaten if if I'd wanted to. Which I didn't. I could see that each of my sons felt the same way and I frowned. With the amount of energy they'd used to fight our way out of the antique shop they needed to replenish their bodies with nutrition. I frowned at them, and simultaneously, as if they knew I was looking at them, they turned to look at me then reluctantly reached for the pizza.
Raphael made no attempt in eating his slice, instead he stared down at it, frowning, slowly squeezing it in his hand, pulverizing it until grease and cheese coated his green skin. Donatello tried and managed to eat half of his slice, but each bite was difficult for him and he swallowed slowly, as if afraid it would get caught in his throat. He gave up after a while and left what was left of the pizza on the floor as he focused on Leonardo once again. Michelangelo too ate slower than usual, trying not to make a face as each bite slid down his throat. After he finished he leaned a little to one side and looked a little weighed down. Almost as if his body no longer wanted to hold him upright.
Casey and April seemed to realize that no one was really interested in eating, so they took what remained of dinner back into the kitchen and we all gathered around couch and Leonardo.
The hours passed slowly, but eventually the sun's rays began to shrink away from the window before disappearing beyond the horizon all together. The moon began to rise but was quickly hidden behind the blanket of thick clouds. Snow began to fall soon after that and it covered the world in another fine layer of white. The night came to life as the nocturnal creatures began to wake up and call to each other. Somewhere far off in the distance an owl hooted quietly to itself.
Inside the house all was still, except for the occasional pop of the fire as it danced in the fireplace. We were still gathered around Leonardo and he hadn't moved at all. His breathing was getting more strained with each inhale and his pulse was becoming weaker with each heartbeat. I could feel some part of me breaking as I realized that maybe this time Leonardo wasn't going to come back. I could feel my resolve breaking, though I maintained a firm mask for my sons on the outside. They could not afford for me to break right now, not when they needed me to lean on. I placed my hand on Leonardo's forehead again and my heart sank as my hand came into contact with his cold almost lifeless skin again. Despite the fact that the room was a comfortable temperature now Leonardo's body was simply not reacting to it. It was shutting down - he was dying. I was going to loose my son and I was helpless to stop it.
My sons were very still beside me, all of them focused on Leonardo. All of them anxiously waiting for him to wake up. April and Casey stood back, apart, but still close enough to see. Raphael was shifting his weight impatiently and I knew it was only a matter of time before he let out a small piece of the frustration that had been building up ever since we got into that old trailer. Raphael had never been very good at keeping his temper in check, and he found it gratifying to release that built up frustration by channeling it into his training or sparring matches. It worked well for him at times, but other times it got the best of him and clouded his judgement.
Leonardo always recognized the signs, and was usually able to stop Raphael before he go in too deep to get himself back out again. Like the time Raphael and Michelangelo had had a simple sparring match and Michelangelo had bested Raphael. Raphael had reached for a discarded lead pipe and had gone after Michelangelo with all intentions to bash Michelangelo's head with it. Leonardo had stopped him, had made Raphael see reason, but just.
If Raphael lost Leonardo that would change, and I feared that no matter how hard I tried, or how hard his brothers tried Raphael would never be the same again. As much as Raphael hated to follow orders, hated being told what to do or where to be, he knew that on some level that he needed it. That following Leonardo's instructions would ultimately help them win the battle in the end. It was one of the reasons Leonardo often took the lead when he and his brothers went to the surface. But not the only one.
Leonardo had shouldered the responsibility of his brothers' safety at an early age. Not because I'd put it on his shoulders, I'd always done my best to protect my family, but Leonardo too felt responsibility towards his brothers. He looked out for them, kept them safe when I wasn't around, and so in turn I'd often left him in charge when I'd gone scavaging for food or supplies. Most of the time Leonardo was able to keep his brothers in life, but sometimes a fight would break out between him and Raphael.
As my sons grew their relationship grew closer. Leonardo was still the unoffical head of the team as he was able to strategizethe best and knew his brothers strengths and weaknesses, using them to their advantage as a team. His brothers followed him without question now, falling quickly into where Leonardo put them, and most of the time they won. My sons worked best as a team, as a family unit, and they always would.
Leonardo, with his sense of responsibility, dedication to ninjitsu, and maturity had officially made him the 'big brother' of the team. He led every fight they went into, keeping an eye on his brothers, always being there if they needed him. Raphael was the fiercest fighter out of the four of them, his attacks more powerful and doing the most damage, but he often let his temper get in the way and that would make him loose focus. Donatello was the most peaceful of the group, more eager to be in his workshop tinkering with things, building new vehicles or building new gadgets for he and his brothers to use. He'd rather talk things out than fight with someone, but he was also a skilled and just as lethal as his brothers when it came to protecting his brothers. Michelangelo often spent most of his time reading comic books, playing video games, and spouting TV and movie media whenever the occasion arose to use them. He'd much rather be playing pranks on his brothers than practicing his ninjitsu skills and rarely took his training sessions seriously. But he was also the most natural athletic of the group, not having to train hard to be good at what he does. His moves in battle are often flashy, but fast and easily inflict damage.
Yes, Leonardo knew all these things and used them to help win their battles. The question was, if Leonardo didn't pull through this - would his brothers be able to do the same? Or would we simply fall apart, the devastation of our loss too much to keep us together?
Flesh smacked against drywall, making the bones crack. I looked up from Leonardo's face to Raphael. He was scowling at his brother, his body tense, hands curled into fists, he didn't even seem to notice the dent he'd left in the wall.
"Why won't he wake up?" Raphael growled through clenched teeth, as his eyes narrowed a little. He worked his jaw and hunched his shoulders, almost as if ready to launch himself at someone, anyone, who dared approach Leonardo with the intention of hurting him.
"Healing takes time," I said patiently as I returned my hand to Leonardo's forehead again. He was colder than the last time I'd touched him. I frowned and my stomach tightened a little. "And Leonardo is recovering from more than just physical wounds. His spirit has also been grievously injured."
Raphael's face went blank then dark with disbelief, where as his brothers looked shocked.
"Do you think he can hear us?" Donatello asked hesitantly, his eyes wide with fear and wonder at the same time.
I pondered that for half a second. With all I'd ever seen, heard, or read I knew that it wasn't uncommon for people in a comatose state to hear the voices of their loved ones as they talked to them. Often it helped pull them out of their comas - but sometimes it didn't.
"Perhaps," I said a little reluctantly as I pulled away from Leonardo, giving Donatello my spot next to Leonardo's head. I moved back beside April and watched.
"Hey, Leo, it's me Don," Donatello said as he lifted one hand to Leonardo's blanket and wrapped his hand around the fabric, clenching it in his fist. "You're going to pull through this - I know you are."
My shoulders sagged a little at that. I wasn't sure if Donatello believed that or if he was merely just saying it for Leonardo's sake, but at this point I wasn't sure if he was going to be right or not. If he wasn't, and Leonardo didn't pull through...I didn't want to finish that thought.
"You have to," Donatello continued as he put determination behind those words. "You know what kind of trouble we'd get into without you." He paused for a few seconds then cocked his head to the side as something came to mind. "Like remember the time I built that remote control car...?"
"You really came through for me that day, Leo," Donatello concluded as he finished the story of the time he'd lost his car and had nearly drowned when he'd fallen in after it. If it hadn't been for Leonardo, Donatello would have died as a mere toddler. Even at that tender age he'd always been looking out for his brothers.
"You always do," Donatello said and his voice broke a little as he looked at his brother desperately. "And I know you will again."
"Huh," Raphael snapped sarcastically. Donatello looked at him in surprise, his eyes wide. "Looks like you've got him hangin' on your every word, Don."
Donatello pressed his lips together and narrowed his eyes, but then his face mirrored Raphael's as Leonardo groaned and turned his head from side to side on the pillow.
"Hey, I think he heard ya, Raphie," Casey said almost hopefully.
"Maybe talking to him does help," April suggested from beside me.
Raphael's face didn't change, he still just looked at his brother, his face blank with shock - not yet hopeful but unbelieving. But even from where I stood I could see Leonardo's breathing had eased a little and suddenly I felt hope. I knew that Leonardo had almost given up, given in, but now he was fighting. He was fighting to come back to us. And he was giving it all he had to do so.
"It is said that the voice of a loved one can help guide a lost spirit back to it's home," I said as I looked over at April. A small smile pulled at one side of her mouth, her eyes shining with hope.
Michelangelo stepped forward, a little hesitantly and he bit on his lower lip as he looked at Leo's perfectly still body, except for the steady rise and fall of the blanket as he breathed. "Do you mind if I take a crack at it?"
Donatello quickly moved aside for him and Michelangelo stepped forward, dropping next to his brother and leaning close to Leonardo's face. "Listen, bro, just like concentrate on my voice..."
I waited, holding my breath as I studied Leonardo's face. It remained unchanged, except that it had tipped back a little with the force of his inhales. He was breathing deeply now and I felt a band loosen from around my chest. I breathed with him.
"Come on, Leo," Michelangelo said as he put force and strength behind his words. "You know how focused you get when you set your mind to something."
That was true. Leonardo worked endlessly until he perfected something, putting mind, spirit, and body together until they worked in harmony to get whatever new skill I taught them down perfectly. He berated himself when he didn't get it right the first few times, then pushed beyond his limits until he did. I'd seen him struggle for days to get his split kick right, he'd been frustrated with himself, trying over and over again, meditating on the matter, practicing in training, practicing alone, and then finally getting it down when confronted by the purple dragons as he and his brothers helped get Casey out of a tight spot. Leonardo had beamed at me when they'd come home and shown me that he had accomplished and perfected the new move.
Michelangelo leaned closer to Leonardo's face. "Like remember the time you were trying to perfect your katas...?"
"Leo, when you put your mind to something - you're unstoppable." Michelangelo finished his story of how he'd tried to break Leonardo's concentration. It hadn't worked of course, Leonardo had always been able to set his mind on one task and focus on that one task until he had it down. Of course, it didn't make him unaware of what went on around him so when Michelangelo had tried to hit him with his nunchakusLeonardo had caught one end and knocked Michelangelo's feet out from under him. Before Michelangelo could recover Leonardo was on top of him pinning him to the ground, glaring down at him. Michelangelo had come in with more than a few bruises that day - Leonardo didn't have a mark on him.
"So how about using that famous focus of yours to come back to us?" Michelangelo pleaded.
"Ha," Raphael snapped. We all looked at him. He had his arms crossed and a grim smile slid across his face - but it was wrong, it pinched his cheeks and didn't reach his eyes. "If you ask me Leo's not coming back because he's afraid."
Michelangelo stiffened and Donatello frowned at him. Neither of them heard the pain and fear behind those hot words. Raphael's mask was cracking and this was the only way he knew to fight back the emotions that he always tried so hard to avoid.
"No one asked you!" Michelangelo snapped back hotly, rising swiftly to his feet and pointing an accusing finger at Raphael.
Raphael brushed past him and towered over Leonardo, glaring down at him, his hands clenched to fists at his sides. "You know he got his butt whooped and now he's too chicken to come back and face it!" Raphael continued , ignoring the looks of disbelief and anger on his brothers' faces.
"That's enough, Raph!" Donatello said, for once not his calm collected self. He placed a restraining hand on Raphael's shoulder but Raphael shook it off. I saw Michelangelo look at me from the corner of his eye, as if wondering why I wasn't stepping forward to stop Raphael from yelling at Leonardo, but I knew better than to stop him. If I did it would only make things worse. They might not hear the pain and fear behind those words but I could. So instead I waited.
"Well I say who needs ya?" Raphael growled, his shoulders stiffening a little when Leonardo's teeth ground together and his breath escape on a strained exhale at those words. "It's not like we can't get on without you playin' 'fearless leader'."
Raphael faltered, his words choking off as his anger drained out of him quickly. The grief and fear of loosing Leonardo for once over powering his anger. His shoulders sagged and he dropped his head. I couldn't see his face from where I stood but from the slight quivering of his hands and neck I could've sworn that Raphael was fighting back tears.
"Back in the day I always thought I was gonna be top turtle," Raphael said after several long seconds of silence. Donatello and Michelangelo's expressions both changed from heated anger to worry in half a second. They saw it now - saw the depth of Raphael's pain.
"I was strongest, bravest," Raphael continued ignoring us as if we were no more alive than the paint on the walls. It was easier for him this way I knew. To pretend that we weren't here while his emotions overwhelmed him. We all waited in silence, our breathing almost inaudible over the crackle of the flames in the fireplace. "Remember the time I brought you to that closed off section of the sewer? We were playin' follow the leader..."
"I don't even know why I told ya that story," Raphael said quickly, a little of the heat returning to his voice. But his body didn't have the same response. It sagged even further and he looked away from Leonardo, as if unable to look at him. "I guess you just...I mean...what I'm trying to say is..." He couldn't finish. His body sagged a little and he lifted on hand to his face, trying to hide it from all of us.
Leonardo groaned again and rolled his head quickly from side to side, his only way of letting us know that he was still there - that he could hear us.
I stepped forward now and placed a hand on Raphael's shoulder, trying to comfort him. I could see the single tear slip out from underneath his closed eyelid and slip into his mask, making the material stick to his skin. "Your brother hears you, Raphael, he understands."
Though Raphael had never finished what he was trying to say, Leonardo had gotten it - as I knew he would. Raphael might not always get along with him, but he loved Leonardo. To loose him would take a toll so great on Raphael that he might not ever be able to overcome it.
Raphael pulled away from my touch and I didn't stop him. Instead I watched with sad eyes while Raphael walked over to the window and leaned his head against the cool glass. He seemed to be looking out at the snow storm for a minute, but then he lifted his hand to his face again and I knew it was just to get away from us as he tried to control his grief. Tried to but couldn't.
It seemed like a very long time passed before Raphael pulled away from the window and joined us again, but even then he just stood behind the couch and stared out the window there, watching as the snow continued to blanket everything in white. The moon peeked through the thick veil of clouds, and for an instant everything sparkled as the light touched the glistening crystals, but then the clouds shifted and the moon was gone again.
I took my place next to Leonardo's head again and I was surprised to see beads of sweat glistening Leonardo's brow. His forehead was furrowed and a frown pulled down the corners of his mouth. Was he waking up? I felt something inside me flutter. But I knew Leonardo was far from coming back to us yet. He was fighting a battle inside of himself, the desire of returning to us was loosing to the fear he had faced when he'd gone up against those unbeatable odds and lost. I'd have to make him fight harder, make his desire to live stronger than his fear of loosing again. But how?
"Leonardo, my son," I began, not quite sure where I was going to go with this, but knowing I had to try. "You must gather all your strength and confront your fear. Just as you did many years ago." I placed my hand on Leonardo's now warm forehead and could feel the pulse of his heart underneath the thin membrane of his skin. It was stronger and steadier now, his breathing had stopped coming in such strained gasps. I felt hope and strength renew me and I let those feelings sink in, hoping that they would flow into Leonardo as well.
"Come on, Sensei," Raphael said skeptically as he turned away from the window. He looked at me disbelieving. "Leo's never been afraid of nothin' in his life."
That wasn't true. All of my son's had been afraid of something at one time or another. I knew that Leonardo still had fears he faced every day. He just hid those feelings well, protecting his brothers from them. But when he was a child he'd been unable to mask those fears from me and I'd discovered one day when we'd gone out to gather up food and supplies together.
"Not true, my son," I said with a slight shake of my head and I smiled a little to myself as I now knew how to get through to Leonardo, to make him see that he did have the strength to do this - to fight this new fear. "Do you recall, Leonardo, our early days? We were scavenging for food and supplies..."
Leonardo had conquered his fears then - he'd focused on the task at hand. In that case saving me. Although I'd been able to save myself at anytime, though he had not known that until afterward. He'd looked up at me in disbelief, questions in his eyes. I'd smiled down at him as I wound the rope up into a coil once again.
'But you could've saved yourself at any time.'
'And you would still be consumed by your fear - by focusing on the task at hand you were able to clear your mind of all distractions.'
It had worked then - so it should work now.
"Do so again, ignore the fear, my son," I said confidently as I looked down at Leonardo's face. It wasn't so peaceful now - in fact it was tight and hard. His jaw and teeth were clenched and his breathing was a little sharper, coming in soft pants. More sweat beaded on his head and rolled down into his mask. Whatever internal battle he was fighting he was fighting it hard.
"Let your spirit heal," I continued letting my voice be as soothing as I could make it. "Find your way home - return to us."
Leonardo's face relaxed then and he groaned quietly for a few seconds before going still again.
From behind me Michelangelo inhaled sharply and I could feel the tension from where I was kneeling on the floor. Raphael stepped away from the window he'd moved to while I'd retold the story to Leonardo and now he watched beside his brothers, just as tense and worried as they were.
"Is he..." Michelangelo asked his voice breaking with the strain and fear that radiated from him.
But I knew Leonardo wasn't gone - hadn't given up on us. Hadn't stopped fighting. I waited patiently while Leonardo broke through the fear that was holding him back. And I was rewarded.
"No...fear..." Leonardo gasped and then a few seconds later his eyelids pulled apart and he looked up at us.
Cheers from his brothers erupted, all three of them calling out his name with delight and relief. Casey and April were silent, I didn't see what they were doing. I didn't look away from Leonardo, who in turn was looking at me. A single tear escaped from my eye and I wiped it away with one finger as I smiled down at my son. It had taken a lot of courage and strength to overcome what Leonardo had just overcome and I was so proud of him. He wasn't fully healed yet, but the danger had passed.
"Uh, sorry," Casey said suddenly from behind me, sounding very awkward.
"Right," April agreed, sounding just as embarrassed.
"We thought you were gone, bro," Raphael said his voice suddenly bright and I glanced over to see Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael all beaming at Leonardo.
Leonardo returned their smile and his voice cracked a little with disuse he answered him. "I...was...but you brought me back - all of you." He closed his eyes for a brief second and then opened them again. I could see he was fatigued. Although he'd been unconscious for the better part of the day he hadn't really been resting- he'd been fighting for his life and that would be enough to wear out anyone. He needed more rest, and he'd do that better if we weren't all sitting around staring at him.
"You fought your way back, my son," I corrected as I stood up and placed a hand on Leonardo's plastron. He smiled a little at the touch and looked up at me with soft warm eyes. "You have done well."
He knew that but still he looked relieved to hear it. "Thank you, Sensei."
Then with a quiet sigh he turned his head away from me, a smile on his lips and let his eyes close again. His breathing quickly evened out as unconsciousness, the healing kind this time, took him. And yet even in his sleep his smile didn't fade. I smiled down at him for half a second.
"The danger is past," I said feeling the relief at those words as I turned away from him. I turned back to the others, all who smiled back at me - relief in their eyes as well. "Now we must let him rest."
They took the hint. I started to leave the room and they all followed me, not saying a word. But then again we didn't need to.
As I reached the bottom of the stairs Raphael's voice made me pause.
"Hey, Leo," Raphael said as he looked at Leonardo over his shoulder. "If you need anything I'll be right outside."
I smiled and started up the stairs as I heard Leonardo sigh contentedly in his sleep.