A/N: Thanks so much for the encouragment from the kind reviewers! I'm continuing to post hoping that some other people might enjoy it!
Chapter 4
After Simon's death, Adelaide's life had felt upended- a topsy-turvy version of what it should have been without Simon's steady presence by her side. However, slowly as the first few weeks past and then the next few, she began to feel settled again. She desperately missed her husband, but the new normal of her life was taking over and with it, she felt a calming peace for the first time- like just maybe, she could do this life without him. She had always loved medicine- it intrigued her, it challenged her and Neil, realizing this, took the time to explain things, patiently answering her questions, whether during the few surgeries they did together, or on the way to or from patient visits. He was impressed by her skill and intelligence, amused by her inquisitiveness and frankly enjoyed being able to talk to someone who understood about his work. Adelaide brought a different perspective, able to clearly articulate the strengths and weaknesses in his research and he had to admit, Simon was right- she was becoming invaluable to him.
Then, one morning, things changed again, throwing Adelaide's world off balanced once more and destroying the calm she was beginning to feel. She had been fighting queasiness for the past week off and on, thinking she was just run down from the seven weeks of non-stop work. Christy had rushed Zady Spencer to the mission having doubled over in acute pain, complaining of a powerful ache in her lower belly and after Adelaide gently examined her, she concluded that it was probably appendicitis. Neil arrived shortly, concurred with that diagnosis and they prepped for surgery.
They were twenty minutes into the surgery, when Addie had to forcibly fight the urge to gag. The smell of surgery had never been pleasant, but usually she was fine with it. In the past weeks, she had smelled a lot (especially after her first visit to check on Swannie O'Teale and the children) and never had much of a problem with it, though now, it was causing her to think she was going to lose her breakfast right then and there.
"You okay, Addie?" Neil asked, noticing the way she was squirming and how her hands were shaking when she handed him the instrument. As always, he was explaining to her what he was doing and usually Adelaide listened intently and talked over each step with him, asking questions, but today, he could tell she was uncomfortable. And silent, which was never a good sign. "You aren't going to pass out on me, are you?" he asked, half jokingly.
"Very funny, Neil" Adelaide handed him the tray and she tried to take a couple deep breaths, which was probably not the best idea. She prayed for relief and thankfully, in that moment, Alice Henderson came in.
"I heard about this" Alice washed her hands. "Does thee need help?"
"I think we have it in hand" Neil told her, but Adelaide spoke up.
"Actually, could you take over for a while, Miss Alice?" Adelaide asked. "I need a break"
Neil stopped for a moment to look over at her in surprise. "What's wrong?"
"I don't know" Adelaide admitted. "The smells are getting to me today"
"You're joking" Neil retorted, his voice incredulous. "You have smelled much worse things than this in the past two months and hardly flinched"
"Don't remind me" She gagged as she remembered some of those smells. Handing the instruments to Alice, she quickly left to go outside and empty her stomach.
"She has run herself down" Neil told Alice, his brow furrowed in worry, as he continued his work. "I don't know how Simon controlled her tendency to overwork herself. I noticed that when I was in Asheville"
"Adelaide is driven" Alice replied. "perhaps too much now that Simon is gone- a way to forget the fact that she misses him? Surely, thee remembers what that feels like. We both do"
"I do" Neil responded. "Do you think she is alright?"
"Thou should focus on thy task" Miss Alice instructed. "I'm sure Mrs. Napier is fine. I do not believe it is life-threatening"
Neil nodded. They worked for an hour and finally finished up- Zady due to make a full recovery.
"I'll take over if thou wishes to check on Mrs. Napier" Alice told him. "But Neil-" her voice was quiet. "I didn't want to say anything to thee while in the middle of surgery, but I was the same way when I was expecting Margaret"
Neil's eyes widened slightly and Miss Alice laughed, "Does thou need to me to explain to thee about the birds and the bees as Miss Huddleston so eloquently puts it?" she teased him. "Don't tell me that surprises thee- Simon and Adelaide were always quite affectionate with each other and they were married"
"No, it isn't surprising, maybe just the timing of it. Why hasn't she said anything? We have spent so much time together" Neil looked concerned. "Does she not trust me? And I'm usually perceptive"
"It's unlikely she realizes it" Miss Alice told him. "Otherwise she would have told one of us. I could be wrong, but that would be my guess. But thou is the doctor, so thou can make thy own diagnosis"
Neil reached for his medical bag and walked up the steps to Adelaide's room, knocking on it softly.
"Come in" Adelaide called, her voice shaky. Neil entered, leaving the door open.
"I'm sorry, Neil" Addie told him from her spot lying on her bed, trying to sit up, but Neil pushed her down, his hand firm on her shoulder. "How's Zady?"
"She'll be right as rain- as the children say-in a few days" he frowned as he sat on her bed. "I'm worried about you" He snapped open his medical bag and pulled out his stethoscope.
Adelaide groaned, her face flushing from embarrassment. "I've never done that-not since my early days of nursing school. I must be coming down with something"
"Hum" Neil studied her intently. "What are your symptoms?"
"Really?" Adelaide wanted to roll her eyes at him. "It's just a virus or something. I don't need a doctor. Give me twenty four hours and I'll be right as rain too"
"Need I remind you that you interrupted my surgery?" Neil told her, shaking his finger at her, with mock sternness. "You will be cooperative"
"I wouldn't say I interrupted" Adelaide argued as Neil helped her sit up and used his stereoscope to listen to her heart. "You are exaggerating"
"Shh. Quiet, now" he hushed her and concentrated on his task and then moved her over so he could listen to her chest. "Deep breath"
"But I thought you wanted me to tell you my symptoms" she told him, sweetly.
"Be a good patient, Adelaide" Neil chided, rolling his eyes. "You are surlier than the children. Take a deep breath"
"Fine" Adelaide retorted and breathed for him.
Neil put his stethoscope back into his bag. "Symptoms?" he asked again.
"Fatigue, Nausea, Vomited once" Adelaide replied. "This is really unnecessary. I'm sure I am fine"
"Stop arguing, Adelaide" Neil retorted, his voice turning legitimately stern. "We are doing this or I'm not allowing you to do anything in the next two weeks in case you are contagious"
"I seriously doubt I would be contagious more than two or three days" Adelaide shrugged. "A fact you very well know"
"Well, we won't know for sure unless I examine you, will we? And then I'll have to assume that you are. But I do suppose you are right. It's your choice" Neil said and Adelaide knew he had won.
"Very well" she replied. "But I reserve the right to say I told you so when you find out that I am fine"
"Absolutely. I wouldn't deny you the pleasure" Neil told her and Adelaide laughed.
"Now, any pain?" he asked.
"Actually" Adelaide frowned, thinking about it. "Off and on in the past few days- not really pain, per se, more like discomfort I guess. When I walk especially- like a pulling sensation that twinges off in pain. It's been odd but I've been so busy I didn't really think much of it"
"Where?" Neil asked and Adelaide pointed to the area, in her lower pelvic area. "Here, but I'm sure it's nothing"
"May I?" Neil asked and Adelaide groaned. "If you insist-"
"I do" Neil replied, firmly and he helped her lie down so he could press down on her stomach.
"Any pain?" he asked and she shook her head. "Last menstrual cycle?"
"Neil" Adelaide snapped, but then paused, the blood draining from her face. "I-I don't remember" her voice was hoarse, and she swallowed hard.
"Before or after Simon's death?" Neil inquired as he helped her sit back up. His hand didn't move from her arm.
Adelaide thought. "It was before- that last week in Asheville before we left to come here"
"That was over two months ago, Adelaide" Neil pointed out. "Is that common for you?"
She shook her head slowly. "Not at all"
"Well, I guess now we know why you lost your breakfast and interrupted my surgery" Neil said with mock severity.
Adelaide closed her eyes tightly. "How did I miss this?" she asked. "This is not like me" She had to fight the tears that threatened to form. She knew she was supposed to be happy to have the baby as a piece of Simon, but right now, she just felt overwhelmed by it all. Simon was supposed to be here with her and his death now didn't just leave her a widow, but also a single mother. It was something she never anticipated happening.
"You've been busy and you have had a lot going on" Neil told her. "It's easy enough to do"
"I don't know how I feel about this" she admitted, wearily.
"That's understandable given the circumstances. Give yourself some time to adjust to the idea" Neil told her. "In the meantime, no surgeries until your morning sickness passes. Alice can help again. You can help with research and patient visits if you feel up to it, but don't push yourself"
"But I'm here to help-" Adelaide protested. "I don't want to not help you with what you need"
"And you are helping" Neil patted her arm. "You are just going to help a little less until you feel better. Don't argue with your doctor, Adelaide"
She sighed. "I wouldn't dream of it. I know what a hopeless endeavor that is"
Neil laughed at her. "When do you think you conceived?" he asked.
She paused, thinking it through. "Probably right before Simon's death, which puts the baby to be born-"
"Early January" Neil finished. "Maybe a New Year's babe?"
"Wouldn't that be something?" Adelaide asked, her hand moving her stomach. She took a breath. "I feel like I should probably let you know something as my doctor"
"What is it?" Neil asked, studying her worried look.
"I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks after Simon and I first married" she told him, softly. "That's why mother is so against me working while I was married and so vocal about it. She blamed my long hours and balancing that and keeping up the house. I told her that it wasn't the case. Simon told her it wasn't the case- that it happens sometimes, but she didn't fully believe us" She paused and wrung her hands. "Is it a problem that I haven't had bad symptoms yet?"
"You are having symptoms" Neil pointed out. "Just because you had one miscarriage doesn't mean you will have another one. As you said, it is fairly common. I wouldn't worry about it"
"But it could mean that I'm not producing enough hormone-"
"Adelaide" Neil's look was patient. "I wouldn't worry about it" he repeated.
"Okay" she relaxed.
"But I do want you to rest now especially given your past history" Neil told her. "And if you have any bleeding, you need to let me know"
"But-" Adelaide stopped at the look he was giving her.
"You can tell Alice and she can tell me if that makes you feel more comfortable" Neil offered.
"Well, that seems silly" Adelaide admitted.
"Yes" Neil agreed. "But women can be awfully silly at times-"
"Neil MacNeill" Adelaide chided. "That's a horrible generalization"
"Then prove me wrong" Neil told her, seriously. He continued to study her. "Still nauseous?" he asked.
"A bit better"
"Do you think you can come downstairs and try to eat something?"
She crinkled up her nose. "I know that helps, but the thought of food-"
"Try" Neil suggested.
"Alright, I will" Adelaide frowned. Neil helped her up off the bed. "Do you need me to do anything for Zady while I'm up?" she asked lightly.
Neil stopped in his tracks and turned back towards her, staring at her.
"She's here, so it's not like I will be going out visiting her" Adelaide pointed out. "I didn't quite think that counted as not resting"
"Addie" Neil warned, his voice low and Addie shook her head. "Don't get your temper up. I got it. Rest"
"Would thou like to talk about it?" Miss Alice settled next to Adelaide on the porch after dinner. "thou is clearly troubled"
"Did Neil tell you?" Adelaide sighed.
"No, but I suspected this morning" Alice admitted. "Thou has a stronger stomach than what was witnessed"
Adelaide's hand absently moved to rest on her still flat belly. "to do this without Simon, seems inconceivable to me"
"Thou is stronger than thou gives thyself credit for" Miss Alice told her. "Perhaps, it is time that I told thee my story"
"Your story?" Adelaide asked, curiously. "Of how you ended up in Cutter Gap? I always wondered"
"Yes, but I should warn thee, parts aren't very pleasant"
"I would like to hear it still, if you want to tell me it" Adelaide said, softly.
Alice began her story, telling Adelaide of how she became pregnant from the traveling minister, of how she raised the child without a husband, of how she moved here to be closer to her daughter, when she moved with her husband, who she met in Philadelphia.
"Her husband was from the cove?" Adelaide asked, curiously. "Who was he?"
"Thou has never made the connection?" Alice asked her, surprised. "Christy never told thee?"
"No. Christy would never betray a confidence, you know that" Adelaide shook her head. "Where is your daughter now?"
"She died in childbirth almost ten years ago" Alice said, "she was Dr. MacNeill's wife"
Adelaide's eyes widened. "Really?"
"Did Neil not tell thee that he lost a wife?" Alice asked.
"Oh, yes, he did. He told me about Margaret" Adelaide replied quickly. "I just was unaware of the connection between you and her. He never even hinted there was a connection. I know he loved Margaret very much."
"Yes, I believe he did" Alice patted her knee. "But it wasn't a happy marriage- not like thy marriage to Simon. They struggled a great deal to understand one another and to mold their worlds together. They were from such different places and Margaret was always so stubborn and spoiled. But that is not the reason I am telling this story. If God can give me the strength to raise a child on my own, he can give thee the strength too. And thy way is socially accepted, mine was not"
"Do you think I should go home, Miss Alice?" Adelaide asked. "I'm sure this changes your offer for me to stay at the mission"
Miss Alice grasped her shoulder. "Thy parents will want thee to. And perhaps that is expected course, but I will leave the decision up to thee. The Lord will tell thee what to do. Thou will always be welcome here. The Lord has put thee on my heart, Adelaide, ever since thou walked through the door, long before Simon's death"
"I thought you were just kind to me because of my sister" Adelaide admitted.
"I love thy sister very much as well" Miss Alice told her. "But I hope by now thou would know that my care of thee is separate than thy sister. I know He has a special plan for thee both"
"Thank you, Miss Alice" she leaned in to give the older woman a hug. "For everything"
Adelaide's parents wrote and told her they wanted her home, but they wouldn't object to her staying through Christy's wedding to David. She wrote them back and told them that a decision hasn't been made, but when it was, it would be her decision not theirs. In the meantime, life continued. After she found out she was pregnant, her morning sickness worsened to the point where she couldn't hardly keep anything down, which made her weak and forced her to bed, much to her chagrin. Opal made her tea from herbs that helped some. Neil made it a point to check in at the mission fairly often during this time, concerned that the time spent alone would lead to depression.
"I'm tired of this" Adelaide complained to Neil who brought her some reading to occupy her time. "I want to be back to myself"
"You said you wanted symptoms, Adelaide" Neil told her, as he handed her some water. "You need to be drinking more even if it makes you sick. You are close to being completely dehydrated"
"I will throw something at you, Neil MacNeill" Adelaide retorted as she took sip of water, then put the glass back down. "And I won't feel bad about it one bit"
Neil laughed. "Hang in there, lass. It will get better soon"
He handed her back the glass. "More"
"I'll just get sick" Adelaide groaned, "I don't care anymore"
"Dehydration is serious, Adelaide. Then you become my problem. Drink more water" He prompted and at her pathetic look, he added, "I'll sit with you here for a while if you drink it"
"And tell me what you have been up to?" she asked. "I want to know who has been sick and what has been going on"
"Aye" Neil nodded. "If you like"
She took a sip and Neil filled her in on what she has been missing and she managed to keep down the water, much to her relief.
When he finished talking, she sighed, "I miss helping out"
"I know you do. It will get better soon" Neil responded. He paused, studying her, "how are you feeling otherwise?"
"Emotionally?" Adelaide asked and Neil nodded.
She thought for a few moments. "Too much time to think" she admitted. "and worry. You do know that doctors in Asheville would probably say this is a result of hysteria due to Simon's passing?"
He shook his head, swiftly. "Your body is just adjusting to the babe. There is nothing wrong with you, Adelaide"
"Well, I didn't think there was" Adelaide retorted lightly. "but it is good to get the confirmation from you all the same"
Neil chuckled. "You'll feel better once you are able to get out of this room again. Try not to dwell on things too much though"
She sighed. "I'll try"
They chatted for a few more minutes before Neil left her and headed downstairs.
"Is Adelaide feeling better?" Miss Alice asked.
"She drank a full glass of water without vomiting- a good sign I think" Neil told her. "But we still need to watch her for signs of dehydration. I know she doesn't want to take anything, but I will force her hand if need be"
Miss Alice nodded. "She seems more discontented. I pray that this passes quickly for her"
"I talked to her about that too" Neil admitted. "Keep your eye on her, but I think once it passes, she will be back to herself. I'll check again tomorrow. Let me know if she gets worse"
"Of course" Miss Alice studied him, thoughtfully. "Thee really doesn't need to come out here as busy as thee is. I am more than capable of taking care of Adelaide"
"Yes, I know" Neil retorted. "But Adelaide is my friend as well and I want to check on her. Is that a problem?"
Alice shook her head. "Of course not. Adelaide needs a friend." She paused before adding, "I told her about Margaret. She never made the connection that Margaret was my daughter and thy wife"
Neil shrugged. "That part of the story wasn't mine to tell"
"Part of me has to confess I'm surprised that thee is so open with Adelaide about Margaret. Thee hardly ever talks about her" She looked pained, "is it because thy sees Margaret in her? The physical resemblance is uncanny"
"It is but that is where it ends" Neil asserted. "Not that I owe you an explanation" he continued with an edge to his tone, "but my concern for Addie is because I see myself in her. If I am able to help her through her grief, then I want to do so. I have been in her position before and she needs to talk to someone who has. I don't want her to end up as cynical as me"
"Thou mistakes my intention" Alice told him. "I think it is a good thing for both thee and Adelaide. That is all I was saying. Adelaide's friendship will serve thee well too. Maybe she will even make thou less cynical"
"Doubtful" Neil replied, dryly. "Let me know if her condition changes"
"I will" Alice nodded. "Goodnight, Neil"
"Goodnight, Alice"