A/N: I have to say, I'm genuinely surprised at the amount of positive reviews this has received, thank you all so much x
When Simon arrived back in the early morning he took off his ski-mask and placed on the table, unzipping his outfit he walked towards the bed to see if Nathan was still asleep but the bed was empty, and looking around, he realised that all of Nathan's clothes were gone.
He saw movement out of the corner of his eye and turned to see Nathan in the kitchen, he looked like he had hastily thrown all of his clothes on, his jeans weren't buttoned properly and his t-shirt was askew and he was trying to hurriedly put his jacket on when he saw Simon walking towards him.
"Nathan, what's wrong?" Asked Simon confusedly.
But Nathan just laughed humourlessly. "I should have known," he began, "all that talk was bullshit, you just shag and leave."
Simon closed his eyes for a moment, he suddenly realised what this must look like to him. "Nathan, please," Simon tried desperately, "I swear, I didn't leave you, I just had somewhere I needed to be..."
Nathan rolled his eyes. "Of course," he said sarcastically. "I mean, you just fucked me to within an inch of my life but of course you had somewhere more important to be."
"Nathan, it's not like that..." But Simon's remarks fell on deaf ears as Nathan finally managed to struggle into his jacket and pushed past him roughly, heading for the door.
Simon reached a hand out and grasped Nathan around the wrist, turning back to Simon, Nathan stared at him in confusion and tried to jerk his hand out of Simon's grip but Simon was too strong.
"Let go of me," Nathan hissed, baring his teeth.
But Simon didn't relent. "No," he said, "all you're doing is trying to find any reason you can to push me away!" He told Nathan heatedly. "It's all because you're scared of your own feelings."
Nathan tried again to pull his arm away but his efforts were useless, he was actually starting to feel kind of scared, but he'd never show Simon his weaknesses, not now.
"I'm not afraid of you!" Nathan snarled. "I could never be!"
"I know you're not afraid of me!" Retorted Simon angrily, "you're afraid that you might actually fall in love with me, it scares you to death and you just want to get out and leave it alone before anything happens and you're in too deep to leave." Simon's voice had evened by now, causing Nathan to stop his struggling. Simon was somewhat captivating when Nathan paid attention to him. "What's happening here-" he continued, "-is that you are the one who is shagging and leaving."
Nathan's hand went limp in Simon's grip and in that second he suddenly looked so young, so innocent. Like every single wall he had ever built up around himself had come crashing down around him.
Simon let go of Nathan's wrist and Nathan's hand fell limply to his side, he paid no attention to it.
Nathan swallowed a couple of times, the distress clear in his eyes. Simon could see that Nathan was this close to bolting again but something was stopping him, holding him back.
"If I'm so messed up then why are you even bothering with me?"
The words hit Simon like a bulldozer, he stared at Nathan for a moment, sometimes he was a total idiot. "Because I love you," Simon told him, "I love you and...I miss you even though you're stood right in front of me. You have no idea how lonely I am without you."
That last bit was barely above a whisper and Nathan could feel the blood in his ears.
"What do you want?" He asked quietly, his throat dry.
"I want you to understand how much I love you," Simon told him earnestly, "and I want you to stop treating those feelings in your stomach as alien and allow yourself to be loved in return."
Nathan didn't move, Simon wasn't even sure if he was still breathing. Slowly, ever so slowly, Simon leant in and kissed Nathan.
Whatever Nathan was feeling at that moment was unclear but his body was responding, he kissed Simon back tentatively.
Simon couldn't help it, now wasn't the time for tentative kisses. He kissed Nathan harder, making him moan into Simon's mouth. Nathan threw his arms around Simon's neck and reciprocated.
Simon curled his hands around Nathan's arse and lifted him, Nathan wrapped his legs around Simon's waist without ever breaking the kiss.
Depositing Nathan onto the edge of the counter, Simon stepped back to wrestle out of his clothes, Nathan looked so fucking hot. His lips were pink and swollen and his hair was ruffled.
After Simon had thrown his clothes unceremoniously to the floor, he tugged Nathan's jeans down his legs and Nathan shed his own jacket and t shirt, once he was completely naked, he wrapped his long legs around Simon's waist and pulled him into him again, their erections brushed and Nathan moaned loudly and bit into Simon's neck, Simon almost came from that alone.
Simon brushed Nathan's cheek slowly. Nathan smiled slightly, nodding at him.
Simon reached across the kitchen counter and opened a draw, the movement made Nathan keen into him.
Simon returned to face him holding a strip of condoms. Nathan arched an eyebrow.
"Do you keep them everywhere?"
Simon shrugged. "Yeah, pretty much. I mean, you always want to have sex anywhere and everywhere."
Nathan blushed a little but hid it well. "Yeah, well, I'm a stallion."
Simon smiled at him for a moment but then they were kissing again, hard. Simon ripped open the condom and reached between them to roll it onto himself.
The condom was pre-lubed but still...
"Are you sure you don't want some more preparation?" Simon asked.
Nathan rolled his eyes. "Will you just shag me already?" He asked.
Simon would have laughed if he weren't so completely turned on, holding Nathan's hips still he thrust forward into the other man.
Nathan squirmed and arched beneath him, so unused to being penetrated this way. If Nathan made any sort of movement it sent sensations coursing through the pair of them.
His fingernails digging into Nathan's flesh, Simon began to move his hips, plunging in and out of Nathan's puckered hole.
Nathan's toes curled as he used his legs to pull Simon in deeper, gasping loudly when he felt that burst of electricity shoot through his entire body.
"Jesus," Nathan moaned out after a minute, slurring, "I'm gonna come..."
Simon took one hand from Nathan's hip and dug it into the man's curly hair, pulling his head back and biting his neck, simultaneously plunging into him harder.
Nathan gave a loud moan of pleasure and Simon felt Nathan's hot come hit his stomach, he continued to fuck Nathan until the pressure around his cock became too much and he came forcefully, shoving Nathan back further onto the counter.
He stilled as he heard Nathan breathing heavily, then, after a moment, he felt Nathan's head come to rest on his shoulder.
Simon put his arms around Nathan's heated skin and just held him, after a few moments, Simon pulled back and looked at Nathan, into his bright eyes.
Nathan's legs finally went lax around Simon's waist.
Simon ran a finger over Nathan's lips and watched as he shivered. "How can this not be real?" He asked in a whisper.
He watched as tears welled up in Nathan's eyes, but they weren't tears of sorrow, just tears of pure emotion.
Using his thumb, he wiped the tears away before they fell too far down Nathan's red cheeks.
Nathan quickly scrubbed the tears away from his own face, shaking his head.
"You're really going to have to let me fuck you sometime." He said quietly, attempting humour.
Simon laughed and brought Nathan's face to his, Nathan kissed him first, capturing his swollen lips in his.
As Nathan gingerly picked up his jacket from the floor several minutes later, he cast his gaze over to Simon who was slipping a dark t shirt over his head, covering those down right gorgeous muscles of his.
When Simon was fully dressed, he caught Nathan staring at him.
"What?" He asked, a small smile playing on his lips.
"So-" began Nathan, trying his best not to sound like an idiot. "Are we like, seeing each other now?"
Simon nodded. "Yes."
Nathan didn't know what to do. Of course he wanted to be with Simon, now that he thought about it, he couldn't remember what he had wanted before. But saying it out loud like that...
In here, in this little underground flat, the rest of the world wasn't real. Saying that they were together now shocked Nathan into remembering that this was all actually happening and wasn't some weird dream.
Perfect dream, though.
"You can't tell them," Simon told him, for maybe the millionth time, "you still have to keep all of this a secret."
Nathan nodded slightly in agreement. "I don't know how I'm going to be able to hang around with the other you all day and not want to rip your clothes off."
Simon walked so close to Nathan that their noses were almost touching, curling a hand around Nathan's waist he all but yanked the man towards him, their lips meeting in a kiss.
"Just remember that I'm waiting for you when you finish your community service." Simon said against Nathan's lips.
Nathan smiled.
…
Nathan walked into the community centre, hands in his pockets. When he got there, everyone was already lazily sat in the hall where his bedroom was.
"Where were you?" Kelly asked, pointing up towards his makeshift bed.
Having the most incredible sex of my life. "Just out." Said Nathan, "mornin'!"
"Yeah, what's your point?" Asked Curtis immediately.
Nathan's brow furrowed in confusion. "What point? I was just saying hello."
"Yeah, but it's never just hello with you, is it?" Curtis quipped. "You've always got something to say."
Nathan shrugged. "Oh well," he patted his pockets down for a moment. "Fresh out."
Kelly stared at him, bewilderment on her face, starting to wonder if what Simon had said was true, maybe Nathan was having a mid life crisis?
"You feeling all right?" She asked.
"Yeah!" Nathan answered indignantly. "Can't a man just be happy for a change?" And with that, he walked off, leaving the rest of the gang staring at each other in confusion.
Mid morning, when their lunch break finally came around, they all shunned out of their community service gear and made their way to one of the benches in front of the community centre.
It was coming onto Autumn and the chill was evident in the air but it was still warm enough to sit outside and enjoy the sights, however much of an estate you can enjoy, anyway.
"D'ya want one?" Kelly asked Nathan, shoving a packed of cheese and onion under his nose.
Nathan dug his hand in the packet and pulled out a handful of crisps, he offered her his own prawn cocktail and she gave them the same treatment.
"Watch out," Curtis laughed, "you don't know where his hands been."
"I could saw the same about you." Nathan sneered, gesturing towards his crotch, Curtis rolled his eyes.
Nathan glanced around and saw Simon sat on the end of the bench, silently eating a perfectly cut sandwich.
"You all right?" Nathan asked, mouth full of crisps.
After realising he was the one Nathan was addressing, Simon looked up. "Sorry?" He said meekly.
Nathan swallowed his crisps. "I was asking if you were all right," Nathan repeated, trying to be nicer to the kid, to make him feel more comfortable.
"Oh, I'm all right." Simon answered, a small smile ghosting over his lips.
Nathan answered with a big smile of his own but was cut off by a large shout next to him, both Nathan and Simon looked around to see Kelly being held by a man, a small knife held up to her throat.
"Shit..." Nathan exclaimed quietly.
"Just let her go!" Alisha shouted, hands out in front of her, they were all used to muggings happening around here, but never one this close.
Seeing the fear in Kelly's eyes, Nathan did the first thing that came to mind. He ran for her, if he knocked the knife away from her throat, obviously the guy would try to stab him, problem solved.
But before he reached her, a streak of black appeared out of nowhere and expertly tackled the mugger away from Kelly, sending her back to the group. Kelly landed in a heap, held up respectively by Nathan and Alisha, but she was too busy staring at the guy in the mask who punched the mugger swiftly in the face and sent him running off in the other direction.
The guy in the mask turned to them all, but Nathan couldn't help but feel like he was looking back at him, he sent a small salute in Nathan's direction before vaulting up the side of a building and out of sight.
Nathan nearly smiled but then he felt Kelly shaking in his arms.
"Hey," he said, "You all right?"
Kelly nodded vaguely until Alisha came forward and took her out of Nathan's arms, Nathan watched for a moment as they all began taking Kelly back to the community centre, feeling surprisingly alone.
…
Nathan broke the lock on the alcohol cabinet in the community centre, again berating himself for not having his own set of keys cut, and poured out a large measure of vodka into a glass.
Walking out into the main hall, Nathan saw Kelly slumped in a wheel chair with everyone else crowded around her.
Nathan handed her the drink. "Here, it'll calm you down."
Kelly gratefully took the glass and downed the vodka in one go before shaking her head. "That fucking guy in the mask." She said quietly.
Nathan's brow furrowed. "What? What did he do?" He asked quizzically.
"You changed your tune," Curtis pointed out, "you were just as pissed off with him as we are the other day."
"Well, you know..." Nathan began, gesturing to Kelly, "he saved Kelly's life, and he's probably saved all of our lives at some point." With that, he turned to Simon, the pair maintained eye contact for a moment until Simon turned away, blushing, probably wondering what the hell Nathan was doing.
Curtis shook his head. "Prick." Obviously Simon wasn't the only one who thought he was taking the piss.
"Hey!" Began Nathan indignantly, "I'm not even taking the piss, I'm being serious!"
"It's a first for you." Alisha pointed out.
"You don't do it a lot." Simon clarified.
Nathan scowled at them. "Yeah, well maybe it's because I'm surrounded by a group of cunts all the time."
And with that, Nathan stalked off out of the community centre, leaving Kelly to stare, bewildered, after him.
…
Nathan stalked around Simon's kitchen, banging various food items onto the table in annoyance before making a sandwich.
Sitting down, he stuffed the sandwich into his mouth and chewed angrily. He always did this, whenever he got angry, he ate. He didn't particularly know why, but all he'd wanted to do after he left the community centre was to come and see Simon but he wasn't here, obviously being a bullshit superhero somewhere else, so Nathan had sat and ate.
He didn't know why he was so pissed off, he was always having confrontations with Curtis, but he was actually trying to be a dick those times, it wasn't fair when he was actually trying to be nice.
He wandered to the fridge in search of beer when he heard the rattle of the lift, Nathan looked around the open planned kitchen to see Simon walking towards him and instantly relaxed.
This wasn't the awkward Simon of the community centre, this was his Simon, the real one, and he was smiling at him.
"Beer's in the cooler." Simon pointed out before walking to the bed and pulling off his ski gear.
Nathan rolled his eyes, only Simon would have a cooler. He fetched himself a drink and followed Simon to the bed.
As Simon pulled on an off-white wide beater Nathan crashed down onto the end of the bed.
"Is Kelly okay?" Simon asked.
"She's fine."
Simon could here the ice in Nathan's voice and frowned slightly. "What's wrong?"
Nathan huffed. "It's ridiculous, no matter what I do, even when I'm trying to be nice, people still treat me like a prick."
Simon slowly sat down next to Nathan, smiling. "Nathan," he began, "I'm not going to lie to you, you can be hard to get along with."
"Yeah, you think I don't know that?" Nathan asked rhetorically, taking another swig of beer.
The pair were silent for a long moment.
"I wonder why I was so nice to you so me and you ended up together." Nathan wondered out loud.
A smile ghosted across Simon's face. "I think it was me, my future self," he clarified, "is what makes you and my past self get together, like a sort of paradox."
"What?" Asked Nathan slowly, concerned. "What do you mean, me and your past self?" He looked at Simon for a long moment. "Does something happen to me, does something happen to you?"
Simon shook his head. "Nothing happens to you," he told him, pulling Nathan into a sideways hug. "And everyone will come around once they get to know you like I do."
After a moment, Nathan pulled back and looked at Simon, a little smirk playing on his lips.
"Soooo..." He began, drawing out the word. "Do you want to shag me, then?"
Simon laughed out loud. "Really? I thought you wanted to do the shagging next time?"
But Nathan didn't answer, there was something in his eyes that was almost desperate, like he needed Simon to make him feel special. He'd tried with the others and got it thrown back in his face and his self-esteem was damaged, though he'd never admit it to anyone, but as close as Simon was to Nathan...he always knew.
However, despite how long Simon had known Nathan, it still managed to surprise him how much his walls came down when it was just the two of them, and just how innocent he was behind the jibes and insults.
Simon leant into Nathan and kissed him softly, before taking Nathan's hand in his own and pulling him down onto the bed.
...
Two days had passed and Nathan and Simon were living in a sort of couples bliss, it was like that sickly first relationship you had where you had never felt this good in your entire life.
"What have you got to do today?" Simon asked from the kitchen, mercifully wearing a shirt otherwise Nathan would have just jumped him again and would have never got to his community service.
Nathan shrugged, shoving the last bite of his toast in his mouth. " 'Ome boring 'Hit."
Simon rolled his eyes. "Do you know how attractive you are when you talk with your mouth full?" He asked sarcastically.
Nathan flashed him a cheeky grin before bouncing around the kitchen counter and planting a kiss on Simon's lips before he left.
As he was walking to the community centre, Nathan shook his head at himself as he realised that he was acting like a love sick teenager who'd never been in a relationship, but in truth, he'd never had a relationship like this before.
One that made him mad and happy all at the same time, but also one that was totally secret but at the same time seemed to be changing the person he actually was.
In the locker room, Nathan shrugged on his community "blowback" jumpsuit, pulling out his phone to check the time. Kelly bumped him on the way in and he smiled at her.
A totally normal start to a totally normal day.
Then Simon walked in, and it wasn't a normal day any more. Every time Nathan saw the present Simon, he always remembered all the time travel, secret crap when all he wanted was an ordinary relationship with his Simon.
He ignored Simon as the group walked out of the community centre, Nathan talking to Kelly, Alisha talking to Curtis and Simon walking all on his own.
The preferred brand of bullshit for today was painting some alley walls white, Nathan begrudgingly shoved his paint brush into the paint tin and sloshed the paint onto the wall without any particular finesse, wishing he could be anywhere else but here.
Not being particularly engrossed in his work, he noticed Kelly staring at him from across the alley way, the pair of them were quite a way away from the rest of the group, that always seemed to happen.
He turned to her but she didn't look away, he hoped she wasn't reading his thoughts.
"You all right?" She asked.
Nathan nodded. "Yeah, why?"
"You just seem happy lately," she answered, turning back to her work. "Like you're in love or something."
Nathan turned back to his own section of the wall, holding the paint brush loosely in his hand.
Simon had said they would fall in love, hadn't he?
Nathan didn't believe for a second that he and Simon were just mindlessly shagging, he definitely had strong feelings for him.
Confused, he turned back to Kelly. "So, hypothetically," he began, "If I had...you know...fallen in love with someone, how would I know?"
Kelly thought about it for a moment. "You just know," she finally decided, "it's like an instinct, like you just want to be around them all the time, it's dead weird."
"Huh." Said Nathan, processing the information. He did just want to be around Simon all the time and he couldn't exactly pinpoint why.
"Maybe I do love him." Shit.
"Him?!" Said Kelly loudly, making Nathan squint.
"Shhh!" He whispered, Kelly looked around for a moment, no one else had noticed.
"Are you gay?" She whispered back.
"No!" Nathan answered indignantly, a little too quickly.
Kelly shot him a deadpan look. "How can you not be gay if you around shagging blokes?"
"I don't go around shagging blokes," Nathan retorted. "It's just the one, all
right!"
Kelly stared at him for a long moment until her face broke out onto a shit-eating grin, Nathan stared at her incredulously as she laughed.
"I fucking knew it!" She exclaimed, "I knew you 'ad someone!"
Nathan scratched the back of his head and blinked a few times. "You're not mad that it's a guy?"
Before he could say anything else, he felt a large sting to his head as Kelly's hand connected with his head.
He grabbed his head defensively and ducked. "Ow! Stop hitting me!"
"Do you really think I would think less of you because you're seeing a guy?" She
began angrily, "I thought we were mates."
"We are mates," Nathan clarified, rubbing his head. "But, you'no, my reputation..."
He saw Kelly's hand shoot out to slap him again but he ducked before the blow connected, he saw that she was smiling at him. "Dickhead," she said, "you're gay, not a fucking Nazi."
Nathan couldn't help smiling, it felt strangely good to have an ally in Kelly, someone he could tell the truth to. Obviously he couldn't tell her the whole truth but he felt like he at least had someone to talk to now.
"So..." Continued Kelly after a while, "what's his name?" She turned to him with a look of surprised excitement. "Oh my God, do I know him?"
Nathan shrugged slightly. "No, you don't know him." He wasn't lying, Kelly really didn't know Simon, but he supposed one day she would.
"What's his name?" She asked again.
"It's really not that important..."
"Come on, just tell me."
"All right," Nathan yielded, "Simon."
Kelly looked like she was contemplating for a moment before she laughed. "Ha, thought you meant our Simon for a moment then."
Nathan laughed too. "Don't worry, I can assure you I'm not shagging Barry."
The pair lapsed into silence for a few seconds, Nathan contented himself with staring at a plastic bag being blown across the floor, Kelly was twiddling her bottle of drink in her hand.
"So, do you love him?" She asked after a while.
Nathan was going to immediately rebuff her, maybe laugh at her joke. But this was Kelly, she knew what love was, and she understood this feelings crap, maybe she could help him understand what the fuck was going on in his head.
"I don't know," said Nathan, exasperated. "I mean, it feels like all the stuff you described but it isn't all..." He waved his arms around, "you know, tweeting birds and trumpets out of a kids film."
"That's 'cause that's all bullshit," said Kelly bluntly, "love hurts like a bitch, and sometimes it can be the biggest pile of wank and make you happy, sad and angry all at the same time. What what matters is if you wanna see their face everyday, even if you want to punch it sometimes."
Nathan laughed, he couldn't help himself. That did kind of sum up how he felt about Simon, sometimes the man just pissed him off with his lovey dovey-ness and his little clocks...but Nathan liked being with him, he liked how he looked forward to seeing him.
"I haven't been this happy with my life in...well, in a fucking long time."
Kelly punched his arm playfully. "You dick." She said.
Nathan turned to her, not quite a smile on his face, but his large eyes looked desperate.
That soft spot inside her heart she would always have for him opened up and she reached out her arm, he leant his head on her shoulder, his curls tickling the side of her neck.
"It's gonna be all right." She promised.
Curtis, Alisha and Simon walked over to the pair of them, Kelly retracted her arm from around Nathan and Nathan sat up a little straighter, attempting to look a little more relaxed than he probably did.
"What are you guys up to?" Asked Curtis.
Kelly smiled sweetly up at him. "It's nothin', mate." She said.
"Well, come on then, I'm bored of this shit." Said Alisha, turning back to the community centre. Curtis followed suit and after a moment of staring at Kelly and Nathan, Simon also followed slowly.
Nathan jumped to his feet and helped Kelly up. "You're not going to tell anyone?" He asked.
Kelly shook her head. "Your secret is safe with me, now, go to Simon, tell him you love him, I'll go and tell that lot that your hamster died or something."
Nathan laughed loudly and Kelly gave him a little wave as she walked to join the rest of the group.
Thinking for only a moment, Nathan dropped the paintbrush he had been holding back into the pot, sending white paint spraying across the concrete floor, before bounding off to Simon's flat.