Chapter 4

So CC, despite the doctor's protests, went back to face the man whom she had come to realize that she loved. It was just too much to bear, seeing him lying there, looking so helpless. This wasn't him. The doctor was wrong- this was not Niles' dream, it was her worst nightmare.

Who was she without Niles anyhow? She'd been part of his life for so long that she couldn't imagine not being part of her daily routine. She'd come to enjoy-no, live for- their daily zingers and exchanges of wit. There wasn't one of them she would trade for all of her precious money. If money couldn't help him right now, what could?

She stared silently at Niles, letting the sounds of his machines comfort her in a way as she tried to gather her thoughts. Who was she without Niles Brightmore? Did she really know?

CC thought about it as she pulled out a compact from her purse. God, she looked terrible. She hadn't even bothered to put on makeup, that was unusual for her. When did she get so…old? It was apparent by the circles under her eyes and by the lines around them that she hadn't slept for what seemed like years. You could tell her age by the rings around her eyes. CC smiled. Niles would be so proud.

When did all of this happen? When did she come to realize that she …cared for him? It couldn't be love. She would know it if she were in love. She would flaunt her money and her body and use her curves to her best advantage, and she hadn't done any of that with Niles. Look how well it worked out for Max. Max. What was she thinking? It was obvious that he was in love, not just with her. It was Fran. It had always been Fran.

Just then it felt like the walls of the hospital room were closing in on her, and she couldn't breathe. She had to get out of there, immediately. When did she begin to sweat? Babcocks did not sweat, they sometimes perspired, but there was no doubt by her clammy face and damp forehead that CC Babcock was sweating. Sharp pains danced across her chest, as if her world were collapsing. She had to get out of there, even if it meant leaving Niles alone.

Running to the front desk, CC yelled at the nurse. "You have to help me. First Niles now me…I'm having a heart attack! Go get the doctor, now!"

"Calm down miss. What are your symptoms?"

"I told you, my symptom is that I'm having a heart attack! What is it about this place, are you here to help or are you here to kill people? Death by heart attack. That's what this place is!"

Smiling knowingly, the nurse went to get the doctor, who escorted CC into another room.

After examining her, CC looked up at him. "Well? How much longer do I have? You don't understand, I have things I need to do, things I need to say! Just tell me the bad news and then do what you have to do. I don't care anymore. I don't care about anything."

Well, that much wasn't true, but she wasn't about to admit it. "CC… let me reassure you that you are not having a heart attack."

"I knew it! I knew I was going to die. And at the age of 29… you people should be proud of yourselves."

"CC..it's not a heart attack. What you have experienced is an anxiety attack. It's not uncommon for people to experience them and mistake them for heart attacks. I can fully assure you that your heart is just fine."

The news was even worse than if he had told her that she was having a heart attack. She'd almost preferred it if she was. "No, doctor, you don't understand. My heart is not fine. I've given it away and I don't think I can ever get it back again. I'll take your stupid pills but what you need to do is make sure that Niles Brightmore will wake up. Can you do that?"

There. She hadn't even realized it but that was the first time she actually admitted out loud to another human being that she loved Niles. Maybe she was getting soft. Damn that Niles. If he had overheard her at the minute he'd never let her live that one down. Then she'd have to kill him herself.

"So, doctor? Can you say that he'll be all right?"

The doctor's look on his face told her what she needed to know. This was bad, really bad.