So yeah, this should have been uploaded sooner, but it's still doing better than my other stories! (Which have also just been updated. Yay! Go me!) I have one more definite chapter planned after this, but if anyone has any ideas for scenarios, just let me know, yeah? Cos at the moment, the next chapter is undoubtedly the last. It's very, very final. (No they don't die. This is supposed to be comedic after all! But yeah, ideas, anyone?

Oh, and a massive thanks to prone2dementia for all her help with this and the last chapter! Thanks!

DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Otherwise I wouldn't be writing fanfiction, would I?

The strangest thing about living with Wolf was all the things that emphatically did NOT happen.

For example. One week in, they definitely did NOT wake up cuddled together. Wolf's arms were certainly not wrapped around Alex and Alex's head wasn't resting anywhere near Wolf's shoulder.

Wolf did NOT remember how Alex took his coffee in the morning, and Alex obviously did NOT cook Wolf's favourite food without thinking about it.

(He did, however, cook for Wolf. This, they both admitted freely. Wolf was perfectly happy to take advantage of the fact that Alex could cook and Alex happened to like living with a roof over his head, instead of a smouldering pile of ash.)

And that time they'd accidentally had sex ("How do you accidentally have sex?!" "Shut up, Tom!") had most definitely NOT been the most mind-blowing orgasm of his life. He liked girls for god sake!

Alex had a feeling that tonight was definitely going to join those past experiences in not happening very, very soon.

In hindsight, they would most likely think that playing truth or dare (and really, how immature?) with a very hyper, but somehow suspiciously sober, Eagle, when drunk themselves was a Bad Idea. In fact, it would probably go down on the list of worst mistakes of human kind, along with creating the nuclear bomb and giving Jedward a record contract.

But having almost a bottle of vodka between them, as well as numerous beers, by the time they'd realised this, Snake and Fox were already up and dancing drunkenly on the table for the first dare.

And by that point it was too late.

Snake sat back down and Fox collapsed beside him.

Eagle span the empty bottle in the middle and Alex stared at it confused. Was that a whisky bottle? When had they gotten that? He really hoped he hadn't had too much: Whiskey + Alex = Bad. It was elementary maths.

Of course, the bottle would land on him.

"Dare," said Alex, resigned.

Fox grinned manically.

"The Bartender and the Thief," he pronounced, proudly.

It took several moments for them all to work out that Alex was supposed to sing said song, but eventually he was on the table, which was apparently acting as a stage.

Someone had handed him a hairbrush (Seriously? A hairbrush? They all had buzz cuts – there was barely any hair to brush) to use as a microphone, but he quickly discarded it in favour of the Air Guitar.

"What on earth is that?" said Wolf, raising an eyebrow.

"Air guitar!" exclaimed Alex, momentarily breaking off from his (horribly out of key) song.

"Doesn't look like any guitar I've seen," said Wolf, firmly.

"Yeah, it does!" protested Alex. "See? Here's the stret board-" he waggled his fingers in mid air – "and here are the strings!" he waggled his other hand.

"I think you got them the wrong way up," said Fox, squinting slightly.

Alex pouted. "You're just jealous of my mad air guitar skills."

Wolf snorted.

Alex did get his own back on the would-be critics with no taste. The balcony scene of Romeo and Juliet was hilarious, especially with Wolf using a towel to give the impression of long hair he, obviously, didn't have.

Fox was, if possible, even worse, though he had the excuse of being unable to look at his 'lady-love' without bursting into hysterical laughter.

Three songs, two impressions and one walking down the stairwell on hands alone later, both Alex and Wolf froze.

The bottle had landed right between them. They looked at each other then warily at Eagle.

Unanimously, they both decided that there was no way in hell they were that drunk.

"Truth," they said together.

Eagle smiled beatifically.

"Who is the girl of the relationship?" he asked, innocently.

Both Wolf and Alex stared at him for a moment, before Wolf responded flatly. "Alex."

"I am not!" protested Alex.

"You do the cooking," Wolf pointed out.

"Yeah, because I happen to like my insides where they are, thanks! That doesn't make me the girl!"

"That's not what I meant," interrupted Eagle, grinning.

Alex and Wolf looked at him blankly. Neither had any idea what he was talking about.

"During sex," explained Eagle, only to be met with even more confused stares.

He sighed.

"Who bottoms?"

Oh yeah, this evening most definitely did not happen.

So yeah, review! And don't forget any ideas/requests you have for situations!