Author's Note: OK, I REALLY don't care whether or not this is right, but these are the ages and birthdays of a few of the characters in MY story. OK? On the show, it can be different. In your stories, it can be different. But in THIS PARTICULAR story, these are the birthdays.

Cartman: June 26 turns 16 at the end

Kenny: August 12 15 for whole story

Kyle: October 7 turns 15 during story

Stan: October 19 (Same as Trey Parker's) turns 15 during story

Disclaimer: Do YOU think I own South Park? If you said "yes", you are dead WRONG! Dumbass.

Chapter 3: Friday Night

"Stan? Honey, what's wrong?"

Stan and Sarah, or "S2" as Sarah called them, were seated on the couch in the Marsh residence, watching a sappy movie. Sarah was resting her head in Stan's lap, lapping up every sappy, corny line the heroine gushed, or pseudo-manly line the hero uttered, and Stan was stroking Sarah's hair absent-mindedly, hardly paying attention to the piece of crap polluting his TV. It was a peaceful Friday night, and Stan's mind was far from the situation at hand. Rather, it was with the hefty pile of homework assigned to him during the first week of school. Sarah had taken notice of her boyfriend's inattentiveness.

"Nothing's wrong." Something was wrong. Very, very wrong.

Stan wasn't about to tell Sarah the truth, mostly because if she knew something was wrong, she would go off being all concerned about him. Stan liked that she cared, but he wasn't in the mood to deal with it.

The other reason was the chance it could jeopardize their relationship. Stan liked Sarah, but he was fairly certain she wouldn't like what was on his mind.

"That is so sweet!" Sarah cooed at the screen. "Oh, Stan, that was a fantastic movie! I loved when Virginia told Cody that she had a son, and he told her that he would be the father he never had. OH! And the part at the end where Lila confronted James and told him that she loved him so much it hurt, but if being with Sally made him happy, then she would be happy too, and she wanted him to be happy, but he said that he didn't want Sally, and just swooped up Lila and kissed her!"

Stan smiled at Sarah as she ran the whole movie into one sentence. She was so sweet, she made all the unholy thoughts infesting his brain escape his head in one swift WHOOSH. He forgot why he was even spaced out and uncomfortable in the first place. He scooped up his girlfriend, like in the movie, and planted a kiss right on her lips. He was sort of paying attention.

"I had a great time tonight, honey, but I gotta go now," Sarah announced when they broke apart. "But I'll call you as soon as I get home, OK?"

"OK. Bye Sarah!"

"Bye Stanny!"

Stan sighed as he watched Sarah leave. "What did I ever see in anyone else but her?"

Which was exactly the same thing he asked himself a shortly before destroying all his other relationships.

Eric Cartman was about to kill Butters. He had considered it many times before, and he was starting to wonder how the little pussy hadn't gotten himself killed yet.

"Butters, I swear to God, you touch that, and I will pull your nuts off with my bear hands and put them up on my shelf as a trophy!"

How the hell did he get stuck with Butters anyway?

Well, that one was easy. After Kyle finally lost it and kicked Cartman out of the group, he naturally went to Butters to find with him what he had with Kyle. Unsurprisingly, it didn't work, and he couldn't shake the little blonde. So he was stuck dealing with the little pussy, and incapable of finding new friends because of him.

No, how he got stuck with Butters was an easy question. The challenge question was why hadn't Butters been killed yet. It was something Cartman wondered everyday.

"Well, gee Eric, what's the point of having me over to your house if I can't do anything?" Butters asked naively.

Cartman rolled his eyes. "Butters, I'm not having you over, you followed me home."

Butters smiled sheepishly. "Well, c-can we do something?"

"Fine.".

Even though Cartman couldn't manage to get any other friends with Butters around, he did manage a few girlfriends. Yes, even Cartman had relationships.

One recurring relationship was him and Heidi. It was one of those annoying high school on-again-off-again relationships. They were sort of meant to be, in a mixed up way, but they could never stay together. It was ultimately cliché, but Cartman wouldn't have it any other way.

Most of his other relationships had been one or two dates, and then getting back together with Heidi. There were a couple of longer lasting girlfriends, but those were few.

"W-well what are we gonna do Eric?" Butters asked.

"I'm gonna play Xbox, and you're gonna watch," Cartman asserted. "OK? Sound good to you? Is that doing something? I thought so."

Butters looked at his friend for a moment. "OK!" he agreed cheerily. "I'll cheer you on. Go Eric!"

"I'm going to kill you Butters," Cartman muttered under his breath. Butters was one of the few people who called him Eric. Mostly adults called him by his first name, and the only peers he knew who used it were Butters and sometimes Heidi.

"What was that Eric?"

"I said thank you for your support, Butters."

"O-oh."

"Dumbass," he grumbled.

"Dude, when did you get good at Guitar Hero?"

"Pete has it and whenever we get together, that's all we do. Nobody else will play with him, so I learned by doing."

Kenny and Kyle were at the Broflovski residence. During the week, they talked a little more during chem., and agreed to get together on Friday, for old time's sake.

Kyle got the Guitar Hero game after the whole incident in fourth grade. Stan gave up the game completely and gave it to Kyle. He hadn't really touched it since then either, but they dug it up for something to do. Kyle was still pretty good at it, but he had no idea how good Kenny was. It was a surprise, and just went to show how much had changed in the years that had passed.

"You know," Kyle explained, "this doesn't mean we're friends again. Things aren't just going to magically fall back in place."

Kenny surveyed Kyle. He was hoping otherwise, but he supposed the redhead was right. "I know."

"Maybe we can be friends again, just the two of us, eventually. But that will be hard. You know, other friends and all."

Kenny nodded, but changed the subject swiftly. "Bet you can't beat me in a guitar battle."

"Oh yeah?" Kyle taunted. "I'm gonna kick your ass!"

"You're on!"

Kyle did beat Kenny at the guitar battle, but it was close. "Dude, how the hell did you get through that one part? I thought I totally had you beat there!" Kenny exclaimed. He was impressed. Even when he was rusty, Kyle was pretty damn good at this.

"Well, I'm great, what can I say? I am GOD!" Kyle declared dramatically.

Kenny laughed. "Nice ego. As the hair deflates, the ego inflates. Fantastic. If you're gonna be an ass, get the Jew-fro back. I think I liked the fro Kyle without the ego a little better."

Kyle laughed back. "Maybe. That thing was damn SEXY! I would be a total hit with the chicks if I got that thing back. Shit, Katie would have a heart attack."

Kenny remembered Katie. He actually dated her after the breakup with Kyle. She knew Kenny was a good rebound guy, and she also knew the two had been friends. She had been convinced she loved Kyle, and after all she did for him, he had no right to break up with her. Kenny always thought she was hot, but she was a little clingy. It wasn't long before Katie broke up with Kenny, and became friends with Kyle. The two became pretty tight.

"I can't believe you still hang out with her," Kenny commented. "She dating anyone?"

Kyle frowned. "No. And she refuses to. But as soon as I start dating, she practically pays people to go out with her. Soon as I'm done with someone, so is she, and she asks for her money back."

Kenny laughed. "But of course."

Kyle said nothing for a moment. With a completely straight face he said "If I win this next song, you have to get out, you poor piece of shit. Back to whatever shithole you call home."

Kenny raised an eyebrow. "OK, and if I win, we're best friends again. And I don't quite live in a shithole; it's more of a hovel."

Kyle nodded solemnly. "Winning back friendship, you are a tricky one McCormick. You're on. But if I win, you have to worship at my feet. I am God." It was all an act, but it was fun.

"OK, and if I win, we have to set aside at least two days a week for just us, best friend," Kenny countered.

"Hmm, you're getting a little more in that deal. If I win, you also have to come back every Friday and worship at my feet, regardless of who's over."

Kenny considered it. "You have yourself a deal." And they shook.

It was slightly ironic. This was the game that had torn apart Stan and Kyle's friendship, albeit briefly. It was also the thing to rekindle Kenny and Kyle's friendship. How brief would this be?"

It was girl's night at Wendy's house. Wendy and Bebe had other girlfriends, but they decided to keep it exclusive. Tonight, they were discussing very personal, complex and sensitive issues: Stan and Kyle.

"Bebe shut the fuck up about Kyle for one second!" Wendy sighed. "I honestly don't see why you don't just do something about it! Take a chance already. You talked to him a bit on the first day, but you have three classes with him, as you've reminded me frequently, so why don't you talk to him in one of those classes? You sit next to him."

"Yeah, but he has a girlfriend," Bebe reasoned. "You know that girl Katie? Total skank, but she is pretty hot. Ugh, I don't see what he sees in her."

Wendy sighed. "Bebe. He is not, repeat, NOT going out with Katie. They're just friends."

Bebe raised an eyebrow. "It's always 'just friends', but they never mean it. At least one party wants to get together with the other one. Oh, I bet it's that bitch. Katie is such a hussy."

"Bebe, shut up. I think... well, Stan, I-"

"Oh, Wendy," Bebe sympathized.

"Yeah, I have no idea what to do, or if I even actually still like him. They might just be ghost emotions or something," Wendy whined, distraught. "I donno, it's just so complicated. I am a woman of logic, so I shouldn't be feeling this. It isn't fair."

Bebe smiled gently. "Look, Wendy, I'm lucky. I know I want Kyle. But it isn't always that simple. Sometimes desires and feelings get mixed up and you never really know what you want."

"Thanks Bebe-"

"And even if you know what you want, you can't always get to it," Bebe rambled.

Wendy rolled her eyes. She loved her friend, but she could be so unreasonable sometimes. It wasn't like she didn't try, but even when she did, Bebe always wound up focusing on herself and her own problems. Wendy knew that the only way she could get Bebe to help would be to help her get what she wanted. But even then, Bebe would be so caught up in her relationship, Wendy's problem would come across as whining. Wendy used what she got though. Sometimes Bebe would inadvertently spout random bouts of intense wisdom. Other times it would just be nonsense.

"He's right there, just out of your reach. He doesn't have a girlfriend, but he has a friend-girl who obviously wants him. He's all you ever wanted, and he's so close... But some bitch is in your way!" Bebe continued.

"Um, Bebe?"

"It drives you mad until finally you're left with no choice..."

"Bebe?"

"You find that the only option is... to kill Katie!" Bebe laughed maniacally. "Yes! That's the perfect plan. It gets rid of her, I'll never have to worry about her again!" Bebe got a little out of control when it came to Kyle. She was a little obsessed. She had convinced herself so long ago that she was over him, but she never was. Now it was all rushing out at once.

"Er, let's do something," Wendy suggested quickly. "We can watch a movie or something."

"OK, sounds good!" Bebe agreed, instantly forgetting about her plans for murder.

Wendy made a mental note to keep the exclusive girl nights to a minimum. Bebe was a lot to take in at once.