Disclaimer: I own Roswell...I also own flying pigs...isn't my unicorn pretty?!

Author: D.A.

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: M&M

Summary: Spoilers, everything up to the Dupes episode has happened without Maria. Amy left New York City for Roswell and left Maria with her Dad. Things happen and Maria goes to Roswell, more havoc ensues.

Author's note: Please forgive my long extended hiatus from the land of Roswell fanfic. I hope that the tone of this fic hasn't changed too much, RL can be a bitch. This is for Emz who reviewed and kicked me into action. Thank you for reviving me. I hope this lives up to your expectations. Also this one and the next chapter coming later this week is a flashback.

Also sorry this took longer than anticipated. Please review and tell me your thoughts! Also I don't own the remix of clubbed to death if you don't already know it plays in the woman in the red dress scene in the Matrix full credit to Rob

Warning: this chapter has some descriptive naughty business and the usual beep loads of swearing, drug and physical abuse, rape and loads of angst.

As I came to, I gasped for breath. My head was raised and something, a gas mask, was placed over my nose and mouth. My breathing eased as I opened my eyes fully and saw them crowded into the back of the room, looking nervous as hell. Nothing has changed they were always uncomfortable in institutions.

People say that you can tell alot by the appearance of a person. I should have known better. I found Ava and Zan first; I was drunk that night, stumbling around in Central Park.

I was sitting down in a clearing off the main path, nursing a bottle of Absolut. I heard laughter and rustling noises as someone, well, two someone's pushed their way into my clearing. At that point, I was ready to tell them to piss off. I was after all wallowing in alcohol induced self pity.

Then I saw them.

They were carrying bags of something which they tossed carelessly to the side. They were kissing, or rather inhaling each other. They could have been random fuck buddies from opposing businesses, she had on a suit that I swear was in the window display of Prada. I felt a flash of jealousy, she didn't look that much older than me.

Zan. I would have done anything to be Ava that night. Zan was beyond smoking hot, he was on fire. Of course it could have been my drunken state or the fact that I watched what he did to her.

It's that strange thing that happens when you see a car crash or an explosion or someone kissing in the street. That whole I should not look but I really want to I'll just sneak a quick peek thing. I knew I should have walked away but instead I watched as hands trailed up and down. I watched as mouths and tongues followed hands.

I was shocked at how familiar they were with each other, how willing Ava was to spread her legs for him. I felt my heart quicken at the look of wonder on his face.

I wondered how it felt when Zan slowly pushed into her. I had to look away, they were so still, staring at each other, then moving slowly to kiss. There was none of the franticness that had sucked me into watching. Instead there was a beauty to their movements. I could feel myself getting wet and my hand hovered over my crotch.

I should have walked away but instead I stayed and watched as his hand cupped her face and he said to her,

"Time to change back Ava, you look unnatural in those threads". Her long brown curls were sucked back into her skull. Her hair straightened and slowly changed to a blond almost white colour. She had several piercings reappear and on her body he traced a strange symbol near her...well...you know...it.

I sobered almost instantly, and I must have gasped. Ava looked curiously around and she would have said something had Zan not lowered his mouth to her.

I remained frozen for awhile, oblivious, my peeping tom moment forgotten. I stared at my citrus flavoured vodka and promptly poured it out onto the soil, for all I cared the ants could get pissed.

Ava's groans broke my mood and I involuntarily looked up. She was perched on top of him grinding down, her eyes were closed and her mouth was slightly open. As I turned away a flash of white light blinded me. I blinked rapidly several time through the black spots I saw the girl; Ava trailing her hands over Zan leaving rainbow swirls where her hands touched him.

I closed my eyes; my heart was racing, pounding so hard I had to press my ice cold hands against my chest to keep my heart in. I almost couldn't breathe. I took a swig from my bottle of Absolut absentmindedly forgetting that I had emptied it.

I suddenly realised that I needed to get away. I quietly backed out of the clearing and moved slowly through the trees.

As I walked back through the streets, I started to doubt what I saw. After all, what person could do that? I stopped short, realising that the key word was what person could do whatever it was that I didn't see.

A man jolted into me. I tried not to stare as I apologised and moved away from the center of the street. Punk... no, not like stupid street kid setting fire to my letterbox, but full on spiked hair, leather, don't mess with me attitude. Then, I did a double take as I recognised the tattoo. Shit. I blanched and walked faster.

As I rounded a corner another person with short blonde hair and a lip ring ran straight into me and dropped her briefcase.

'Fuck, sorry I'm so clumsy' She had grabbed me by the arm as I stumbled.

'No, it's alright. My fault.' I bent over to pick up her briefcase getting there seconds before her and hefted it up, the weight surprising me. She all but snatched it out of my hand and apologising again rushed off.

I idly scratched my arm as I briskly walked off. Two hours and five switches later I walked to my front door I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being followed, hence, the paranoid random bus switching. I scratched my stomach as I reached into my bag. I was too tired to care about what I couldn't see.

I moved quietly through the apartment, a dim light glowed from the crack of Jack's bedroom. I trudged into my own room scratching the back of my neck as I shut the door. I peeled off my jacket and threw it on the floor. Goosebumps rose on my skin even though it was not cold. I rubbed my arms and scratched as an itch developed on both my arms. I sat down to scratch the sole of my left foot. What was wrong with me? I examined my skin only seeing the redness from my scratching. Feeling flushed I walked to the window, pulled the blinds up and opened the window through the bars.

I couldn't shake the feeling that something was watching me and I strode to my stereo putting on the Matrix album I skipped ahead to my favourite song 'Clubbed to Death' mildly distracted I let my body sway in time to the music, losing myself to the rhythms and punctuations of the song languidly scratching my lower back. I opened my eyes as the last piano solo came on and grabbed my pyjamas. I slipped into the bathroom feeling calmer. I got ready for bed quickly, taking comfort in my routine.

I went back to my room after getting a glass of water. I sat on my bed to brush my hair taking the opportunity to scratch my head.

'I think she needs a cure for her itch Rath'. A hand covered my mouth.

My heart pounded so hard I thought it would jump out. I jerked my arm up to break the hold but a green glow locked my arms in place.

A million thoughts rushed through my head, but the only one I could distinguish: I was going to die before prom. Shit.