In the vast expanse of his career, Walter Dornez could remember few nights when he could stop and enjoy a spot of fine weather on the job. It was sometime after Midnight, and a week and a half of rain had given way to reveal a waxing moon hanging bright in the star-strewn night sky. Walter had spent most of the evening hunting Ghouls. The infestation was discovered in this rural wooded area of the Midlands of England when a local hit one of the shuffling, mindless undead with his truck.
It was the usual Search and Destroy mission; though Walter hated to admit it. He and Arthur as well as the few others who lent their services at the time spent a great deal of effort t killing more ghouls than they did hunting vampires. The simple answer for this phenomenon is that smart vampires don't leave ghouls behind; especially not where they could be found easily. Stupid vampires; on the other hand, treated their victims in a similar manner to that of human murderers. They'd dump the bodies where they think no one will find them. Forests, sewers, cellars, and the like.
Unfortunately for vampires, their victims have the nasty habit of rising from the dead to terrify the living.
Today it was forest, and the vampire was nowhere to be found. There were five villages nearby that Walter and Arthur would have to investigate later. Light breezes made the chain on Walter's monocle brush his face. He cautiously gazed around, suddenly aware of a light tread through the wet undergrowth carried on the breeze. Perhaps the vampire was here after all?
In one motion, The Angel of Death spun on his heel and cast both his arms from his body like a fisherman casts a line into water. The thin monofilament wire that was his deadly weapon wound itself around a figure that was barely visible though the trees.
Walter tightened his grip, ready to make the kill until he realized it was friend; not foe, he had entangled. "Alucard!" It was a hushed exclamation. Walter didn't have to see the full flash of teeth that was the vampire's grin in the dark.
"I almost caught you this time." The vampire strode into the patch of moonlight Walter was basking in. "This is no time for games! I almost cut you to pieces!" Walter crossed his arms over his chest, irritated with Alucard's game.
"Oh? So says the man who's been wandering between moonbeams for a quarter of an hour because his chores for the day are all finished." Alucard matched his human companion's pose, moving to stand nose to nose with the younger man.
"Well, it is a lovely night, don't you think?" Walter turned his head to gaze up at the moon, hanging lazily in the warm night air.
"Nights like this make me hungry." The vampire stated rather matter-of-factly. Walter turned his head to give a scathing remark only to be rebuffed with a kiss.
"Jesus bloody…!" He exclaimed, thumping the vampire in the chest with his fist. "Now is not the time for this!"
The vampire wore a mysterious smile as he put his hands on the other mans hips. "The nearest person is more than a quarter mile away. Won't you have mercy on me? It'll be two and a half hours before you can arrive home. And you know Arthur doesn't allow me to feed myself."
Alucard slowly sunk to his knees, still holding Walter's hips. "You can't bite me." Walter said flatly. The vampire grinned, undoing his companion's belt. "Oh, I hadn't planned on it."
Sir Arthur Helling stood flustered, and finally alone on a lonely country road. He'd been out on this lonely stretch of quiet country highway since early in the evening, convincing the country constables that whatever was going on here in their rural district was being taken care of by a higher-ranking law enforcing body.
He dug his watch and lighter out of his pocket as he made his way back to his vehicle. Sir Hellsing cursed at the absurd hour at which he now found himself out in this heavy wood broken only by the moonlit road. With a sigh, Arthur pulled out a small cigar and lit it in one smooth motion. There was nothing left to do now save wait for his servants to return.
Arthur puffed gratefully on the end of his cigar, enjoying the few moments of calm until he realized something was crashing through the underbrush in his direction. He eased one of his many revolvers from its holster, "Ally or enemy?" He called into the dark wood.
"Oh, it's only me." Walter strode into the moonlight on the other side of the road, puffing on a cigarette.
"Thank God! I was beginning to think you been eaten alive!" Arthur chuckled. Walter went to take a drag on his cigarette and choked, coughing, sputtering and laughing.
Sir Hellsing laughed. "Well, it is late! That was a terrible joke you laughed at." He clapped his servant on the back. Walter was busy looking sheepish and fumbling for the car keys, still coughing weakly.
They both climbed into the car heavily. Both men were eager to be home. "Ah, it'll be nice to get to bed when we're home!" Arthur exclaimed, glad the night's work was finally done.
Walter couldn't agree with Arthur more.