Title: Optional Illusion
Author: Pigeon Eve
Rating: M for later chapters.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, situations or anything associated with "Jericho". Actually, I pretty much don't own anything.
Claustrophobic.
He was asleep almost at the very moment his head hit the pillow. His sleep was peaceful for the whole night and only at the breaking of the dawn his dreams took a darker note. He tossed in the hospital bed with his eyes closed, at the mercy of his sinister memories.
Tangled up in his sheets, he jumped in a sitting position. He looked around the hospital room while trying to calm his breathing and wake up fully. On a small couch by the wall opposite to the door was his mother. Gail was soundly asleep. On the arm of the couch was a parcel with a fresh set of clothes for him.
Jake drew his hand through his hair and smiled. It was sweet from her to stay. 'And absolutely unnecessary, she should have stayed at home and had a decent sleep,' he thought and moved to get out of the bed. He didn't know what really happened yesterday aside from the obvious, he didn't know what would happen, but he did know he had to get moving. There surely were a lot of things that needed to get done and he couldn't just stand by.
&
Gail slowly opened her eyes coming to awareness, despite the uncomfortable sleeping arrangements she felt rested. She hadn't noticed when she fell asleep. Gail remembered going home to take some of Eric's clothes for Jake, she remembered coming back and she remembered watching her child sleeping. She smiled lightly; it felt good to have the whole family in one town again.
It was only moments later when she realized that she was alone here. Jake and the clothes were gone, it wasn't hard to put two and two together, kid had always hated hospitals. 'Now, the question is – where the hell is he?'
The meantime Jake was hopping up a fireman stairs on the building beside the medical center. Few minutes ago he had been drinking bad coffee with April in her office; one could say that they were catching up, if catching up counts as April talking and Jake listening. He had never taken a chance to get to know his sister-in-law particularly well, but this morning they had bumped into each other and he had had no reason to deny her offer for a coffee.
Beside from being a great source of information, Jake found that his sister-in-law was quite ingenious as well as firm. He almost felt sorry for not taking time to get to know her earlier; he guessed she could make a great friend. Jake thought he could see a bit of his mother in April, they were of one kind. He smiled; he could imagine that April ruled over Eric just the same way his mother did over his Dad.
He finally was on the roof of the building. He took a small step forward and a look at the horizon. He gripped the railing, all smile vanishing from his face. "Oh my God," he drawled. For a moment he just stared at the oncoming storm, not fully grasping the fact. The next he was back on the stairs and on his way down, there was trouble coming and one hell of a lot of work to do.
Gail went to get Johnston on the radio, which she knew could be found at the reception. She figured that Jake could have gone to the Town Hall and even if her son wasn't there she had to remind her husband not to overdo it. She was fully aware that Johnston most likely had been working since the dawn. She took a shuddering breath as she called for the answer at the other end of the radio, she couldn't help but feel a bit hurt and worried about Jake's disappearance.
&
Claire waited until the dust settled and went to her car. She opened the door and slid into the front seat with a habitual manner. She froze. Only now she realized that she didn't have the key of the car, that the doors had been unlocked and that the key in question was still in the ignition.
Last night had been a thriller from a Hollywood movie and she hadn't even really thought about anything then. She had just gone with the flow. Now she could only curse. She hastily took a pack of cigarettes and a matchbox from the glove box. She got out of the car, lighted the cigarette and took a long smoke.
She stood still for a moment, just smoking and then she kicked the dirt and screamed. Claire was angry for ever entrusting the key to Jake. In that damned car were all her belongings and while she wasn't prone to getting attached to things it wasn't like she could just reach over the Atlantic ocean and pick something from home, was it? She dropped the cigarette and took a new one. Her breathing was heavy and irregular, she marched few steps up and down. She didn't say a word, but she did think of a lot of them.
She was angry at the whole situation. It just wasn't supposed to happen. She was supposed to have simple weekend in a simple town and lots of simple rest. She wasn't supposed to get into a car accident. A city wasn't supposed to blow up. A city she had just gotten out of just wasn't supposed to blow up. Nothing of it should have happened; she didn't want to deal with it. She… Claire dropped another fag-end into the dirt and then dropped herself into the car seat.
Cities weren't supposed to blow up, but they apparently did. She wasn't supposed to entrust all she had at the moment to strange guys, but she apparently had. Everything had come and gone. She was still alive, she was well, she even had all of her stuff and Claire figured she could deal to whatever was yet to come.
She took a deep breath and then another cigarette. She never really considered herself to be addicted to them, however if anybody asked she told she was. It was kind of amusing, besides it was half-truth, when she started - she couldn't stop. It was pretty simple. 'Life is simple,' she thought a moment later.
She was calm. She had needed to vent out, because sometimes processing everything calmly just wasn't enough, sometimes she just had to let it go for a few insane moments. Claire definitely felt better now. She could say she even felt cheerful.
It was only few minutes over nine o'clock in the morning and she smoked a few more cigarettes while she took a critical look at the front of her car and tried to enjoy the morning while sitting on the bonnet of her sedan. It didn't really work out the way she expected it – she kept slipping off, and after sixth time she decided that in those music videos people must glue themselves to the car and that the morning was becoming too warm for her wishes for her to continue this act of masochism. She simply sat in the back seat.
It was about half-hour more before she finally was ready to set back to town. In that half-hour she had almost emptied the pack of cigarettes, changed her clothing to something flimsier and started chewing out all her refreshing chewing-gums. Smoking was relaxing, but that in no way meant that she enjoyed having stinking breath.
It was quarter to ten when she was really ready to hit the road.
&
After Jake left April continued to slowly sip the rest of her coffee. She had no idea where her brother-in-law had taken off, he had just said that he had to check on something and then left. She enjoyed her coffee and spent the last few minutes before her shift started musing over the mystery that was her husbands' brother.
She put the empty cup on the table and went to visit Doctor Peterson; she needed for him to pass down the information of this night, so she would know what to expect today. April went straight to her colleague's office, it was a routine for the doctors of Jericho – exchange information at the end of the shift with the next one on it and drink a cup of coffee. 'Second one today, I'm going to be hyper,' she thought.
"Come in, come in," Peterson called when he heard knocking. He was already waiting for her – two cups of steaming coffee on his table.
"Good morning, Robert," she greeted with a slight customary smile on her face. "Was there any additional trouble tonight?"
"Morning, April. Please, sit," he paused. "No, everything was fine,"
"Thanks," she sat and took the cup of coffee, she knew she shouldn't drink so much of it, but it smelled so nice. 'Mhmmm,' she thought and took a sip. It was impossible to resist.
Robert shifted through the papers on his desk until he found what he was looking for – a squared note-book. "Now, let's see," he mumbled. "Annie Wood's recovery is going fine, the Martinson babe is feeling fine, the mother is getting better as well, now, what else… Everywhere else nothing much has changed. Ah, the schoolteacher that came in yesterday from that bus needs a fix on her leg – the bone's not broken just damaged. And that other woman from the bus, what was her name… Here it is, Claire Couture took her leave early this morning, and she was fairly fine as well. I took the file down to the filing cabinet, so if you have any additional interest it's there," he said putting the note-book down and taking a sip of coffee.
"Okay, I'll see what can I do for the teacher and check on everyone else after," she said after giving it a moment's thought.
Robert Peterson slowly sipped his coffee and tried to think of a way to politely tell April that he wasn't coming back to job tomorrow evening. That he was sorry for leaving the responsibility for the whole center on her shoulders but that he really had no choice. He had to go to check on his daughter. "April…,"
April tensed a bit; she had a feeling that whatever Robert was going to say wouldn't settle well with her. When she had come in she had thought that the reason for his pale appearance was his 24 hour shift, but now she started to think that there could be another reason. She tried to think of whatever it could be that had unsettled the man.
"I'm really sorry, but I'm not coming back tomorrow. I… I'm going to Kansas City," he said. He didn't turn his gaze away; he continued to stare into her eyes – silently pleading to understand.
"But Robert..," she started but couldn't continue. She could understand him, April knew of his daughter who lived in Kansas City. She had gone in the same school with Nancy. She knew that in his place she would probably do something similar, she couldn't begrudge him.
April put the cup of her unfinished coffee at his table and stood. She knew that it would make things a lot more difficult in the center if he was to leave. She knew that he might not return, yet she couldn't bear ill will towards her colleague. Nor she had any right to forbid him to go. At the door she turned to face him. "Be careful," she said with a pained expression upon her face. She didn't like this one bit.
"I hope you find Nancy and Lauren well and unharmed. I'll…," she paused. "I'll pray for your safe return," she said. April wasn't the most passionate believer, but she did talk to God once in a while. Now it seemed to be the right time to do so.
Robert Peterson smiled albeit a sad smile, "Thank you."
April couldn't force a smile in return, she gave him a small nod and left. She didn't have time to ponder what consequences yesterday's tragedy was yet to bring.
&
"I feel like a badass," Heather said. She thought that her offhanded comment would somehow lighten the mood. Judging by April's facial expression it had not.
Jake barged in before April could spring a list of advices on Heather. "April! Does this clinic have a fallout shelter?"
April was silent for a moment. "Yes," she said inconclusively. "What's going on?" somehow she doubted that she really wanted to know the answer to this question. She wasn't particularly close to her brother-in-law, hell, she barely knew him, and however something about his expression tipped her off.
"It's bad," he retorted. He didn't want to go into details just now. "Come on!"
April nodded and immediately followed him out of the room. "What's going on?" she repeated her question when they were hurrying down the hall.
"There's storm coming," he said. They were standing on the last step of the stairs in the basement. "Where to?"
"Here," she indicated and took on leading the way. "Storm? I don't understand,"
"Radiation moves through the air. The storm's coming from Denver," he said. "It'll rain straight down on us," their gazes met as they reached the door.
"Oh, my God," April breathed and fumbled for keys in her pocket. There were a lot of keys in the bundle, but eventually she found the right one.
"When was the last time someone was in here?" Jake questioned as he kicked and pulled and pushed to get the door to open. "You've got to be kidding me," he muttered when the door opened and he was greeted by stench of the room, which had not seen ventilation for a couple of years.
"I can't put people in here," April said. She could hardly think past that. There was a lot of work to do in this room to get it sterile enough for the patients and she knew that there couldn't be enough time. 'Storm from Denver… It's about two hours away, we don't have enough time. We don't have time,'
"There's no air. There's no air in here," Jake said smelling the air, if the stench could be even remotely associated to air. "I hope the fan works. We have a lot of work to do," he said voicing his own and April's thoughts.
April looked at Jake. "I need to finish my rounds and then I can come here and help with… Something,"
Jake shook his head. "Go finish your rounds and then stay there around. Keep people calm. I'm going to get someone who knows something about fans and engines and then see what I can do about making this place habitable,"
April looked unsure for a moment. She wanted to supervise cleaning of the shelter as she didn't want her patients to catch some kind of disease… "Okay," she agreed a moment later. She had enough work to do upstairs. "I'll make everything ready for moving,"
"I'll let you check everything before bringing people down," Jake said. Small smile graced his face.
"I count on it," she replied then took a quick look at her wrist watch. "I really have to go…," she started unsure whether or not she had to stay a moment longer.
"I have it under control, go," Jake assured his sister-in-law. He turned back to filthy shelter as April left. He sighed. 'A lot of work doesn't even begin to cover it,' He took a few steps around the shelter to see if there was something that he missed in the first glance.
A plan slowly formed in his mind and he spun around to go get some help. He hoped April had some nurses to spare, he hadn't thought to ask previously. He needed someone to sweep this shelter clean, he had to work on the fan. "Supplies. Don't forget about supplies," he muttered to himself.
&
Radio didn't work, but she had a collection of CD's for these kinds of occasions. Well, actually for occasions when there wasn't radio signal not when it was wiped away by explosion, but all the same – she did have some music. And that helped her to keep her relatively cheerful mood.
She shifted in her chair in the rhythm of the music and tapped the wheel. She even sang along. Claire didn't pay much attention to the road, but to her credit, there wasn't anyone on the road except her, probably for many miles around. Good for them, Claire wasn't particularly talented at singing.
She kept looking around at the empty land, sky and road in front of her. There's an expression – if you look for trouble you shall find it. And find she did. She saw the storm clouds from Denver. "Holy…," she muttered gripping the wheel tighter.
Claire knew that a storm from a blown-up city can't be a good thing. She wasn't sure of the specifics and details, however she knew that Denver was probably a heavily radiated area now and that through that storm; the radiation may very well fall down on her. Her gaze shifted to the empty road in front of her.
She could turn her car around and get as far away from here as possible. That actually was quite sensible idea if not for the little fact that she didn't know what was out there. She didn't know whether something like this hadn't happened elsewhere. Claire didn't fancy fleeing from one trouble only to run into a bigger one.
She took one more look at the coming storm clouds. Claire decided to go to town. Running off on her own when there was a chance that somebody would offer her a fine shelter in this upcoming trouble didn't seem such a good idea as moment before. Besides this very morning she saw that institutions were working in this town and if there was somebody to maintain order then there was somebody who would have a plan of what to do. There was somebody who would figure out how to save her skin.
'This just keeps getting better and better,' she thought and turned the music louder. One more glance at the brewing storm and she pressed more on the gas.
Loud music didn't diminish growing fear in her chest. She really tried to stop wishing this wasn't happening as that wasn't helping. Her gaze involuntarily turned back again to the darkening sky and she found herself getting more and more nervous.
An hour later she found herself back at the Jericho. It should have been a bit more than an hour, but she had broken a lot of speed limits, not that there was anyone to notice that. Claire just figured the sooner she got back, the better.
She was driving down the main street when she saw busses and ambulances standing by the Town Hall. She pulled over and stepped out of the car to go and find out what was happening.
"We're packed!" was the first thing she heard among the buzz of the crowd.
'That doesn't sound good,' she thought as she pressed forward to the center of the event – the front of the Town Hall. She needed to know what was happening. At the back of her mind, she thought that she really should have fled as far as she could when the thought first entered her mind.
"What?! I've got a bus load of people here that need shelter!" Jake said, not that stating the obvious helped much.
"You're really going to turn away all these people Eric? You're going to turn away your wife?!" April took on from the spot Jake left. She wanted, no, needed for Eric to solve this problem and so she got a little harsh with him.
Claire stepped into sight as April finished her guilt speech on her husband. Claire didn't think that placing guilt and making the man feel more miserable than he looked was going to be of any help, but it wasn't nor place nor time to point that out. She stood by the side of the bus and observed unfolding events. Claire still hoped that somebody will have a nice solution she could agree with, but the more time passed the more she thought that she'll have to watch out for herself by herself.
"We let everybody in, we'll all suffocate," Gray said. It was his answer to the crowd and April who was quick to judge her husband.
"Eric, there are really sick people here, and the storm is coming," April's loud voice took on a pleading note. She was a doctor, she knew her job, yet she had no idea what to do in a situation like this.
"Okay, we can take 10. And I've saved a spot for you," Eric said thinking that that was what his wife wanted to hear. He didn't understand that she had stressed her own presence among those without shelter to emphasize the importance of this. He thought she wanted to know that he would save her a safe and comfortable spot even if he would turn away everybody else.
April was honestly shocked. Did he really think that she worried about herself, that she was that selfish? She was a doctor, these people were her responsibility. She fretted for them. Would the misunderstandings between her and her husband ever end?
"What are you doing here?" while Eric and April made another knot in their knotted relationship, Jake noticed Claire leaning against the bus. Jake had enough problems with what was going on without Claire here to mess around.
Claire opened and closed her mouth; she really couldn't comprehend what to say to that. Was she forbidden to stand where she wished? She was no child to be ordered around. Honestly, that man's arrogance got bigger by the day. "I…,"
"Get back on the bus, the rain's coming!" Jake said motioning her away. He remembered her from the previous day and knew that she wasn't from this town. Actually, he felt responsible for her being in this town, because of that accident on the highway. Anyway, he thought that the safest thing for her would be to tag along with everybody else and that's what he told her to do. It looked to him that she needed somebody to tell her what to do.
"Alright, the ten most critical, fast," Jake said catching the end of the conversation between April and Eric. "Gray! The salt mine. How many people will it hold?" he turned to Gray Anderson.
As Jake and Gray proceeded to discuss how appropriate salt mine would be for a shelter, wheels were already turning in Claire's mind. Claire hated underground spaces. What's more she hated enclosed underground spaces. She might have settled for a modernized shelter and basement but the very thought of mine. 'Thousands of kilograms of rock and earth and mud with barely something to hold it,' the very thought made her uneasy.
Uneasy is not really the right word, the thought made her feel nauseated and frightened. She didn't fancy being enclosed in a mine. Enclosed in a small, unstable space with lots of people made her feel even worse. She had never thought of herself as a squeamish person or afraid of anything particular but the opportunity of getting closed in under earth… 'Like an early grave. Just a lot more than six feet under ground,' Somehow the possibility of dieing from radiation started to seem more attractive to her.
"Well, let's go!" Jake yelled.
While Claire had been internally shuddering at the thought of mines, the whole matter had been decided. Not that anybody would have listened to her if she had thought to speak – she was nothing to this town, just a pass-through. Besides, if she wanted to be honest with herself, the mines were the best option these people had. She just didn't think that that was the best option for her.
"Jake," Heather spoke. She placatingly placed her hand on his arm. "We're going to be okay. Okay?" she felt she needed to say something reassuring to him. To her he looked so dreadfully uptight and worried. As it wasn't his job to save them all and solve this problem she felt the least she could do was to offer a bit of comfort.
Claire saw this interaction and even forgot her fear of mines for awhile. The situation seemed comical, like from a soap opera, for Claire was most certain that they were not going to be okay. She was sure that they weren't going to be anywhere near okay for a long time to come. Yet she had the most profound wish that she could believe Heather's words and what's more – Claire prayed that Heather was right. World wasn't going to gain from Claire's pessimism.
Jake spared a glance sideways as he got on the bus and he saw Claire still standing there. "Go!" he urged.
She grimaced at being commanded. Honestly, she knew she was good-looking but she doubted that it was so easy to take fifteen years off of her to consider her a child. Claire turned and went to her car. She started the engine and turned to follow the busses. She tapped her fingers against the wheel and huffed impatiently.
The sun was still shining, the wind was blowing and all Claire could think about was that she really didn't want to go down into those mines. 'How many people have been buried under, huh? It always takes so little to have an accident! And these days, who could possibly come and help us get out? No professional help whatsoever, besides if I get lost, who would look for me? I am an outsider, nobody knows me. I'm on my own,'
She was driving at the end of the car column so nobody really noticed when she turned back to highway instead of following the column on a mud road. She pressed gas harder to increase the distance between her and the auto column from Jericho to decrease time for changing her mind. She wasn't going to those heathen god-damned mines. She couldn't. She swallowed the bile that rose up in her throat. Claire took a quick look at the rear mirror; she couldn't see Jericho busses anymore. Just a cloud of slowly setting dust.
'The bridge burned only way to go now – forward,' she thought not lessening the pressure on gas.
"This is either the most foolish thing I have ever done or the smartest and what is, actually, funny, if it is the first then I will die and won't really care and if it is the other then – you go, me," she muttered and popped a CD in the stereo. Claire turned the music on a pleasantly loud level and relaxed. What's done, done.
&
Emily. Good God, he hadn't seen her in what seemed like centuries. He hadn't seen or heard from her until yesterday for five years and now here he was. On the eve of radioactive rainfall he was driving like mad and praying he would make it in time. In time to … He didn't really know what. She was in danger and he knew he had to save her.
If Gray hadn't tossed him that gun… Jake had no plan whatsoever only this wish, need, actually – to save her. Yesterday he had been completely assured that she had nothing left for him and that the feeling was mutual but ever since he heard her pleading voice on the radio…
She was a memory. A good, bittersweet memory and a friend he hoped to regain. He knew she would never again be his lover or companion in life and that wasn't only because she, herself told that none too gently into his face five years ago. He knew he'd never dare to ruin the relationship she had with her fiancé. He could tell by her face that she was happy. How could he not? Years ago it had been his job, duty and hobby to guess her wishes by her features.
He pressed gas. It seemed he couldn't drive fast enough. Years ago he had placed her in danger; years ago he had ruined her life. He had resigned to letting her go, to leaving her alone, but she was in danger now. He couldn't ignore that. He couldn't just let it be. He had to save her.
Jake didn't know why he had panicked when he heard her plea over radio. It was just this town, this place, this… Time. Everything was too much to bear, too much to remember. God, he didn't know what to do and from where to start. All he knew now was that he had to save Emily. 'For old time's sake,'
Whoever was up there above the radioactive rain clouds must have been watching over him, because Jake didn't break his neck in his mad drive to Stanley's place. And he made it in time.
&
She had been driving for couple of hours. Rain clouds and Jericho a safe distance away or so she thought. The road was empty and easily foreseeable for what seemed to be a safe distance. She dared to pull over and take a breath. She had seen nobody on the road since she decided to abandon Jericho. It was like everyone had disappeared. Like the world and surrounding were keeping their breaths in anticipation of… Something.
Claire didn't like this. She didn't want to imagine why the roads were so empty. She didn't want to think about this, not that her wishes had any sway here. She fumbled for a minute in the glow box until she found what she looked for. She spread US road map over the wheel and traced her track since Jericho.
For a moment she debated with herself where she should go. She wanted to go to a big city. 'Away from that small wretched town,' as far away from the tragedy as she could possibly get. Her finger rested at Topeka. That looked like a big city. 'Probably center of the state or something of the kind,'
Topeka was close to Kansas-City which was by the ocean. Ocean meant escape. She fancied getting on a ship and… Claire didn't want to go home. Not really. She hadn't been there for a while and didn't fancy returning, but who said she had to go to England? She could go to Spain, France – Europe in general. She could retour it.
Of course she hadn't seen the Grand Canyon yet or many of the other wonders US offered but at the moment she felt the need of safe distance between her and this country. She had been in distressing times in distressing places and she wasn't fond of being in that kind of situation again.
She sat there for a minute thinking what course of action she should take. What would offer her safest and most comfortable route to wherever she decided to go along the way? "Topeka it is," she muttered and put the map away. She had long road in front of her and she didn't want to make any stops unless absolutely unnecessary.