One of those senses is the feeling of cold water as someone aggressively tries to scrub the blood off your hands and arms. During the shock of the death, the crimson red and in some areas black stains were unnoticed. But when you looked down, saw your brother's blood, and screamed louder than ever, getting it off became first priority for the people that weren't frozen. You don't see who the person with the sponge is, but you can tell they're crying with you.
The second sense is Melissa's broken screams as your father tells the nurse her son is dead. Scott's father, a man that for years you had known as purely as a drunk bastard, but had recently saved your life and your partial respect, stands silently staring at the ground. Once again, you want to say something, anything, but no words come to mind.
Another is the sunlight streaming through the windows at the police station the next day. Kira is sitting next to you, biting her nails. Lydia is sitting on the other side of you, most likely trying to listen to the voices. She, like you, hasn't spoken a word since it happened. You realize that this is the second time she has sat on the bench that the police station after one of her friends was killed- the first time being after Allison died. Scott and Isaac had been with her then. When you are brought into a room and people you don't know are asking questions, you don't respond. You can't even hear them. Eventually, they give up and move on to Kira.
The final sense is your screams as you wake up from nightmares. It is your first time attempting sleep for two nights, and you wish you hadn't tried. Every time you fall asleep, you see Scott dying in some way. Usually it's what happened the previous night, but there are many occasions that involve the Nogitsune. The worst two nightmares are how he really died, except you're the hunter. He begs for you to stop, but you just smile and release the bowstring. The other nightmare is the Nogitsune standing before you, covered in bandages, strangling Scott while telling you your brother is just the first of the people you love that it will destroy.
Every time you wake up you wonder if reality is just another nightmare.
Time goes on. The shock wears off, your senses slowly come back, and you and Lydia begin speaking again. But it doesn't make anything easier.
You can't sleep again. Every time you try, you have to scream yourself awake from a nightmare. Most of the time after waking up you climb into your broken down Jeep and drive to the McCall house. Melissa leaves the door unlocked now. You go inside, quiet as you can be, and just lay in Scott's bed. It feels strange, but you find comfort in the fact you're not the only one. You often find Kira there, and occasionally Lydia and Liam. You can only talk to the mourning beta; when you find the two girls you can't think of anything to say.
You try going to school, which is also a terrible idea. When you walk into your first period class and see the empty desk you need to sit behind, you immediately feel the choking feeling of a panic attack. The instructor, Kira's father, sees you and knows exactly what's happening. He nods and gestures that you can leave.
You sprint through the hallways, unable to breathe, and find yourself in the locker room. Strangely, the last few times you had a panic attack, you ended up in that room. The world is spinning crazily, and you know the only way to stop the panic attack is to calm down and breathe. And you also know that the task is next to impossible. You fall onto the ground, and sit there, quietly. After a minute, you realize that you're waiting for someone that won't come.
Lydia can't hear you, so she won't come.
Your father doesn't know, so he won't come.
Malia doesn't understand, so she won't come.
And Scott is dead.
The thought doesn't help you through the panic attack.
You start rummaging through your bag, trying to find something to help you. Finding nothing but folders, you start shaking. Suddenly, you hear a familiar clatter of something hitting the ground. You look down and see Scott's inhaler, which has been forgotten for months. The last time it had been used it was right after Scott had been bitten and was having his first and only panic attack. He hadn't known what was happening. You had given him his inhaler, making him believe he was having an asthma attack. Using the inhaler made him take a breath, ending the panic attack.
You smile slightly at the memory and stare at the inhaler. A moment later, you realize the panic attack is over.
"Hey Stiles. Breathe," You suddenly remember, and the smile fades from your face. The panic attack may be over, but you're still far from okay.