Thanks so much for the reviews! Love them. I really appreciate you not giving up on this story. :)
Okay, anyways. This chapter is for the most part on Jesse's POV, but then there's Suze's POV too. It's easier to write on Suze's, since she's a girl.
I'll probably update this in a few days, and then nothing till Feb 4th or so, because my birthday's on Feb 3rd and my classes start on the 5th. But I promise I won't give up till this story is over.
Please review.
She took her stuff and left. Not all her stuff, but enough so that she wouldn't need to come home for a couple of weeks. I couldn't be without her for so long.
I just sat there and watched her go.
There was nothing I could do, you see. She'd never understand why I'm acting this way. But I do have my reasons.
Susannah likes to think she's invincible, but she's not. I know it. I'm the only one who can see her weakness, but tonight, when I looked at her, she was completely closed. I couldn't read her eyes. What should I have done? I couldn't tell her to stay, because she'd need an explanation and I couldn't give it to her. Couldn't she just trust me?
I got up, eventually, and made my slow way to the bed, but when I laid down, I found out that I couldn't sleep. Uncertainly, I took the phone on my hand and after I found her number, called CeeCee.
"CeeCee Webb, who is this?" She answered politely.
"CeeCee, it's Jesse. Don't hang up." She sighed on the other side of the line.
"What do you want?" She asked.
"I… look, I'm sorry. I just wanna know if Susannah arrived yet and if she's alright." Waves of frustration washed through me, and I wanted to hang up. The silent was not good.
"Yes, Jesse, she has arrived; and no, she's not alright."
"Wha- Why?" I asked.
"She's staying with me for a while, until she figures this thing out. Look, she didn't tell me what happened, but she's really crushed. If you've done something not good, though, DeSilva, I swear you'll feel a lot of pain."
I didn't tell her I already was feeling a lot of pain. The house looked empty without her, though she had only left like, less than two hours ago. "Can you tell her something?" I asked.
She seemed to think about it. "No. If you have something to tell her, tell her yourself. She has a half an hour break tomorrow morning."
"I know she has a break tomorrow morning! I live with her!" I spat, mad. I knew so much more about Susannah than CeeCee. She was just getting in the way.
Okay. I need to calm down. I'll never get her to let me talk to Susannah by yelling at her. It's not about her.
"Goodbye now," she said, and before I could say anything else, she hang up.
I wanted to throw the phone at the wall, but I got it together. It wouldn't help me. All I needed to do was get up early tomorrow and talk to Susannah. Then maybe I can convince her to come home.
It was very easy to get up early, since I had hardly slept at all. I looked horrible. I washed my face, dressed in the dark jeans Susannah loved and a normal t-shirt and left. Our place was close to the campus, so I got there in a few minutes.
But her second class had already started.
I walked around a little before I decided I should get some coffee. I got it to go and went to the library, where I could focus on something else other than what her eyes looked like last night. Icy and full of pain.
Silly me. Chemistry obviously didn't make any difference. I was putting the book back in its place when I heard a familiar voice.
A voice talking on a cell phone.
"No, Kel, you can't come over tonight. Because you can't. No, I'm not. I'm not! I have this… thing to turn in tomorrow. I'm glad you believe me. No, that wasn't sarcasm. It wasn't. Kel, it wasn't. I have to go. I don't know, some random girl. No, I'm not with her. I'm at the library. Not making out with anyone. Bye."
I walked over to Paul after he had stuck his cell phone on his pocket, looking exasperated, and called out his name. He turned around, surprised to see me.
"DeSilva," he said. "What do you want?"
"What are you doing here so early, Paul? George, who's in law school, told me there are no morning classes."
"So?" he asked.
"So you're here to annoy Susannah. I thought we had a deal about this. She can't get hurt."
"Maybe this isn't about the deal," Paul smirked. I wanted to kill him, seriously.
"So I'll guess I'll just leave you to die next time."
"Whatever, man. I believe Suze's single again now."
I pushed him against a wall. "No, she's not," I hissed. His gaze locked in my eyes, challenging me. Daring me to fight him. He was obviously asking for this, but I had to get myself together. I let him go and got out of there. Susannah's class would end in 4 minutes.
God, I'm so tired. My Psychology History teacher kept going on and on about something and I have no idea what she's talking about. You have an exam on Friday, I forced myself to think. Whatever. Everyone knows Mrs. Goodwin always takes the questions from the text book.
My mind drifted off to Jesse. No, I can't think about him.
I glanced at my watch. It was 1:36 PM. 4 minutes to the end of this class. Then I'd have the rest of the day off. Good. I needed to study for my exam. I needed to talk to CeeCee… Tell her what happened, so she could help me figure this out.
I just never expected Jesse to lie to me. After all we've been through, it seems… unnecessary. Unless, of course, he was cheating. My heart and brain started yelling NO at this thought, but a part of me asked if I wasn't in denial. You never know.
I picked up my book bag as everyone headed to the door. I didn't listen to the teacher letting us go… Maybe I should be paying attention.
It was a sunny day, and it was very hot inside my jeans. I knew I should've worn a skirt. But it didn't match my tee shirt. I was thinking about getting some ice tea in some place with air conditioner when someone came from behind me and touched my shoulder.
"Susannah?" Jesse called. I turned to face him, but the way he looked surprised me. He looked bad.
But I couldn't let that mess with my voice. I needed it not to shake, now, please. "What?" I asked. Ha. It worked.
His eyes darkened. "Can we… talk?"
I glanced at him. He looked really bad. I wanted more than anything place my hands on his face and kiss him, to make all the pain go away. Soothe him.
But I couldn't. I needed to find out what was going on. "I guess… but I'm having lunch with CeeCee at 2:15, so this has gotta be quick." Oh, God, why did he have to look at me like that?
"Okay."
"Hm… you wanna talk… here?" I asked, hesitant.
"I don't care where I'm going to talk to you. Susannah, come home, please. I promise things will work out. I can't do this without you." Oh, so he was not here to explain things to me. He came to tell me he'd deal with whatever it is, without me.
I was sick of being treated like a child.
"I need to sort things, Jesse, please. Don't push me. I need time." The look in his eyes broke my heart. I don't think I'll ever forget it.