Chapter 4: The Kwiki Mart Incident
"Trench Coats are like blankets, they're comfortable, and a nice outer shield to keep people away. but they can also cause disasters."
Sam announced "I sense the Kwiki Mart is in Danger."
Dean scowled "No way. We save people. How can a Kwiki Mart be in danger?"
Sam was his usual uptight self as he tried to reason with his brother. He was also capable of employing sarcasm and had his bitch face on.
"I don't know Dean, but people do shop there, and work there and I sense danger coming from there, so can we please just go do our job."
"Fine, bitch."
"jerk"
When Dean enters the scene the first thing that comes to mind is. Son of a bitch! Sam was right. This place was a danger zone a hazard to limb and health. Then he saw the trench coat, the messy bedhead, the shadowed jaw, the quivering shoulders.
Aw crap! It's Castiel. Dammit. What am I going to do?
He's going to recognize me. Maybe say something about those super-secret super sexy panties. Oh, wait, I am in my uniform and have my little eye mask of hunter green around my eyes, no way is he going to recognize me.
I am a super hero. I am going to save …. Well whoever or whatever needs saving and right now Castiel looks as if he could use some saving.
Castiel is clutching his basket of goods close to his chest; he's looking half scared of the cashier as the guy is scowling at the clueless tornado of disaster. The Kwiki Mart was a wreck.
Covering the linoleum floors were cracked broken eggs their disgusting slimy residue congealed and mixed with the waste from broken glass bottles of wine and beer. A whole shelf had tumbled to the floor, fallen like some victim in a battle lost to its enemy, all of its goods scattered about like its very blood and guts. It was a lost war zone with the victor being some hapless Dark Angel reject.
"I, I am so, so sorry," whimpered Castiel, "I, I have money." He tried to assure the young man that was berating him.
"Money doesn't solve everything you know!" growled the frustrated Cashier named Brian.
"I mean look at this place man. You just totally demolished it! WTF, man! WTF!" he screamed as Castiel curled up brokenly over his basket.
"Hey now citizen," said Dean, blustering in. "I am sure this guy didn't mean to wreck the place and he's offering to make reparations."
"Dude! Look at this place!" Cashier Brian screeched, "Just look at it!"
Dean grimaced and looked all around at the, well there were just no words for it, other than war zone that he could think of to describe it.
"Okay" Dean admitted "point made buddy, here let me, and this guy, clean this up for you, and then he can, you know, pay you for all the broken things and stuff."
The cashier looked as if this was a brilliant idea he agreed with. "Okay. But not trench coat guy. He'll just destroy my work place even more, even if he doesn't mean to do it, he will do it."
"Like, you should have seen him man, He comes waltzing in here, grabs a basket and the stand falls over, the bucket of cleaner rolls into his pathway, his coat knocks against it and then boom it rolls into a stack of magazines and splashes them ruining them and then well you know, it all goes downhill from there like a domino effect, you can just imagine it, just by looking at this place, can't you?"
Dean grimaces, pinches the bridge of his nose.
Castiel gives Dean the saddest look ever then shuffles his feet "I, I am so sorry Dean." Whispers Castiel dejectedly.
Castiel then straightens out his posture and bamf! Dark blue wings make an appearance, eyes as cold as ice with a resolve that could put the ice cap to shame, in a steadier, deeper voice he growls, "I am a Dark Angel and you are a No -Good -Do –Gooder- Good- Guy. And though I had no nefarious plot at this time –"
He pauses then runs his eyes furtively over the scene as if searching for some hidden eaves dropper before he continues his schpeel.
"I mean, a-hahaha-ha- bwah- ha- ha -ha,"
Castiel sounded terrible like a mix between a robot and sicking up cat.
"Your appearance comes as no surprise to me; Hunter of Justice Dean, look around you at my mighty… um wrath! Yes wrath and destruction, for I am an Angel on a Mission to do Evil!"
"Ha ha ha", cough hack cough," ha."
Dean winces. After all of that terrible maniac type laugh, Cas still didn't sound very convincing for a bad guy.
Wait! Aw crap! He did recognize me!
Well, still that doesn't exactly change anything.
"Listen Cas, can I call you Cas?"
Castiel's wings slumped. "Yes Dean."
"Okay, good, now since you're a Dark Angel and all that, you do have powers right?"
Castiel's blue eyes blinked owlish like and he nodded if a little hesitantly.
"Good, so like with a snap of your fingers you could clean this place up right?"
Castiel nodded dubiously.
Cashier Brian hid behind his counter, quaking in terror of the winged evil doer.
"Cool. If you do that, we'll let this go and call it a day, that good with you?"
Castiel's face brightened in a sudden beaming smile. "Oh yes! And, I can still call Mother and tell her I destroyed the Kwiki Mart for my first evil plot?"
"er, yeah, sure, why not."
Castiel seemed to almost dance for joy. His wings fluffed out proudly.
"But it wasn't on purpose was it? I mean that's what you said earlier didn't you?" Dean asked just wanting to get his facts straight.
Castiel's wings slumped again in rejection and this time a couple of feathers fell out making Dean wince. Poor guy he looked so disappointed.
"Poor Mother, she will be very upset. She has been in such a bad mood lately. I was going to make her breakfast in bed and give her lots and lots of beer, to try and cheer her up. I am yet another failure. My poor Mother." Sob.
"Hey now none of that, I mean you could still call her up and lie about it. I mean that's evil right?"
Castiel's eyes lit up his tears magically disappeared again and his whole face was back to sparkles of happiness. "Oh yes." He breathed out. "You are of course correct Dean. You are so smart."
"Uh, thanks I guess. Come on now let's snap those long fingers of yours and let's get this place cleaned up."
A blink of an eye, a little bit of fireworks and blue sparks and the place was clean and sanitary once more, probably more so, because Castiel's mojo was like a bunch of seeker missiles seeking out and destroying all dirt and broken glass and sludge, all gone. It was a thousand times more effective than a clerk's minimum wage eye sight that was for sure. Probably the first time in decades that the place was actually clean like brand spanking new clean.
Dean made sure the debit credit card machine ran Castiel's card because Cashier Brian was hiding from them, and left the crumpled wadded up dollars and coins behind to further cover the cost of damages.
"Good job Cas. Now let's get out of here and call it a day, okay? How do you feel about burgers?"
"Oh, I love them. They make this vessel very happy."
Dean smiled brightly. "What a coincidence, same with me. You're awesome Cas."
Castiel blushed. "Thank you Dean."
Sam though was not happy about his brother's new friend this was next to Benny his second worst mistake at friendship ever.
Dark Angels were Evil.
They were not their friends. Dark Angels and the Hunters of Justice were always at odds. They would never be able to set aside their differences.
"Dean, what are you doing?" Sam hissed, glaring at the oblivious trench coat guy with his angels' wings hanging out like a streaker.
"Well, we're going out for burgers with Cas. We did good in the Kwiki Mart so Cas and I are hungry and thought some pie and burgers would be awesome."
"If Grandpa Campbell found out about this…. Hell if Dad found out about this." Bitch face in full mode. "I mean come on Dean! Benny's bad enough but a Dark Angel?"
"Hey! Don't go all judge-y on me and my friends Sammy. You know Benny is a reformed Vampire. He can't help the blood sucking but he can be a good guy. He is a good guy. Cas is a, well I am not sure yet, but I ain't going to reject him just because he's got wings."
Dean continued to splutter and babble. "I mean that's bigotry ain't it? I mean hating someone just for their wings. Come on man, don't be a hater."
Dean glared at his little brother the giant freak. "I thought you were, as my brother, a lot better than that. Grandpa Campbell's a snob anyway, and pretty narrow minded. I love the guy don't get me wrong but he's as bad as some bad guys sometimes y'know. And you're so much smarter than Gramps. And aren't you always the guy going on and on about good will and justice and all that blah blah blah stuff you talk about all the time?"
"Dean" Sam felt scandalized at Dean's bluntness and opinion on their Grandfather.
"I mean look at him Sam."
Both brothers eyes turned to Castiel who was biting his lip, wings slumped behind him, he looked lost, directing his cell phone in all directions, he fidgeted, befuddled by his phone, his fingers tapped on his cell phone keypad but also tapped at other parts of the cell phone in a growing sense of frustration he even shook the phone and seemed to contemplate throwing it, also the phone had a name, who the hell named their cell phone? Oddly enough it was named #431.
The phone looked dead.
"um Cas, is your phone okay?" asked Dean a little worried.
Castiel sighed depressed. "I think number four three one has passed on. I will need to ask Mother for another phone, it will make it my four hundred and thirty second phone to date. Mother will not be happy."
"Uh, wow," mouthed Sam in shock. Obviously Dean had a point and Castiel was clueless about cell phones.
Dean reached out and took the phone in hand. He concentrated for a moment then smirked.
"Oh Cas, I sense it may be out of power and out of minutes. All you need to do is plug it in somewhere and top her up with some minutes from the phone company."
Castiel slumped. "I do not know how to do either of those things."
Dean smiled and laughed patting Cas on the back in comfort. "No worries man. I'll help you out this time. We just need to plug her into baby. #431 will be ready to go in no time, probably right after we have pie and burgers which of course will definitely be on you. You're paying the lunch tab."
Castiel smiled sweetly, his wings fluffed out happily then disappeared back into his trench coat. "Of course Dean, it will be my pleasure. I am so pleased and Mother will be so happy. How does plugging in work? And who or what is baby? I am assuming she is some sort of energy source?"
"Naw, Baby's my car and I have a cell phone charger in her, it's a chord that hooks the cell phone right here at this tiny port, see, on your phone this little slanted odd shaped slit, this is where the chord plugs in, then at the other end of the chord will be Baby's port that connects to Baby's power. I'm good with tech stuff like cars, and things mechanical like that."
"You are so smart Dean, I am so impressed, and a mecha wizard at that. I was so very lucky to run into you." Castiel was beaming brightly at Dean, like Dean hung the sun and the moon.
Dean was blushing as well as stammering overwhelmed by Castiel's clumsy combination of flattery and bluntness.
Castiel looked like he was falling even further in love with Sam's brother. Sam thought Castiel seemed like some weird combination of clueless naiveté and obvious genius-ness, maybe he was some sort of idiot savant or a gifted autistic or something.
Or maybe this was all a neat little trick to gain Dean's trust, a trap to weasel his Dark Angel-ness into the Hunters of Justice League to later betray their trust and destroy them from the inside out?
Castiel seemed to notice Sam for the first time. He blinked, wings coming out in an attack or defensive movement. Castiel thrust Dean behind him. So obviously this was some sort of protection instinct thing coming into play. A blade came easily into his hand replacing his cell phone in less than a blink of the eye.
"And who are you?" he growled suddenly on the defensive to protect Dean as well as himself from this rather large person of dubious designs.
Castiel was pretty scary with his wings puffed out tripling his presence and size into something pretty darned intimidating. Castiel was very impressive, especially with the blue power swarming up his body and a gleaming silver angel's blade in his hand.
"Woah, woah, there Cas," Dean interfered, trying to soothe his startled friend, "calm down big guy, this is my little brother Sammy."
"It's Sam." The younger brother corrected in that bratty tone that Dean just loved to hear. It meant he was being irritating to Sam and really that was an older brother's prerogative, to mess with their little brothers.
Castiel immediately powered down, tucked his wings back into his coat, and his angel's blade went back from where it came from which seemed to be hidden in another dimension or something.
"Hello, Sam. Introductions are important. You startled me. I did not see you in the Kwiki Mart with Dean."
"Do you work with Dean often? Wait, Dean, did you not say the first time we met, that you had a sister named Samantha? Is this Sam the same Samantha? What an interesting super power to be both a girl and a boy. Samantha, how did you enjoy the gift Dean gave you. I myself found it to be very nice and soft."
Dean looked both stricken and panicked. Sam was puzzled and a little concerned for Castiel's sanity. As everyone knew criminals like the Dark Angels weren't exactly sane.
"Um Nooo, Dean only has brothers." Sam corrected. "I'm Sam or Samuel named for our Grandfather on Mother's side of the family, I'm a psychic, and our baby brother is named Adam, he's a healer and named after Grampa Henry's Grandfather Adam, who may or may not be related to your ancestor Cain."
Dean hissed at his brother elbowing him in the ribs. "TMI don't you think Sam. The guy doesn't need to know the entire family tree, y'know."
Castiel tilted his head in that bird like gesture of his, brow furrowed in thought. "Perhaps so, to be related how fascinating, but I would have to ask Grandpa Cain about it."
"He's still alive?" gasped Sam in shock.
"Yes, but retired." Castiel smiled gently. "We watch the bees together."
"Oh, well, uh that's cool." Said Dean glad to see that Sam had directed the startling conversation to go elsewhere.
Sam did not need to know about the super-secret super sexy super intimate, lets reiterate super-secret panties.
"Wait, wait, first time that you met, when was this?" asked Sam curious.
"Hmm, I can't say exactly, it was near Mother's day I believe, maybe on Mother's day or just the day before it? Oh! It was more like last year's mother's day, mother's day has come again, you see."
"Oh, wow" said Sam, "a whole year and you still remember Dean. That's very interesting."
Read the sub text, Castiel has just made the list for stalker and obsessive Dark Angel type, not a good type to have interactions with at all.
Sam was worried.
"Yes, I believe so. And Dean is very memorable," Chuckled Castiel. "My, how quickly the time goes by a second Mother's day, should this be an anniversary of sorts for us Dean?" he teased.
Dean choked. Alarms were going off he had to do something to get them off the subject of their first meet and greet. Sam gave Dean a rather odd look which Dean chose to ignore.
"Come on guys, Lunch time, all right. And yeah, Sam's my crime fighting partner most times. This was our second gig together. We just graduated superhero school." He babbled. "Time really does fly, don't it?"
"Chop, chop, I feel like I could die from hunger at any second. I need my double burger double bacon and onions with cheddar and onion rings and fries and a strawberry milkshake and pie and a coke. Gotta have me some pie man. I'm famished. Crime fighting y'know, it creates a mighty appetite and hunger, I did say I was starving right?"
Baby was parked in her shaded spot in the parking lot. Dean hopped into his car plugged in Castiel's phone, revved the engine, grabbed a new cassette tape and turned the volume way, way up, letting the beat of drums and heavy metal guitar play over the airwaves, then pointed baby towards traffic and the nearest burger joint.
Some hours later after parting ways.
Castiel was content. He was happy to have met both Sam and Dean. Mostly Dean though. Dean was such an interesting superhero. His mask did little to hide his identity for Castiel. Dean was so bright and smart and funny. Of course Castiel did not always understand his friends' subtext, conversation topics or the many quaint pop culture quirks and references they used; however they were fascinating, and Castiel realized he had much to learn, far more than he had ever realized or even that his mother had realized.
Castiel felt surprisingly stunted and rather embarrassed to not be as bright as Dean and Sam were.
Dean fixed Castiel's phone and they exchanged information including Facebook. Dean told Castiel to not be a stranger and not to change that he liked Castiel the way he was before Dean dropped Castiel off at the nearest bus stop where Castiel would then mojo, well fly really, his way home.
And of course Mother was very happy to hear how Castiel had demolished the Kwiki Mart. She even hugged him but not only did she seem happy and huggy but she then gave Castiel many chocolate chip cookies in reward for his evil ways which Gabriel eyed very jealously.
Gabriel was as Mother called him, a Sugar-Holic, also known as a Sugar Addict. Castiel was not allowed to share sugary things with his hyper active trickster brother.
But because Castiel was from a family of evil and evil does not always follow the rules, Castiel of course shared two of his cookies with Gabriel anyway, which his brother gobbled down greedily, thanked him profusely then Gabriel flew off to his studios where he produced such award winning shows as Doctor Sexy, M.D., Casa Erotica and some other "Porn" shows of which Castiel was not allowed to watch ever.
Mother forbade him from Casa Erotica and Porn on pain of having his minions taken away from him. Minions being his collection of rescued animals, all of them named Minion. However Castiel did find that he rather enjoyed Doctor Sexy M.D., Mother even seemed to like the show as well, and even Dean was a huge fan of the show, in fact Dean was president and part of the fan club, for Doctor Sexy M.D. it said so on his card with his contact information.
Dean was amazing.
He needed to think up some new and improved ways to make his mother proud of him. She expected much greatness from him. After such a successful day, he was so happy. Castiel joyfully retired to his tower to play on Facebook and to plot his newest plot of evil.