Lost and Insecure,
You found me, you found me.
Lying on the floor,
Surround me, surround me.
I awoke to the smell of cleaning products... Damn maids. I pulled up my body and stretched, my back cracking in a few places. I swung my legs over the side of the bed, I shuddered as the cold tile made contact with my feet. I padded toward the closet, another useless day. I picked out a pair of jeans and a purple sweater. I went to the bathroom and peeled off my pajamas and took a quick shower. Once I had dried myself off, I slipped into my outfit for the day. I blow dried my hair and walked slowly to my bedroom door. No point in rushing, I have no purpose...
Once I got down the stairs I realized, no food. I had been eating broth and drinking water the past few months, no appetite. Well, I need food. And I've been gone too long for the maids to actually know what I want... I guess I'll have to do it the normal people way and go to the grocery store. I did it in college, I can do it here. Well, in college I usually just ate out, I had gone to get some food for our mini fridge though! I can do this... I went to the coat closet and grabbed my white coat and purple boots. I clicked the button on the key chain that started my car from inside the house, that way it would be warm when I got in the car.
"Mmmm" I sighed as the cold air hit me. Goose bumps quickly emitting themselves all over my body. I hopped in my car and raced off to the grocery store I had passed many times during my childhood. I parked my car in the closest available spot and hurried to the warm shelter. Once inside I grabbed a grungy cart and pushed the disgust to the back of my mind. Once I had taken off my jacket I finally was able to relax in the warm place.
I was walking around the store looking through the produce when I bumped into somebody while walking backwards. I felt that same weird feeling I got yesterday at the park.. Is there something wrong with me? I turned around to be met with possibly the most gorgeous brown eyes I've ever seen. I felt something shoot through me as I recognized the hair that I had seen at the park, his wallet!
I quickly found my voice, "Uhm, hi! Sorry about that! I actually recognize you.. the park? You knocked me to the floor..." A look of feeling sorry evidently showed on his beautifully sculpted face. "I am so sorry about that, I was late for the meeting that would make or break my career, let's just say it broke. ." Ouch, that sucks. "I am so sorry... If I was any hindrance towards your meeting." Wow I sound so smart! "No it's fine, I was already long gone by the time I had bumped into you, again I'm sorry." Awww. "No, really it's fine! I actually have something of yours." I got out his wallet and handed it to him." Oh my god! you are amazing, how can i repay you?! I thought this was gone forever!" "Really, it's fine. I would want someone else to do this for me soo.." He looked happy beyond words. "Well, how about dinner? I wouldn't feel right without somehow repaying you."
Hmm, dinner, I don't know him... But he seems fine. I mean it couldn't hurt.. "Sure dinner would be great." I smiled. A smile spread across his face, "Awesome! Okay, uhm, well.. How about uhh.. 7 o' clock, on Saturday?" I have nothing to do.. "That'd be great! Miltons?" He smiled even larger, if possible. "Perfect! I'll meet you there." We shook hands and said our goodbyes. Wow, hot much? I quietly laughed at the laughed at the thought. As I finished up my grocery shopping and loaded my car, I started mentally filing through the clothes in my closet. Before I got to the shoes I realized that I was pulling into the large home. God, I need to move out of this house. Who really needs a house this big for only one person?
I made a mental to find a real estate agent and to look at some other houses. I walked into the house and informed the maids of the food in the trunk. I walked upstairs and fell back onto my king sized bed. I thought back, to when I was a child, when I was four was my biggest memory.. Everything was so perfect.. I was so young, and innocent. Turned off to the horrors the world possessed.
Flashback (NoPOV)
"Mommy! Daddy! Wook! The leaves are pink and owange!" The 4 year old said excitedly.
Her mother laughed at the innocence of her daughter, while her father stared at them in awe, watching their interaction with each other.
"Yeah sweetheart, they are aren't they? Do you like it here baby?" She asked smiling, they were vacationing to Indiana to visit family in the fall.
The colors enveloped the little girl. She had no idea so many colors could come from a tree. She thought it was the most beautiful thing in the world. She was young, but she had seen her fair share of beauty. She thought her mother was even prettier than the colors surrounding her though. Not just her mommy, but her and daddy. They looked at each other in a way that was just gorgeous. She told herself that she would find someone to look at her like that, she wanted to see what it was like. When they looked at her they both had that same look.
"I wove you mommy and daddy."
"Aww, I love you too pumpkin!" Her mother replied, tears coming to her eyes.
"Bud, I love you more than anything." Her father said with an adoring look.
"You will always wove me wight? You won't ever weave me?" She asked, pure innocence.
"Never." They said at once.
"Pwomise?" She asked.
"Promise."
End Flashback
I started bawling after that. They need to be here. Now! I need them now more than ever. They were my life. I thought of them every night. Prayed for them when I woke up. Thought of them whenever I heard the word love, and it was college, I heard that a lot around me. I never got the memo that life can end so quickly. Life is so fragile, so easy to break. I felt like my heart had just been ripped out and stomped on. I didn't feel alive anymore. My happiness was gone.
I was hoping I would be back to normal after this weekend with Nick. I mean, he seemed super cool. I hope we can become friends. I don't think I am ready for a relationship.
I thought a little bit more about my family and remember about my guitar in the back of my closet. I go and grab it and silently thank Lily for making me take lessons. I grab a notebook and a pen and before I know it a song is written, I always found song writing calming, and I'm strumming my guitar. I start singing the words on the page, it feels so right.
The Best Day
I'm five years old and it's getting cold I don't know why all the trees change in the fall I'm thirteen now and don't know how my friends could be so mean I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school I had an excellent father I grew up in a pretty house and i had space to run There is a video i found from back when i was three Now i know why all the trees change in the fall
I've got my big coat on
I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you
I run and run
Past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides
Look now the sky is gold
I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home
I know you're not scared of anything at all
Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away
But I know I had the best day with you today
I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys
And we drive and drive until we found a town far enough away
And we talk and window shop till I forget their names
But I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel ok
But I know I had the best day with you today
His strength has made me stronger
And I had the best days with you
You set up a paint set in the kitchen and you're talking to me
It's the age of princesses and pirate ships and the seven dwarfs
Daddy's smart and you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world
I know you were on my side even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes
Staying back and watching me shine and I didn't know if you knew
So I'm taking this chance to say that i had the best day with you today
Tears were silently falling down my face as I wrapped up the song. And that was when I felt it. It was like my parents were telling it to me. I could hear them. You'll be alright. And I trusted the voice, I will be alright.
So I totally cried when writing most of this.. I could never imagine losing my parents. The love they share was based off of my parents(: So sorry for that super long wait /: . I broke my laptop, I spilt water on it.. So I had to wait to get a new one.. I got the new mac.. (: Yay! Haha. Well I hope you enjoyed that, I'm sorry if it's short. Please review! I only have a few "/. But I got hits! So please review or I won't update.. Sorry. Thanks guys! (:
Oh and credit to Taylor Swift (aka the best singer/songwriter/person on the planet) for the song used. I know I changed some of it a bit, but i had to! It wouldn't fit the situation otherwise! And REMEMBER! Miley was never Hannah, no singing career. She is famous/Rich because of her dads business. She is a socialite, like a girl from Gossip Girl! Haha.
REVIEW! OR NO CHAPTER!
-Savannah(: