I knew I was dreaming when I saw the memory in my mind.

It was of me and Edward. It was from when I was little, probably about a year old. We were in a meadow, it was bright and sunny out. So Edward's skin was glistening like crystals. He was holding me in his arms and throwing me up in the air. Both of us laughing all the while.

"I love you daddy." I'd said to him in my sweet little ringing voice.

"As I love you my darling Renesmee. You are one of the few lights of my life. One of the reasons for my being on this earth. You are the most beautiful, talented, wonderful daughter any man could wish for. You are a dream, and I am the lucky dreamer. I will love you forever and always my sweets. Never forget that." Edward had told me, his eyes boaring into mine.

"I won't. You're my big daddy." I'd promised.

He'd laughed and kissed my cheek, hugging me close to his rock hard chest.

I woke up startled, sitting up in my bed. I was sobbing loudly. I tried to calm myself and wipe away the tears before someone came up here. It wouldn't be easy to explain to them why I was crying, especially Edward.

"Why are you crying?" A husky voice asked from by my window. Not the direction I w as anticipating, or the tone of voice.

I looked over with teary eyes and saw Jacob leaning against my window frame. His face was anxious.

I shook my head. "Just a dream."

"A dream?" Jacob repeated confused. He walked over and sat next to me on the bed.

"No, it was a memory." I told him, my voice thick with tears.

"What about?" He asked in a concerned tone.

"My dad and me when I was little."

His face lit up with understanding. "Ahh, what happened?"

"I can't talk about it." I whispered.

Jacob lifted my hand and placed it on his face. He wanted me to show it to him. I closed my eyes in concentration and showed him the memory that haunted me tonight. When it was over I dropped my hand from his face, but he kept it securely in his.

"Wow. Edward was actually sweet and… loving. I thought he was only that way with Bella. But why would that make you sad?" He questioned.

"That's why. Because he's not like that with me anymore. He doesn't care for me anymore. All he cares about is my mom. Now I had that dream reminding me of how we were once. Like its mocking me. Maybe if I stayed little and cute he'd still lov e me."

"That's ridiculous Ness. Edward does love you. You are one of the few people he actually does care for. Why would you think he doesn't?"

"I don't know. I mean you see him, it just seems like it. Especially after I accused him of it last night." I took a deep breath. "I can't talk abut this anymore Jake."

He rubbed my hand softly. "Okay, hon."

"So why are you here?"

He smiled. "I just finished running patrol. I was in the area and wanted to see how you were. Is that okay?" He pretended to worry. Like it ever wouldn't be okay with me.

Now it was my turn to smile. But before I could answer my door flung open and Edward was staring at us.

I knew what he would be seeing. Jacob, in my room, on my bed with me, at night, him not knowing about it.

"Jacob I think you should go now." Edward said icily.

Jacob got off my bed, leaned down to kiss my forehead and jumped out my window.

I looked at Edward.

"Your wrong." He told me. I was about to protest but he held up and hand silencing me. "We'll discuss it in the morning. Get some sleep." He walked out of my room without another word.

I woke up again, not dreaming this time. I heard voices from outside my door and got up to investigate. It was unusual to hear voices so loud in this house. It wasn't necessary, we all had super hearing.

I got off my bed and walked to the door, making no noise in the process.

As I got closer to the door the voices got clearer, more recognizable. It was Bella and Edward, and by their tone of voice it wasn't a pleasant conversation.

"No, of course I love her! How could you think that?" Edward roared.

"I don't think that. Renesmee does! You have been distant lately, though. Do you realize that?" Bella spoke in a loud voice.

I heard Edward sigh frustrated.

"Is there a reason for that?" Bella asked sternly.

"I don't know. I mean…" I'd never heard Edward struggle for words before. " Ever since Jacob imprinted on her… I always knew there was a possibility of them being together in the end. I just hoped she would be smarter then that, then to choose that dog."

I heard a loud smacking sound. I wasn't sure what it was.

"OW!" Edward screamed.

"I'm sorry but you deserved it." Bella said. Oh, now I go it. Bella slapped him. "How could20you say that? Jake's the best person she could ever be with!"

"I disagree. You know from experience what kind of pain he can cause. He's hurt you before. Renesmee will fall into his trap and be hurt just the same. I won't let that happen to her."

"Oh my god! Edward are you kidding me? Like really Edward? Really?"

"Really what?"

"Are you serious?"

"I am completely serious."

"How can you be serious?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I was the one who hurt Jake! I caused him pain NOT the other way around."

"So all those night you stayed up crying over him?"

"That was me not being able to deal with the problems I brought on myself."

"Alright." The way Edward said that you could tell he wasn't really agreeing. "No matter. I believe he will hurt her just the same."

"Well I know that he won't. Jake's not like that. He will take good care of my Renesmee. I am confident in that fact. I think your just arguing about this because of your own issues with Jake. You don't like him." She accused.

"No I don't.

"I don't think that matters. Renesmee will be with whoever she wants to be with. And right now that's Jake. You need to put your own feeling aside and think about your daughter's happyness. She's happy with Jake. And if she's happy then so am I. It doesn't matter if I feel uncomfterble with the match. All that matters is her feelings. I thought you would feel the same." I heard her turn and walk away, stomping really. Her foot steps stopped immediately though when the next words came out of Edward's mouth.

"You know, sometimes I just wish I didn't have a daughter. It'd make life so much simpler." Edward grumbled quietly.

Bella gasped loudly. "Of all the things you've said that is the worst. I cannot believe those words just came out of your mouth. There are no words for the feelings I have right now. I though you were better then that Edward. Evidently I was wrong." This time she flew soundlessly down the stairs, leaving Edward alone in the hall.

I stood there by the door feeling completely empty. Edward just said he wishes he didn't have a daughter. As his daughter that wasn't something I wanted to hear. Tears streamed down my face. I whipped them away quickly, trying to cloud my unpleasant thoughts of his words. He was still outside my room and could hear if I thought about it.=2 0I wasn't so keen on the idea of him knowing I eavesdropped on their conversation. I could go out there and pretend like I just woke up, totally innocent. But I wasn't sure if I would handle looking at him knowing he didn't want me.

I started to cry again. I ran to my desk and grabbed a book. I needed to stop thinking about this. Or at the very least get away from here so he couldn't hear my thoughts. I threw the book in the corner and tossed on some clothes. Not paying attention to what I was putting on or even if it matched.

I went to the window, taking my phone on the way and I looked down. It wasn't really that far to the ground. I was a vampire for crying out loud. This kind of stuff came naturally to me. My little pep talk to myself didn't make me any less nervous. But I had to do it, this was my only way out. I took a deep breath then leaped out my window and landed on the balls of my feet. I did this action silently. I opened my eyes and dashed into the forest full speed. I knew my family would have saw or heard me, Edward especially. So I thought on my feet.

If you care for me at all you won't follow. I'll be back. I thought the words in my head, knowing Edward would be listening. He must have listened because as I got deeper into the woods I didn't hear anyone's advance . I was grateful to that. I continued to run not sure where I was going. There was only one other place I went besides my home. That was Jacob's house. And I wasn't in the mood to go there, but I also didn't want to be alone.

I reached La Push in a few minutes and ran down the dirt road to Jacob's house, not caring about the watching eyes of by standards.

Knocking on the door wasn't necessary seeing as I was going so fast I couldn't slow down enough before I slammed my head against the door. It hurt! It felt like his door was made of steel. Maybe I just had a hard head.

Billy came to the door and smiled big when he saw me. "Well hey there Nessie!"

"Hey, Billy." I sniffled. My eyes were still watery.

Billy seemed to process my mood. His smile faded slightly.

"Something wrong?" He asked. From the way he looked he was hoping I wasn't about to have a breakdown.

I whipped away some tears with the back of my hand. "Er…no?" I made it sound like a question. "Is Jake home?"

"Yeah." He smiled relieved that I wasn't going to ask to talk to him about what's wrong. Billy wheeled himself into the house motioning for me to follow. "Jake?" He yelled into the house. =0 D

Jake walked out of his room and down their little hall into the front room where Billy and I were. Jake's face lit up when he saw me. But once his eyes looked over my face his lips went down on the sides.

"Hey, Nessie. How are you?" Jake asked.

I frowned at him and he looked more anxious then before. "Not that great actually."

"Wanna talk?"

"That's sorta why I came."

Jake walked over to me and put an arm around my waist. He looked at Billy. "Were gonna be out for a while then."

Billy smiled at his son. "Good luck."

"Thanks." Jake mumbled as he walked out the door, keeping me at his side. He was silent as we walked toward the beach. I wasn't so silent. The tears that I had been holding back spilled over. They streamed noisily down my face.

When we got to the beach he walked straight to our rock. Well it wasn't actually our rock, but it was where we sat most every day.

Jake sat down on the sand leaning against the rock and reached out to me, pulling me into his arms. I curled up against his chest and the tears came freely now.

Jake let me cry for a while, I wasn't sure how long. He would kiss my head or wipe away some t ears every once and a while.

After some time the silence and crying seemed to be to much for Jake. He turned me to look at him and spoke in a soft voice. "Ness, I cant stand to see you like this." He whipped away another tear.

"I'm…sorry." I stuttered. I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm myself. "Sorry. I didn't want you to see me like that, but I just couldn't be alone."

Jake kissed my head. "That's okay. I'm always here for you. But I still don't know what happened."

"I heard my parents talking about the short conversation we had last night before you left." I told him.

Jake's face brightened with understanding. "Oh. What did they say?" His voice was soft.

I took another deep breath before explaining. "Edward told her how he does love me. Bella said how he has been distant lately and asked him why."

"And he said…"

"He said that it was because he didn't like that you had imprinted on me. How he didn't want you to be with me, because you would hurt me like you hurt my mom. So he kept distance because he didn't want to see when we actually did get together." I could hear my voice getting sadder as I went on.

Jake made an angry noise in the back of his throught. "I cant believe Edward. Cause its my fault Bella was hurt." He shook his head, then looked back at me a bit confused. "But why would that make you so sad?"

"Its not that exactly. It's something else he said." I looked down, getting depressed thinking about it again. My lower lip pouted out a bit.

"What did he say?" Jake asked softly, his eyes searching my face.

"He said he wishes he didn't have a daughter. That it would be easier if I wasn't here." A few last tears escaped from my eyes. Jake whipped them away with his large fingers. Then he growled a growl of pure hate.

"I cant believe he would say that!" Jake roared. I felt his body start to tremble beside me. I shook with him.

I touched his face gently. "Jake. Calm."

He took a few breaths and seemed to calm under my touch. "Yeah. Calm. Sorry."

"It's okay. I understand." Honestly I was a little surprised at his reaction. I hadn't expected him

to react so strongly. He looked furious.

"Jake why do you look like you wanna kill someone?" The evil look in his eyes scared me a little.

"Cause I do wanna kill someone. I wanna kill Edward for saying that. How dare he! You're his daughter! Ugh!"

"Hey now! Don't be talkin' like that. He may not be my favorite person in the world right now, but he's still my dad. Whether he likes it or not." It was still hard to think straight when I had those burning words running through my mind. 'You know, sometimes I just wish I didn't have a daughter. It'd make life so much simpler.'

Jacob hugged me tight against his chest. "I'm so sorry Nessie. I know how hard this must be for you."

I looked up at him. "How can you know? Has Billy ever said he wishes he didn't have a son?"

"No. Alright then… I can imagine how you must be feeling. That better?"

I smiled at him. "Yup."

"I still don't think you should cry. Edward's not worth your tears. I cant stand to see you so sad like this. Tears down your face. Your lip pouted out." He touched my lips with his warm finger. "Besides I can think of something better to do with your lips." He winked at me.

I laughed. Jake always knew how to make me feel better. "Well if you insist.."

Jake laughed to o. "Oh I do." Then his lips were hard on mine. His forced mine open and I could taste his hot breath in my mouth.

I turned my body so that I was seated on his lap. I grabbed a fist full of his hair and pulled him closer to me. This was exactly what I needed. I was pretty sure that was his goal, to make me not think about Edward. And he succeeded. When Jake pulled away I was gasping for air, my head a blank.

Jake chuckled and smiled at me. "Better?"

I smiled back at him. "Yeah. That was just what I needed. Especially after the morning I had. You always know what to do."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

"Aww it wasn't my kissing expertise that make you happy?" He teased.

I blushed and giggled. "A little. It made me wosey, does that make you happy?"

"Yup." He smiled bigger.

The cell phone vibrated in my pocket.

"Ugh." I said as I took it out and looked at the caller ID. "Knew it. It's Edward."

Jake looked at me confused. "Why's he calling?"

"Probably wondering where I am."

"He doesn't know?" He raised a brow at me.

"No... None of them do. I jumped out my window and ran straight here."

Jake gasped. "You what?"

"Jumped out my window." I answered confused.

"Why would you do that? You could have gotten hurt!"

"Psh. I'm a vampire dude."

"You're a half vampire. And the clumsiest person I've ever met… well besides Bella." He winked. Then made a face.

"What?" I asked confused again.

"Wait, Bella and Edward don't know where you are? You didn't tell them?"

"No. I snuck out after I heard them. I told you I jumped out my window."

"Answer your phone Nessie. There worried by now."

"I don't wanna talk to him." I said stubbornly.

"Fine then." He grabbed the phone from my hand and opened it. "What do you want bloodsucker?"

"Jacob? Why are you answering Renesmee's phone?" Edward questioned from the other end.

"Cause she don't wanna talk to you. Stupid Leach."

"Doesn't want to? That's just to bad for her. Give Renesmee the phone."

Jacob laughed one bitter laugh. "I'm not gonna make h er talk to you if she don't wanna."

I sighed. "Just gimme the phone Jake." I held my hand out.

"You sure?" Jake asked uneasily.

"She's sure." Edward stepped in, hearing our exchange.

Jake gave me the phone and frowned slightly.

"Yes, Edward." I said to him.

"Edward?"

"Yes. Edward. What do you want?"

"Don't give me that attitude young lady. You snuck out! Where are you?"

"I'm at the beach with Jake." I rolled my eyes. Where else would I be?

"Get home now we need to talk."

"Oh, now you wanna talk to me. You sure? I mean I know how you wish I wasn't even here. Why not just act like I'm not? Make your life easier right?"

There was a long silence on the other end of the phone. Edward didn't talk, he didn't even breath.

"Bye. Tell mom I'm fine, since she's the only one who cares." I snapped the phone shut and put it back in my pocket.

"W-o-w." Jake said, turning the word into three. He stood up and pulled me with him. "I should bring you home before Edward comes looking for you."

I took a step away and gave him a disapproving look. "You really think I wanna go home?"

"I don't care if you wanna or not. You have to go home Ness."

"No I don't. My own father doesn't want me there."

"And where will you go then?" Jake raised an eyebrow at me.

"I'll stay with you." I smiled then challenged, "Unless you don't want me either."

"Of course I want you Nessie. But I don't think that's the best idea. What about your family? They would all be very sad to loose you. Especially your parents. Think of Bella and Edward! It would break their hearts."

"No it wouldn't. Not my dad atleast. I'm not in his heart."

I looked down, that wasn't pleasant.

"Don't say that. You know your in his heart."

Did I really know that? I knew the answer. No, I didn't know that I was in his heart.

My own heart sunk as I thought it over. My heart was filled with the love I held for my family. Bella and Edward mostly, the took up almost my whole heart. They were the most important people to me. So, yeah I'd say its depressing when one of them says they don't want me. It was a sort of empty feeling. I didn't like it.

My face must have portrayed the sadness I was feeling. Jacob's face became pained and he stepped to me and took me into his big warm arms. I started crying again.

"Shh, Nessie, shh." Jacob crooned over and over again. He stroked my face trying to calm me. "Don't think like that. You are in Edwards heart. You are! He was just being stupid. He was mad at me because we were together. He didn't mean it. He loves you more then you know. Truly he does. That is one thing I am certin of. Please believe me! He really didn't mean it. Edward would never mean that. Ever!"

My breathing quickened and I was on the virge of hyperventilating.

"Nessie you need to calm down. Please calm down. Please?" Jacob begged in a broken voice.

That hurt worse then anything else. Hearing Jake so sad. Myself hurting was one thing, something I would deal with. But not Jake. No, that I couldn't deal with, I couldn't stand for him to be hurt. And right now he was hurt because I was. I didn't want that, not now at least. I didn't want Jake to suffer with me.

I lifted my head from Jakes chest and whipped away the tears. "I'm…Sorry." I sniffled. "I wish you hadn't had to see that. I just kind of lost it." I apologized speaking more clearly.

Jake kissed my lips softly. "Don't be sorry. It's alright, better to let it out then keep it bottles up."

"I guess."

"And hey." He lifted my head back up to look at him for I had looked down again. "You can be like anything with me. You never need to hide anything. You know that right?"

"Yeah, I know that. Why do you think I came here?"

"Well where else would you have gone? You only know your house and La Push."

I gave that to him. "True."

Jake laughed and I joined in.

"But you really should go home now. I bet there freaking out right now."

I sighed. "Do I have to?"

"Yes. Now we can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way." He winked.

I laughed. "Fine. Lets go. I'll have to do this sooner or later."

"That's right. Mind as well get it over with."

"I know. But I don't think you should come."

"Why not?"

"Because there's gonna be yelling and crying and ugh, I just don't want you to be there for that ."

Jacob barked a laugh. "That's stupid. Like I've never seen that."

"Please?" I touched his face and used my dazzling voice. "Please don't come. It would make me unhappy if you came. Do you want me to be more upset?"

Jacob sighed. "Its so hard to refuse when you toy with me like that… Fine. I won't go with you."

"Thank you." I hugged him tight around the waist. Jake lifted my chin up and kissed me softly.

"Good luck Ness." Jake said when he let go. "And try to stay calm."

"You say that like its possible. Bye."

"Call me later? To tell me how it goes."

"I will."

"I love you Nessie."

"You two." I turned and ran into the forest. I was now extremely worried. What would Edward say? He knew that I heard his whole conversation this morning with Bella. I wondered if he regretted what he said. Or if he even felt bad.

I thought that over the rest of the way home. I decided I wasn't sure whether he would feel bad or not.

I got to the edge of the woods and I saw my big house, all lights on.

I walked forward, ready to meet my doom . The second I opened the door Bella ran at me and clutched me close to her chest.

"Renesmee Cullen! How could you do that to me? Don't you EVER do that again!"

"Can't…Breath," I gasped.

Bella released me and smiled embarrassed. "Sorry hun."

"No, mom. I'm sorry."

"You should be. What were you thinking?"

I bit my lip and looked around the room. It was just Bella, Edward and I. Edward was standing a few feet behind Bella, staring at me wordlessly.

"You mean dad didn't tell you?" I asked raising an eyebrow at her. Interesting. I thought. Does that mean you actually regret the things you said? Shocker.

Edward growled before Bella could respond. We both looked at him confused.

"Of course I regret what I said! How could I not?" Edward exploded at me, stepping so that he was next to Bella. The house rattled with the volume his voice was at.

Emmett charged down the stairs. "What was that? Me and Rose were just about to…" He paused and looked at me. "Never mind."

Edward and Bella just glared him.

"Awkward…" Emmett backed slowly out of the room.

I rolled my eyes and looked ba ck at Edward. He looked back at me at the same time. Bella looked back and forth between us with a confused expression.

"I can't believe you would think that." Edward said exasperated.

"Well I can't believe you would even say that!" I shouted at him.

"What are you two yelling about?" Bella screeched, sounding impatient.

"Ask your daughter." Edward said icily.

"Right, her daughter. Cause you don't want me anymore." I mumbled to myself, knowing they could hear me.

Bella cocked her head to the side. "What was that?"

"Nothing. Absolutly nothing." I told her.

"Well one of you tell me please!"

"Go on then. Tell her." Edward commanded.

"Why do I have to?" I asked.

"Because I said so."

"Oh, that's concrete."

The next thing I knew I was between Bella and Edward. Edward lifted my hand -ignoring my struggles- and put it on Bellas cheek.

"Show me what your talking about." Bella said in a much nicer voice. I gave in and showed her. But not because Edward wanted me to, purly for Bella.

I took my hand off her face and frowned at the memory.

Bella gasped. "You heard that?"

"Yeah.."

"I'm so sorry you had to hear that honey."

"Thanks at least you feel bad. But your not the one who said 'You know, sometimes I just wish I didn't have a daughter. It'd make life so much simpler.'" I looked at Edward. "How could you say that? Do you really not want me? I mean if you don't I guess I can go… I'll go stay with Jake. At least he wants me."

"Don't be ridiculous. Like we'd ever let you live with Jacob." Edward said.

Bella shot him a look. "Renesmee you know we love you. Tell her Edward."

I looked at Edward doughtfully.

Edward looked deeply into my eyes and spoke in the kindest voice I'd ever heard. "I am so sorry Renesmee. Words cannot express the regret I feel right now. I can't believe I said that. In all of the years I have been on this earth this is absolutely the worst thing I have ever said. I did not mean the things I said. I was upset over loosing you to Jacob, I was being selfish, I'm always selfish. I wanted you all to myself, to be my little girl forever. But I know that's not going to happen. Your20a beautiful young girl that's growing quickly. Maybe to quickly for my liking." He shook his head. "That's no exuse. I shouldn't have said that. I am so sorry. I will never forgive myself for putting you through that feeling. You should never feel unwanted. You are loved by more people then some other would dream of. Myself being one of them. I love you so much sweety, I don't think you even have a clue at how much. You and your mother are the most important things to me, my only reason for existence. I stay on this world to be here for you. To give you anything you may need. I just hope that you can someday forgive me."

I started to cry. The tears leaking freely from my eyes and I couldn't stop them. I couldn't register the words he just said to me. They were unreal, to sweet. You only heard that kind of thing in books and movies. But I suppose my life is nothing like the real world.

Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "Aww, don't cry. Why are you crying?"

I looked up at him with cloudy eyes. "I love you dad."

Edward pulled me close to his chest and hugged me tight. "I love you too baby. More then you will ever know."

Bella came on my other side and joined in the hug. "I love you both so much."

"I love you mom." I kissed her cheek that was closest to me.

"You know how I feel love." Edward said and they kissed briefly.