Planning Stages

Selphie slept only a few hours before her excitement couldn't be contained anymore. With a grin she threw on a warm shirt and some jeans, the air was chilly this time of year. Selphie gathered her story box, plenty of blank papers, and all sorts of things in her backpack before rushing down the stairs.

"You're up early." Her mother said with a yawn as she went to get her coffee.

"Yup, I gotta go, I'm heading out to the Play Island for a while." Selphie said, making her way towards the dark front door. She nearly tripped on the edge of the blue-grey couch as she ran by. She grabbed her sweater from the coat rack and pulled it on.

"Why are you heading there?"

"I've got some thinking to do and an idea to try out. Love you so much Mom, thanks for the talk last night. I'll see you later, bye!" She said, and with that Selphie zoomed out the door and down the street. Off to the docks to find a boat and row herself out to her childhood hang out.

…

Selphie rowed the boat towards the little island, wishing she had done just a little better in gym. No wonder she always had Tidus do this. It was exhausting.

By the time she had made it to the little island her arms felt like they were going to fall off, but at least she'd made it. She stretched and got out of the boat, glad her backpack hadn't gotten wet.

Selphie smiled, when she was little she had always been a princess on this island, Tidus and Wakka had been her knights. Maybe she could find a little bit of that magic to help build this new plan of hers. This dangerous new idea.

Selphie walked onto the beach and pulled off her shoes, she rolled up her jeans as she dug her toes into the cool sand.

The air was so calm as it blew gently on the waves, she smiled and pulled off her sweater as well. There was so much to think about, so much to decide. She pulled a notebook out of her bag and set it on her knees.

Her writing had always been her greatest, most magical dream, along with her biggest fear. She was terrified of people seeing it, of judging her on it, she was scared they would all say she wasn't good enough.

But she remembered another girl, a different Selphie, one from years ago, who didn't care what anybody thought, so long as what she did made her happy. She remembered a young girl with dreams as endless as the sky. She remembered having wings then. Wings to fly to her dreams with. Why had she let them go?

…

It was sunset now, she had spent hours there with her list, her ideas. The notebook that sat on her knees had been written on, scribbled out, flipped to the next page, and written again.

Her ideas whispered and laughed with her, guided her along until she found the right words to put on her precious papers.

Selphie took in a sharp breath to steady herself. She had a plan, at least the beginning part, and she had a list. If she was really going to go through with this, she'd have to decide it now. There was always the chance it'd fail, that she really would have to go to Medical school. But she couldn't give this up, she had to try.

This plan was destined to succeed, she could feel it.

Selphie closed her grassy green eyes and felt the gentle breeze caress her skin, blowing the hair softly from her face. The sand was grainy and cool beneath her bare toes.

She cherished this place so much, the memories of her and Tidus fighting and racing, Wakka always being referee, the games of being a damsel in distress. But now wasn't the time to be reflecting, now it was time to move forward, to embrace this thing she feared and loved so much, and to go at it with everything she was.

She put all of her items into her bag and slung it over her shoulder as she stood. So this was it. She had a plan, she had a list, and this was what she wanted to do. This was what she needed to do.

"Hey, I thought I was the only one who still came out here." Came a smoky voice, it mingled with the sounds of the ocean waves. Selphie turned abruptly.

"Hi Axel, what are you doing here?"

"I've been in the tree house since about dawn, kind of just wanted to get away from everything. I must've fell asleep up there. What about you?" Axel came and sat down in the sand where she had been a moment ago.

Selphie smiled and plopped down next to him, she laid her bag carefully on the ground as they sat there, staring at the crimson sunset. Crimson like his hair.

"I…" She paused, she knew she could tell Axel anything, but it still felt strange. It felt strange to bring this all out into the open. "I was coming up with a plan."

"A plan? For what?" He asked, he folded his arms behind his head and laid down in the sand, looking up at her with those eyes.

"A plan for the next few months, until school starts. I didn't want to just be stuck here while everyone else was out on some adventure. I wanted to go on an adventure too. So I came up with a list of things I had to complete in the next few months and…" Selphie trailed off, her innocent eyes turning towards the sunset again.

"And?" He prodded, trying to get her to continue.

"And, if I do that, then maybe I won't have to become a doctor after all." Selphie said it so quietly he almost didn't hear it over the sound of the water.

"What do you want to be then, Selph?"

She bit her lip, she had hoped he wouldn't ask. But this was the first item on her list anyways. She had to overcome her fear of people's opinions.

"I want to be a writer."

"I didn't know you liked writing." Axel sat up with a smirk.

"No one did, not really anyways. I've kept it a secret, almost forever. I think the only one who suspected anything was Wakka, cause he was in the writing class with me."

"What do you write?"

"Stories." She said simply, nervous about going on further.

"About?"

Selphie smiled to herself, Axel seen that little spark come back into her eyes. That innocent glow that was sometimes so wise. A grin spread itself over her face and it looked like she was in another world entirely as she started talking.

"About everything. About romance, adventure, mystery, love, about the darkest nights and the most beautiful mornings, about the deepest darkness, and the ultimate light. I write what my heart puts into my head." She paused. "And sometimes, the words don't even seem to come from me…It's like they come from something bigger, something outside me. Something so brilliant and beautiful I can't even tell what it is yet."

"Sounds like you've made up your mind then."

"Huh?"

"I know you Selph, if you love something that much, you'll go out and get it. I guarantee you'll make it too." Axel grinned brightly, his lively eyes caught the last trace of sunlight, making them look even more magical.

"But what if I don't?" Her voice had lost that brave, wondrous tone from earlier, and now she stared down at the sand. Her eyes dull after coming back to the real world.

"You will."

"But wha-"

"No!" Selphie jumped as his voice raised. "You will, I know you can do this, have the courage to believe that you can." He bit his lip and entwined his fingers with hers, she blushed slightly, making him smirk. She had always had a crush on him, it'd been obvious since the beginning. But he didn't want to put her through that, didn't want to break her heart by mistake. She didn't need to be held down by him, she had to be free, she had to be able to fly. Maybe one day this would work. But for now…He'd settle for this.

Selphie gave him one of her sunlight grins and looked down at their hands, the pink blush still on her cheeks. He closed his eyes with a sigh, he knew what he wanted to do, but he couldn't. Not yet. He had to wait, if he kissed her she'd for sure think that they were a couple.

"Axel?" She said, turning her gaze back to the sky, the first stars were peaking out from behind the purple curtain that was slowly turning black.

"Hmm?"

"Thanks, for believing in me."

"Not a problem, just doing my job."

She giggled and shoved his arm with her shoulder lightly. With a nervous glance upwards at him, she leaned against his shoulder, watching the sun set. She felt the waves lap at her feet. The silence then was beautiful, it held so many unspoken secrets, so many promises of what was to come. Axel smiled to himself and rested his head against hers. He could settle for this.

…

Axel had volunteered to row Selphie back to the island, he towed his boat behind hers as they made their way home. She looked up at the countless stars, so many thoughts and ideas lingering in her mind.

Now instead of being left behind, she would be carving her own way, her own path in this world of hers. Now the hardest part remained…Telling her parents.

…

"You can't be serious!" Her father exclaimed. He was sitting with her mother on the blue-grey couch as Selphie made her proposition. She stood in front of them, fingertips pushed together nervously.

"Daddy, just hear me out, this won't interfere at all with my Medical School stuff, I can still go. I just wanted to have…" She trailed off nervously.

"An adventure." Her mother finished for her firmly, giving her father that arched eyebrow look that meant he should agree with her.

"Exactly, and it's not like I'm ditching on school…I just wanted to see if I…"

"If you could what?" He said, trying not to snap. Why couldn't she just see that he wanted what was best for her? Selphie looked up, strong resolve in her green eyes, oh dear, she had gotten that side of her mother.

"I wanted to see if I really could be a writer. If I'm any good at it."

"Your fine at it, I'm sure, but that's not the sort of profession for you-"

"How do you know?" Selphie didn't mean to snap, but her father had always discouraged her from her ideas. When she was seven and wanted to be a ballerina he said athletes have a very short career, too short. When she was ten and wanted to be a singer he said the industry was too rough for her, and now all he wanted was this ridiculous medical school dream. "Newsflash Dad, I don't want to be a doctor!" She said and stomped up to her room, leaving her parents alone to talk.

This morning she had had wings, her father had successfully plucked them off. Why didn't he understand? She didn't want an ordinary life, and sure doctors were respected, but she couldn't stand hospitals with that too clean smell and sick feeling. That's not what she loved, not what she wanted at all.

Her mother understood, she no doubt agreed with Selphie. They usually agreed on everything. Selphie could always tell her mother everything, and her mother would always understand. But her father…He'd never understood. He was completely blank when it came to teenage girls, when she went on her first date he had nearly interrogated the poor kid who was going out with her. Sure he was just being protective, but this was going too far.

After a few minutes she could just barely hear her parents voices from the living room, her mother had that defiant tone of voice that Selphie loved so much. She was arguing Selphie's case!

Maybe her dad would except the idea after he seen the merit in it, and that it really wouldn't mess up her medical school plans. After nearly twenty minutes of just laying on her bed, contemplating all this, she heard footsteps approaching her door.

She sat up abruptly, green eyes wide with hope and just a little bit of fear that the plan was over before it had even begun. Selphie bit her lip as her mother walked inside and softly shut Selphie's door behind her.

Why did she look so sad? So disappointed? Had he really said no?

"Selphie…" Her mother took a seat and grabbed her daughters hands. She looked at her with a few tears in her deep brown eyes. "Go for it. Make us proud, and show this world what your really made of."

Selphie's eyes welled up with tears and she took in a sharp breath. She wrapped her arms around her mother tightly and grinned. This couldn't be happening, was it really this easy?

"There's still a lot to plan, a lot to decide before you do all this, but you have the okay from your father. So long as you provide as much as possible for yourself. He wants to see that your ready to leave the nest. But if there's any trouble-"

"I know Mom, I'll call you, I promise." Selphie smiled. A few more tears slipped from her mothers eyes as she looked at her little girl, who was so grown up now. She could only hope and pray that she had raised her right and that Selphie had taken all of her words of wisdom to heart. Now it was time to let go and let her daughter find her dreams, just like she had found hers.

"Where's the first destination?" Her mother asked, with a sad smile.

"Twilight Town." Selphie said, her voice firm and overflowing with joy. She couldn't believe all of this. This was just the beginning of her dream, sure, but at least it had a beginning. She didn't think it would at all.

Her mother left the room, a few tears still fresh in her warm eyes, and left Selphie to finish her plans. She felt insane for letting her daughter do this, but she knew, with all her heart, that Selphie was ready for this. She could do this.

Selphie stood from her bed and looked at her full length mirror. As a child she had looked at it so many times and imagined a princess looking back at her.

With a bright smile Selphie turned and looked at herself in the mirror, so different from that child of so long ago. But maybe she could have just a little of her back, just enough to keep the magic alive while remaining mature.

…

The next few days passed in a blur, there were so many preparations, so many plans to be made. Selphie had enough money saved to handle the first leg of her trip, from there she'd have to rely on odd jobs. It was so exciting and frightening she could hardly breathe. This was it. She was going to fly.

Her mother was there with her, helping her to plan everything, pointing out little things that she had overlooked. Selphie had never been more grateful for her mom than those late nights and early mornings. Her father seemed different, distant, like he didn't approve of this at all. Like he expected Selphie to fail. She wouldn't. She couldn't, this was a real chance at the life she wanted. Maybe if she succeeded he'd see that.

No one knew, except for Axel of course, that she was planning anything at all. They just thought that she was going through another of those phases where she just didn't want to hang out with anybody. She couldn't wait to tell everyone. While they were making their announcements at the graduation party, that's when she'd tell them the news. She felt like she couldn't breathe when she thought of that. What would they think?

Selphie shook her head. Now wasn't the time to think about stuff like that.

She had spent all week, working out plans, earning extra money working for Aerith, and figuring out just what she should wear.

Before long, the plans had been made, the list's written, re-written, and then written again. Her plans had been made, traveling arrangements all finished, and the big day had arrived.

It was finally Saturday, she couldn't believe how fast everything had happened, last week she had been moping about thinking she would be all alone, and now she was striking out to find her way. She was graduating High School!