Disclaimer: Richell Mead owns Vampire Academy and the characters.
It's been a while since I last updated, I am so sorry about that, I have NO excuse, I just don't like posting Author notes and I couldn't find the drive to update….I can't make promises that I will regularly update BUT I will try.
RPOV (Rose)
It was harder than I thought being in the car with Dimitri, he smelt so amazing and he was still so incredibly handsome. Why! Why! Couldn't he love me, he actually managed to find happiness with Tasha only to have her betray him. I still couldn't believe it, that I risked so much for him and he ends up with Tasha , she did nothing to get him back and she ends up with him….life was so unfair.
But I feel like I got the best part of him, even if I couldn't have him and he didn't love me anymore, at least I had his children. And I love my babies so much, everyday looking at them reminds me of Dimitri, especially Jacob, who looks so much like his Daddy, even Olena and Babushka agree, they say "he looks just like Dimka when he was a baby". Alisa looks a bit like her Daddy, but more me.
This was crazy I couldn't just sit in the car and not talk to him and I could see that he wanted to desperately talk to me as well, he was fidgeting and he kept opening and closing his mouth wanting to say something knowing all too well that I didn't want to talk to him.
"Alright Dimitri, we can talk…. there are some things that I need to discuss with you, there was a reason why I went to the church and believe me it wasn't to see you get married and wish you and Tasha congratulations…...that's the last thing I wanted to do. You have no idea how hard it was for me to be there and see you finally happy….and wish in my heart that that was me."
By this stage I felt a tear run down my cheek, I had no idea that I was crying and then to have Dimitri lean forward to wipe it away and then he sat back in his seat, he looked at my hand that was in my lap and he went to reach for it, but I put it back on the steering wheel. I saw him close his eyes with regret, feeling my rejection.
"Roza?" there is something I need to talk to you about as well, you have no idea how badly I have wanted to talk to you, the day you left….was the worst day of my life, I know… I had hurt you so badly and the way I treated you was unforgivable, I was raised better than that, I was taught to respect women…not treat them like blood whores…that was my father, not me" he leaned his head down, like he was so ashamed to look at me, even though it was hard for us to look at each other with me driving, but we still managed to glimpse at each other every now and then.
"I risked everything for you Dimitri, I forgave you for what happened when you were Strigoi and I know you found it hard to forgive yourself…but I felt like you were punishing me for loving you, when you were restored, you opened your arms to Lisa…not me….Lisa, your saint. My heart was so broken; I wanted to be the one to comfort you." By this stage I was shaking and tears were running down my cheeks, Dimitri looked panicked and pained, pained from my confession and panicked because I was behind the wheel and the car was swaying every now and them.
"I know I was weak and your ashamed and repulsed by me, I wish I was strong enough to fight you when you fed on me, but if that was your way of expressing your love…to dominate me and weaken me, wait for my decision on whether I was willing to be awakened by you…I forgave you for that, you were a 'Strigoi'…but you still gave me a choice and that showed that you loved me enough to not force me…I…I. loved you so much and you punished me for loving you….by rejecting me." I was hiccupping and my head felt like it was swirling, I felt giddy.
Alisa kept me up most of the night screaming, we all tried to settle her down, but in the end I had to hold her tight to me and sing her a Russian lullaby that her Daddy taught me, that he used to sing to me to calm me down.
I was surprised that Olena or even Babushka didn't try to sing it to her, but they couldn't settle her enough to try, she fought them all the way, but when Alisa finally stopped squirming in my arms I started the lullaby and she finally quietened, I had no idea why she was so upset, she wasn't hungry or wet, WHY was she screaming like that?…but I was beat and seriously sleep deprived and I needed to get to the Wedding the next day so I had no chance to catch up on the sleep I lost.
"Roza sweetheart…please pull over on the side of the road and let me drive?" he looked frantic and I also saw sorrow and love in his eyes…did he still love me or was it pity, because I sure as hell looked pathetic at the moment. "Please Roza?... I promise that we will have our time to talk, but right now if you can manage it and I will help you move the car to the side of the road" he grabbed the steering wheel with me and helped me steer the car to the curb.
My hands were shaking and Dimitri had one hand on the steering wheel and his other hand was stroking my hand to try and calm me down. "Ease your foot on the break Roza…that's it, that's a girl" I was crying my heart out. "Shh Roza,.. calm down.. .breath". I took short breaths, but that was only making me even more dizzier, I was going to pass out behind the wheel at this rate, I just couldn't seem to control my breathing.
I felt that jolt of electricity every time he touched me, the special tingle or sensation we would get when we touched each other and this time it was so strong it took my breath away, which was not helping my situation, but it was calming. I'm pretty sure he felt it as well, because he gasped when he touched me at the same time I did.
We had finally got the car to the curb, I put my foot on the brake while he put the car in park and then he pulled the handbrake up. Dimitri jumped out of his seat opening his door and running around outside to my door, when he finally got my door open I was crying so hard with my head on the steering wheel. "Shh Roza…calm down love, take deep long breaths, just relax." I tried, but it was so hard, it's like everything that was bottled up finally came to a head and I couldn't stop.
He lifted me in his arms out of the driver's seat and kissed my head, I felt him taking in a deep breath, taking in the smell of my hair, the strawberry coconut shampoo smell that he always complimented me on.
I had my face pressed under his chin into his neck sobbing my heart out drenching his shirt and I was taking comfort in his warmth and his smell. Then Dimitri kissed my cheek and muttered something in Russian, he didn't know that I was learning the language, I wanted the twins to learn when they were old enough… he said…"forgive me" in 'Russian' and then he opened up the back door of the car and placed me down on one of the seats that didn't have a baby capsule on it.
He put on my seat belt and lowered the seat back while stroking my hair. "Shh…just relax Roza." I was still crying, he kissed my forehead again and then closed the door. He could have put me in the passenger seat and lowered it down, but I think he didn't want the guard at the Academy seeing me in that state. He hopped into the driver's seat and proceeded to drive to the Academy.
DPOV (Dimitri)
My poor Roza, what have I done, I hated seeing her like this it was my entire fault; I had screwed up so badly. I remember that morning like it was yesterday the way I had treated her, the look on her face as I verbally attacked her.
I was so ashamed of myself, by the time I had realised my actions…it was too late… she was long gone and nobody would tell me where she was. I had asked Alberta, Hans, Adrian….shit even her mother…nothing, I always came to a dead end and they looked at me like they hated my guts, I didn't blame them, I hated me too.
I had to tell Roza why I was Marrying Tasha and it wasn't out of love, well not the love she wanted from me, it was out of convenience, more like she scratches my back and I scratch her's, a simple arrangement that would end up suiting both of us in the long run…..well that was the plan.
But if I wasn't such a jackass, I could have gone to Alberta first and she would have helped me, even though she was angry at how I had treated Rose, she still considered me an excellent Guardian, one of the best. I had sacrificed my soul to save the kidnapped Mori and Guardians that were taken from the attack on the Academy. That sacrifice was grained into us as Guardians….we would either be awakened or killed.
But I just assumed like everyone else that I never had a chance in hell at being a Guardian again, the Moroi were worried that Lisa's spirit would wear off and I would be Strigoi again and kill, so I was constantly being tested like a lab rat…it drove me crazy being poked and prodded.
But Alberta said that they didn't feel that way, Lisa was a hero for saving me and I was a loyal servant to the Moroi for sacrificing myself to save them and that I deserved a second chance. But I had already committed myself to the agreement with Tasha and I couldn't go back on that, I was a man of my word and she had pleaded me, how could I let her down….she had been my friend for years and she needed my help.
I had to listen to Rose cry her heart out on the drive back to the Academy, It was killing me. All I wanted to do was pull over and take her in my arms and calm her, but it was getting late and it was never a good idea to be on the road at nightfall. She soon calmed and drifted off to sleep…how did I know that, I was constantly checking on her through the rear view mirror and she looked so broken and exhausted…she was still so stunningly beautiful, even more than last time.
I had seen her and her …breasts….shit …they were HUGE…oh yes! I had noticed, how could I have not, she was wearing a very tight fitting dress, it showed off her spectacular curves on her sexy body and had a plugging front to her dress that showed a lot of her massive cleavage….she was a lot bigger in the bust since the last time I had seen her and she had always had big boobs.
Just thinking about her breasts and her sexy body was giving me a ragging hard on, I had to keep squirming in my seat and adjusting my slacks. I was pretty large in that area, so my massive erection was killing me, I needed to think of something else to get rid of it and fast.
So as much as I didn't want to I started to think of my days as a Strigoi and taking the lives of innocent people….that pretty much did it. Rose doesn't, infact a lot of people close to me don't know but I still have dark thoughts about being a Strigoi, I wake up covered in sweat, I nearly killed myself….sleeping pills, I took too many and woke up two days later.
I was trying to block out the nightmares that plague me every night. Yes I was given a second chance, but nobody is aware of the baggage that I carried when being restored back to Damphir…the disgust, grief, anger at being awakened against my will, the suffering, there are so many emotions to name and I carry then all. I feel guilty that I have a second chance…I don't deserve it, I killed and I was a monster and the way I treated Roza…that is unforgivable….but I guess I was more of a monster to her as a Damphir than a Strigoi.
I had finally made it to the Academy, the Guard let me in no questions asked and I was now parking Roza's car in the driveway of my apartment that I was to share with Tasha….oh joy, yeah like that's going to happen. The first chance I get I will be moving out to the Guardian quarters, these apartments are really for families and couples anyway and I did not fall into the category. The sooner I am out of here and out of Tasha's way the better.
I got out of the car and ran up the porch to open the door to the apartment, then I went back to the car to get my sleeping beauty…she may not be happy with the idea, but she is exhausted and she could do with the sleep. We have a lot to talk about we may not get to it now, for all I know she could wake up and run straight out of the apartment and I would never see her again.
But I was not prepared to see her run from my life again….for the first time, I need her and I am not going to let her go, I am going to fight for her and give her the attention and love I should of given her when I was restored.
I made my way to the car and went to grab Roza, she was totally out of it and she looked so beautiful when she was asleep, just like an angel. I picked her up carefully, she stirred a bit..
She smelt so incredible and I kept looking at her plump full lips while I was carrying her up to my room and wanting to kiss them….to taste them again. Oh shit! I am starting to get an erection again.
The last time Roza and I had been intimate…it was ruff animalistic sex, we devoured each others bodies, I feasted on her like she was the forbidden fruit and I couldn't get enough…she tasted amazing and she in turn got her taste of me, she gave me the most amazing blow job. I remember her hot mouth around my hard cock sucking it and it throbbing in her mouth coming to its release and she took every bit of my semen and released my cock from her mouth with a popping sound….that night was amazing…till the next day and I had ruined everything, destroyed her, used her….I felt ashamed and disgusted in myself.
I carefully lowered her on my unmade bed; I had been busy getting ready for the Wedding that I had neglected to make it. Then I covered her with the blanket and leaned down and kissed her plump lips, they tasted amazing and they were so soft. She didn't stir when I had done that, as I thought she would. I felt the electricity that passed through my body when my lips came in contact with hers and it sent a tingle straight to my growing member and at that moment…looking at her huge breast, I just wanted to rip her clothes of and make deep passionate love to her….a man can dream.
I took another look at my Roza before I closed the door "I love you my beautiful Roza" I said before I closed my bedroom door. I made my way down to the kitchen and grabbed the phone and called Alberta. I had asked her if I could move into the Guardian quarters and she didn't question me, she actually paused for a minute and said that she understood…what ever that meant. I also told her that Rose was at my apartment, she actually gasped and again not asked why she was there, she told me that she would be in her office doing paper work or could be contacted on her mobile when Rose was able to see her. I thanked her and said goodbye….
I was just making myself a coffee, not really having the stomach to eat anything, when there was loud knocking coming from the front door, I cursed who ever it was to keep it down otherwise they were going to wake up a very angry Hathaway and that's not a wise move. I raced to the front door and as I was getting near it I could hear a baby's cries…or screams, the baby sounded in distress. I yanked open the door to find out who the hell was there and what they wanted. And what I found shocked the hell out of me.
I was standing there in shock, I didn't know what to say, my body just froze. "Babushka…what…what… I couldn't seem to get the words out of my mouth.
She just rolled her eyes…. she had a baby in her arms that was very upset and thrashing and screaming "Stop you're stuttering grandson and take your daughter, she needs her Papa." What did she just say? My daughter? Has she completely lost it and how did she know that I was a Damphir again or even where I lived and WHAT THE HELL IS SHE TALKING ABOUT.
"MY WHAT?" I yelled as she handed the baby to me and the baby stopped crying and latched onto my shirt holding on for dear life and nuzzling her tiny head into the crook of my neck, she was hiccupping and I could feel the heat of her cheeks on my skin and the wetness of her tears. She was a very beautiful baby and so tiny, she looked like a new born and she smelt like talcum powder and lavender.
I heard a gasp and turned around and there was Roza standing at the bottom of the staircase looking at the baby in my arms and tears running down her face, then she turned her look to my grandmother. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HEAR BABUSHKA?" Roza yelled. She called my grandmother 'Babushka' am I missingsomething hearsince when does Roza refer to my grandmother like that, but my grandmother shrugged her shoulders and just smirked at Roza.
"Can someone ...Please… explain to me what the hell is going on and why Babushka is here and who is this baby that I am holding in my arms"? I tried not to yell while I was holding the baby, the last thing I wanted to do was upset this beautiful little angel in my arms.
Roza took her eyes away from Babushka and simply said "She's your daughter…congratulations you're a Father" she said so quickly, my jaw just dropped and I stood there frozen, then I looked at the baby who had fallen asleep in my arms and I looked back at Roza.
And in a whisper of a voice I said … "I'm… a… what"?
* Till next time everyone…why was Alisa upset and needed her Daddy? How will Dimitri take the news of being a Father and he still doesn't know that he is a Father to twins yet. Rose is mature in my story, I am not a fan of her having outbursts and childish tantrums, I feel that she is a Mother now and she has grown out of that….she just wants to make a life for her children and hopes that Dimitri will be part of that…Deliciouse.x