It's almost Christmas and Victor is a damn mess, but what else is new? These are just the kinds of antics Yuuri's become used to. Rated T. [Humour] [Romance] [Family]
Oh no.
Oh God.
Oh no no no no!
He's crying.
Why is he crying?!
Hmm.. Actually, that's a bad place to start the story. Let's go back a few hours.
This story takes place before Yuuri and Victor were married and adopted their future daughter, so the two of them live together as boyfriends in their small home with only their canine pal, Maccachin, to take care of. They were discussing the idea of marriage and the two were both reasonably sure that it was likely to happen one day or another, but there were a lot of things they needed to work out before then in terms of logistics. What kind of wedding would they want to have? How much money would it cost? Would they be married in Japan or Russia and whose family would need to be flown in? The obstacles between the couple and holy matrimony were mostly things of that sort rather than either party just not being emotionally ready for the commitment.
Another thing Victor and Yuuri were pretty certain about was that they wanted to be fathers. Yuuri found, however, that he had a little more patience for this than Victor. Yuuri understood that it would take them a while to get to a place where it was feasible and responsible to adopt children. He has always been the more practical one after all. Victor understood this too, but his nonexistent barren womb just seemed to be calling out to him louder than Yuuri's was to him. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that he would hit thirty before Yuuri would... Either way, Victor was itching for fatherhood and it really showed in the way he had started acting around the Nishigori triplets. The three little girls seemed to have really grown on him since he permanently moved to Hasetsu. During the colder months, Victor would take them out to the skating rink and comfort them when they fell on the ice and buy them hot chocolate to make them feel better. The spring and summertime meant picnics under the cherry blossoms and ice cream and other fun warm weather activities. The first time the girls started calling him Victor-occhan, he just about teared up, the big goof. He also bought them another round of ice cream. Needless to say, he'd fallen in love with little Axel, Loop, and Lutz, like a mama bird falls for her hatchlings. Their real parents thought it was incredibly sweet.
Now that you have some background, let's get to the plot. That Yuletide evening had started out pretty normal in the Katsuki-Nikiforov house. Tooru Oikawa, who was good friend of theirs, was holding an ugly Christmas sweater party at his residence and Yuuri and Victor were all ready to go. The couple had created their own ugly sweaters that year – Yuuri's covered in LED Christmas lights and Victor's looking like he'd killed and skinned The Grinch. The party was walking distance from their own dwelling, which Yuuri would be thankful for later on in the night. The celebration itself was fun and everyone had a blast, most of all Victor who'd chugged an entire carton of eggnog just to prove he could.
That's when the fuckshit truly began.
Yuuri told him over, and over, and over again...
"Vicchan, don't get too drunk. You know you're messy when you're drunk."
That was earlier when they were getting ready to go. Victor laughed the way he always did and waved his hand in front of his face dismissively. "I'll be fine! Don't worry, mom, I'll be responsible, okay?"
But that was then and this was now and Victor had chugged an entire carton of eggnog just because Tooru bet he couldn't. From somewhere in the crowd, Yuuri suddenly appeared and grabbed Victor by the elbow just as he was gloating in his victory.
"H-hey!" yelped the Russian man as he was taken from his audience. Victor did love the entertain...
"Damn it, Vicchan! You said you wouldn't get drunk!" Yuuri scolded him once they had gotten to a rather quiet place by the punch.
"Aw, Yuuri," Victor replied, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend's waist and pulling him close. "Come on, I'm not drunk."
To anyone else, he would seem pretty sober, but Yuuri knew better. After knowing Victor for as long as he did, he could tell. In fact, Yuuri had developed a scale in his head just to measure how drunk Victor was because it was the only way he knew how to deal with him. The Victor Drunkness Level System, or VDLS (pronounced "vitals"), as he called it. This way, Yuuri could predict Victor's behaviour and intervene when necessary – stop him before he committed a misdemeanour. Right now, Victor was at about a Level 1 on the VDLS – not too bad. Drunk enough to want to make some bad decisions, but also sober enough to resist such urges.
Yuuri sighed, a little frustrated. "Okay, whatever. Look, I'm gonna get you some water. You just stay here, okay?"
"Of course, my love!" Victor grinned with his signature heart-shaped smile. Yuuri only offered a crooked smile in return before he ran off to the kitchen. Maybe Victor would sober up faster if he had something to flush the eggnog out of his system. It might have been a good idea if not for one mistake on Yuuri's part, which he'd only realized when he'd come back, tall glass of water in hand, to an empty corner. Yuuri quickly glanced around him and found his boyfriend was nowhere in sight.
"V-Victor?! Where are you?"
Just then, a pair of people came up from behind him. "Yuuri!" called the man.
Yuuri turned around to find Makoto and Gou looking quite frantic as they approached him. They were both panting and looked exhausted. Makoto was leaning with his hands on his slightly bent knees to catch his breath while Gou pressed her hand over her heart pounding in her chest as she too gasped for air. "Hey, Makoto, Gou... Why do you look like you've been running?"
"We're looking for Haru," the man named Makoto explained. "Have you seen him?"
"We think he might be trying to figure out a way to defrost Tooru's pool," Gou chimed in between breaths.
The dark haired man shook his head slowly. "No, sorry. I haven't seen him... Have either of you seen Vicchan by any chance?"
Makoto stood up then, his athletic body better able than Gou's to recover quickly. He pointed at another corner of the room, but he was a good head taller than either Yuuri or the young woman with them, so it was harder for the other two to see where he was pointing. "Isn't that him doing shots with Rin there?"
Yuuri nearly dropped the glass right there. "WHAT?!"
Knowing there was a possibility he might drop it in his haste and leave shattered glass everywhere, he placed the water onto the nearby table and hurried through the crowd without saying a word more to either Gou or Makoto. Yuuri damn near sprinted in the direction the he been pointed in, nearly knocking over poor Kuroko along the way (and of course yelling his apologies over his shoulder). He had told Victor to stay put and not drink too much and he was doing the exact opposite of those two things instead! Yuuri finally crossed to the other end of the party without any major incidents and indeed found his boyfriend and the red-haired shark-like man downing shots of raspberry vodka and then laughing their asses off about it.
"VICTOR!" Yuuri shouted, his voice echoing over Rocking Around the Christmas Tree.
A drunken Rin nearly jumped out of his seat at the sudden loud noise while Victor drunkenly tried to hide the empty shot glasses behind his arm. "Uh oh, my boyfriend's here," he muttered to Rin with his hand in front of his face as if no one else could hear him. Victor then waved gleefully with the hand that wasn't trying to block the evidence. "Hi~, Yuuri!"
The shorter man only scowled at the taller as he approached. Victor had skyrocketed already to about a Level 4 – Will definitely make bad decisions, needs to be watched carefully, also prone to (public) nudity. The alcohol had caused Victor's entire pale face to flush, but a lot of the redness was concentrated in the tips of his ears and nose. It made him look like his nose was glowing in the middle of his face, but that wasn't about to stop him. A familiar sexy look washed over the Russian man's reddened face – the same one he'd first showed Yuuri how to do during his Eros routine – and he began to use his deeper, sensual voice. Maybe a little sex appeal would fix his lover's sour face.
"What's a fiiiine man like you doing in a place like this?" Victor asked flirtatiously, slurring just a little, before being cut off by a loud, totally unsexy belch that made his entire body rock forward. Rin beside him burst out laughing at the display as Victor tried to recover. He only giggled under Yuuri's stern glare before his boyfriend scooped him up yet again.
"Nothing more to drink, Victor," said the younger skater as he dragged Victor toward Tooru. "We're going home."
"Whaaaat? Nyeeeet, Yuuri~!" Victor slurred from behind him. The couple walked past Haruki Bando, who was just delivering a round of gin and tonics to his friends on a tray, until the objectively Messy Drunk Victor stole one of the drinks and downed the whole thing before Haruki could even pass them. Luckily for him, Yuuri didn't see that little stunt which has just pushed him just over the edge of Level 4 and into straight into Level 5, even though he left poor Haruki watching their backs and wondering if he'd really just seen what he thought he saw.
After saying good night to Tooru, Yuuri has to all but drag Victor home. Luckily, Haruka had pretty much gotten himself kicked out after his little stunt, so his friends decided it was time for them to leave as well. Besides, Rin was completely wasted thanks to a certain Russian man and he's barfy when he's wasted, so it was best if all went home. Nagisa and Rei just happened to be heading in the same direction as Yuuri and Victor and they were nice enough to help Yuuri drag his boyfriend along to their small house. Once they were gone, Yuuri was left to pull a swaying Victor into their living room area, manoeuvre around Maccachin jumping on them in his little excited greeting, and sit the intoxicated Russian down in a comfortable spot. Now, he had to figure out how to get Victor into bed. Yuuri tried a few methods but ended up making a trail of M&Ms, Victor's favourite cheat food aside from katsudon, leading upstairs and into their shared bed. More willing to eat M&Ms off the floor in his drunken state, Victor followed the trail straight into the bedroom, and it was easier to get him to strip to his black briefs than it had been to get him there, but once in bed, Victor just sat there instead of laying down.
"Come on, Vicchan" Yuuri said, gently pushing his boyfriend to lay in bed and pulling the covers over him. "It's probably best that you sleep this off... You're gonna be so hung-over tomorrow..."
"I'm not tired," Victor grumbled, letting himself be pushed into bed anyway as he still chewed on the last M&M. His face was still red and his nose still glowing.
Yuuri sighed. "You're so hard-headed... You really never listen to what anyone says, do you?" He was beginning to see why Yakov had so much trouble with him.
The man whose hair was the colour of storm clouds grinned. "I'm a reeeebel, sweetheart~!"
"Uh huh," said Yuuri bluntly as he got into the queen sized bed himself. He shut off the lamp and plunged the room into a comforting darkness. "Good night, Victor."
"Good night you, sssEXXY PIECE OF MAN YOU," Victor slurred back and then giggled to himself.
And with that, thus ended a night of chaos and fun for Yuuri and Victor...
Okay, no. I mean, that's what Yuuri thought, but then...
"Hey, Yuuri?"
"Yes?"
"I want kids. We should totesssss have sex like right now."
Yuuri laughed softly. "Neither of us can get pregnant, Vicchan." I wouldn't have sex with you while you were like this anyway, to be honest...
Victor gasped in realization. "SHIT, I forgot! Aw man..."
There was silence for a while then as Yuuri closed his eyes and tried to get to sleep.
"What are we gunna doooo then?" asked Victor in a drunken panic. "How are we gunna be dads and do dad stuff like tell bad jokes?"
Yuuri sighed. He actually was quite tired and still a little annoyed at his lover for getting so drunk in the first place. "I dunno. I guess we'll adopt or something. We can talk about it in the morning."
"Can we adopt the triplets?"
"No... I don't think Yuuko and Takeshi would like that too much."
"What about Yurio?"
Yuuri snorted softly. Okay, the idea of even proposing that idea to the angsty Russian teen was a little funny.
"No, I'm pretty sure he'd hate us for even suggesting it."
Victor sighed, groaned a bit in disappointment, and then, he was quiet. Finally, thought Yuuri as he began to drift into dreamla-
"Do ya think the triplets believe in Santa?" Victor slurred as he whispered into the dark.
Yuuri's tired eyes opened once again. He was sleepy and annoyed, but his voice was still gentle. "I don't know, Vicchan. Go to sleep."
A smile crossed Victor's face even though his bedmate couldn't see it. "I bet they're aaaaalllll snuggled up right now, dreaming about Santa Claus coming down their chim-i-ney and leaving gifts for them... Oooooh, they're so cute!" He kicked his feet cheerfully underneath the blanket the emphasize that last sentence.
Yuuri didn't bother answering this time. He figured maybe then, Victor would take the hint, but a minute later, his boyfriend had violently shot up in bed. Surprised by the sudden gesture, Yuuri got up himself and turned on the lamp on his side. He looked at the other man's still blushing face and saw horror painted all over it. Now he was worried.
"Vicchan, what is it?!" asked Yuuri.
"Yuuri..." Victor said in a small voice, his blue eyes wide and in stark contrast with his sanguine skin. "Santa isn't real."
... Are you kidding me?! Yuuri's expression fell and he sat there, blinking at the Russian man beside him. Here Yuuri was, genuinely worried about him, and he was just being silly again. "... Yes... Vicchan... I know..."
"He's no' real! D'you know what dis meansss?!"
"... No..."
"No one's gunna deliver the triplets' presents tahnight!" Victor squealed, running his fingers through his white hair desperately.
"Vicchan, it's not even Christmas Eve," Yuuri tried to explain to the panicked drunk. "Look, it'll be fine. It-"
Yuuri stopped suddenly. Had he actually seen what he thought he saw? No, it couldn't be... Could it? There was one and then another. So he wasn't seeing things! Tears, real actual tears, made there way down Victor's blushing cheeks as his blue eyes overflowed with them. For a minute, Yuuri could only stare in a mixture of real concern and disbelief.
Oh no.
Oh God.
Oh no no no no!
He's crying.
Why is he crying?!
"V-Vicchan...!" Yuuri said and instinctively reached out to pull the sobbing man closer. In all likelihood, this display as 100% due to the alcohol which was still flowing through Victor's system, but Yuuri couldn't stand the idea of Victor being so upset that he'd been moved to tears no matter what the reason was. He wanted to protect him from anything that would cause him to feel unhappy, so Yuuri cradled the drunk Russian man in his arms as if he weren't just annoyed with his silly banter only a second ago.
"I-I'm sorryyyy," Victor whispered, his words still seeming to melt together. "I jus' wan' the triplets to be happy on Christmets." Apparently, saying the words triplets and Christmas in the same sentence was a bit of a tongue twister for him right now, but Yuuri paid no mind to that.
"I know," said Yuuri, much more sympathetically than before as he rubbed circles onto Victor's bare back. "Let's try to get some rest, okay?"
That night, Victor was the little spoon even though he was usually the big spoon, but Yuuri thought he needed to be cuddled right now, so he rested his head against the older man's shoulder as they both drifted into a peaceful sleep.
-/-/-/-
Yuuri woke up abruptly in the middle of the night at about 3am to find his little spoon was missing. He looked about the room in the dark, tired eyes finding no one there except Maccachin at the foot of the bed. There was still the possibility that the Russian man had just gone to the washroom, so Yuuri waited for about five to ten minutes for his boyfriend to return. Ten minutes came, and ten minutes went, but still, Victor hadn't return. Where the hell had that man gone off to?
Yuuri swung his feet over the edge of the bed, attracting his canine friend's attention as he did, and padded along the floor toward the open bedroom door which he had definitely closed when they first went to bed that night.
"Vicchan?" he half whispered as he entered the hallway and saw the lights on downstairs. Curiously, Yuuri made his way down the steps and searched for the white haired man. "Vicchan, where are you?"
He heard someone whisper "shit", before quickly heading out the door. Much more alert now, Yuuri ran to the front and looked out the window to find Victor, wearing his grey tracksuit and his winter jacket, running from the house and nearly slipping on the slightly icy sidewalk. "VICCHAN!" Yuuri called out, now frantically putting on his own heavy coat over his pajamas.
Once he had finally gotten the infernal zipper to zip up, he headed out the door after his boyfriend, making sure to lock it behind him. Once Yuuri reached the sidewalk, he saw his lover clumsily running away, clearly still drunk from earlier. The Japanese man braced himself and bounded after him, much more careful than the Russian man to avoid patches of ice. "Vicchan, what the fuck?!"
"GO HOME, YUURI!" Victor called over his shoulder, his red nose still visible in the winter night. "THERE'S SOMETHING I HAVE TO DO!"
But Yuuri wasn't about to turn around and leave – not when Victor was running about the way he was. Chances were, Victor would have been escorted home by police after having done some kind of Nikiforov brand fuckshit and Yuuri couldn't let that happen. So he continued to run, thinking about all the ways he'd lecture the big oaf when they got home, until he suddenly realized where Victor was going.
Why the hell was he running to the Nishigori's house?!
"VICCHAAAAAAN!" Yuuri shouted, not realizing that his target had already stopped moving until he ran right into him, causing them both to slip around comically on the patch of ice beneath them until they could steady themselves. Days, perhaps years, from now, Yuuri would look back on this memory and think that only Victor Nikiforov, five-time world figure skating champion, could have possibly recovered from a near-fall like that while still piss drunk. "Vicchan, what the-"
"SSSHHHHH!" Victor hissed loudly after grabbing Yuuri and pulling him close to clumsily place a finger to his lips.
"What the hell are you doing?!" demanded Yuuri in a harsh whisper this time.
"I'm gonna save Christmas, Yuuri!" a determined Victor explained, whispering enthusiastically as he gestured to a messenger bag around his shoulder which Yuuri hadn't noticed before.
The shorter Japanese man responded with a confused expression, his volume raising a little. "What are you talking about?"
Victor hushed him again and then directed his attention back at the quiet, darkened house where their friends were sleeping. He then stumbled over, still in a drunken haze, to the front door. Yuuri hurried behind him.
"No, Vicchan! You can't just-!" he yell-whispered at the drunk Russian who was sway-marching proudly over to the house.
"I won't wake dem up, my bootiful future husband~!" Victor whispered back, getting down on his knees (and almost falling over as he did so) when he was finally on the porch.
Yuuri looked around frantically. There had to be some law they were breaking right now. "Vicchan..! What are you-"
Then, Yuuri saw something glint in the platinum blond's hand under the moonlight. He squinted slightly, as he'd forgotten his glasses at home in his haste, until he realized with horror what it was: The spare house keys from under the welcome mat. "Vicchan, no!"
But it was too late as the heavy door had already swung open and Victor hurried past the threshold into the house within. Before Yuuri could even call out his name again, there was a loud series of bangs, booms, and crashes followed by painful groaning. Suddenly, every light on the upper floor of the house flickered on and Yuuri knew they were in trouble.
"I'm okay..." Victor called to his boyfriend from inside in a rather pitiful little voice.
-/-/-/-
The time was now close to 5am. Takeshi was driving both the young men to their home, laughing the entire way. Picture this: Yuuko and Takeshi were rudely awakened when they heard the ruckus from downstairs in their home and, thinking it some ne'er-do-well coming to do them harm, they both picked up whatever they thought they could use as a weapon and ran into the line of fire thinking of nothing but saving their children from whatever threats awaited them in the dark living room. Instead, they found their front door swung wide open with a frantic looking Yuuri panicking in a circle on the other side, periodically peering in at Victor, who was visibly drunk with his nose still glowing red, his body bent over their coffee table which he hadn't seen when he'd originally charged in. He had the shade of a nearby lamp perched atop his white head, one of his shoes had managed to shoot off during his fall and hit the ceiling (he mustn't have put it on properly to begin with), and his legs, flexible as he was, were spread far apart as he was sprawled over the table. Victor's messenger bag beside him was full of gifts – Russian gingerbread cookies he'd baked himself, various souvenirs he'd picked up on his travels, and other random items he must have just found around his and Yuuri's house. Even in his intoxicated state, he'd realized all the local toy stores would be closed that early in the morning, so if he was going to "save Christmas", he had to improvise. Cookies and his own random belongings were the best he could think of.
There was a moment of genuine confused silence among the Nishigoris at first. The parents observed the chaos for a while (Victor groaning about his knee in the background) as the triplets quietly sneaked down to join them and see their occhan in such a state. The silence was thick as the snow outside until it was finally broken by the sound of Axel taking a picture of the scene with her father's cellphone.
"W-what the hell is all this?!" asked Yuuko, the silence now diffused. Yuuri's mouth opened, but nothing except the occasional little yelping sound came out.
"M-merry ChristMAS," Victor tried to say before another unsexy belch messed up the last word.
Takeshi just burst out laughing. And he never stopped laughing. He laughed when Yuuri tried his best to apologize and explain the horrible night he'd had trying to look after his wild boyfriend. He laughed when Yuuko was treating the scratch Victor had gotten on his forehead with some rubbing alcohol and a bandaid. And now, he was laughing while driving the embarrassed men home, the Russian one now feeling more sober than before.
"Victor, my dude, you are a trip!" Takeshi exclaimed, finally parking the car just in front of their residence. "You break into my house, nearly slice my whole coffee table in half while looking like Rudolf the goddamn Red-nosed Reindeer to deliver random junk to my kids and it's not even Christmas yet!" He was overtaken by a new round of the giggles.
Now sobering up, Victor could tell he was never going to live this down. Yuuri felt very little sympathy for him at this point if any. He just wanted to go to bed. Takeshi was touched at least that the white haired man cared for his kids so much that he wanted their holiday to be special, but this was just too damn funny.
"Thanks for driving us home, Takeshi," Yuuri said while taking off his seat belt.
"Yes, thank you," said Victor, doing the same. Yuuri paused then and gently elbowed Victor in the ribs to remind him he still had something else he had to say. The older man winced a bit, still sensitive from his fall. Yuuri felt a little bad for that. "And... sorry again for everything."
"Hey, it's no problem!" Takeshi grinned from the front seat. "My kids got a real kick out of it, and thanks for the cookies! Why don't you break into my house again next year, eh?"
It wasn't long before the couple was back in their bedroom. Maccachin was already fast asleep, not even bothering to go after his owners and involve himself in their silliness. Victor, exhausted from the night's events, ended up throwing his clothes into a pile on the floor and plopping into bed like a ton of bricks. His body felt all sore and he was starting to get that gross hung-over feeling already. "Yuuri," Victor groaned into his pillow as his boyfriend stood behind him. "I'm really, really sorry. I'll listen to you next time..."
Yuuri stood there, staring disapprovingly at Victor's sprawled body. He really should be more angry. He should make Victor sleep on the couch in the living room or whatever else TV couples do when they're mad at each other, but he couldn't. He just couldn't. He thought about the massive hang-over Victor would need to deal with coupled with the bruises and soreness from his fall and he just couldn't bring himself to punish him further. So Yuuri sighed, took off his jacket and then slipped in beside the silver haired man to resume their spooning from earlier. Victor turned slowly, almost painfully, to take the little spoon position again.
From behind him, Yuuri kissed the back of Victor's aching head and gently tightened his grip around his midsection, remembering the other man's current sensitivity. "Good night... you jerk."
"... I love you, Yuuri."
Yuuri sighed. It always warmed his heart when Victor said he loved him. He nuzzled his face into the back of his lover's neck. "I love you too."
Victor wasn't allowed to get drunk for a long time after that, but since he was truly sorry for all he had put Yuuri through that night, he wasn't exactly trying to ever get that intoxicated again... Besides, that hangover he had the next day was no joke.
Hope everyone enjoyed that! Just so you know, the word "occhan" comes from "ojichan" which means uncle... So the triplets call Victor "Uncle Victor". :)
Please remember to leave a review and thanks for reading~! Happy holidays to everyone!