I do not own any of the characters from The Phantom of the Opera, although I do rather enjoy borrowing them from time to time. I also have no claim on Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, I certainly hope that all will take this parody with the humor in which it was intended.
Also I don't claim the line "It's your dime, spill it!" as this was used many times in the television show Mama's Family by Thelma Harper, not as the original line of some other fan fiction author's work as someone likes to claim! Who's the plagiarist now???
A/N Hey everyone, this is the chapter that I got accused of plagiarism on. So I have made a few minor changes to shut up the lone naysayer. Anyway it really wont change the story overall as I only changed two words. Let me know what you think.
Author – ToryD
Beta – MJMOD (Great Job MJ, I don't know what I'd do without you!)
The Science of Love
Chapter 4
Erik stood outside the Manhattan studio as an overwhelming sense of doom enclosed him. "Is this the correct address?" he asked his business manager.
Nadir looked down at the piece of paper where he had written down Meg's instruction. "Yes, this is it," he said in verification. Looking at the telling fear in Erik's eyes, Nadir laughed lightly to himself, "Come on Erik," he prodded him.
Erik swallowed hard at the lump in his throat as he unwillingly fell into step beside his friend.
Nadir walked up to the reception area while Erik stood back to view the numerous ceiling to floor posters denoting the various shows the network produced. He recognized a very popular comedian, what appeared to be a reality chef competition, a fashion reality show and then his heart lodged in his throat, for there it was. A life-sized poster featuring five attractive males with the title Queer Eye for the Straight Guy emblazed in huge bold lettering.
Nadir returned to inform his boss that they would be met shortly. As he opened his mouth to impart the information, the words froze on his tongue as he took in the paleness of Erik's features. "Erik!" he called out sharply with alarm.
"Get Meg on the phone now!" he demanded.
Nadir quickly accessed his database of numbers on his cell.
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Meg dug through her purse searching for her ringing cell phone as she waited for Christine to purchase her last gift. "It's your dime, spill it," she greeted her caller.
Nadir shook his head at Meg's less than cordial greeting. "Meg, I have Erik for you," he said as he handed the phone over to his employer.
"MEG!" Erik began uncontrollably. "What in hell have you set up for me?"
Meg's face scrunched up in a sheepish expression. "I just did what you asked me," she said cautiously.
Erik began pacing in his well-worn docksiders. "What I asked you my dear Megan," he said with an emphasis on her much hated name, "was to help me buy some new clothes, not to make a laughingstock out of me by putting me on public display!" He all but yelled into the phone.
Meg held the phone away from her ear as she heard the anger in her brother's voice. "Calm down Erik!" she said in an irritated tone that only caused Erik's temper to escalated higher. "You are not going to be put on the program, this is just the place where they work, so it was the most convenient place for you to meet up with them," she explained impatiently. "They are doing you a huge favor Erik!" she returned irritated. "Try to remember that it is only three days until Christmas, and most of them have taken time out of their holiday break to come in and help you. So I expect you to behave and show them the gratitude that they deserve!"
Erik frowned at Meg's admonishing comments. "All right," he replied grudgingly.
Sighing deeply Meg's heart felt a small sting of pain for Erik, as she knew that it was difficult for him to be out in the public eye where he was met with disgusted and frightened stares. "Erik, you know that I would never put you in a situation where I thought you might be hurt." She said in a softer voice that seemed to calm Erik's agitated nerves.
"You're right, I'm sorry. It's just…" his voice trailed off in a tone of uncertainty.
"It's just what Erik?" Meg questioned from the other end of the phone line.
'It's just that I want Christine to notice me," he said in such a wistful tone that tears began to fill Meg's eyes.
"She already does notice you Erik, and she sees you as the sweet man that you have always been." Meg said with a small smile gracing her face.
"Mr. Korvin?" Jai inquired as he and his other partners approached the shabbily dressed man in the lobby.
Erik turned to face the five men bearing down on him. "Yes," he answered hesitantly as he took in each man's appraising stare.
Carson slowly circled Erik as he held his forefinger to his pursed lips, taking in the raw material he had to work with. 'I think we had better start with his wardrobe, the salon will never let him in the way he is dressed now." Carson said as he shook his head sadly.
Kyan reached out and felt the rough texture of Erik's overly long hair. "What shampoo and conditioner do you use?" he questioned a stunned Erik.
Erik's eyes widened in terror as the tall blond man dressed in a pink cashmere jacket teamed with plaid pink and green pants began to take his measurements.
"Meg," Erik whispered in a frightened voice.
"Is that Meg on the phone?" Jai asked as he took the phone from Erik's hand. "Meg, its Jai." He informed her as he walked a short distance away from the team's initial inspection. "Now don't you worry sweet little Meg, me and the guys are going to take good care of your friend."
"Jai," Meg sighed into the phone. "Please be sensitive to Erik, he is so nervous that I don't think that he could take it if anything went wrong." She said worriedly.
"I promise you that when I return him to you he will be a new confident man." Jai responded to her apprehensive comment. "Now I've got to get to work, bye Meg," he said abruptly as he flipped the phone shut with a decisive snap.
Erik jumped back slightly as Carson began to take his inseam measurement.
"Now don't be like that big boy," Carson exclaimed with an offended look. "It's not like you have something that I haven't seen before," Carson said with a mischievous wink to his right eye as he resumed his measuring. His eyes widened as his hand brushed against the proof of Erik's attributes. "But then again I could be wrong," Carson said with an awe filled voice that brought a twinge of red to Erik's cheeks.
Ted and Thom stood back and watched Erik's reaction to their fellow team members. "We'd better get in there before Carson scares him off completely." Thom said with experience.
Nadir watched with amusement dancing in his dark eyes. He made a mental note to himself to give Meg a big hug the next time he saw her, as this had to be the best entertainment he had in years.
Thom and Ted walked up and greeted Erik and Nadir in a more traditional manner than their other cohorts. "Mr. Korvin, I'm Ted Allen," he said as he held out his hand to Erik.
Erik took Ted's offered hand automatically as he felt an overwhelming need to flee.
"This is Thom Filicia, he is our resident expert in the home décor arena," Ted informed Erik as he indicated the dark haired man at his side.
Erik shook hands again with one of the gentlemen that Meg had arranged to make him over without uttering a single word.
Jai walked up to the group. "Erik, Meg has already filled us in about your wanting to present a more polished image to a catch the eye of a particular young woman." He said as he motioned for the doorway.
Erik gave Nadir a pleading look as he was ushered out of the building by the five enthusiastic men.
Two large SUV stood at the ready to receive the coming group. "Ted, Carson, why don't you come with me and Erik for the wardrobe selections, while Kyan and Thom go ahead and map out some strategy for the salon," Jai suggested as they all pooled around a nervous Erik.
Kyan nodded his head in agreement, "Great idea, I think that I will need to stop of at Saks for some items before we hit the salon, so," he said as he looked at his stylish watch. "Let's meet up in about two hours."
Carson was already seated in the back of the first SUV and motioning for Erik to take a seat in next to his pink-outfitted form. "Don't be shy Erik, we've got a lot of work to do in the next two hours," he said with a boyish smile gracing his perfectly moisturized face.
Erik reluctantly got in the large car and slid into the seat next to the flamboyant Carson.
Nadir stood poised on the sidewalk unsure of his role in this upcoming chain of events. "Erik, did you want me to accompany you?" he questioned with a hopeful expression for he did not want to miss a moment of the festivities.
"YES!" Erik said a little too loudly as he motioned for Nadir to take the vacant seat in the front.
Taking the indicated seat, he hid his amusement as Jai slid in beside Erik, forcing Erik into the middle of the two very talkative men.
Ted put the large vehicle into gear and navigated his way among the bustling city streets. Looking up into the rear view mirror he caught Carson's eye, "Where to?" he questioned the fashion expert of their little group.
Carson's face took on a pensive look as he considered the limitless possibilities, "I think that we should start off at Barneys," he said matter-of-factly. That caused Erik to swallow hard at the prospect of what the man seated to his left would select in the way of clothing for him.
"Erik," Jai called out as he began to get a sense of the man who so desperately needed his help. "Meg has told me that you have recently met her roommate and would like to try to get to know her a little bit better," he said in a soothing tone that helped Erik relax a small bit.
"Yes, Christine," Erik said in a wistful far off tone that melted the hearts of the three men assigned to make his wish come true.
"Christine," Jai repeated. "Tell us all that you know about Christine," he instructed as they made their way towards the busy downtown-shopping district.
"She is a senior at Stanford, studying Architecture. Her parents died when she was quite young, so she has grown up in the foster system. From what Meg has told me she is a hard worker, while she is on a full academic scholarship, she pays for all of her living expenses through her full time job." Erik said with unmistakable pride.
Both Carson and Jai had a dreamy look in their eyes. "What else can you tell us, what are some of her hobbies?" Jai continued to probe.
"I think that Meg said that she likes to cook," Erik offered.
Ted straightened in his driver's seat, "That is my area, perhaps we could arrange a cooking lesson as a first date," Ted said to his other team members.
Carson nodded his head in agreement, "Wonderful idea Ted, that way they could get more comfortable with each other while you could be there to help Erik through any rough spots."
Erik felt a hopefulness wash over him as the men began to discuss the details of his and Christine's upcoming date. Perhaps with the help of these five men, he could succeed and begin to gather his confidence to ask Christine for a date. Perhaps he could just win her after all.
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Christine took in Meg's harried expression and frowned quizzically. "Is everything all right?" she asked with a concerned look.
"Of course, why wouldn't it be?" Meg responded in a defensive tone causing Christine's frown to deepen.
"No reason," Christine said slowly as she studied her friend.
"If you are finished we need to get the grocery store," Meg said with a great sigh.
Christine's eyes brightened at the prospect of cooking this evening's upcoming meal. "Great!" She said as she led the way towards Meg's car.
Once they were both settled comfortably in Meg's expensive European sports car that Erik had given her as a high school graduation present, Meg began to broach the subject of Erik's tender feelings for her friend. "Christine," Meg called out to garner her friend's attention.
Christine looked over at Meg and saw that her roommate was struggling with something. "Ok Meg, are you finally going to tell what has been bothering you all day?"
Sighing deeply Meg turned onto the freeway to make their twenty-mile trek to the grocery store. "It's Erik," Meg said with an apprehensive tone.
"Erik?" Christine responded questioningly.
"Yes, Erik. Christine if you haven't noticed he's crazy about you!" Meg said in an exasperated voice.
"Really?" Christine whispered in a pleasantly surprised tone.
Meg looked over sharply at her friend. "Yes, really," she said as she studied the goofy expression on Christine's face.
"I think that he is very sweet," Christine said as she turned her blushing face away from Meg's scrutiny.
"Yes, he is and I want him to stay that way," Meg said in a tone that issued a warning censure.
Christine knew exactly what her friend was trying to say, "Meg, I don't know what you want me to say," she offered in way of response.
"Oh Christine, I guess all I want is for you to know that Erik has never really had a date before. He has never really been interested in anything other than science up until he met you," Meg said in a protective tone. "I guess I just want you to promise me that if you don't think of him in that way that you won't let him get his heart broken," Meg finished in a clumsily.
Smiling Christine reached out and patted her friend's arm. "Meg, I can't really explain it, but when I am around Erik, I feel like he is calling to me, as though he is my other half on this earth," Christine said in soft voice that denoted her own stunned surprise.
Meg smiled as she considered a relationship between two of her most favorite people. "Thank you Christine. I knew that you of all people would be able to see beyond Erik's physical appearance to the wonderful man he is deep inside," Meg said in an emotional voice.
Christine smiled at the love so evident in Meg's expression. "Erik is lucky to have someone as protective as you Meg," she said gently.
"It is I who am lucky Christine," Meg responded as they continued down the highway. "I guess that maybe I should tell you that Erik is at this very minute receiving a makeover."
Christine's brow creased into a frown. "Makeover?" she questioned her guilty looking friend.
"Hmm, yeah, I kind of set up for the guys I used to intern with last summer to help Erik out," She said as she avoided Christine's accusatory eyes.
Christine eyebrows shot straight up in shocked surprise. "The Queer Eye for the Straight Guys team?" Christine shouted out in an unladylike tone.
Meg swallowed hard at the look of admonishment she was receiving from her roommate. "Well he asked me to get him to look better for you," she responded in a rush of self-defending words.
Christine felt her heart lift at the lengths that Erik would go to please her. "He did?" she said in a happy tone.
Meg seeing that she was off the hook smiled in delight. "Yes he did, so make sure that you make a big deal of his changed look tonight."
Christine merely smiled dreamily as she turned away from her roommate to stare out at the cold winter New York day.
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A/N Hey all, WaytoointoErik has started a C2 called Phiction For Mature Eyes Only, she was kind enough to include me as a staff member, so if you have any recommendations of well written mature modern day stories, please message them to me so MJ and I can take a read. Thanks! Let me know if you want to see more of the Queer Eye guys in the next upcoming chapters. Please let me know what you think in your reviews. Thanks!