rkts4

a/n

well…at least I'm getting more reviews… but what happened to Deidara-kun Fangirl? She used to be one of my regular reviewers, but she hasn't reviewed this story once! Oh well…oh and Dragonlord, your fox has been returned safe and sound!

Disclaimer: okay this is the last time I'm going to say this until the final chapter. I do not own anything but myself, Shiro, Randomnigan, DOOM no Jutsu, and Resident Evil no Jutsu.

end of a/n

KoR: -walks in carrying two envelopes, each one containing a review, opens the first one before the people on the set- okay, we've got another one from Dragonlord… it says "If you two come near ... I will just teleport away.
Edward Elric! I dare you to throw Roy in the Fangirl cage!
Kisame...Are you related to Jaws?
Hinata. I dare you to kick the toad sannin in the nuts!
Itachi. Orochimaru is looking at you funny.
Inuyasha... Can I borrow the Tetsaiga? Just for a second.
Dante. Prepare to die...
LATER! Exit, stage left!"

Ed: :)

Roy: OO

Ed: -grabs Roy by the back of his uniform and literally hurls him through the door on the Fangirls' cage-

Kisame: …how dare you insult my uncle…in other words yes I am related to jaws, but you don't want to know who my father was…that sick pervert, "pleasuring" himself to National Geographic and Care Bears… -shudders at such a thought-

Hinata: -looks at her Naruto-kun, who nods his head signaling that it's okay…-

Naruto: HEY ERO-SANNIN ("Pervy Sage")!

Jyraiya: what --

Hinata: -kicks the pervy sage "where the sun don't shine"-

Jyraiya: OO OW MY BALLS!! –is now writhing on the floor in pain- OW MY F-CKING BALLS!!

Naruto: hey Pervy Sage!

Jyraiya: what!?

Naruto: you just got kicked in the nuts!

Jyraiya: not funny!

All: yeah it is!!

-screaming can now be heard coming from the Fangirl cage, made by Roy Mustang (out of fear of the Fangirls) and by Rita Hawkeye (for fear of loosing her precious "Roy-kun")-

Itachi: what are you talking about? Orochimaru's been dead since…was it the first or second chapter?

Shiro and Hanabi: the first.

Inuyasha: no you can't cuz I can't trust anyone but Kagome with it.

Kagome: -blushes-

Dante: -starts singing "Immortal" by ADEMA-

KoR: -opens the second one and reads it- okay this one is from a…sco23. it says…

"Dares:

1. I dare Itachi to use Tsukyomi to tickle torture the girls for 144 hours.

2. I dare Kakashi to use the 10 years of death on the girls.

3. I dare Sasuke to get attacked by a bunch of hungry hyenas.

4. I dare the boys to be trapped in the closet with Orochimaru, Barney the
dinosaur and Herbert the perverted old man from family guy for a week.

5. I dare all the girls to be trapped in a closet with Jyraiya Ebisu, and
Quagmire from family guy for a month and the girls aren't allowed to attack
and hit them but just put up with it.

6. I dare all the girls to get their hair shaven off.

7. I dare Itachi to put everyone in a genjutsu to watch Gai and Lee hugging
for 72 hours.

8. I dare Sasuke and Hanabi to say the nicest things about their siblings.

9. I dare Sakura and Ino to fight to the death for Sasuke's affection.

10. I dare Naruto not to wear anything orange.

Here's a question for the Naruto cast:

Anko: Why do you like licking blood off people? Don't you know you can get
HIV/AIDS or hepatitis b?

Naruto: What does dattebayo means anyway? Why do you add chan to Sakura's
name when he has no feelings toward you? Why don't you focus on the goal of
being Hokage instead of chasing Sasuke? Besides if Sasuke doesn't come back
Sakura would probably be yours. And did you know that Hinata secretly likes
you?

Sakura: Why do you hit Naruto for no good reason? Because if that was me that
you hit for no reason you would have ended up missing? Are you naturally pink
haired?

Ino: Why are you a vain and temperamental blond?

Shikamaru: Does the word troublesome run in your family?

Choji: Do you think you can get me that red pill some I can stop pill
popping these weight loss pills?

Hinata: Why do you punk out when it comes telling Naruto about your feelings?
Why didn't you use the cage bird seal attack when Neji was beating you down?
Would you go back in time to make sure that Naruto ends up on your team?

Kiba: Think you can give me what ever make Akamaru grow so my dog will be
big?

Shino: What would you do to that person if he or she switch your soap and
shampoo with bug poison? What would you do to Naruto if he tells anyone that
you sung and dance at the wedding in the laughing Shino arc?

Tenten: Who would you want to be married to Lee, Neji, or Gai? Did you notice
that you get less screen time than the others? I mean where have you been in
the Shippuden movie?

Neji: Will you ever lighten up on the fate drama?

Lee: Will you give up on Sakura she has a big forehead and will never like
you and is equally vain and temperamental as Ino? Find another girl who like
you for who you are and doesn't think your a weirdo?

Kurenai: Why are your eyes red? Are you part Uchiha?

Temari: What does Shikamaru do to make you like him?

Kankuro: Do you use your puppet to scare kids and old people on Halloween?

Gaara: Do you have a girlfriend?

Kin and Zaku: How did Orochimaru kill you?

Orochimaru, Kabuto, and Sasuke: For billions of dollars or yen, would you
strip down naked with guitars and basses covering your parts and sing blink
182's 'what's my age again' in front of all the yaoi fangirls and yaoi fanboys?

Sound five: If you have a chance to live again, Would you do the right thing
and try to help konoha defeat Orochimaru?

Karin: Why is your hair freaky like that?

Seigutsu: Are you interested in going out with Karin because you seem to
argue with her alot and I'm just thinking that when guys and girls fight each
other that means they like each other?

Jugo: Do you enjoy having a split personality disorder?

Sai: Do you have any real interest in other things besides insulting people
particularly Naruto's manhood?

Gai: Are you interested in getting a girlfriend or spreading the power of
youth everywhere?

Asuma and Jyraiya: Why did you have to die? Why couldn't it be Gai or Someone
else?

Tsunade: Would you had ever gone out with Jyraiya?

Shizune: Are you interested in going out with Genma, Kakashi, or Iruka?" that's…a lot of dares and questions and also… -to the audience- you can't dare me, Shiro, or Hanabi to do anything without our consent due to the fact that we ARE the hosts and owners of this show. Therefore, Hanabi can choose whether or not she does her dare without consequence- -

Itachi: -does the first dare-

Kakashi: -does his dare-

Sasuke: -gets bitten by a hyena, but it finds that he doesn't taste good, so it and the rest of them run away…-

Orochimaru's ghost: I'm dead so I can't do anything. –floats away-

Herbert: I only go after Chris Griffin. –walks offstage and back to the Family Guy set-

Barney: :)

Boys: -make a "bee-line" for the Fangirl cage-

One month later…

-The girls walk out, along with the three they were trapped in there with, with nothing having happened to them via threats of law suits, restraining orders, and other things, except for the fact that Jyraiya and Tsunade were being carried out in the middle of a make-out session-

all: WHAT THE F-CK!!

-All of the girls, except Hanabi, join the boys in the Fangirl cage-

one hour later…

-everyone but the Fangirls are being let out of the Fangirl cage-

Itachi: -is about to put everyone under the genjutsu when Gai and Lee do it for real, with a sunset background-

All but those who already knew that that would happen: WHAT THE HELL!? 1 WE ARE INSIDE, 2 IT'S ONLY NOON SO HOW THE F-CK IS THAT HAPPENING!?

Kakashi: I still haven't figured it out after so many years…

72 hours later…

-Lee and Gai finally stop hugging-

Sasuke: well… Itachi-nii-san is good at everything but Taijutsu and flirting…

Hanabi: Hinata IS a very kind and gentle person when she's not sparring or doing other ninja-stuff…

KoR: Sakura, Ino, you two don't need to do this one. (to the audience) Sakura already has Sasuke and Ino is already in love with Sai.

Naruto: -now wearing all black with the red swirls on his old jumpsuit- there you happy now!?

Anko: I don't know why I do it, but I can't get those diseases cuz I have the F-CKING antidote to the diseases right here. –takes out a thermos then puts it away-

Naruto: dattebayo means "believe it", I haven't added "-chan" to Sakura-san's name since I found out how Hinata-chan really felt about me, which was when I finally realized my true feelings for Hinata-chan…I already brought back Sasuke, and I don't care whether or not Sasuke-temme gets Sakura-san cuz I've already got my Hinata-chan, and yes I do no that she loves me, and I've known this ever since that day… the greatest day of my life…so far……

Sakura: cuz I feel like it! And yes I'm a natural rose-blonde (pink-haired) and you want proof I'll give you proof!

Everyone but Sasuke covers their eyes as she exposes herself, giving Sasuke a nosebleed in the process, but it's censored due to the fact that this IS a T rated fanfic!-

Sasuke: OO yup, she's a natural!

Ino: idk

Shikamaru: I don't really know.

Choji: I can't get you anything except a laugh or mental/emotional stuff cuz this is a talk show!

Hinata: at first it was fear of rejection… but now I don't even know why I didn't tell him sooner! It would not have been right to use the seal during the match, for it would have been cheating! And I might…if I had the chance…then again…maybe not. It's the greatest of crimes to have interfered with the past.

Kiba: sure as long as you can give me a girl to replace Hinata.

Shiro: -points at Haku, who is in fact a girl who was pretending to be a boy-

Kiba: !! –whistles, then snaps out of it and sends a package of the food that Akamaru eats to the asker of the question, then stares some more at FemHaku-

Shino: I'd kill whoever poisons my precious insects…I wouldn't care if Naruto told anyone, and that's all I have o say.

Tenten: I'd go with my Neji-kun any day. And yes I've noticed and I don't care as long as I get as many moments with Neji-kun as possible. And for the movie, I don't really know cuz author-temme over there –points at KoR- never saw the movie.

Neji: HELO? I HAVE BEEN LIGHTENING UP SINCE I JOINED THE "I-GOT-SENSE-BEATEN-INTO-ME-BY-Naruto" CLUB!

Lee: TT maybe I would if I could find another girl… but I will respect her wishes nonetheless…

Kurenai: I don't know why my eyes are red, but it doesn't make me part Uchiha, but it might just mean that me and Pein could me related in some abstract way…

Temari: the fact that he's so good at all those strategy games and the fact that he likes to stare at the clouds all day and…

Five minutes later…

Temari: and the fact that- -

The whole world: OKAY! WE GET IT!

Kankuro: -looks left, then right- sometimes…-gets wacked from behind by a phone book (provided by the Dukes) covered in Gaara's sand and hardened, by Gaara- ow! What was that for!?

Gaara: for using puppets like those on Halloween. And if I did, would I tell you? Yes I do, but her name shall be kept secret so that she can be safe from people who want to kill me.

Kin and Zaku: you don't want to know…

Sasuke and Kabuto: NO, NO AND NOT ONLY THAT, BUT HELL NO!!

Orochimaru's ghost: maybe…if I were still alive I could give you a real answer…

Sound Five: no, for we are too loyal to Otogakure.

Sai: yes actually, and if you want to know, it's a girl… her name…is Ino.

Ino: he likes me! he really likes me!

Karin: idk

Seigutsu: (playfully/dramatically) maybe…

Jugo: depends on the personality.

Gai: both…but the flames of youth are one of the things that can help us in many situations!

Asuma: cuz I couldn't survive Hidan's triple-bladed scythe.

Jyraiya: idk

Tsunade: maybe…if he wasn't such a pervert…

Shizune: -has Iruka, Genma, and Kakashi form a straight line, passes Kakashi and Genma, stops, looks at Iruka, and tackles him, knocking him over, and then has a make-out session with him.-

KoR: well that answers one question and raises many more…everyone! I dare you to play seven minutes in Heaven while I watch you all play.

-everyone but KoR forms a circle with a bottle in the center.-

Yuna: I guess I'll go first…-spins the bottle and it lands on Tidus- -blushes-

Yuna and Tidus: -go into a closet, hand in hand-

Seven minutes later…

-Tidus and Yuna come back out, both blushing heavily…-

Vaan: -spins the bottle, it lands on Penello-

Penello and Vaan: -both blush and go into the closet for seven minutes, and when they come out they're blushing ten shades deeper…

A few hours later…

Sai: I guess I'm the only one left… -spins the bottle, to find that it lands on Ino, and they both blush-

-they both went into the closet-

seven minutes later…

-nothing comes out…-

all: Oo maybe if we wait a little longer…

seven minutes later…

-still nothing comes out…-

all: O– (twitch) come on… be a little more patient…

thirty-five minutes later…

-STILL nobody comes out-

KoR: okay this has gone on long enough! –opens the door, revealing Ino and Sai making out- OO out! out! out!

-Sai and Ino stop their session and rejoin the circle, blushing redder than red!-

Hiashi: you just HAD to pull what Sora and Kairi did who just HAD to pull what Link and Zelda did… didn't you?

Ino and Sai: yup! And we have no regrets!

Larxane: I guess I'll go…-spins it and it lands on …-

Axel: OO

Larxane: yes! This is going to be better than when I finished my love shrine to Axel-kun…but why him? He DOES make me FEEL like I have a heart, but he's still that much of a party boy…

(flashback)

(some bar out in some town in the middle of nowhere)

Larxane: there's so much smoke here… damn you Axel… -spots Axel-

Axel: -dancing on a table, VERY drunk…- FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM HOY! FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM HOY! FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM HOY! FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM HOY!

Larxane: -grabs Axel by his hood- let's go Axel…-drags him out-

(outside the bar)

-they get into a car-

Axel: I'm with a very cute Nobody! I'm the luckiest Nobody in the world!

Larxane: ((OO)) I'm flattered Axel but let's get you back to the hotel…Axel?

Axel: zzzzzzzzzzzz

Larxane: way to ruin the moment…

-Axel, being asleep, lost his balance, and landed in a very awkward position…(his head is resting on Larxane's shoulder)…-

(end of flashback)

-Larxane drags a VERY sober Axel into the closet by the hood, kicking and screaming…-

seven minutes later…

-Larxane walks out with a smile on her face, while Axel stays there, looking both shocked and confused…-

(what happened in that closet…)

-Axel is sitting as far as he can possibly get, scared of Larxane, but Larxane is closing in, with a smirk on her face…-

Larxane: - pins Axel to the wall with her arms, Axel starts struggling- you know Axel, you are someone who REALLY…

Axel: oh sh-t I'm going to die…

Larxane: …REALLY makes me feel as if I…as if I actually have a heart…–kisses Axel dead on the lips-

Axel: OO WTF!? Larxane… -kisses back, still in shock…

(end of "what went on in that closet")

KoR: what…what happened in there?…doesn't matter I guess… my dare is over…

Shiro: I guess I'll go next then…you know what? I think the Necronomicon deserves it's own dare…-takes off the ring that allows him to control the Necronomicon and sets it on the table, giving temporary control to the book- YO NECRO-BOOK! I SHALL TEMPORARILY YEILD CONTROL TO YOU FOR THIS DARE! Vincent Valentine, I dare you to kiss Shelke on camera, on the lips!

Vincent: OO -kisses Shelke-

Shelke: -kisses back, as forcefully as possible- (technically, she IS nineteen in Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus, but because she joined DeepGround at age nine, she didn't age since then up until the Mako suit was removed.)

Cloud: (to all) for those of you who do not know, Shelke may LOOK to be only nine going on ten, but she is actually nineteen going on twenty, but hasn't aged because she was in DeepGround for about ten years.

All but the FFVII characters, Hanabi, Shiro, and The Author: WHAT!?

Yuffie: yup! The Tsviets (elite DeepGround soldiers) to be more exact.

All but the FFVII characters, Hanabi, Shiro, and The Author: hamina hamina hamina hamina hamina hamina…

Necro-Shiro: actually, I can fix the aging problem…-chants an incantation…-

Shelke: -now actually LOOKS nineteen-

Vincent: -gazes in shock and awe at the now nineteen year old beauty in front of him, jaw-drop and all- SH-SH-SHELKE!?

Shelke: yeah what is it?

Aerieth: -gives Shelke a mirror-

Shelke: -looks in it and sees the "new" her

Shiro: -now back to normal- -sees the now nineteen year old Shelke kissing Vincent- okay what the heck just happened?

Hanabi: when you gave your dare to the book, it dared Vincent to kiss Shelk, and while they were doing the dare, it used you to speak some sort of Necronamic incantation to make Shelke actually LOOK like her age.

Shiro: OO –quickly puts the Necro-ring back on as quickly as he possibly can, and with Fujin (the gauntlet on his right hand, which has the power to control wind), that can be VERY fast.- okay Hanabi-chan, remind me never to give control to the book EVER again!

Hanabi: -giggle- sure thing Shiro-kun! Oh! I'm up! Okay LORD DEATH! I DARE YOU TO MAKE HIS ROYALLY RANDOM MAJESTY INTO AN ASCENDED SHINIGAMI AND THEN RIGHT DRAGONLORD'S NAME IN THE DEATH NOTE!

Lord Death: -does both parts of his dare, the first by Necronamic incantation, and the second part by using his DEATH NOTE, but the DEATH NOTE doesn't work cuz he's an author too.-

KoR: -now an ascended Shinigami (looks human, is visible to all, but is also a Shinigami)- well I guess we'll be right back once we get more than two to four reviews for the chapter.

a/n

seriously, spread the word about the show/fanfic! R&R

end of a/n