A/N- I had a lil difficulty with this chapter too, R&R:)

EPOV

I sat in the chair behind Carlisle's desk, trying to block out what was being thought and said around me. It was no easier listening to Carlisle tell Charlie then it had been when he had told me.

"I'm sorry to tell you this Charlie," Carlisle began in a low, comforting voice just outside his office. "But it appears that Bella has a slight," Lies. "Case of amnesia." Well, maybe slight is an understatement. I scoffed at Carlisle's thoughts. "She seems to have forgotten all about life here in Forks," including me my mind hissed. "And she is still having difficulty remembering things about Phoenix. Things about her life with Renee might come back gradually. She has difficulty remembering things when she has a train of thought. Things come and go. But don't worry, we don't think that part will be at all permanent." Edward, son, we're almost positive about her memory coming back soon too.

Almost. Almost wasn't good enough! I had never seen Bella so scared before. So weak and defenseless. I felt like I was starring at her when she was collapsed in front of James' threatening crouch again. She had ran from me, I had never seen her run so fast. I didn't have it in me to stop her, even though I knew I easily could have. In her rush she had tripped and, by then, I had caught her. I was terrified as she looked up and me with such broken and confused eyes. She had passed out as Carlisle had been trying to calm her in my arms.

He'd been running tests on her for a day now, but he had finally found everything he'd been searching for. She was sleeping now. And I would have to wait to see what she'd be like when she woke up, though I was supposed to stay away when she wakes as not to scare her again. This thought tortured me.

Charlie had stiffened in response to what Carlisle had just informed him of. Hmm. He was better at it then I had been. Carlisle had caught me just before I punched the wall in worried frustration. It was unbelievable to think that I had used to want this, for her to forget all about me.

Charlie's mind, as a natural defense, was blocking out everything Carlisle had just told him. He refused to let himself believe Bella had forgotten about her time in Forks, I knew this.

"I . . ." Charlie's mind ran through a list of possible ways to finish his sentence. "Don't understand." was all he could finally manage.

Of course he didn't. I didn't either. The love of my existence just threw me to the dogs. She didn't believe me. How could she not remember me?

It hurt just to think about it. The mountain of dark frustration that had clouded my mind while I had been with Bella returned. It won't last forever, I reminded myself. The thing was, Carlisle might say that, but every time after he says it, he instantly starts reciting every Latin word in alphabetical order. He was hiding something from me and I wasn't positive I wished to know what.

"Bella's not going to remember moving here." Carlisle whispered softly to Charlie. "She won't remember much at all actually. So you might not be able to see Bella for a few days until we get here under control and calm." You and me both Charlie.

He makes my daughter sound like some sort of monster. Charlie's mind snarled, but he nodded all the same. He was far past being able to speak. "Will she ever come back doc?" he asked so quietly that no one else would have been able to hear it.

"I . . ." Don't know? Am not positive? Hope so? Think so? Carlisle debated on what would be best to tell Charlie. I saw how little hope I had. "Hope so." he settled with. Charlie looked down in despair. Nope. Definitely not the right choice of words.

"I'll be back tomorrow then." his voice even quieter now although his voice was screaming in concern and frustration of being kept in the dark. He too could tell there was more to what he was being told. "Keep an eye on my girl. Promise me she'll be okay."

Carlisle looked deep into Charlie's worried eyes. "She's already doing great Charlie. Do not fear for her tonight." Charlie nodded, looking down to the floor, he trudged away slowly. Ugh. Most definitely not the right word choice again. Tonight. He just had to add tonight. Obviously there was more! Ugh, I hated it when Carlisle blocked me like this. I sighed, dropping my head into my hands as Carlisle came back into the room.

Son, she's going to be okay. He tried comforting me, but there was an edge to his thoughts. I knew there was more meaning to his words.

"Define okay, Carlisle." I snapped, still not looking up at him. He opened his mouth with a slight popping noise and sucked in some air. He was back to thinking Latin again. I groaned. "I know your not telling me something."

I've told you everything I'm positive on. He thought weakly before rushing from the room and disappearing into the mixture of loud minds. It was really bothering me now. Carlisle had never kept me in the dark like this before . . .

"Doctor Carlisle?" the small black speaker box on the right corner of Carlisle's desk buzzed with the voice of his nurse. I sighed and reached the over to press the button.

"He just left to check on a patient, what can I tell him?" I asked reluctantly. I hated being the delivery boy.

"Oh, Edward," the nurse stumbled over her words and I suppressed another sigh. "Um, will you please tell Carlisle that Bella's stirring, we think she'll be awake soon."

"Sure thing." I fought against the gaping hole of sadness as waved through me. I wouldn't be able to go see her again. That would just scare her again.

I pushed soundlessly up from the chair and out the door, searching through the thoughts of others to find where Carlisle was. He was just leaving a patient's room four doors down from Bella's room. I worked hard to maintain my human pace as I went down to get him. I didn't want Bella to be afraid again, I only hoped Carlisle could calm her.

What is it son? He thought to me as I approached, though he didn't look up from his clipboard. He said a few quick things to the doctor standing next to him, handing him the clipboard. He waited until the doctor was back inside the patient's room before he looked up for a response.

"Bella's waking." I choked out, still depressed I wouldn't be able to be there to make her feel better. She didn't even know who I was.

Carlisle nodded. I'm going to talk to her Edward, to see what she remembers. Please restrain yourself from coming into the room, no matter what we say. Can you do that Edward? Of course he doubted that I could sit through him talking to Bella about how she didn't know a thing about me and her.

I took an unnecessary deep breath. "Can I still listen?" I whispered. It was all I could manage if I wanted to keep my voice even.

Can you? He left me to answer that myself as he turned past and walked towards Bella's room. Could I manage to still listen? Could I handle it as she talked about her previous life before meeting me and then draw a complete blank when she was asked of me? My love not even remembering my name, none the less hers. At first I was positive I couldn't . . . but then I realized I could deal with it. She was still Bella, even if she didn't know it.

I went and stationed myself outside her door, sliding down the wall and gripping my knees as I sat.