"So, who would like to introduce themselves next?" Hashirama asked.
The group all raised their hands. Hashirama picked a young girl in a red dress who had pink hair. Naturally pink hair, despite the fact that naturally pink hair was unnatural.
"My name's Haruno Sakura." the girl said with a bright blush. "I'm twelve, and I'm a Genin. I like..." the girl turned to the Uchiha boy and blushed even more furiously. "My dream is..." the girl turned to the Uchiha boy again, squealing loudly this time, undoubtedly lost in some sort of fantasy that involved her being married to the Uchiha boy or something along those lines. "I don't like Naruto!" the girl yelled passionately.
Hashirama looked back and forth between the Uchiha boy and the pink haired girl a couple of times. Then, without warning, he grabbed the pink haired girl and the Uchiha boy and shunshined away with them. He returned about five minutes later, looking slightly disheveled as if he'd just been in a fight.
"Don't say I never did anything for the Uchiha." Hashirama said smugly.
"Where are my students?" Umino Iruka asked, a hard and threatening look crossing his face as he pulled out a kunai, knowing he was outmatched but prepared to give his life for his students if need be.
"If the Uchiha boy has half a brain, they're getting a start on restoring the Uchiha clan right now." Hashirama said. "I'm reasonably certain that the pink haired girl knows what to do if the boy doesn't."
Iruka looked stunned at this. "But, they're too young..." he said.
"What do you mean too young?" Madara asked. He'd already been married by the time he was the Sasuke boy's age. Of course it had been a political marriage, and he hadn't really done much with his wife before she ended up dying on the battlefield during a fight with a clan that had settled in Lightning country recently when she took a blow meant for him, but still, he'd already been married, and it had been implied that he'd been expected to have children to go along with that marriage.
"Moving on." Hashirama said through clenched teeth. "Would anyone else care to either introduce themselves or help the Uchiha rebuild their clan, or both?"
The remaining boys in the group kept their hands down since that question appeared to be a trap to them, and only two of the three remaining girls raised their hands at this point.
"You, the Yamanaka," Hashirama said. "Introduction, clan rebuilding, or both?"
"Take me to Sasuke-kun!" the girl exclaimed. "I'm going to prove that true love prevails and have more babies than Forehead!"
Hashirama picked up the Yamanaka girl in order to carry her off to wherever he'd stashed the pink haired creature and the Uchiha boy, causing a number of men in the crowd to get nosebleeds as they pictured what would soon be happening to a certain guy who was getting two women who were desperate to have his children at once.
"Oh, hell no!" Iruka and Madara yelled at the same time, Iruka drawing his weapon once more, despite the fact that he was still outclassed.
"Why not?" Hashirama asked.
"Yamanaka Inoichi will do worse than kill me if I let something happen to his daughter." Iruka said.
"We tried mixing with the Yamanaka before. Let's just say that the results had to be exterminated for the safety of the world." Madara said at the same time.
"Well then, moving on." Hashirama said as he dropped the Yamanaka girl and pushed her back towards the group.
"Would you look at that," Madara said, pretending to look at a non-existent watch in a desperate attempt to end this disaster before something worse than the near destruction of all life as everyone knew it happened. "We're all out of time. Someone go get whoever the hell that kid was and the pink haired girl, and go send them all home."
"But they haven't all introduced themselves." Hashirama said as he watched Mito stare at something the demon possessed Uzumaki was drawing in horror.
"Don't care." Madara said. So far, he and his clan had both had been humiliated, and he wanted this all to be over.
"Fine." Hashirama said before turning to retrieve the Uchiha boy, the pink haired girl, and Lee who was presumably still using the poor tree.
A couple minutes later, they were back, and the Uchiha boy who was now sobbing had latched onto the teacher.
"She...She raped me!" the boy wailed.
The pink haired girl that had been sent off with the Uchiha turned to look at the Yamanaka girl with a very satisfied look on her face.
"Well then, um, it's time to say good-bye to our new friends, and um...moving on." Hashirama said awkwardly.
The group was all gathered together and ushered into the seal that would return them to their home, the demon possessed Uzumaki who had been having a conversation with Mito about seals being the last of them.
"So, if I do this..." the demon possessed blond Uzumaki said as he poked at the seal that the group was herded into in order to be sent back to their world.
Mito managed to get out a yell of "No! Not..." before there was a brilliant flash of light that didn't look quite right and the group vanished.
"Oh...dear." Hashirama said when the group departed.
"Not our problem." Madara said before turning to leave and go get drunk.