Chapter four: Reminders

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, SM does

On top of the roof
The air is so cold and so calm
I say your name in silence
You don't wanna hear it right now
The eyes of the city
Are counting the tears falling down
Each one a promise
Of everything you never found
-Tokio Hotel, Don't jump

This time, the song does have too do with the chapter, can you guess what?

After we were done eating we stayed there for a little while and talked while we were waiting for the bill.

Edward didn't talk too me for the rest of the night. Well until we were done eating, because Alice and Jazz (found out his nickname about an hour after we got here), Rose and Emmett started talking and ignoring us again.

"Bella, I'm not kidding, what was that?" There was an edge of panic in his voice that I didn't understand, I mean we just met for fucks sake. Why does he give a shit about me?

"Edward, for fucks sake, I told you it was nothing, let it go." I wasn't trying too be mean too him, but well I was nervous about telling anyone that I cut myself, each cut was a reminder of some shit or another that went wrong in my life.

I haven't cut in a while because things haven't been so bad lately.

"Ok, I'm sorry, I don't mean too be pushy I just want too know what's gone wrong with your life that's lead too you cutting your wrists…"

"Look Edward, and I don't mean too be a bitch, but the only way that I'm going too tell you that is if we become close, as in best friends, or if we fall in love, and I really don't think that's going too happen. Well not anytime soon at least so can you just please drop it?"A look of hurt crossed his face, but it passed in a second so I couldn't tell if it was really there in the first place. Maybe I was starting to get delusional. Who knows?

"Yeah sure. Whatever you want."We got our check then so we each laid a little but of money on my table and left.

EPOV

Her words hurt. When she said she wasn't planning on becoming a close friend, or falling in love with me.

I wanted to get close too her. I wanted too know why she was like she was and why they did that too her.

I don't know how anyone could ever do that to a girl like her. She was amazing. Gorgeous. Fragile. Her hair looked so soft, even though it was black with multiple different colours in it, it was healthy looking. And her eyes. Her eyes were like the colour of milk chocolate. It was as if I could see right into her soul through her.

What the fuck was wrong with me? I don't think this about girls. I check out their body, and if its hot, I get in their pants. I don't look at their face and see if they were good looking, and even if I did I wouldn't study every feature of it and think it was the most gorgeous thing ever made.

"EDWARD?!" Someone shouted in my ear.

"No need to break my eardrum," I said under my breath.

"I heard that."

"Then I must be talking to Alice, because anyone else on this Earth would not be able to hear that."

"Yeah yeah, whatever. So what I was trying too say when you were off in your own -probably perverted- world was, do you need a ride back to campus? Or are you gonna get one with Em and Rose?"

I looked over at Bella just too find her staring at me. She blushed then looked away.

God could she be any cuter?

Ugh, there I go again. I seriously got to stop thinking about her like this. I mean, I didn't even know the girl for Christ sake.

Then I decided I wanted too get too know her better, to start things over so I didn't come off so pushy.

So I said to Alice, "Um I think I'll get a ride with you if that's Ok."

She looked excited. Why? Then she gave me that smile that said she was up to something. I glared but that just made her smile more."Common then Ed." She winked then went too the passenger side and got Jasper too drive. Oh. Was her plan to get me and Bella together? Sounds like something she'd do.

I sighed then got in the car next too Bella.

She looked kind of awkward so I broke the silence first, "Um, sorry about earlier, I didn't mean too be rude."

She looked at me for a second then looked ahead, "Yeah, its fine, I'm just… not used to people caring enough to ask so it was kind of odd for me, you know?"How could someone not care enough too ask why the fuck she cut her wrists. I mean come on.

I just nodded at her because I did get it, before I came here too college my parents never gave a fuck about me. That probably has a lot to do with the way I am now. The schools player that doesn't give shit about grades and can do whatever he wants because no ones going to punish him.

"Yeah.. I know." She looked at me questioningly but let it go. Didn't push me too tell her like I did. God I'm such a douche. (A/N: Haha today someone was being stupid and said douche had no "E". That's just a shout out to the person who's a dumb ass and was wrong. Yeah I know your not reading this but still. You know who you are.) I really shouldn't have pushed her like that. It was… well rude.

"And I'm sorry for saying that I wasn't planning on being your friend or anything like that. I think it would be nice too get to know you better," she said that was really unexpected. She didn't need too be sorry for that.I looked up and I saw Alice smiling in the rear-view mirror. Cocky little bastard. But she was my sister so therefore I am entitled to love her. Yeah, my life sucks I know.

"It's fine. And I think it would be nice too get to know you better."She smiled at me and then we pulled up into school grounds. Jasper was heading to drop the girls off at their dorm before us."I'll be counting on it," she grinned then opened up the car door because Jasper just pulled up too the girls dorm. She got out with a quick 'thank you' for Jasper then waited for Alice as she said bye to him.

They shared a quick goodbye kiss then Alice left and caught up with Bella and they left together.

While they were leaving the only thing I could think about was what it would be like too kiss Bella the way Jasper and Alice kissed.

I don't know what this girl was doing to me but I sure as hell didn't like it…

BPOV

On the way back too our room Alice and I talked, but really, all I could think about Edward. When I said I wanted to get to know him better I wasn't kidding. There was just something about him that made me want to get to know one thing I wasn't looking forward to was that I knew as me and Edward got closer, I would end up spilling my guts out to him. Why I cut myself. There were a bunch of reasons was to why I cut myself and I knew I was going to tell Edward one day.I don't know how I knew, but I did. And I wasn't looking forward to it. I knew he wouldn't tell anyone why I did, but I wasn't looking forward to it anyways.I just don't see how he noticed so quickly, the cuts. No one ever noticed them, no one paid enough attention too notice them.I was going to have to ask him about that.

I started paying attention to Alice's' babbling then."Oh I knew it! I knew you and Edward were going too become amazing friends! Oh my god! I bet your going to fall in love with him! I know it, I know it, I know it !"

"Alice!"

"What?"

"I am not going too fall in love with Edward! Why do you even think that?!"

"Because I'm good with people, I can always tell when someone is going to fall for someone and I know you two are going to fall for each other!"

"Yeah, we'll see about that…"

I wasn't going to fall for Edward. Sure I wanted to be friends with him and get to know him better. I don't know why I want to do that even. But I was not going to fall for Edward least I hope not.

***

When we got back to our room it was 11:00pm. Past curfew. (A/N: I'm gonna make their curfew 10:45pm) I was glad that no one saw not that I'm afraid to get in trouble, but its my first day of college, I really don't think I need to be in trouble already.

I brushed my teeth, called out goodnight to Alice then headed to my room.I put on a baggy, old band t-shirt, a pair of boy shorts then got in bed.I turned out the light next to my bed and tried to get to sleep, but all I could think about was Edward.

I looked at the clock and saw that it was could I not get to sleep?!

I climbed out of bed then went into the "living room". I turned on the TV and flipped through the channels but nothing good was on so I got a glass of water, chugged it, put it in the sink then went back to bed.I eventually got to sleep, but only to find myself dreaming about none other then Edward Cullen. The gorgeous man with his sexy hair and emerald-like amazing green eyes. I didn't want to dream about this so I woke up.

There was something wrong with me, I mean I'm dreaming about someone I just met today for fucks was something wrong with that wasn't there?

I started thinking about what Alive said, that I was going to fall for Edward.

And I just realised how true her words were.

I was falling for Edward Cullen and I was falling hard... again, there is something wrong with me.

PLEASE READ! IMPROTANT!

Ugh I hated that chapter. It was terrible but I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter four done though which is aw e s o m e ! I got bored yesterday so I took out a sheet of paper and started writing a story. In short its about this girl (Bella) who was abused her whole life, her father beat her mom to death and her brother left two years ago so she was living alone with her dad who was abused her and was a total drunk. She manages to lie to get away from her Dad. She was living out on the streets when she meets this Mystery Guy (Yeah, you know who he is) who takes her into his home so she's not homeless anymore. The story's going to be about her life there, and whatever else I think to put in it. And I was wondering if you guys wanted me to make it into a fan fiction?

Please send me your answer in a review, along with what you thought of this if you read the beginning where I put the song "Don't jump" by Tokio Hotel, then said it had something to do with the chapter, re-read the part: "Edward, for fucks sake, I told you it was nothing, let it go." I wasn't trying too be mean too him, but well I was nervous about telling anyone that I cut myself, each cut was a reminder of some shit or another that went wrong in my life."

No its not obvious, I tried to make it not be , but send me your guesses!

And..

Heartless Assassin: If I can find a place to put that in, and think of how to finish that part, I will use that idea, thought I'd let you know. I like the i d e a .

JacobLuver : I do know what happened to him, but that will be in later chapters, because Bella don't know yet. Well I think that's what's gonna happen.

Well anyways..

Review!

XxSofia

(god this is a damn long AN!)