Chapter 4

~The Unforgiven~

It wasn't long before Alice realized that the Hatter had taken her down this path once before, during her last visit to Underland. That trek, however, had been much less pleasurable than the current one. Rather than having to endure Hatter's dark prophetic poetry and talks of revolution, Alice was enjoying listening to him croon about dancing sea creatures. Occasionally, he would punctuate a phrase with a hop or shuffle step causing her to giggle and cling tighter to his shoulders.

"Will you walk a little faster, said a whiting to a snail, there's a porpoise close behind us and he's treading on my tail."

"What are you singing, Hatter?"

"This My Alice, is the Lobster Quadrille," He replied happily giving her a grin over his shoulder.

"The lobsters here dance?" Alice asked not really surprised that such a thing would be true.

"Of course. All of the well-bred ones, anyway. It's quite a fun dance once you get the hang of it. In fact, it's one of Mally's favorites which was why she was dancing when you came upon us this morning. It wasn't the proper Lobster Quadrille though, her being without a lobster and all, but she likes to stay in practice."

"How does it go?" Alice asked excitedly, knowing it had to be far better than the Quadrille danced Above.

"It will be much easier to show you rather than explaining it. But the showing will have to wait it's turn. The surprise must be seen first," Hatter said coming to a halt on the path.

They were about 25 metres away from the edge of the clearing that Alice knew had been the sight of a village razed by the Jabberwocky. She still wasn't quite sure what the ruins could hold that Hatter would consider a surprise, that was until she heard the distinct rhythmic sounds of construction echoing out of the clearing and through the forest. Hatter looked over his shoulder in time to see the smile spread across her face.

"Ok, the surprise is just ahead, but you must close your eyes, Alice. And no peeking."

"I wouldn't dream of peeking," Alice said as she closed her eyes.

"I should hope not," Hatter said bounding off toward the clearing. "Dreaming of peeking would be a rather wasted dream in my opinion, especially when one can dream of the possible things the surprise itself could be. Then there are all of the other wonderful things one might dream of..."

"Oh, Hatter," Alice giggled.

"Sorry."

"Don't be. When I was Above I would have given anything to hear you ramble."

"Really?"

"Yes, I missed you terribly." Alice felt Hatter's chest swell under her arms at this pronouncement.

"Well you're here now so we needn't miss each other anymore."

"Right you are," Alice said hugging him tighter.

Hatter stopped and Alice could hear the sounds of people hustling and bustling all around them.

"You can open your eyes now," Hatter said.

Alice's eyes where greeted with the sight of newly built, brightly painted cottages and shops, lush green grass almost as bright as her dear Hatter's eyes, and scores of happy people and creatures working away at unfinished construction projects.

"It's absolutely wonderful, isn't it?" Hatter asked as Alice slid off his back and onto the ground.

"It's so different now," Alice said in awe of the vast reconstruction that had occurred.

"No, laddie. It's the same as it always should have been."

Alice's attention was immediately drawn away from the tutu wearing platypus washing the windows of a nearby shop, when she heard Hatter's voice drop into his heavy, Outlandish brogue. Alice noticed his face had even darkened.

"Hatter, are you alright?" she asked gently taking his hand.

Her touch startled him causing his face and eyes to return to their normal colors. "I'm fine," he answered shaking his head slightly. "Look, there's the White Rabbit. Ho, McTwisp!" Hatter called as he led Alice across the square to where the high strung, white rabbit was directing the placement of what looked like festival bunting.

"No, no, no! Drape it in thirds, please, otherwise there won't be enough. Oh, hello Hatter," McTwisp replied distractedly. "Bill would you please stop messing around." The lizard who McTwisp had been directing slipped from his ladder and was currently swinging by the strip of cloth above a buttonberry bush.

"Oi, perhaps a little help here, Gov?" Bill called to them.

With a sigh McTwisp buried his face in his paws. "We'll never finish in time."

"Finish what?" Alice asked as Hatter went to help the lizard down.

"The festival preparations. Queen Mirana was adamant that..." McTwisp sputtered to a stop when he realized it was Alice who spoke to him. "Alice from Above? Champion Alice?"

"It is me, McTwisp," Alice said kneeling down to hug the excited rabbit. "But I'd prefer just plain Alice, if you don't mind."

Instead of the hug she had been expecting from her friend, McTwisp's breathing became more rapid and he swooned backwards.

"He's gone and worked himself up again," Bill the lizard said. "Easily fixed though," he added pulling a small bottle of smelling salts from the pocket of his jacket and holding it under the rabbit's nose.

"Same old, McTwisp," Alice chuckled.

"We had so hoped he would have calmed down after the White Queen regained the crown, but I think he would have stopped being McTwisp if that had happened," Hatter said as he helped the rabbit back to his feet.

"My apologies, Alice," McTwisp said straightening his waistcoat. "There is just so much to be finished and now that you're here there will be even more, I'm sure. Her Majesty wouldn't think of Not having you acknowledged if you're here. After all, if it weren't for you there wouldn't be this festival to prepare," he prattled rapidly.

"Slow down, McTwisp or you'll pass out again." Alice said taking his paws in her hands. "Now, what festival is this?"

"The Greventing festival," Hatter blurted out. "To celebrate the anniversary of your victory on Frabjous day, and the return of the crown to the White Queen." Alice turned to see the Hatter beaming with delight, "Surprise!"

"A surprise indeed," the rabbit huffed. "We hadn't expected the Champion herself to be present which will undoubtedly mean more preparation. And only 3 days to do it in."

"Things here already look amazing," Alice said still looking at the grinning Hatter causing him to blush. His blush brought a smile to Alice's face. She had hoped he would catch her meaning and his blush showed very obviously that while he may be mad, the Hatter was also very perceptive. Still smiling she returned her attention to McTwisp. "There's no need to change anything on my account."

"Tell that to Her Majesty. It's funny how even when you are not late, dear girl, you still cause problems." The smile on Alice's face fell at this chastisement, causing McTwisp to cough in embarrassment. "Not that I'm not happy to have you back, Alice dear. The preparations have just been exhaustive and..."

"You slurvish, berk Nivens!" Said Bill smacking McTwisp with his newsboy cap. "You should be ashamed. We couldn't be happier to have you back in Underland, Lady Alice. The festival will be all the better with you here to enjoy it. I'm Bill, by the way," he added with a bow.

"A pleasure to meet you Bill."

"The pleasure is all mine, Lady."

"Ye should apologize to the Alice," Hatter hissed into the poor rabbit's ear. His face didn't darken this time but Alice could hear his voice switch to the heavy Outlandish.

"Alice, I really didn't mean any disrespect. You see, Time has not been at all cooperative and he continues to rush by before I have a chance to finish anything and Greventing is so important." Alice smiled in pity at the easily worked up rabbit.

Alice pulled McTwisp into a warm embrace. "Just relax, McTwisp. You really are too excitable."

"But Time..." He began brandishing his large golden pocket watch.

"There will be plenty of it. You know Hatter makes his own time, perhaps you should try it?"

"I'm not sure that would work," Hatter said his gentle lisping voice returned. "You see if too many people start making their own Time, Time might catch on and just stop altogether. He really is such a fickle fellow. But I'm sure we can at least slow him down a bit for you."

"Yeah, that would do you well Nivens," Bill said producing a roll-up and some matches from his pocket. "Not to mention I could use a break, meself."

"I really don't think..."

"Nothing to worry about, old friend," Hatter said sitting himself on the grass next to the rabbit and taking the watch from his unresisting paws. From unseen pockets he withdrew a slim butter knife and what looked like a pot of jam. "March and I used to do this all the time before." The sentence died in his mouth as the Hatter's face grew black once again.

The silence in his head was terrifying. It wasn't even proper silence to Hatter's thinking. The absence of noise was so great, so penetrating that it roared. Silence shouldn't be loud, but this silence was. And it mocked his loneliness. Even the screams would have been welcome. Screams are at least proper noise and it would have meant that they were still with him.

"Hatter!" Alice cried breaking through the roaring silence in his head.

"Thank you," he gasped. "Ah yes, a bit of jam is all you'll need," Hatter said returning his attention to the pocket watch as though nothing had happened.

The sudden, dark changes to Hatter's mood were beginning to worry Alice. He had been perfectly normal, well as normal as his madness would allow, before they had arrived at the village.

"Are you sure," Alice began to ask but was interrupted by a loud coughing fit from McTwisp. She looked over to see him indicating through surreptitious gestures that she should stop asking questions.

"Oh, I'm quite sure this will work, My Alice. Squimberry jam is wonderfully thick and slows time down a treat." Hatter carefully replaced the back of the watch and handed it to McTwisp. "Now you'll have plenty of time."

"Er, thank you, Hatter." McTwisp said blandly as he realized yet another watch had been ruined by the helpful madman.

"You're most welcome. Now lets show Alice the fountain. I think you'll like it. The water is just your blue and I can introduce you to the lobsters," Hatter finished, helping Alice to her feet and leading them from the square to an area behind the shops.

"The lobsters are in Snud today, Hatter," McTwisp said timidly.

"Oh bother. I was hoping to show Alice their Quadrille. So why have the lobsters gone to Snud, if I may ask?" Hatter said cheerfully.

"The ones that were already here have family in Snud and they all decided to go along to bring the others here for Greventing."

"How sweet," Alice exclaimed. "Will anyone from your family be coming to the festival, Hatter?"

Hatter stopped dead in his tracks and Alice saw his eyes flash orange. McTwisp gave another loud cough to get Alice's attention but she was too concerned with the obvious battle of emotions that was taking place on Hatter's face.

Finally, after much effort the blackness left his face and his eyes settled on their normal green. "Well, of course March and Mally will be coming. I know neither one would want to miss such a fun event," Hatter answered.

"That's not exact..." Once again Alice was cut off by an extremely loud, prolonged coughing fit from McTwisp.

"That is a terrible cough you have there, McTwisp," Hatter said solicitously. "Would you like me to pop over to Omaque's apothecary and see if she has any throat drops?"

"That would be very kind," McTwisp sputtered through his fake coughs.

"I'll just be a minute then," Hatter said rushing off.

"What where you thinking, Alice?" McTwisp snapped angrily.

"What are you talking about? All I did was inquire about Hatter's family."

McTwisp sighed, "He never told you then?"

"Told me what?"

"About what happened here on Horunvendush Day."

"All Hatter ever told me was that it was destroyed by the Jabberwocky."

"He didn't lie, but he didn't tell you everything either." McTwisp pulled a hankie from his pocket and dabbed at the sweat that was forming on his forehead. "Has it never struck you as odd that Tarrant and Thackery prefer to be address by their titles rather than their given names?" He asked sitting on the edge of the fountain and beckoning Alice to do the same.

"No, I just assumed it was their fancy." She replied taking a seat next to the rabbit.

"It was just a mere fancy when you where here as a child. They had always enjoyed being known for their madness. That all changed on Horunvendush Day, though." McTwisp stopped and took a deep breath to calm himself before continuing. "On that day the Jabberwocky destroyed the entire Hightopp clan, save for one. What saved poor Tarrant was his loyalty to Queen Mirana. He helped her to escape leading her far into the safety of Tulgey Wood before returning to the village. By the time he returned the Jabberwocky had finished his bloody deed. Thackery's family, the Earwicket's, were also killed. Tarrant found him and Mallymkun hiding in a burrow under some tree roots. Thackery had been fighting to keep Mally from running out to join the battle. Had he let go of her she probably would have been lost too. The sight of the carnage drove Thackery deeper into his madness. And Tarrant became obsessed with the prophecy regarding the Jabber's defeat and bringing an end to the Red Queen's rule. They have both gotten a little better since Frabjous Day, especially Tarrant, but their given names reminded them too much of what they lost so they stopped using them."

"Why does Chessur still use their names then?" Alice asked wiping away tears she hadn't realized she shed.

"Chess has always felt that if one forgets who they really are then they'll lose their Muchness. So he uses their given names to remind them who they are."

"Then why shouldn't I remind Hatter who he is? And Thackery too. Maybe talking about it will help."

"I doubt it, Alice. You see Tarrant's face and how he acts. Even though this place has been rebuilt the memories still haunt him. And Thackery. Well, honestly a lot of Thackery's Muchness came from his original madness. I don't think he really tried to use it to forget who he was but rather just to forget what he saw on Horunvendush Day. Would you make it worse by badgering them?"

"No, but," Alice began.

"Then don't bring it up. I'm sure the memorial will be hard enough for them to deal with. Now be quiet he's coming back."

Hatter returned whistling what Alice was sure was another verse from the Lobster Quadrille. "There you are McTwisp," he said removing a small bag from his pocket and placing it into the white rabbit's paws. "Those should take care of that nasty cough."

"Thank you, Hatter," McTwisp muttered staring at the bag as though it would give him the answers to all life's questions.

"And look at these, Alice," Hatter twittered plopping down next to her on the edge of the fountain and removing another small bag. "If you eat one, bubbles will come out of your ears. I thought it would be fun to try." Giggling he reached into the bag bringing out what looked like two green pastilles and gave Alice one. "Can you imagine how big the bubbles will be if March eats one?" Just as he was about to eat it, McTwisp let out a great sigh and stopped him.

"Hatter, there is something you need to see before you eat that?"

"Oh, what is it?" Hatter asked curiously.

"It's, it's, well, Her Majesty sent something for you and the March Hare." Alice noticed McTwisp's breathing was becoming very shallow as he spoke.

"Odd that she should send it here and not the Mill House. Did she forget where we live?"

"No, she didn't forget. She wanted it brought here. It's, it's a, a me, mem," McTwisp was shaking now. "Why don't you just go have a look for yourself, eh?"

"Well, if it's for both March and I, perhaps I should wait until he's with me."

"You don't have to wait. Actually, it would probably be better if you didn't wait."

"Well, if waiting will make it worse, I won't. Where is it?"

"Just over that hill. On the edge of the sugar grass fields."

"That's just perfect then. I'm quite sure you haven't seen the sugar grasses in bloom," he said taking Alice's hand.

"Perhaps Alice would rather stay here," McTwisp said looking with pleading, scared eyes at Alice.

"Thank you, McTwisp, but I think I would rather like to see the sugar grasses." Alice answered firmly. It would be cruel to let Hatter face such an emotional memorial alone, and even if the White Rabbit thought she may be in danger if Hatter slipped into one of his rages, Alice knew different. In her heart, she knew that even in his most mad and violent state he would never harm her.

"Wonderful!" Hatter exclaimed. "It was good seeing you, my friend. I should be at court tomorrow but if you're not there we'll see you at the Greventing Festival. Come, My Alice. Fairfarren, McTwisp."

"Fairfarren to you both," the rabbit squeaked.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

When they reached the top of the hill, Hatter who had been telling Alice all about the sugar grass blooms fell silent. Sitting back from the edge of the hill was a large trellis covered in white roses and beneath that trellis was an inscribed pillar of quartz, no taller than Alice herself.

Hatter stepped forward to read the inscription. "Good men must die, but death cannot kill their names," he mumbled. He was motionless for a moment before launching himself at the pillar. He punched and kicked the pillar, clawed at the inscribed list of names below the epitaph, and tore at the flowers winding around the trellis. All the while bellowing at the top of his lungs in torment and anger.

"Hatter! Hatter stop!" Alice cried desperately. Calling his name had always worked in the past, why wasn't it working this time. It was then she remembered what McTwisp had told her. "Tarrant stop!"

Alice's use of his given name startled Hatter out of his frenzy of destruction. Falling to his knees before the quartz memorial, the screams of rage quickly became sobs of misery.

Alice dropped down next to him, wrapping her arms around his shaking, grief wracked body. There was nothing she could think to say or do that could possibly assuage such pain, so Alice settled on murmuring quieting sounds.

After what seemed like hours, Hatter's tears finally stopped and he spoke, his Outlandish brogue thicker because of the grief.

"Do ye have any idea how painful and lonely it is being the last one?"

"I'd be lying if I said I did," Alice said stroking Hatter's back to keep him calm.

"I failed that day."

"But you saved Queen Mirana. I wouldn't call that a failure."

"But I was too slow to save any of my family," He snapped. "I saw my own sister fall to the Jabberwocky because I was too slow. Those who died knew my failure and screamed in my head for revenge. I thought they'd forgive me after the Frabjous day, but they didn't. They just left me alone in horrible silence."

"Did you think, that perhaps the silence is because the victory on Frabjous day set them free?"

"No, me boy. Their silence is a sure sign of disinheritance. I'm not worthy of the clan name."

"That's not true. That can't be true," Alice said turning his face up to hers. Never had she seen Hatter's eyes a darker, sadder shade of blue. "If you weren't worthy then surely the voices of your family wouldn't have trusted you to avenge them. If you weren't a worthy member of your clan would the Queen have erected this memorial in honor of them and your efforts?" Alice noticed Hatter's eyes begin to slowly brighten. "And I may not be a Hightopp, but I know that your bravery, skill and service to the White Queen has brought nothing but honor to your family's name."

"How do you always know what to say?" Hatter asked trying desperately to grin.

"I don't," Alice answered wiping away what remained of the tears on his cheeks. "Be proud of what you've accomplished Tarrant, and don't forget that your Muchness makes you a Hightopp through and through." Gradually the grin reappeared on Hatter's face. "I'll never get tired of seeing you smile, Hatter."

His grin now even more firmly in place, Hatter stood up pulling Alice with him. "Will you help me find a rock?" he asked.

"Of course I will," Alice replied confused by this odd request. "But whatever for?"

"To show I'm a true Hightopp." The answer was said with such seriousness that Alice didn't ask for a further explanation.

After a few minutes of searching Alice found a grey stone slightly smaller than her fist.

"Will this do?"

"That's perfect," he said taking the rock from Alice's hand and leading her back to the memorial.

With great solemnity Hatter knelt down, placed the rock next to the pillar and spoke the words "Cuiridh mi clach air do chàrn." After a moment of silence Hatter returned to his feet. A tender smile on his face, Hatter grasped Alice's hands. "Thank you for reminding me of my Muchness, Alice. I had been so lonely I was beginning to forget all about it."

"You needn't be lonely now that I'm here, Hatter," Alice said squeezing his hands.

"But your visits are always so dreadfully short." The smile fell from his face at this realization. "What will I do once you've left again?"

"You won't ever have to worry about that because I'm never leaving you or Underland again," Alice said smiling wider than Chessur.

The Unforgiven by Metallica

Well this chapter took me far longer to write than I would have liked, but on the bright side chapter 5 is already done so that will be up tomorrow. I really hope this didn't come off as too cheesy. I just think some of Hat's REALLY odd behavior is caused by trauma and how his mad mind deals with it.

Cuiridh mi clach air do chàrn is a Scottish / Gaelic memorial phrase meaning I will place a rock on your cairn.

To CaptainBillyTheWerewolf: Don't worry, it's not mean at all. I actually really appreciate constructive criticism and praise. :)

Thanks again for all the reviews it really is very encouraging and awesome.

Lil' Miss Rock N' Roll