I apologize for the long delay in posting an updated chapter. Thanks to all of you who have continued to follow and reviews are much appreciated.

~~TTP~~TTP~~TTP~~TTP~~TTP~~

There were a great many things he knew he should be aware of, but only one was forefront in his mind; the familiar weight on his chest. He kept his eyes closed for a minute more as he lifted his hand, anticipating the softness of her hair even before his fingers made contact. Tears came to his eyes, when finally he opened them.

"Hi Daddy."

He bussed her cheek with his knuckles and gave her a watery grin. "Hi sweetheart."

"You can't keep doing this, dad." Somehow she managed to frown while smiling. "You know that, right?"

"Wasn't trying to get shot, honey."

Kelly sat up and gave him a sad look. "But you weren't trying NOT to either."

Gibbs tried to sit up, a rational part of his brain knowing he couldn't with his injuries, but it wasn't pain or lack of mobility that stopped him; it was Kelly's hand on his arm and her firm, "Stop."

"You'll wake her and she's barely slept in the last forty-eight hours."

He looked over Kelly's shoulder and there she was, her head resting by his feet, fast asleep.

"Abby? What's she doing here?"

"Praying you don't die." Kelly stated, the concern evident in her forever youthful voice. "Hoping this will be the last time she has to watch you in a hospital bed, fighting for your life...begging God to not let you die."

There were at least a dozen ways he could try to deny any of this was his fault, but each time he tried to open his mouth he could see the cold truth in his daughter's eyes and he couldn't get the first word to cross his lips. So, instead, he settled on, "I never meant for my life to be this way, Kels. It was supposed to be you, your mom and me forever."

"No, dad. It wasn't."

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Tim clicked off his desk lamp and rubbed his tired, burning eyes. He'd done all he could do. The last twenty-four hours felt more like a week and he hadn't slept a minute of it. He was seriously contemplating just curling up under his desk and going to sleep right here. The thought of being under a desk in the bullpen instantly made him think of Kate and he smiled wistfully. Wasn't it a million years ago that Kate had dragged him out from under her desk by his ear? That had been even before he'd been the Probie on Gibbs team. A million years ago, he sighed, and yet only yesterday.

These walls echoed with voices of those lost or gone, and tonight they were so loud that they nearly drowned out the thoughts in his mind.

"McGee?"

The young man jumped nearly out of his chair. "Director? I thought you'd gone home,sir."

"There's a lot of paperwork and phone calls involved when you have an injured agent, a dead terrorist, an officer involved shooting and you're down two agents in your MCRT and one forensic scientist." He loosened his tie and with a grunt, pulled it from his neck and stuffed it carelessly in his coat pocket. "Did you find her?"

Tim frowned and shook his head. "I left messages everywhere I could think she might be or check in, but no one's seen her or if they have..." he shrugged, letting the rest hang in the ethos.

"How is Officer Teague?"

"There will be an investigation, but it was a good shoot and I'm confidant she'll be cleared. Formality, you know how it goes, McGee."

"Yes, sir." Tim shook his head, partly because it still boggled his mind sometimes and partly to keep himself awake. "Why do they think they can just make a break for it like that? I don't agree with what he did, any of it, but there's no denying that Budd was a genius. Yet, he thought he could get away on foot with armed agents all over the place like that? It doesn't make sense why they even try."

Vance leaned back against Tony's desk, flipping the toothpick from one side of his mouth to the other. "With some, I think it's pure desperation. When the weight of what they've done crashes down around their heads and they realize that their lives as they know it is basically over, they make one last, crazy attempt for freedom. And some," his jaw clenched, "like Budd just turn into cowards. I don't think he ever thought he could get away, McGee. I think Budd knew he would be shot and he ran because it was easier than being accountable for his actions. Everyone's a bad*** until they get caught."

"Any more word on Gibbs?"

"Holding his own for the time being. Not awake yet. Same as the last time Tony talked to you." Vance heaved himself up. "Go home, Tim. You're my team leader right now and I'm gonna need you."

"Yes, sir." Tim gathered his go bag and searched his pocket for his keys. It took him nearly half a minute to realize they were on his desk in front of him.

"Come on, McGee. My driver will drop you off on our way. I don't want you wrapped around a telephone pole."

He thought about protesting and then changed his mind. It wasn't a good idea to drive when he was this tired and he knew it. "Thank you, Director."

~~TTP~~TTP~~TTP~~TTP~~TTP~~

Gibbs looked around, taking in the new location. Instantly knowing where they were. "That was a great weekend."

"I loved it when we came out here. The memory is a little tainted though, since the day you came out here and sat with your gun under your chin."

His face fell and he hung his head. He'd often wondered what Shannon and Kelly would think of him and his life if they could see him, but it hadn't occured to him or maybe he hadn't allowed it to, that they would see those moments of complete weakness. "That was a big low, Kelly. I never wanted you to see that. I haven't ever done that again."

"But you have, daddy. You've just done it more passively."

He felt the weight of her hand on his arm and slowly lifted his head, looking at her with shame filled eyes. Salty breeze caught her hair and lifted it and it nearly made him cry at the memory.

"You have to stop, daddy. The blame, the self-hate, thinking you're the reason people you love die. Mom and I died because Pedro Hernandez chose to live a life of crime and kill people to protect himself. Kate died because Ari chose to let his hatred for what his father did control his life. Jenny died because she couldn't bring herself to kill someone and that came back to haunt her. Ned died because Budd-"

"Okay, Kel! I hear you. I know I didn't kill anyone directly, but...if..." He was choking on the words. This was a conversation a father never wanted to have with his daughter; to have to admit failure. "I may not have been directly responsible for their deaths, but if I hadn't been in their lives, maybe...maybe those people who were so angry with me wouldn't have taken it out on them."

"And do you ever think about where their lives may have gone without you in them or that their lives turned out just the way it was meant to. You waste so much time being afraid to love with your whole heart...the way you used to love me and mom. Daddy," Kelly took his face in her hands. "You have to stop wasting every chance he gives you."

"Who gives me? What chances?"

Kelly looked at him with that infamous Gibbs stare. People often credited it to him; little did they know that the look was actually Shannon's originally. "Him." Kelly's eyes drifted skyward. "And the chances are chances to love again; to love with all your heart the way you're meant to."

He shook his head. "Honey, sometimes God gives ya one person you were meant to love and-"

"And sometimes he gives you more. Of course you were meant to love mom. You and mom taught each other how to love. Mom says you two grew up together and fell in love over and over again."

He smiled. That was true. His first love. The love that taught him how to live for another. Then again, when Kelly was born. So many times he thought he couldn't love Shannon any more than he did at that moment and then time proved him wrong and he fell in love with her more. "I have tried, Bean, but your mom..." Kelly was shaking her head and he puttered out. "Okay. The ex-wives were me trying to move on and it was for the wrong reasons. I really did like them though, even thought a time or two that it was love but I just was being too cautious. Nothing feels the same. Nobody makes me feel the way your mom did, Kelly and that's the kind of love that's worth it all."

"Look, Dad. We don't have a lot of time. You need to wake up soon and start fighting, really fighting. There are going to be a lot of changes in your life and they're going to be hard...maybe the hardest, but I promise you it'll all be worth it. This, coming up, it's your destiny, dad. You were meant to do this."

"Nothing could be harder than losing you and your mom." he said, sounding more defeated then ever.

"No, daddy!" Kelly pleaded. "Please, you have to stop making everything in your life about losing me and mom. We know you love us. We know we meant the world and more to you and we feel the same about you, but you...you..." She paced back and forth rapidly, kicking sand all around in her frenzied pace. Her pitch rose with her frustrated desperation to make him understand. If he couldn't come to terms...he'd never live the life he was meant to. She spun toward him again, her feet firmly planted and eyes blazing into his. "You think you're honoring our memory by holding back your heart, not letting yourself be truly happy and love someone again?! You disgrace our memory! Loving us the way you did, us loving you...that should have taught you how precious a gift love is! It's meant to be shared! Experienced every day! You've been so close for so long! All you had to do was open your eyes and see it. Reach out and touch her, love her and let yourself be loved. Stop living your life like the only thing left is to sacrifice yourself for not being home to die with us! You were spared for a reason!"

To say he was stunned would have been an understatement. Even if he ignored the tone and shouting, the things she was saying...disgracing their memory by not letting himself love...that stung worse than gettin' shot. Was she right? "Kel, I..."

"Trust your gut, daddy. Trust your heart even more. Be the man mom fell in love with but more importantly, you've got to be the man loving her made you. You hiding it away makes it worthless. Don't make it worthless, daddy."

His stomach began to ache, not surprising given the painful topic at hand. But then Kelly started fading, or getting further away? He couldn't tell because the ache was turning into a white hot, searing pain piercing his gut and radiating through his whole body. His vision blurred and he broke into a sweat. He could barely see Kelly now and he reached for her like his life depended on it.

"Fight. Fight for the life you were meant to have...for me, for mom...for all of us."

He opened his mouth but only a pain filled groan escaped. But he suddenly felt fingers, slender fingers between his own right before the pain forced his eyes shut tight and blackness overtook him.

TBC...

As I said in earlier A/N's, I was fond of Kelly's appearance so I borrowed th idea and tried to make it my own for the most part (at least as far as dialogue is concerned). I do not own any of it (besides the dialogue) and meant no copyright infringement. Also, I know this is shorter than what I usually post but it seemed like a natural place to stop for now. Hoping for more soon. Thank you to all who have reviewed, favorited and followed. Thanks, Goats, for that nudge I needed my friend. All mistakes are mine.