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Big thank you hugs to Snarkymuch for beta'ing and Gredelina1, Arrr and Mary-Alice-Brandon-Cullen for pre-reading. Love you ladies.
This chapter is dedicated to DutchGirl01, bluefire-33, Grace2009, Rachaelc1994 and WhitlocksHevyn. The song for the last chapter was Don't Leave Me by All-American Rejects
Chapter Four — All the Way Home
Edward POV
"I love you, but if you don't let me go now we are going to miss our flight," Bella said. Her voice was muffled as she was speaking into Emmett's chest.
"I'm okay with that," he said happily. "Then you'd have to wait for the next flight, and I would have more time to explain why the world sucks and you should stay home."
"I'll bring you back a nice souvenir," she coaxed. "Something gaudy."
"How gaudy?"
"Something so horrible, Rose will refuse to allow it into the house," she said, gently extricating herself from his grip. "We'll be back before you know it." She stood on tiptoes to kiss his cheek, hugged Rosalie one last time, and picked up her bag.
Emmett had offered to drive us to the airport and was making the most of this last chance to change our mind. We had said our goodbyes to the rest of the family at the house, with the exception of Esme - who had been a little emotional - they had been understanding and wished us well.
Now as we walked to our gate, I finally allowed myself to relax. We were really going.
We were going to fly to Seattle and then hire a car to take us to Forks. The Volvo was still in the garage there, but I was hoping I could persuade Bella to buy a SUV for the trip. She was planning to take my idea to backpack literally; I thought one cross country train ride in a compartment with sweaty humans would curb that desire.
Carlisle had been understandably cautious about Bella's control around humans. I had seen her memories of her journey back to us, and thought if two years of starvation hadn't caused her to slip, it was doubtful an airplane of people would. She had humored him though, and went into town with Emmett and Jasper ready to restrain her in case she showed signs of losing control. She had chatted with shopkeepers while replenishing her paltry wardrobe and book collection, not a trace of bloodlust in her.
"Are you okay, love?" I asked as the plane taxied down the runway.
She was staring out of the window with a pensive expression. "I'm fine," she said distractedly.
"Looking forward to going home?" I asked.
"I'm not going home."
I puzzled over that for a moment, trying to make sense of her words. "I don't understand."
She smiled. "I'm not going home. Too much bad stuff happened in Forks for me to ever be able to call it home now. Wherever you and the family are, that's my home now."
"I thought you wanted to go back. Why didn't you say something? We don't have to go there. We can get a connection from Seattle and go somewhere else."
She smiled sadly. "I don't want to go back, but I need to. I have to make my peace with the place, and the memories, before I can move on."
"But it's going to hurt you."
She patted my arm. "Yes, but I will be better for it."
I had vowed when she came back to me that I would never let her be hurt again. I wanted to protect her from this pain, but at the same time I knew she was right; she needed to do this. At least this time I would be there to help her through.
"Have I mentioned how much I love you today?"
"Only a few times," she teased. "I can always stand to hear it again though."
"I love you Isabella Swan, I love you with all my heart." I pulled her into my side, pressed a kiss to her temple, and spent the rest of the flight declaring my love to her in every language I knew.
xXx
We arrived in Forks just as dusk was falling.
I had called Sam when we landed at Seattle and arranged to meet some of the pack at the old baseball clearing.
I did not have the same relationship with them as the rest of the family, having not been there for the weeks of training and the fight against Victoria's newborns. They had helped us search in the days immediately after Bella left us, but I had barely noticed them, I was too caught in my own fear and guilt.
There was a certain degree of anxiety attached to this meeting, at least there was for me. Bella seemed excited about seeing them again.
"They're almost here," I said when their thoughts registered in my mind.
Her smile widened when the sound of their footsteps reached us. "They're coming as human?"
"That would be a loose definition of the term," I said.
She punched my arm. "You know what I mean. They aren't phased."
"Apparently they trust us."
"Of course we do," a rough male voice called. "Well, Bella at least."
"Jared!" Bella squealed, running towards him.
When she reached him, he pulled her into his arms and spun her round.
"Well look at you, gotta say the eyes are an improvement," he said, giving her an appraising look. "How have you been? I heard you took up deep sea diving."
"Emmett?" she guessed.
"Yep. Imagine our surprise when we get a phone call out of the blue from a delirious vampire telling us he had amazing news. We thought it was another army of newborns to fight, gotta say it was a bit of a disappointment to hear it was just you. We haven't had any action since you guys left, patrols are more like nature walks now."
She laughed. "Yeah, yeah, I know you missed me really."
"We did," a new voice said. Two more figures stepped out of the trees. I recognized the speaker as Sam Uley the alpha, but the other was unfamiliar. "Hello, Bella."
"Hi, Sam, Paul. It's good to see you. How are you?"
"We are well, Emily sends her love. She wanted to come too, but we weren't sure about…"
"You weren't sure if I would go nom-nom on your fiancé?" she teased.
"Wife now," he said. "We were married last year. I admit, I was a little cautious. How have you been?"
"You mean, how many have I killed?"
He nodded. "I understand you had a difficult time."
"I did, and I killed loads." Their eyes widened at her announcement and she continued. "Quite a few moose, a couple of bears, and one unfortunate mountain lion that crossed my path. No humans though."
Jared laughed. "I told you she wouldn't. She's Bella."
"I am. I got lucky though, I don't have the same attraction to human blood as the others."
"So, you are able to be around humans?" Sam asked. I wondered at the questioning, but saw the answer in his mind.
"No," I hissed vehemently.
"What's going on?" she asked.
"Billy Black wants to speak with you," I explained.
"Oh!" Her voice was little more that a whisper.
"Not just Billy, Emily would like to see you too. It is entirely your choice, but I promised I would extend an invitation."
"You don't have to do this, Bella," I said. "You don't owe him anything."
"I know. I think I should though," she said thoughtfully.
"And Emily?" Sam asked.
"I definitely want to see her. We are going back to the house later, do you want to come there, or shall we meet you somewhere neutral?"
"The house will be fine, Emily will be more comfortable there. She has a surprise for you, but has sworn me to secrecy," Sam said.
I saw the secret in his thoughts and my eyes widened. If there was ever something that would prove the changed relationship between my family and the wolves, this was it. Sam and Emily had a child.
You saw it? Sam questioned, and I nodded.
Will she be able to handle it? I nodded curtly, though I was not entirely certain. Her bloodlust was not an issue, nor her strength; it was seeing the child that concerned me.
xXx
I stood at the gate and watched her walking forwards with obvious trepidation. She had asked me to give her a moment with him alone, and now I was regretting my ready agreement. I wanted to be with her for this.
She finally reached him and knelt before the granite marker, tracing the lettering with a finger.
"Hi, Daddy," she choked.
Her voice became a whisper, but of course I could hear anyway. She was telling him everything that had happened while he was gone. Every moment of happiness and pain she had lived through was told in heartbreaking detail. When she told him of my return, her voice broke.
"He came back, Dad. He came back to me. I know I hurt you, I wish I could take back those last few months with you. I would have made sure you knew how much I loved you. I'm sorry I lied, I was trying to protect you from that world. I love you so much, and I am so sorry…"
Her words failed as her grief overtook her. Unable to bear it any longer, I hurried to her side and pulled her into my arms. Her body shook with the force of her sobs, and I cried with her. Clinging to each other in the darkness, we cried. Her pain was my pain.
"He knew, Bella," I said, when her sobs trailed off. "He knew how much you loved him, and he loved you too."
"I didn't have enough time, I should have visited more. We only had a year together."
"You only had a year, but I know that was the best year of his life. He had you here with him and it made him so happy."
"I can't be here anymore," she whispered into my chest.
"Then we can go." I rose to my feet and held out a hand to her.
She knelt and pressed a kiss to his name, then took my hand and together we walked away from her father's grave.
xXx
She stood outside the door to the library, her head leaning against the wall. It was the exact position I had been in as I tried to find the strength to cross the threshold and see the consequences of my choices. Alice had been the one to give me the strength that day, and now I was doing the same for Bella.
"Come on, love. I'm here, it won't be as bad as you think."
I knew she needed to do this. She had to see the place she had spent her last weeks as a human, but I wished I could shield her from it. She took a deep breath and allowed me to lead her inside.
She gasped. "It's the same. I didn't think it would still be here."
None of us had thought to change the room back to its previous state after she fled; all of our attention was directed towards the search. In the rare moments we were at the house, we avoided the room. It was hers, and the memories it evoked were something none of us wanted to face.
Everything was covered in a fine layer of dust, other than that it was exactly as she had left it. The machinery that had been vital in saving her was pushed against the wall, the sheets on the bed were still crumpled, and the book Jasper had been reading to her when she made her last declaration was on the chair where it had been thrown.
She sat down on the bed and looked around the room. "It's strange you know. I remember all the smells, but the sounds are gone. It was so loud all the time; I hated the noise."
She switched on the stereo and a CD of Chopin's nocturnes began to play. "This was Esme's. They all had different music. I knew who was with me by the music when I would wake."
I hadn't asked her about the months I missed. I had seen the memories from the family, but I didn't know how it felt for her. Now I risked the question.
"It hurt sometimes. I hated the breathing tube, it would scratch my throat. The ECMO didn't feel like anything, it was just there. I liked it when they would hold my hand, it made me feel connected to them, it was comforting."
I sat beside her and took her hand in mine. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."
"So am I, but you're here now and that's what matters."
There was a strange tension in the silence that followed her words. It felt like the things that had passed within this room were a physical presence weighing us down.
"Do you think a hospital would take these," she said, gesturing to the bank of machines. "They are just sitting here going to waste. They could save someone else."
"They could. I will call Carlisle and see if he can make the arrangements. Speaking of things that are going to waste, there is a neglected piano downstairs…"
She beamed at me. "My lullaby?"
"As you wish."
She ran from the room, and a moment later I could hear the gentle sound of fabric against polished wood as she dusted it off.
Rising slowly to my feet, I gave the room one last sweeping look and pulled the door closed behind me. Happy that those memories, at least, had been laid to rest.
xXx
We spent the rest of the night at my piano. I played to her while she rested her head against my shoulder. Sometimes she would lift her shield allowing me to hear her thoughts when a particular song triggered an especially poignant memory for her.
I would have been happy to stay like that for the rest of the day, but reality intervened in the form of a phone call from Sam telling us they would be with us by late morning.
Bella had gone on a cleaning spree in preparation, and I had been ordered into town to buy supplies. We – or rather the wolves – had told people she was going to Switzerland for experimental treatment, rather than staging her death. I'd wanted her to have the option of returning at some point, though there were only a few more years before people would start noticing our lack of aging.
Though she was comfortable allowing people to know she was alive, she didn't want to see people. I was instructed to say as little as possible if questioned, something I was fairly competent at. Before Bella entered my life, I had been so quiet I once heard two girls discussing the possibility of me being a deaf mute.
When I got back to the house, Bella was finishing up the cleaning and humming to herself. I stood in the doorway watching her for a moment, just enjoying the scene.
"Having fun," she said, not turning her attention from the window she was cleaning.
"I am. You are the very image of domestic bliss."
She laughed and threw the cloth at my head. "You finish this off for me, and I will get to work in the kitchen."
"I don't think they are coming to inspect the house, love."
"I know that, but I want to make a good showing anyway. You clean the windows and I will make cookies."
She took the bag of groceries from me, and I moved to follow, but she stopped me with a stern look. "Windows, Mr. Cullen."
Sighing heavily, I got to work. Though I couldn't see what she was doing behind the closed door, she seemed to be having fun; there was a great deal noise anyway.
When I finally finished my task, I went to the kitchen and was momentarily stunned by the sight before me. There were baking trays covering every surface, some with baked cookies fresh from the oven, and others awaiting their turn to bake.
"Bella, you do know there are only three people coming don't you?" I asked.
She looked around at the chaos with a rueful smile. "I may have got a little carried away. I never realized how useful vampire speed could be in the kitchen. Besides, Sam is coming, you'd be amazed how much food the wolves go through."
"Let's hope he's hungry then."
"If you are going to make fun of me, you can go find something else to do. I am enjoying my moment of domestic bliss."
"Then I will stay silent and enjoy it with you," I said, seating myself at the counter.
She had just taken the last batch of cookie from the oven when I heard the sound of a car pulling onto the drive.
"They're here," she said with a slightly panicked expression. "I haven't even made the coffee yet."
"Relax, love," I soothed, wrapping my arms around her waist. "I will go greet them, while you make the coffee."
This was more for my benefit than for hers. I wanted a moment with Billy before they came in. I was anxious about what he might say to her. As far as I knew, she hadn't mentioned Jacob once since she had been told of his death, and I was unsure what her reaction to him would be.
They were just getting out of the car when I opened the front door. Sam was helping Billy into his wheelchair, and Emily was unlatching the car seat holding her sleeping son.
"Where's Bella?" Billy asked when he caught sight of me.
"She's inside, I wanted to speak to with you first."
"What do you want to know?"
"It's what I want you to know actually. Bella is different, and I'm not just talking about her change. I have no idea how she will react to seeing you again, and I want you to be careful of what you say to her. I understand you lost your son, but she has lost a lot too."
"I understand, that is why I am here," he said solemnly.
I nodded and helped Sam to lift him up the steps. I led them into the house and gestured Emily into the kitchen. I thought she and Bella would want privacy for their reunion, and I wanted to give Bella a little time before being faced with Billy.
I heard Emily's breath catch as she saw Bella, her thoughts revealing her shock. The last time she had seen her was when Bella was still desperately ill.
"Hello, Bella," she said quietly.
I heard the sound of them embracing and Bella's whispered words of gratitude. I understood Emily had been pivotal in saving Bella after the encounter with Victoria.
"I hear you have a surprise for me?" Bella said.
"I do, I want you to meet someone." They came out into the lounge together. Bella gave Billy a passing glance before seeing the bundle in Sam's arms.
"Oh, Emily," she gasped. "When?"
"Three months now. Would you like to hold him?"
"Really?" Bella's smile was dazzling.
"As long as you can control that super strength of yours," Sam teased.
"I promise," she said, nodding eagerly.
With exceptional care, Sam placed the baby into Bella's waiting arms. Her expression was elated.
"Beautiful baby," she cooed. "What did you call him?"
Sam cleared his throat awkwardly. "Jacob."
I expected Bella to react with shock, but as always she surprised me. Looking down at the tiny figure in her arms, she smiled beautifully.
"Hello, Jacob."
Thanks to all that read and reviewed. If you would like a teaser from the next chapter let me know in a review or PM.
Once again thanks to Mary-Alice-Brandon-Cullen for the lyrics. Guess the song and artist and I will dedicate the next chapter to you.
~ I look around me, And I want you to be there 'Cause I miss the things that we shared. ~