A/N: Sarah's story should be finished in this chapter. Casey I've given more of a Robert Loggia in Jagged Edge feel for his character, so his communication will be grunts and the F-word.

Chuck vs. a Cup of Coffee

Chapter 4

As Sarah was telling the tales of her missions after dealing with Bryce something began to bother Chuck and he could tell it was bothering her as well because she was getting a little quieter and distant with each passing one.

"Sarah, I'm here; and I will be here forever or at least as long as you want me to. You don't need to go into these details for me; especially the totals."

"It does matter Chuck, you need to know what I am."

"Sarah, I know who you are and what you've had to do is not what you are. Is bringing the numbers up helping you?" Sarah shook her head, "Ok how about this? Every other night we can go more in depth on a mission that troubled you and we can dissect it and see if there was a better way. Frankly though with the odds on all these missions getting worse as you went on it is difficult to imagine with the limited time and Jimmy's actions to do anything other than what you had to do."

"Really?" Came out amidst a choked sob.

"Really. I know while you were here my aversion to the sometime consequence of your work hampered you and Casey. With Forrest here it became a reversion to more of standard operating procedure. Having to sit in Castle and watch it wasn't great, in fact once the mission started they would turn down the sound on my end and I would have to send a beep to Casey, or Forrest, when I flashed on something."

"A beep?"

"I literally had to send a text message saying 'beep'. They didn't want me to use the word 'flash' in case others could intercept the text."

"That sounds safe, but not really efficient."

"I think that's why Casey was pulling for me to get back in the field; at least in the van. After the situation was cleared I could go in and check the flashes and even help with deencrypting their computers if they were there."

"Thank you for the break."

"You're welcome. Were all your and Jimmy's missions like that: eliminating cells, rescuing people?"

"Yes, Manus also had the deserved reputation that once he found the niche that he thought you could succeed in; that was what you did. We were his two person action squad. For almost a year it was pretty much just us doing the dirty work that was written off as gas explosions or turf warfare. There were three other times we had an additional team, but they were a team already imbedded and we were needed to keep their covers intact. In the midst of this was the second call from your dad, but I preempted his warning with my concerns. There was a laugh on the other end and he said that I was right. The death of the target we were sent to eliminate was faked. He then gave the coordinates where the target was lightly guarded waiting for his transport to his retirement destination. He ended the call with 'Chuck still needs you to come home'; he hung up as I was saying, 'I miss you so much'. We were able to slip in and out only taking out the warlord; easily being our cleanest mission. After that the next few months fell into the same pattern, on the one hand the pace that we were on wouldn't allow us to dwell on the previous mission, but dealing with the scum and Bryce just skews your view of humanity. Our 'territory' greatly expanded into Asia, Africa, and even South America twice. Due to the extra travel our prep time was minimized and we now had to patch ourselves up and plan on the plane as well. However, I always gave myself an hour when we boarded to relax and most of it was spent looking at this."

Upon those words Sarah lifted a photo of the two of them and presented it to Chuck. It sent conflicting emotions through Chuck. Initially he was pleasantly surprised that she needed it, but soon he allowed himself to accept it and inspecting the photo more closely and seeing wear marks surrounding his head; anger crept in and its target was inward. He had let Sarah down. After two months with the new arrangement things had somewhat settled; Beckman had stopped bugging him with asking him how he was doing and went back to only mission information. Asking Casey what he knew about Sarah and bearing his non-responsive grunts eventually evolving into a myriad of small sentences containing 'Bartowski' and 'fuck'. The creativity was impressive, but soon the big guy got what he wanted: a promise to stop bugging him as long as he told if something had happened to Sarah. At the time a part of him believed Casey had no idea about 'the best partner he'd ever had'. He was unsure whether Casey couldn't find anything or didn't care to. Sarah confirmed his dad was able to track her; they would need to have a long conversation about that as his father had always avoided any discussion regarding Sarah's whereabouts.

Sarah was getting concerned about Chuck's sudden silence and feeling a slight tenseness in his arms told her that he was probably blaming himself for something which was confirmed as she felt the tears hit her head and his reticent, "I'm sorry."

Watching this unfold through the rifle scope the agent was slightly confused as to how they could have been this great team with all this useless emotion. The acid in his stomach started to rise and reverting back to training knew that this was going to take longer than expected, especially to achieve the necessary results of one dead while the other watches. Staring at the target for too long can make you twitchy, and in this case also extremely uncomfortable. Quickly setting up a parabolic mike to listen for the time to strike; the agent knew this would increase the discomfort level, but allow his eyes to rest and allow him to refocus and use their words to fuel what needed to be done. After checking that the equipment was working with a grimace he did a quick survey and noted that Casey was sitting in his car and from the sound at least both had stopped crying and Walker was blabbering on about another mission.

"Wait he tied himself to a bungee cord, and before you gave the signal he crashed through the skylight and emptied his clip?"

"Yes, he lucked out because there was a large commotion in the night club so I only had to deal with one goon who was guarding the door and get into the room. There I found him lying on the ground and two of the guards making their way to him so I took them out and untied the hostage who had been nicked by a bullet and shook Jimmy who said he miscalculated the depth of the room. I asked if he was ok to climb and despite the obvious broken nose and the way he wasn't moving, a rib or two as well he insisted he was ok so I clipped the hostage to my belt and went back out through the skylight. We took her to a military hospital and thanks to Jimmy's injuries warranting an overnight observation I got to sleep in a bed not connected to a mode of transportation for the first time in a while."

"So you got to relax a little?"

"Not really the next morning around seven a.m. I was brought into the communication room where Jimmy showed up a few minutes later saying his ribs were only bruised. Manus's face appeared moments later and began going over our next mission in Cartagena where a cartel had quickly risen to become dominant and was not only taking out the other cartels, but kidnapping Westerners and auctioning them off. We were to observe and in forty-eight hours come up with an executable plan to take out the head. The airplane ride was exceptionally quiet as looking over the information two things became apparent to me: first formulating the plan within the time frame was going to be difficult at best and second the reported head seemed more of a figurehead and not somebody with the intelligence to build this organization, he was more of a zealot. This was also our first mission with cover identities and Manus went against standard protocol by having us staying in a room, but not as a married couple. I'm still not sure if that upset Jimmy or if there was something else as he wasn't offering anything; he'd shrug his shoulders when I asked for his input and soon we were back talking online with Manus and he was less than enthused about my plan to take out the one lieutenant who appeared to have the qualities expected to lead and he also had a protection detail that was just as large as the supposed head of the group. He became irate when I asked for another day to plan that out and said it had to be tonight as he had coordinated a Ranger unit to pick us up at 2200 in the mansion the 'head' was operating from. For the first time in a couple of days Jimmy spoke up and said that we would handle it and ended the transmission from his uncle. At my scowl Jimmy said 'we would have to go in hard and fast so that we could get to him before he made it to one of the two safe rooms that we knew about in that mansion'. I countered that going in stealthily could allow us to get to him before any alarms went off. He calmed down and agreed to it. The other point of contention was access point: the bedrooms were closer to the rear, but that was the more easily defensible position and had more guards. The front only had a guard at the gate and two at the door. Once inside there were fifteen to twenty persons to deal with including staff that could be trained as well. The hope was that he would be in the study which was towards the front and not the bedroom. From the background info the head rarely had anything scheduled before ten a.m. and unless he slept eleven hours he should still be up during the 2100 hour.

The guard at the gate was easy as Jimmy stated that I was a gift and the guard got too close, the same held true for those at the front door and we made it inside without any trouble. He was not in the study and against my judgment we split up; I wanted to check the parlor and dining room, he was insistent about the bedrooms. I found the 'head' along with two other lieutenants in the parlor and took all three out as I heard heavy action firing taking place in the house. Cutting through the kitchen the chef made the mistake of throwing a knife at me and I didn't encounter anybody else until I got to the back and saw Jimmy had taken out at least six, but there were still nine firing at him. I quickly took out three from my advantage point before they noticed me and split with three taking on each of us. Soon it was us against four, but Jimmy started cursing at them in Spanish. The only thought that came to me was he was out of ammo and needing to retrench to a different area I grabbed a downed guard's gun and tossed it to where Jimmy had been. The sound provided a distraction for me to take out the other two on me, but then I saw Jimmy just run towards his two taking out the closest one with his knife, but a shotgun rang out and Jimmy' head was mostly gone as I took out the last guard. I ran over to Jimmy, but there was nothing I could do except gather the evidence of the mission goal and take the security footage before bringing him to the rendezvous point where the Rangers picked us up a few minutes later.

Returning to the embassy I contacted Manus immediately upon landing and gave my report. He was quiet for a moment before stating I needed to deliver this before the panel as I was about to say 'ok' I felt the tranq against my neck and when I awoke found myself cuffed sitting in front of the Director's desk trying to figure out exactly how long it had been since the last time I was there. I also felt something on my leg and looking down saw a tracking anklet, looking up Manus had his back to me. Upon the clearing of my throat he didn't turn around but stated an apology for the means of bringing me here the way they did. The footage clearly corroborated my report and the panel would be a mere formality, to be done the next day. The anklet was going to stay on as he was convinced that I would have disappeared and went to you." Sarah paused both to emphasize that he was right and to give her throat a rest as it was dry and this was possibly the longest continuous speaking in her lifetime.

Chuck gave Sarah a quick squeeze and kiss on her cheek before releasing her and soon finding a bottle of water in her hand. She took a number of gulps before placing the cap back on.

"So, this is when you ran into Forrest?"

"Yes, Manus said I was free to walk around most of the complex, but I would need permission if I wanted to go to the range. He took the cuffs off and said that I'd be in one of the guest suites and was still in the process of trying to figure out whom I'd be partnered with after a predicted successful evaluation. Still feeling a little sluggish, but also a little stiff I went to the gymnasium to get in a small workout before lounging in my first bath in who knows how long. But…"

"Forrest was there. When was this?"

"About seven weeks ago."

"So she had been there for about a week after I got her reassigned."

Sarah's jaw dropped at Chuck's statement, "You got her reassigned?"

"At this point the relationship between her and Casey had pretty much turned into post-mission sex. I would give them twenty minutes down in Castle before I would go down there for the post-op report with Beckman. After their last mission they did not hear me come down as they started talking about you and me. Forrest said you had lucked out leaving when you did because you wouldn't have stayed for long with the 'melting man'. Casey started to get angry as neither noticed Beckman's face on the monitor as he said first he was fairly certain you would come up with something else besides fucking C-4 to get me out and that if it still happened the way it did you might have left, but only because you had failed in protecting me. Forrest guffawed and made another crack about you being shallow as Casey looked to the screen and saw the General scowling and both jumped when I said 'I cannot work with Agent Forrest anymore, she made a promise to me that she just broke.' Forrest turned around and started to come at me when Casey grabbed her and told her to look at the screen; at the sight of the General she slowly slinked back to her chair and was gone that night."

They sat in silence for a few moments; Chuck knew better than to push while Sarah was processing. "I don't feel as bad anymore. She was demonstrating basic boxing skills to a group of eight when she saw me walking by. She called my name and when I saw her so many different things were running in my mind by the time I realized where I was we were in the ring with a growing group surrounding it. My second glove was taped on and as we went to the middle I asked why she was there and she just smirked saying that she, Carina, and Zondra were in a rotation due to your sexual proclivities. She got her wanted response and landed a sucker punch."

"How does she know Carina and who is Zorna?"

"Zondra, Carina, another woman named Amy, and myself were part of a group Graham called the Cat squad. I'll tell you about them later. After the punch she turned to the crowd and said in a teaching voice 'you need to take advantage of every situation and expect to fight to the death, but depending on the mission the key may be to stun your assailant enough to get away asap'. She had kept an eye on me and was surprised I hadn't attacked yet. I asked if this was merely an exhibition and she said she doubted I would make contact so I should go for it. We started slowly with some jabs and I caught the bridge of her nose which pissed her off and she started throwing haymakers. I let her tire a little before landing a nine punch combination that left her on her knees. I could see her struggle to get up so I turned to the crowd and said, 'It's also important to know when you are outclassed and get the hell out of Dodge.' Forrest made it back to her feet, but she was shaking. I asked for the trainer to come in and stop it when Forrest laughed and spit on me. I gave her a right to her solar plexus but pulled up on my left cross only for her to still crumble to the ground. The crowd cleared as I made my way through and I didn't stop until I made it to where my room was. I ordered a chocolate malt and just sat in the tub and found myself somewhat relaxed for the first time in… a long time."

"Did the fight affect your review?"

"Possibly, because just a review in itself means the agent is held out for at least a week. The willingness to fight and holding back at the end may have convinced them I was fit as it lasted fifteen minutes with the verdict of an immediate return to the field. Manus seemed nonplussed at the conclusion; despite everything it was still family that was lost. He was able to tell me to pack up and get some lunch and be at his office at 1300. While the previous night made me feel almost human, the anklet was a healthy reminder of how little freedom I had. I packed and ate and was at his office at 1245, his assistant was out so he let me into his office and thanked me for protecting Tim before sitting I looked around the room and saw numerous legal/letter boxes which he said were the missions that we had performed. He then apologized as the person whom I thought was the head roared into power after the destruction at the mansion and has stepped up his actions and brutality. His influence was beginning to spread and as he was absorbing the other cartels he was starting to step up his interest in acquiring all types of weaponry particularly biologic and nuclear. It was then there was a knock and Daniel Shaw entered the room. Manus started to introduce us before Shaw stopped and said we had been on a mission before. Manus looked at me and said if I was up for it this would be a long term mission to eliminate his influence and upon completion it would be my final one if that was what I wanted."

"Wait. One last mission nothing good comes from…" Chuck trailed off as his eyes fixated upon her covered leg.

"I asked if that meant I was going to be released or a desk job and he replied we would discuss that on my return. I tried not to think of you when I agreed as I knew I'd get emotional thinking of everything that's happened. Manus looked happy for the first time that I could ever recall and said we were flying out to Georgetown, Guyana and from there make our way through Venezuela as a film scouting crew working for Sean Penn. There were only three small outposts there and not to expect any trouble from Chavez as he doesn't want any outside influences. From there we need to make our way back to Cartagena and finish the job outside of Bogota in a huge estate which is the control center. At that point extra help will be provided as we deem necessary. It was hard to hold in my smile, but the ten hour flight with Shaw made it much easier. We were in a small cargo plane that had the jeep we were to use as well as most of the supplies to start with. There were three rows of four seats split into two's and he gave a disappointed look as I sat as far from him as possible as I pulled your photo out whispering 'just one more' before I could hear him approach. I thought I placed it back in time, but he asked if that was my 49B. Not wanting to start this partnership with a lie I said it was when I noticed him rubbing a wedding band. He sat down on the row behind me and started telling me about his wife. She was a spy working as a double agent who was killed in the line of duty. I told him I was sorry to hear that and he silently nodded his head so I wasn't going to continue with the conversation when he started bringing up a number of past missions including some with you. Hearing a monotone, emotionless voice for almost the entire trip was torture, but it strengthened my resolve to get this mission done as quickly as possible."

"You had to deal with that for seven weeks?"

"Six, I've been in hospitals and traveling here the past week. Thankfully when we landed he didn't talk nearly as much. I just attributed it to flight nerves. While Jimmy was a better shot, Shaw was a little better in most of the other spy attributes."

"I'm not trying to sound like that guy, but did he try anything?"

"No on both, I've learned for the most part male spy's brains and pride lies in the much smaller head. It did surprise me a little especially in the way he continually hit on Bryce's partner. Our supplies lasted a little over two weeks which was enough to get us to Cartagena. We resupplied and spent the next week making our way to Bogota with little difficulty. The next week was spent trying to gather intel about his compound which appeared pretty formidable the only substantial cover via ground was through a poppy field, an unbelievable amount of trip wires, a bunker reportedly over eighty feet underground, and on any given day anywhere from one hundred to two hundred armed men stationed there. The easiest course of action would be to call an air strike and follow up on the ground, but the compound was where they performed their auctions so we needed to get them out before we could call a strike in. We waited a week before Manus said something else had cropped up and there was not going to be any armed forces support. There was an outside shot at a drone strike after clearing the hostages, but that was changing daily. All he would say was to base a plan with a small group of five to ten people and let him know and disconnected. I shook my head and said we needed to wait five to ten against one hundred let alone two was purely a suicide mission. I looked at Shaw waiting for him to say something and he just twisted the ring for about a minute before he finally said, 'In that compound I can take out the person that killed my wife'. I could only swallow before I was able to say 'then come up with a plan tonight that sounds remotely feasible' and went to sleep. When I awoke and went into the living room of the apartment in Bogota we were staying at I found Shaw asleep within a pile of crumpled papers. Taking a look at a few of them one idea struck me as interesting and I made myself some breakfast along with some extra coffee for Shaw while I worked out some details. Not surprisingly he woke up rather grumpy, but seeing me working on the plan lightened his mood until he saw which plan I was working with."

"The last thing I want to do is stop you, but would you say this plan was as wacky as something I would come up with?"

Sarah slowly nodded her head and Chuck gulped before she continued, "The poppy field was huge and actually surrounded half of the compound. Setting fire to it would provide a huge distraction as well as forcing a number of people to contain it; also the effects of the poppy aromatics may render a few more guards unable to perform at their highest level. If we had ten highly trained mercs and them starting out at one hundred there was a shot. Shaw as he read my outline of supplies and basic strategy quickly became excited… embarrassingly excited in that way as well. He excused himself to his room while I formulated his nickname."

"And?"

"I came up with Woody, for some reason it seemed really appropriate. Upon returning he went over the rest of the plan; coming up with a change if we could get two shoulder rocket launchers. He quickly contacted Manus who seemed impressed with the plan and said the supplies were no problem and he was still acquiring the people. My only part of the conversation came before he hung up when I told him he didn't need to stop at ten, our plan would still work with twenty. Shaw gawked at me, but I only shrugged my shoulders. We maintained our recon to try and get a better pattern for their troop population, but their seemed to be none. A few days later Manus contacted us saying he had six men who would be bringing the supplies and they were top of the line and would be there in two days. They showed up and had impressive credentials so we decided to go ahead with the plan and waited for the wind to be just right which was nine days ago. We started the fires an hour before dawn hoping to make those sleeping a little more difficult to wake up.

The plan backfired as nobody came out to contain the fire let alone try to put it out. We breached the front and quickly took out the group of guards at the front quietly which allowed us to take out the two turrets they had with the rocket launchers. As we lost our advantage of surprise; the haze along with the lack of light allowed us to start strong. It turned out to be closer to the two hundred and although we probably took out eighty before we lost our first we were starting to run low on ammo. We broke into two groups: mine to head for the armory, Shaw's to try and find their hostages. We made it to the armory, but not before losing another person and worse it was practically empty, the ammo wasn't compatible with our guns; the only thing they had was a quantity of claymores. The three of us did a check on our supplies and we would be forced soon to start picking up guns from the ground hoping there was a bullet in them. An explosion soon shocked the three of us back into action and making our way back out the haze was dissipating with the rising of the sun. Most of the guns on the ground were emptied and it broke down into hand to hand on our end.

We finally found the other group, minus Shaw. They said one of the guards tossed what looked like a claymore into the building that held the hostages; it exploded before Shaw could get to it, but they could not identify anybody as there were assorted body parts strewn all over the remaining walls. It was roughly five against forty at this point and they were also without ammo; almost emptying my throwing knives sleeve I took out another five and the other guys started whittling them down, but soon we were down to four against twenty, then three against ten, two against six, and finally it was me against two. After finishing it I went back to where the hostage were held and looked for any survivors and trace of Shaw finding neither I was beginning to feel despondent when I remembered about the bunker. Finding a shaft wasn't difficult and grabbing a claymore and dropping it down I started running. Just as I made it to the entrance I could feel the explosion underneath me as a bullet went under my right shoulder and vest. I grabbed my last throwing knife with my left hand and saw Shaw with a maniacal look on his face and as he started to raise his gun I threw your knife."

"My knife?"

"Yes, the one you cut our cheeseburger with. It caught Shaw just above his heart. I ran over and grabbed his gun and asked him why he would shoot me. Do you remember earlier when I said there was a difference between an analyst and an agent?"

"Yes."

"The last test in becoming an agent is called a red test where you have to kill on order. If you don't kill you are drummed out unless you have an exceptional skill. One of the oldest rumors is that the red test victims are those that failed the test themselves. My red test was the worst day of my life before nine days ago, now I am not so sure. Graham gave me the file and I found myself flying to Paris, first class, my target was female and a few years older than me. Up until seeing her walk down the street I had no doubt that I could do it, but as she approached I froze and just walked past. I could hear her drop her purse and I quickly turned saw something shiny in her hand and fired. I saw her go down, but ran off as quickly as I could. I contacted Graham after an hour in the shower and as he congratulated me I started to feel sick. He revealed that she was a double agent who had turned against the CIA. It turns out the woman I killed…"

"Was Daniel Shaw's wife." Sarah could only nod her head, but Chuck could hear her trying to hold back the sobs, "But she was a traitor, right?"

"I don't know. I stayed with Shaw until he was gone, then walked to our rendezvous point where we had stashed a bag that had a sat phone along with our regular phones and some of the mercs wrote notes to be delivered to loved ones. I leaned against the tree and just stared back at what was left of the compound. It was horrifically hypnotic and I had no idea how long I just watched to see if anything else survived, but nothing came out. As I picked up the sat phone a feeling of dread came over me, but I punched in the number and was soon talking to Manus. Shocked at hearing my voice would be a huge understatement; that I was the lone survivor started making him angry. He asked about Shaw, so I told him Shaw died trying to save the hostages from a claymore, but there were only parts of bodies left. I added that I went back to look after and am still looking at the compound in case somebody else comes out. I could hear a small click before he harrumphed 'what did I do to deserve surviving this, some love struck agent keeping Timmy alive even as they were lacing his vitamins with Laudenol and going into situations he wouldn't send a four man team into and now this taking on two hundred foreign troops along with six mercs and one of the best spies in the world all gunning for me; especially after killing my daughter in cold blood'. I couldn't respond especially as he started calling me every profane thing he could think of, but I couldn't hang up. With more than a hint of exasperation he stated that Graham used me to kill his daughter in order to become Director. I could only respond that I didn't know which got a laugh. He then said if I ever set foot in North America again; you and the two doctors would be eliminated. Which terrified me far more than the threat that he was putting a large enough bounty on my head that any so called friend would be thrilled to deliver it even via Fed Ex before finally hanging up. I threw the phone back as far as I could back towards the destruction before I broke down. At some point I realized I still had Shaw's gun taking out the clip there was one bullet left. I put the clip back in and yelled as loud as I could, 'Chuck Bartowski, I love you' before I placed the gun to my temple.

Then your dad called for the third time, but I still thought it was you. He said please don't do this. I answered that I love you and this was the only way to keep you and your family safe. He countered that I was the only way to keep everybody safe and that he was sending copies of Manus' phone call to Beckman and a few other people Manus still needs to answer to. Chuck still needs me to come home safely. I pulled the gun away and pointed it down and started crying again when I heard a noise and looked up to see a drone hovering in front of me I jumped and the gun went off into my right leg."

Chuck's attention was brought back to the now partially uncovered right leg that under the towel was wrapped in an almost silky substance it surrounded a contraption that looked somewhat familiar when he recalled it was called a halo, it was a brace but connected to a number of rods that penetrated her upper leg. He was so caught up with her leg he missed her barely whisper something, "Sarah, what did you say?"

"Please forgive me."

"Forgive you for what, I don't understand?"

"I gave up on us."

"No, if the situation was reversed to protect my family I would do the same thing."

"I need you to look at me."

Chuck moved to her side and faced her, "You are my family." The sincerity along with the words caused Sarah to break down. It also created a maelstrom of action on the hill as the now grinning agent refocused his scope and soon the distinct sound of a gun discharge rang through the air.

A/N: What a cruel April Fool's Day prank to leave it at this

"Chuck, please be ok!" Sarah yelled.

"I'm fine, but please let go of me so I can get off your leg." Chuck's phone rang, "Casey what is going on? Why would he do that? We weren't done… Sarah are you coming home?"

"I'd like that very much."

A/N: A little better. One more chapter to finish this story and onto the next. Due to the hour this was finished I'm not going over it with the proverbial fine toothcomb. Please review. Also do not own Sean Penn any connection between him and Hugo Chavez is merely a coincident. Also Evelyn is Manus' daughter if it wasn't made clear.