Nightmares become reality.

I didn't know how to explain anything that was going on.

Becoming a girl after university.

Aimed with a pistol and a rifle.

And fighting a swordsman...well...swordswoman

….god damn it Japan. I come here and you throw who knows what at me

I didn't know what to think, but I grabbed my pistol out of instinct, aiming it at the girl. She calmly walked towards me, taking long drawn out steps, each one almost echoing around. I kept my grip on the gun, my right hand holding it in front of my, my left hand moving for a knife I never knew I had, grabbing the gun loose enough to be able to let go and quickly deflect a blade with it. This body already felt alien, that was bad enough.

"I was expecting you to have died during that fall" She admitted, flipping the grip on one of her swords, holding it in front of her face, then licking along the flat of the blade. "Oooooh...I was trying to think of ways to apologies to my swords...and then I find that your survived" …..that is a good question. How the hell did I li- ANOTHER TIME! "I've been looking all too long for you...Gwehr" Gwehr? Erm...rifle? "I'm not about to let you escape this time. Even if you escape I will make sure your head is part of my collection" I started backing up at this point, trying to keep at least some semblance of distance between us.

"Wh-what do you want with me?" Well, I had to ask, but I wish my voice weren't quivering as much. She smirked, throwing the sword at me. I quickly swung the knife at the blade, batting it away, the blade cutting through the stone wall of the building next to me like paper. I looked over, seeing it dug into the cement floor.

…..you know, part of me doesn't exactly want to end up on the wrong side of that. I looked back to her, still backing up, gritting my teeth. I quickly aimed the pistol, taking a few shots at her again, watching her swat each one away, two spots of smoke flying up as the halves impacted the ground.

Click click click...oh crap.

She took this chance to charge me, throwing her sword up and catching it whilst drawing a second sword from...actually where did she draw it from? You know what, matter for another time. I unlocked the clip, swinging the pistol to throw it at her whilst backing up, watching her simply cutting through it like a hot knife through butter. I turned around, grabbing a new clip and starting to load it in, feeling her cutting through the air just behind me. I took a jump onto a dumpster, charging the clip before jumping again, feeling her cutting where my feet where, landing on the wall, putting the knife back and grabbing a new pistol, spinning around and pointing both at her.

"BACK OFF!" I yelled, firing them as fast as I could at her, watching her swinging away the bullets each time, jumping to the side at times to avoid them. Seems I was actually put enough shots through her guard this time to force her to dodge some of them. I got over the other side, sighing as I ejected the clips, quickly slamming them against the clips on my belt. (no I don't know either. They just...seem to materialise as I need them). Somehow, I knew...I had only bought myself time, crouching behind this wall.

And then it hit me...that sword can cut through stone.

The blade of Psychoslut cut just above my head, cleaving through the bricks like it was nothing. I gasped, rolling forward away from it and turning around, watching the wall just...disintegrate as she cut through it. Great, looks like that isn't going to work. Now why isn't anyone looking at this and thinking 'hey, I should ring the police' about now?

She yanked the chain, the blade attached to it flying to her side. I didn't have the capability of fighting her in close combat. Nor did I have the weaponry. She smirked, knowing what I was thinking, flipping her grip around again. I put my pistols by my side, grabbing whatever it was off my back, looking it over as I backed up. G36...damn good rifle. Whatever, this was getting strange enough. Least I can say I've got something good on me. Now if I knew the laws of this thing then I'd be happier doing this. I charged it quickly, running away from her, aiming the gun at her and firing every single shot I could, not bothering to aim, just firing towards her.

And she just swung her swords around, the bullets pinging away, running after me. God damn she's skilled. I folded the stock over, swinging the gun down and ejecting the mag, watching it fall out and grabbing another from my waist, loading it up and charging the mag.

Now, might I say now...whatever force it is that's giving me almost endless ammo is a god send. I just want to know how far this goes. I mean do I get near enough any gun I want or am I stuck with these? And am I stuck with them on me forever. I heard her getting closer, turning my head and seeing her right behind me, throwing her sword again. I swung my gun at it, smashing it to one side, hearing steel scream before she jumped at me, her blades trying to stab me. I stopped quickly, turning around and running towards her, sliding under her as she went flying over me, and I quickly followed up, grabbing her leg, getting up quickly and swinging her over my head, slamming her into the ground before aiming the gun at her.

My finger froze, stopping me from pulling the trigger, the woman groaning as her swords went flying from her, impaling the ground behind her. I could finish her right here, right now...but no...I'm not a killed. I gave her a quick boot to the face, turning away and starting to run once more, the woman laughing before jumping up.

"You're good" She spoke, pulling on the chain and getting her twin swords back, putting one on her belt and grabbing the other sword. "This is going to be DAMN fun" I want you to get the DAMN hell away from me. That's for sure. I looked ahead, trying find a way to get some distance on her, seeing a construction site up ahead.

….if those swords are that sharp...that might be the only way I can get rid of her. I looked back, seeing her now running after me once more, smirking. That's when I made up my mind.

I'm losing her through that. That's my one goal. And as I swung around the corner I felt the blade fly by my back, hearing it impact the wall opposite, tripping but recovering quickly, stopping and seeing the chain grow taut. God damn she's determined. Before you know it she'll be-

"Wh-what the?" oh god no...

I looked down the road, and saw someone I didn't expect to see here. Yukisora, looking towards me in a state of disbelief, most likely wondering why a green haired woman, armed to the teeth with fire arms, was running away from someone who had just thrown a sword. She stepped back a few times, taking a defensive stance, her mind obvious trying to decide between fight or flight.

Sword girl came around the corner, her chain rattling as it flew back to her hands, then hearing a chuckle from her. I turned around, starting to run once more, firing another shot at her. Again, she pinged it away as if it was nothing, then looking to Yukisora. "Ah...the girl huh?" She asked, giving me a smirk. "No witnesses...you should know that..." Shit. I put the pistol, grabbing Yukisora, eliciting a cry from her as I picked her up and carried her bridal style away, sprinting as fast as I can.

"Wh-what are you doing?" She asked, thumping me a few times as she wanted me to let her go. I swallowed, looking at her as I turned a corner, resisting the urge to just drop her and let the bitch behind me have her.

"Forgive me ma'am" I spoke, trying to sound as little like myself as I could. "But that woman is out to kill both of us. I'd rather carry you and get to safety then let her kill us both!" I almost yelled, getting her to stop. "Just trust me, we'll be fine" Will we? I hoped at least we would be. Though I can't say at the least that this is going to be anywhere near the truth. I mean, how often have I been in situations like this. Never.

I quickly dived around the corner, another sword flying by me, cleaving through the frame of a car, embedding itself in the tarmac of the road the other side as I passed a couple of shops and other buildings, scrambling to try and find the way ahead, or somewhere to leave Yukisora and break off. I darted down an alleyway before our friend managed to get around the corner, dashing down the rat run and finding that it split off, one way going away from the construction that I was looking for, the other heading towards it. I stopped, panting as I got to the crossroads, looking between the pair. I knew the way I wanted to go...but did she?

"Which way to the building site?" I asked, putting Yukisora down, finding her blushing her face off as she took to her own feet, brushing herself down.

"If you head down that route" She started, pointing to the right route, which happened to lead to one of the few parks in this place. The trees would be good, buy me a little time, our companion some cover...but most of all it wasn't as cramped as city streets, less to damage, less to destroy that couldn't be replaced relatively cheaply. "You'll come to a crossroads after a few minutes of running. If you head left from there, you'll find it. Though..." She put a finger to her chin, both of us turning to one another, and I could see in her eyes she wanted to ask the question. 'Who are you?' and how I'd answer THAT is hard enough. "Wh-Where was...A friend of mine is missing" Friend? OH CRAP! Male me.

"He's fine" I reassured her, putting my hands on her shoulders, giving her a confident smile. "I helped him out earlier. Seems our friend is only after me" I have to stop calling her friend and the like. She's out to kill me, that doesn't exactly ring of hugs and kisses now did it. I heard footsteps down the alley, swinging around and grabbing my pistol and knife, aiming down there. "GO! Run home and stay safe. I'll inform Him that you're safe when I find him later" She gave me a look that was slightly alien to me as of this moment, the blush fading as she started walking away, but not turning her back to me. She wanted that last parting view of her saviour it seems. "GO!"

"Th-thank you" She spoke, now turning around and running, her feet echoing around the cramped space. I closed my eyes, nodding and smiling to myself.

"She'll be fine" I said, ejecting the clip and loading a new one, just in case. The G36 and spare gun having disappeared, and the ammo still coming out of no where. "I just have to handle Bitchy Mcbitch"

"You rang?"

My eyes shot open just in time to see a sword flying towards me, and I ducked as fast as I could, feeling the blade going through my hair, cutting a large amount of it off the back, before it embedded into the wall behind me. Welp, she was here, that can be said. I aimed quickly, firing a few shots off, to which she simply dived behind a dumpster once more. I grabbed the chain with two fingers, yanking it and pulling the sword out of the wall, running off towards the park with the thing rattling behind me, and I could feel her trying to pull it back to her. Not today lassie, no today. I need to keep you dancing with me.

As I pelted it full sprint through the grassy bounds of the park, I darted past trees of varying types: Tall oaks, small pines, that sort of thing. If it wasn't for the fact that I was running over grass and through ponds that soaked through my boots (That's going to be comfortable later) then I'd be able to enjoy this place more. But still, as I mounted a bench, jumping over the other side, Psycho finally got her strength back, yanking the chain tough enough for it to slip through my grip. Giving her her ranged advantage back. Well, I say advantage, the ability to throw her blades. I jumped off of said bench, using her grabbing the blade back as momentum to swing around, firing my pistol, without aiming, towards her, emptying the clip as she easily swatted them away using just one sword. I landed roughly, rolling as I hit the ground to try and keep going, but tripping as I got back up, falling onto my front in a pond with, THANKFULLY, only concrete at the bottom. I shook my head, hearing a battlecry behind as I quickly rolled over, seeing her lunging at me, both blades poised to stab me. I gasped, quickly rolling onto my side, somehow ending up in between the pair, a fact that, if her face didn't tell me enough, obviously annoyed miss sword.

"FUCKING DIE ALREADY!" See what I mean? I punched her straight in the face, making sure to hit her right on the nose, watching her recoil slightly before aiming the pistol at her shoulder, firing off a snap shot and hitting gold...or bone in this case, Bitchykins crying out as the bullet dug in, letting go of a sword in order to hold the wound, obviously not used to pain. I used the time I had, punching her once more and kneeing her chest, weakening her hold on me as I gave her one last strong punch, knocking her off to the side of me, water splashing up around her as she landed face first in it. I jumped up, swallowing before running once more, looking back once more to see her getting back up slowly, her uniform now starting to turn translucent. I looked over my clothes, finding my shirt going the same way, my face burning as I realised she had one thing over on me

An actual bra.

Quickly doing up my jacket on the move, I heard her cry out once more, looking towards me as she licked a blade. Way to go, you pissed off the psycho bitch. What next? Are you going to run for president Craig? She jumped up, grabbing her swords, water splashing up around her as she did and turning to me, starting to just sprint after me. I looked back ahead, seeing one of those construction barrier things (you know, the type that denote where you shouldn't go on a construction site), sliding under it and getting back up the other side. I looked back as I hit road, seeing her jumping it...and I swear she should have been an Olympian as white girl got hops. She could've clear the wall of the university if she tried, at least jumping quadruple my height. What the hell? I fired one last shot at her, and getting the same result as before.

Come on Craig, learn already. You're starting to seem insane expecting different results. But still, it at least seemed to be drawing her further along her path of trying to kill me. I just needed to bait her. That's all. The plan would come together in time.

I don't know how long I'd been running. Nor how many clips I'd gotten through (seriously, if this keeps up I'm gonna swear someone is reversing time on my belt to give me more clips). But it had to have been at least...10 minutes straight of running. This was getting ridiculous. Someone would have rung the police by now. Two women running through a town, one shooting at a swordsman isn't exactly something that goes unnoticed...I mean, I know Japan is a weird place with it's more liberal culture but come on, this shit is bananas. But anyway, I'd gotten closer, it was just the next street over.

"GOT YOU!"

I swung around, seeing the sword flying at me too late, moving my leg just in time for it to cut into my leg but not do anything severe...EXCEPT STING LIKE A BITCH! I cried out, gritting my teeth before aiming at her again, seeing her running, passing a trailer containing enough barrels to make Donkey Kong jealous, moving my aim to the padlock and firing, blasting it off as the back of the trailer swung open, the door itself nearly hitting her in the face, but the wooden barrels rolling out and forcing her to stop or risk being run over by one of them. I took another shot, this one aimed at her leg, the girl crying out and hopping a tad as she felt the bullet dig into her shin. I kept aiming, trying to get another shot in, but the barrels now stuck firmly in the way, gritting my teeth before running into the yard.

Time to put this plan into action.

I looked around the yard quickly, finding that the building they were working on hadn't even been started, though the scaffolds had already been built up to around the fourth floor, a massive crane in the centre set up for the crews to work even higher...OK, I'm sorry but was this set up by 'builds are us'? This is inefficient at best. They're working to higher floors without the ground work being there. Poles were in the ground, metal tubes for supporting the scaffolding, with a few tools left around, including a few with gas canisters, and netting in the scaffolds to protect it from the elements...I think...I don't know for sure. I nodded, smiling to myself as I limped in, panting. I just hoped she took the bait.

I got into position, standing the other side of one of the nets, finding that I could look through it, but she wouldn't be able to, aiming with my pistol. She came around the corner, stopping at the entry and scanning around, trying to find me. I held my breath, aiming as best as I could, watching her walk in. She had her eyes glued to the floor as she walked, and I couldn't help but wonder...why?

And then it hit me.

I'm bleeding...

She's following the blood on the ground. She turned to where I was, throwing a sword towards me, the blade cleaving through the netting and scaffold as if it were nothing, and I barely dived in time, feeling it fly over my head, the netting falling away to reveal myself to her, and the smile on her face said it all, the woman sprinting as though she weren't even injured, cutting through the metal as she did so. I gasped, raising my knife up to block the first swing at me, batting her away and backing up as she swung around wildly, frantically trying to cut away at me, though most of the time missing me, and then, only niching the clothing I was wearing. A pain in and of itself but one I was prepared to deal with.

I got under one of the scaffolds, diving to one side to dodge the blades of death being swung at me, hearing the steel screaming as I got back up, turning to her as she came under as well. I kept backing up, putting my pistol away and holding only the knife in my hand, not at all bothered about attacking her now. She was playing right into my hands. She kept swinging, and I kept dodging, and though my clothes slowly disintegrated into nothing but rags, she kept hitting the poles.

I don't know how long I kept it up...but the amount she'd cut through...I knew I'd done enough. I was panting, my chest barely held in by remains of the leather jacket, but she stopped. One end of the scaffold to me and I waited the other, grabbing my gun and firing a shot at her. She dodged, throwing her sword at me, and I dodged it in turn, grabbing the chain and smirking at I swung it around, forcing the blade to coil around a beam, diving out before she managed to get another swing at me.

"WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!?" She yelled, as I grabbed my pistol, aiming towards a cainster at the start of the rows.

"Bringing the roof down" I told her calmly, firing a bullet towards the gas canister, watching it explode like a firework, and forcing a chain reaction, the weakened scaffolds now collapsing under their own weight thanks to a nudge from the explosion, the whole lot coming down like a house of cards.

And psycho bitch stuck under them, caught by her own chain. She frantically tried to break free, even trying to cut the chain, but being unable to, the wood and metal falling upon her, and her frantic cries dying out. I sat there a few seconds, frozen, unable to move, unable to comprehend what had just happened, only moving to put the pistol away.

I had just brought this lot down on a woman who had tried to kill me...

and why didn't it feel right?

I turned away, starting to limp slowly to the entry to the yard, then pausing, turning back towards it, hearing her crying out from within. She was still alive...and for all intents and purposes...I should let her die...

….but then I wouldn't be me.

I turned around, sighing as I walked back over to where she had been left, starting to slowly dig her out, first seeing a panic stricken eye looking around, trying to find a way out, then seeing me. I stopped, looking at her as seriously as I could.

"Truce...I free you, and we stop this fighting" I told her, not hearing her answer. "Blink once if you agree...twice if you don't" There was a long painful pause as she thought it over, and I honestly thought in my head that I'd have to leave her here to rot. Trapped until dawn when the workers would return.

How thankful I was when I saw her blink once.

I nodded, starting to dig the rest of her out.

I think it was around...half an hour later, with dusk starting to set in that I managed to dig her out, seeing her broken body full of bruises and bleeding, her grip on her blades gone. I carefully pulled her free, panting from exertion, then letting her go, falling onto my behind and supporting myself with my hands as I closed my eyes, my pain suddenly magnified.

"Why?" I blinked, wondering what I'd just heard. "W-why...did you...save me?" I looked to her, seeing her looking confused, then standing up and walking over to her.

"Because I'm not the type to kill a pretty lady" I told her, grabbing her arm and throwing it over my shoulder, lifting her up gently. "Up-see daisy" She cringed, looking back to me with a blush.

"D-Don't think this changes anything" She looked almost sad as she said this. "I-I still...will take you down"

"Sure you will" I told her, reasserting my grip. "And you'll always know I spared you..." She looked away, sighing. "Now then...what'd'ya say you tell me your name...I don't think the name I have suits you" Psycho bitch. Bitch Mcbitchy. Slut...cutting edge lines obviously...no pun intended.

"Why should...I tell you" She spoke, as I started walking, bringing her along with me.

"Because I'll tell you mine" She chuckled, closing her eyes. "Fair trade, no?"

"...I've tried to kill you twice now...and you ask for my name and save my life after I try and kill you" She shook her head, giving me a small smile. "I don't know who you are...but your a strange person"

"Considering we're both...Kampfer, that's what you called it right?" She nodded, as I got to the tarmac. "I don't think becoming a Kampfer is normal at all if you went through the same thing I did...not exactly easy in this form"

"Tell me about it...I don't like this war" War?

"Erm...come again?" She looked at me, giving a confused look once more.

"You're...new to this aren't you?"

"New to what?" She sighed, shaking her head and taking her arm off of me, holding her side.

"Nothing...do me a favour, Gwehr" She spoke, reaching into her pocket and pulling something out. "When your back to your normal form...hand this to the librarian" She held her hand out, and I moved mine under hers, and she put a small...thing, I can't exactly see with her hand in the way right now. "She'll understand...the one at the university by the way" Well, least I have an excuse to go there now. "As for your clothing...don't worry. Changing forms will have it fixed up for you" THANK GOD! I don't want to walk home like this. She took her hand away and I looked at what she had given me.

A small key chain...of Garu from that weird anime short, Pucca...or was it Pukka? Whatever, the little ninja vow of silence guy who barely avoided death by fortune cookie. (whoever reads this fortune will explode and such) I let it dangle in front of me for a time before nodding, sighing and closing my eyes.

"May Bishamonten guide you"

I looked back to her upon hearing her say these words, seeing her limping away alone, heading back to whatever home she was from. I turned away as well, sighing as I limped away.

Now for the hard part...how exactly do I turn back to normal?

And where am I?

I think it was an hour or so later. I managed to sneak into a back alley once more and tried just about every single way I could to change back (and some were cheesy if you must ask...none were messy) and somehow...I did...man did it feel good to be the man again. Jeez...now I'm gonna be stuck thinking of that fucking thing. Jeez. I got back to the university, my bag and such back on my person as I started to walk back home, sighing.

How the hell do I even begin to explain today? Madness? The beginning of something new? Almost like some cheap anime? Possibly. But then...I'll admit it was a rush. Don't think I'll find a better way of getting fit then near death battles. I chuckled slightly, getting back to the shrine near my home.

"CRAIG! THERE YOU ARE!" was that Yukisora?

I turned around, seeing the girl running towards me, almost bumping into me before she stopped, panting heavily. I tried my best to look happy to see her, which I was, but I was also...amazed. I mean, I was half expecting her to be at home wrapped up in a small ball. But here she is, panting, her hands on her knees, looking at the ground as she tried to recover her breath.

"Yukisora, what can I do you for?" I asked her, giving her a smile. She held a hand up, coming back up from her breathing stint to look at me, now better, though her face flushed.

"Listen...I have...a favour to ask you" Favour? Oh dear. "The truth is...I think I met someone today...someone I like the look of...someone who's new to the area, apparently" wait, is she on about me? "Someone who's strong, kind, smart...skilled with a gun" Oh baby, she's on about me. Day dream of a date with Senpai, here I come. I nodded to her, trying to look neutral about this. "And...good looking...damn they are beautiful" I smiled.

"Sounds like you met the one of your dreams" I told her, getting a nod from her.

"I-I know" She spoke, then turning to me, her hands balled up into fists just below her face, looking as though she was begging. "S-so...I was wondering" Say it...come on, you know you want to. "If you would do me the honour" Say it...please? "Of introducing me to her"

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS...wait, wha?

My bag fell off my back as I stood there frozen, caught off guard by her admission. Was she...on about...my female side...the erm...'Kampfer' side of me.

"Say what?" I asked, getting her to walk uncomfortably closer to me, like she was going to ask ME on a date. "Erm...who?"

"I don't know her name, but she's apparently a friend of yours" She explained, putting her hands on mine, moving them in front of me and holding them, running on the spot as she did this. "Please. I have to meet her, at least once more. She seems wonderful" …..I'm just going to say it, what the crap is going on?

"Her? Erm...which her is this?" Quick brain, think of a name. 'On it Craig'.

"The Green haired one" Green hair...didn't I make a green haired girl called Silven? That names not even foreign, it's fantasy setting. Hell, how do I explain that a girl who's name belongs in a fantasy realm is ACTUALLY in use by a girl in this world. "I'd do anything to meet this girl...and the number of things I'd do to this girl...with this girl...she was so sexy...and that body needs...attention" BRAIN! NOW! OVERDRIVE! 'Silvia Eren Dora'. GOT IT!

"Her name is Silvia Eren Dora...but I know her as Silven" OK as I said this, Yukisora's face lit up like a Christmas tree, and her grip on my hands tightened...and despite them being very soft hands, they still hurt. "I...might be able to get it organised so that you can meet her...but I'll have to ask her"

"OH THANK YOU!" She almost jumped at me as she said this, giving me a face full of cleavage (which, whilst nice to get a face full of, wasn't appreciated right now) "THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!" I had to pry her down, taking a deep breath for air as I did so, panting.

"That's...not helping...can't introduce, if dead" hmm...psycho's blades seem very appealing right now. They'd also be less painful. She let me go, though taking my hands once more.

"So...when can I meet her?" That's...a good question...erm...

"I'll let you know when she's sorted and able to, alright?" I told her, getting a nod. "She's only just moved here as well, so she's setting herself up"

"Oh oh, where's she live? I can go help her set up...amongst other things" I playfully hit her head, getting a cute groan in response.

"I'm not saying...she wants to do it herself, amongst other things" Jeez, is this girl a secret lesbian or something? Guess the school did a number on her.

"Fine, fine. Sorry. I'll respect that" She gave in, sighing, settling down. "Just...send me a message with her details on facebook later. After all, she and you need friends, right?" True...this should be good. Managing two facebook accounts and life whilst talking to mum about how I became a woman. That'll go down well.

"I'll see what I can do. She might not be able to do much yet" Don't mention you're on the same email. "But I'll pass the email over later..."

"Great!" She smiled, closing her eyes and giving me the peace sign. "So...you at uni tomorrow?"

"Yeah, early morning lectures, but then the rest of the day is free" I explained, cracking my knuckles. "Shouldn't be much else other then that, but I'm stopping in the library before I leave" Need to see who the bitch is after all. Yukisora leaned in closer, as if hinting me to say something. "Alright...I'll ask Silvia to say hi as well" She beamed once more, giving me another hug, almost breaking my ribs as she did so. I swear this girl could give bear hugs a run for their money. She eventually let me go, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you thank you thank you!" She went through that so quickly that I'm amazed that she's still breathing. "I promise I'll make it up to you some how" I chuckled, grabbing my bag off the ground and nodding.

"It's alright" I re-adjusted my grip, giving her a smile. "I'll catch you later, alright? Get home, it's been a long day" She nodded, giving me a bow before swinging around, waving to me before running off with a skip in her step. I turned away, sighing to myself before walking home.

She fancied the female side...the Kampfer side...just what is even going on any more? Day one and I've got an admirer for someone who isn't me...in a sense. I might need some intervention...possibly on a divine level. This made...no sense what so ever. Why was I even trying to BEGIN to piece this together? This was going to be so amazingly complex, and as I looked at the red bracelet once more, I couldn't help but wonder.

Who put it there...and how...and WHEN!? This is my first day in Japan, I didn't even notice it before, so it was either magically applied, which can't really be a thing (saying that, neither can transforming into a woman) or I was ambushed on the plane and had it shoved on with hypnotism to make it so I wouldn't notice it...of the two, magic seems more likely. And that probably shows how strange this is going to be.

But as I got home, slamming the door closed behind me, locking it and heading straight to the bed room, I got a plan in my mind of what I was going to do. There was someone with answers here. Someone who could explain exactly what was going on. Someone who I had always assumed was just a dream up to this point. And as I grabbed Hunted Down Deer from in front of the bin, almost slamming it down on the desk, sitting down on the chair in front of it, grabbing a can of 7up from the back of the desk, a small supply I'd brought from home, opening it and taking a small swig. I quickly unpacked the laptop, putting it on the desk, plugging it in and turning it on, letting it load up and logging in before I did anything else.

I sighed, looking back to Deer, turning all my attention to him as I got hotmail open.

"I think it's about time you started talking" I said to it, getting no reaction. "We both know it wasn't a dream earlier...so you can either start talking and we can get to a point where we both know what is going on...or I can grab a fork and start cooking you" a bold threat, admittedly, but one I was prepared to carry out. It slowly turned to me, and I crossed my arms, tapping my elbow. "Well?"

"Oh, well, guess that one is up eh sugah?" She asked, I nodded.

"I think it was up when I got attacked by Miss Goody twoswords"

"Oh...well then Mon amis, we need to talk"

"Look, start talking and explaining or that bin is going to be your new home, got it?" She looked over, putting a...paw under her chin.

"I don't know...it does look appealing" I grabbed it tightly by the head, grimacing at it.

"START EXPLAINING YOU DAMN PLUSHY!"

"OW! OWOWOW! OK! I'LL TALK! I'LL TALK!"