Yes, this chapter is VERY contrived but I wasn't feeling very imaginative, folks. Please don't hit me. *hides under the table*

THURSDAY:

Sheppard, Teyla and Ford were on a mission.

From information received from his many and varied sources, John had learned that it was Rodney's birthday. Although he hadn't known the man as long as some of the other expedition members, he was aware that the Canadian never celebrated. That was something that John intended to change.

They headed in the direction of McKay's lab, looking for their errant scientist. As they approached, Sheppard nodded to his two co-conspirators and schooled his expression. He then swiped a hand in front of the door sensor.

"Rodney?" he called as they wandered in. "You in here, Answer Man?"

"Just a minute," came a slightly muffled reply.

The other members of SGA-1 exchanged puzzled glances as they tried to work out where Rodney's voice had come from. A couple of seconds later, a mop of brown hair appeared from the far corner, underneath one of the workbenches.

"Uh, hi guys," McKay greeted, absently wiping at a smudge of oil on his face. "Something you needed?" He gave them a suspicious glance. "We're not due to go off-world til tomorrow," he said, although he sounded uncertain.

Sheppard bit back a laugh. "No, Rodney, we're not due off-world," he replied, wandering over to his geek.

McKay looked up at his team-mate, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Please don't tell me you broke your kart already," he growled.

The pilot rolled his eyes. "No, Rodney, the karts are fine." He hunkered down on his haunches and poked his head into a small enclosure. "What are you doing down here?"

Rodney grimaced. "Fixing one of the ventilation shafts," he said, wiping his hands on his trousers before reaching up to scrub at his hair. He only succeeded in making it stick out at odd angles. "One of the minions decided to see what would happen if they let it suck up a candy wrapper." He let out a long-suffering sigh. "Honestly, some people are too stupid for words." Looking over at the rest of his team as John hauled him upright, he asked, "So what's the emergency?"

"No emergency, doc," Aiden said. "We just figured we'd come and see if you wanted to join us for lunch."

McKay glanced down at his watch as his stomach growled loudly. "I didn't realise the time," he muttered to himself. "Sure, why not? Just gimme a couple of minutes to clean up and then I'm all yours."

Teyla smiled warmly at him. "There is no need to rush, Rodney," she replied. "We can wait."

Five minutes later and the gang were wandering down a hallway.

"Those karts are wild, doc," Ford said, grinning. "If we bust another MALP at some point, would you build me one?"

Rodney chuckled. "I guess that shouldn't be too hard," he said. "They'd be even better if we could find some proper fuel though. Someone's bound to notice that there are numerous fire extinguishers missing from various labs and whatnot."

John laughed. "Yeah," he agreed. "Maybe we can trade for something that'll work? Someone in this galaxy has to have something that'll do the job."

"I believe there are several peoples who use something similar that would meet your requirements," Teyla said. "And it is likely that they will be more than willing to trade for it."

"All I need to do now is bust a MALP," Ford muttered, not quite under his breath. He looked puzzled as the others laughed. "What?" he asked indignantly. "I wanna go-kart too!"

Rodney's mirth died away as he looked around. They were heading to the South Pier. "Wait a minute, this isn't the way to the mess hall," he said, his expression confused.

"Nope," John agreed.

"Then why are we...?"

Teyla opened the door and motioned for Rodney to head out onto the pier.

"SUPRISE!"

McKay blinked as he took in the sight in front of him. The pier was full to bursting with expedition members, all of whom were wearing party hats. "Wh-what's all this?" he stammered.

"Several little birdies told me that today is your birthday, McKay," John said, stepping up next to him. "So I figured that you deserved a party."

"But I don't celebrate my birthday," Rodney said in a quiet voice. He blinked in confusion, shaking his head.

Aiden clapped him on the shoulder. "C'mon, McKay, live a little," he said with a grin. "Even geniuses need to let their hair down occasionally."

"Aiden is correct," Teyla added, resting a hand on the Canadian's arm. "And you deserve this more than anyone, Rodney." She smiled at him. "You work hard so that others' lives may be more comfortable. It is time that we showed you how much we appreciate your efforts."

Rodney looked across to John, his throat tight. He managed to give the pilot a weak smile, which John returned in full.

"I know you don't normally celebrate your birthday and I'm not gonna ask why. It's your choice. But this year, you're having a party." He moved closer to Rodney so that his next words were heard only by the physicist and his team. "You deserve this, buddy. We all owe you one so kick back, relax and eat stupid amounts of cake."

McKay looked back out at the assembled crowd on the pier, catching the eyes of Elizabeth, Grodin, Radek and Carson before turning back to Sheppard and his team-mates. "I... Thank you," he managed. "This is..." he shook his head, smiling. "Thank you."

"Anytime, buddy," John replied, draping an arm around his geek's shoulder. "And now, it's time for presents."

Elizabeth wandered across, holding an immaculately wrapped parcel. She handed it to McKay before giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Happy birthday, Rodney," she said. "I know it's not much, but it's the thought that counts."

"Thanks, Elizabeth." Rodney gently undid the wrapping, ignoring the way that John was bouncing up and down next to him in excitement. Opening the lid of the box, he found a hand-knitted scarf. Taking it out of the box, he looked at Weir quizzically. "Did you knit this?" he asked.

Weir blushed. "Kind of," she said. "Teyla helped me."

McKay felt the soft wool and smiled gently. "It's great."

"Really?"

"Definitely!" Rodney replied, laughing. "I forgot to bring a scarf with me and it gets cold off-world." He glowered at Aiden, who was sniggering. "Well it does!" he grumbled, causing further amusement. "I'm not like you macho military types who never feel the cold!"

"But you come from Canada," Ford teased. "You always get snow in Canada."

"Open mine!" John whined impatiently, cutting off the scathing remark that Rodney was forming.

Zelenka and Grodin wandered over to their boss, handing the Canadian a small package.

"Peter and I have... how do you say... clubbed together," Zelenka said by way of explanation when he saw McKay's puzzled look.

"We thought this might be appropriate for you," Peter added, his eyes twinkling.

Rodney opened their present to reveal a small toolkit.

"We figured that you could use something portable for off-world missions," the Englishman continued. "This way, you can take all the tools you need."

"Thanks, guys," McKay said. "This'll come in handy the next time Sheppard decides to get stuck in a room or activates something he shouldn't." He shot an arch look in the Air Force man's direction.

"Funny, McKay," John growled, but there was no heat in his words. "Are you gonna open my present now or what?"

"Mine first," Carson called, jogging across to them. He gave Rodney a quick once over. "How's the head, lad?"

Rodney grimaced but gave the physician a smile. "It's fine, honestly," he said, not wanting Beckett to start fussing over him. "Like Sheppard said, it was just a little knot."

"Glad to hear it. Here you go then." He handed the Canadian his present, smiling as Rodney opened it to reveal a maple leaf sweater.

"Oh my God, Carson!" Rodney shrieked excitedly. "Where did you get this?"

Beckett laughed. "I've been holding onto it for a while now," he said. "I was going to give it to you last year, when we were still on Earth, but I heard you didn't make a big fuss over your birthday. So I kept it til a suitable moment presented itself."

Rodney pulled his friend into a hug. "Thanks, Carson," he said, his words almost lost.

"You're welcome, Rodney," the Scot replied, returning the hug. "And later on, we're going to have a proper drink."

"Would you please open my present now?" Sheppard moaned, making everyone laugh.

"Ladies first," Rodney said, motioning to Teyla who was already handing him her offering.

"I was unsure of what to give you," the Athosian said shyly, "but I thought that this would be the most useful thing."

Rodney stared at the Athosian fire-starter with a beaming smile. He turned the small device over in his palm, admiring the workmanship and fine etchings that adorned it. "You shouldn't have," he muttered quietly, looking up at his team-mate. "Really, Teyla, I can't accept this."

Teyla smiled and pulled him closer so that their foreheads met. "You can and you shall. You deserve to be happy every so often," she said softly before they separated.

"Here ya go, doc," Ford said, handing a plain box over before John could open his mouth. "Sorry it's not gift wrapped." He stuck his tongue out at the feral haired pilot, who returned the gesture.

"All good things come to those who wait, Major," McKay said, laughing as he opened the present Ford had given him. "Oh, Aiden..." he held up an expensive looking Swiss Army knife.

"I know you lost yours back on the planet with the killer crocs," the young soldier said. "So I figured a replacement wouldn't go amiss." He pointed at one of the attachments. "It's even got a tin opener."

"No expense spared, huh?"

Ford snorted. "Only the best for my team-mates," he replied with a cheeky smile.

"Thanks," McKay said simply, returning the smile.

"Anytime, doc. Anytime."

"Would you PLEASE open my present now?!"

The gang laughed at the high pitched squeal from the Chief Military Officer. Rodney looked across at John, fighting hard to reign in a chuckle at the sight of the pilot's impatient foot tapping.

"Okay, okay," he said. "Hand it over, Sheppard."

"Finally!" the Major exclaimed, handing the scientist a present.

McKay regarded the mismatched wrapping paper affectionately before carefully peeling it away. His jaw dropped as he regarded THE GIFT his friend had given him. "John," he said quietly. "John, this is..."

Sheppard pulled him into a sideways hug. "You're welcome, Rodney," he said.

McKay looked back down at the present he held in his hand, stroking the soft fur. "It's perfect," he said as he gently held the kitten in his hands. "He's perfect," he corrected after a moment. "But how did you know?"

John shrugged. "I know you had a cat back on Earth and I saw the way you reacted when we met these little fellas back on M3X-413," he explained. "So I figured what the hell. I cleared it with Elizabeth and had Carson give this guy a medical to be on the safe side." He reached across to stroke the animal between the ears.

Rodney was speechless. He stared down at the tiny alien kitten and felt his heart nearly burst. The animal mewed quietly and snuggled closer to the physicist. He gently stroked the soft fur, grinning when he heard a purr come from the little animal.

"This is an Elka," Teyla said. "From what the others have told me, it closely resembles an Earth cat." She smiled at Rodney. "They make very loyal pets."

"He sure is a cutie, McKay," Aiden said. "You'll be well in with the ladies with this guy around!"

"Thanks for that, Ford."

"Hey, I'm just saying. You should trade in on it while you can." His cheeks reddened slightly as he admitted quietly, "I know I would."

"What are you going to call him, lad?" Carson asked.

McKay thought for a moment, while he regarded the tabby coloured Elka. Green eyes met blue ones and a smile formed on the physicist's lips. "How about... Fidget?" he suggested as the tiny animal began squirming around in his hands.

"I think that's ideal," Elizabeth said, not able to resist reaching over to pet the Elka.

Rodney turned back to John. "I can't even begin to thank you for this," he said quietly. "And I really don't know what I've done to deserve it but..." He trailed off, shrugging slightly. "Thanks."

"You're my best friend," Sheppard replied simply, "and this is what best friends do. Now, let's party."

Later that evening, Rodney, John and Carson were sat out on the pier with a crate of beer. Teyla and Elizabeth had volunteered to look after Fidget for a few hours, while Ford and a fully recovered Stackhouse made sure that all of McKay's birthday presents made it to the physicist's quarters safely.

Rodney couldn't even begin to find words to thanks his friends. He was still slightly in shock that everyone had found the time to get him cards and gifts, let alone arrange a surprise party on the pier. He took a swig from his beer bottle and gazed out at the ocean.

John and Carson sat on either side of him, all of their legs dangling from the edge of the pier in the moonlight. Sharing a knowing glance, Sheppard and Beckett nodded then turned their attention to the Canadian.

"So then, buddy, did you have a good time earlier?" John asked.

Rodney smiled. "You know, I actually did." He ducked his head shyly and blushed slightly. "And I still can't thank any of you enough for arranging it all."

"Och, lad, don't be daft," Carson said, throwing an arm around McKay's shoulders. "It's what friends do."

"I guess so. I'm not, uh, not so good at the whole friend thing, you know? Don't have much experience in that area."

"Well you do now," John said, giving his team-mate a playful shoulder nudge.

The Canadian looked back at the beer bottle in his hands. "Really, I…" He hesitated slightly, one of his ever-expressive hands waving around in front of him. "This has been one of the best days of my life," he admitted in a low voice. "For years, I've missed out on this. On presents, cards, cake, parties..." He looked between his friends, a crooked smile tugging at his lips. "Today was amazing. I'd forgotten that birthdays were meant to be celebrations."

John and Carson exchanged a glance before the Air Force man wrapped an arm across his friend's shoulders. "Aw, Rodney," he said, "you're more than welcome." He saw a shadow pass across McKay's face and his own softened slightly. "You, uh, you don't have to tell us why you stopped celebrating," he said, "but if you ever do just come and find us."

The physicist let out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. "Thanks," he replied. "I… I can't yet, it's…"

"Aye, laddie, we understand," Carson answered, patting his friend's knee.

Draining his bottle, Rodney plonked it down next to him and scrambled to his feet. "So then, Carson, where's this 'proper drink' you promised me?"

Beckett chuckled. "I thought we'd go down to the Rec Room for that, son," he replied. "We hid some snacks away in there earlier."

"Plus it's got really comfy sofas," Sheppard added. "I don't know about you two, but the floor isn't exactly five stars."

McKay grinned and scrambled to his feet. He then held out a hand and pulled his two friends up. "Agreed," he said once they were all on their feet. "Shall we?"

"Lead on, birthday boy," John said, sweeping his arm out dramatically in front of him and making Carson start laughing again.

The three friends trooped inside to retrieve the bottle of high quality malt whiskey that the Scotsman had managed to sneak in as an additional personal item. As they walked down one of the corridors that held living quarters, Rodney stopped abruptly and stared at his watch.

"Rodney?" asked John, who had walked right into him. "What're you…?"

"Shh!"

Beckett and Sheppard again exchanged a glance. John shrugged his shoulders and looked at his geek.

"Forty-one, forty-two, forty-three…"

"McKay?"

"Forty-nine… Just wait for it… Fifty-three, fifty-four…"

"For the love of God, son, what is going on?" Carson demanded, only to get a hand waved impatiently in his face.

"Fifty-eight, fifty-nine…"

As if on cue, there was a high pitched scream from behind the door they had stopped in front of, following by a variety of curses.

"McKay!" John admonished, despite not being able to keep the grin off his face, "you didn't!"

Rodney laughed. "Oh yes," he replied.

"Do I even want to know?" asked Carson.

Before either of the boys could reply, the door opened suddenly and a furious Kavanaugh stuck his head out. "I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!" he screeched, shivering violently.

"What's the matter, doc?" asked John with an innocent expression. "Something up with your shower?"

The long-haired Chemist let out a strangled scream and disappeared again, which only resulted in McKay and Sheppard laughing even harder.

"Would one of you bampots kindly tell me what is going on?" the Scotsman demanded.

"Later, Carson," Rodney managed to gasp out.

"Yeah, doc, we have alcohol to liberate and an Elka to rescue from the ladies," John added.

They resumed their walk.

Mwahahahahahaaaaaah! DON'T MESS WITH RODNEY AND JOHN! :p Sorry if anyone (namely Rodney) seemed a bit OOC, but I figured it would be fun to work out what everyone would give as presents.

Last chapter is up soon – I think you'll like it. *evil grin*